Fallocaust (The Fallocaust Series) (104 page)

I rose to my feet, Killian was just staring at me, in utter shock and disbelief. Blond hair, tossed from being in bed, dressed in his jacket, over his cloth pants and now a light t-shirt. He looked like I had just smacked him, he just kept staring at me like I was satan.

In my drunken mind all I could think was: Fuck you, I
am
satan.

“Don’t come near me.” I heard him say, his voice was small and cracked. I saw him shifting away towards the door.

I stumbled to the bag and pulled out the skull. I put one arm around his rigid body, and as I did, I pushed the rotting skull into his chest and whispered into his ear.

“And let’s not forget, what you’ve done,
amor meus
.” I felt my own hot breath against my lips. I opened my mouth and kissed the nape of his neck.
“Bona mea
, ” I purred.

I heard his heart lurch, like a thunderous boom in my brain. I felt him push me away, then a hysterical scream.

The skull fell to the floor, and I saw him turn. I grabbed his wrist and clenched it, wrenching him back. The boy whirled around, instead of crying I saw a burning in his eyes. A fiery passion the colour of cracked sapphire, they pierced my chest like a javelin.

Then a blow to my face that knocked me right off my feet.

I stumbled backwards into a wall. I opened my mouth but a clip to my jaw slammed it shut again. I felt my balance go and I fell off to my side, my head smacking against the linoleum.

More rapid breathing... was the stranger back? Sobbing, a scream? Then a metallic slam, followed by another farther away.

“Killian?” I groaned, I managed to hold my hand up to my face. I pulled it back and saw blood, bubbling blood, but no, it was dark now... the basement was dark, and I was alone.

It was quiet.

I woke up many times. Coughing mostly, or throwing up, I rolled around in my own vomit and to top off my humiliating night of boozing I even pissed my pants.

I dragged my shameful ass to the bathroom and filled the tub with ice water. I washed my disgusting self and left my cargo pants to soak in its shame.

“Killi?” I called, I leaned my head against the bathtub rim and closed my eyes. I felt like I had a fever. I sunk myself into the frigid, cloudy water and encapsulated myself. I felt my geigerchip buzz faintly with its warning. I groaned and fell back asleep.

The next time I woke up, I was gasping for air. My eyes snapped open and I raised my head out of the bathwater with choking gags. I coughed and hacked into the cloudy water and started shivering violently. I pulled myself out of the bathtub and went to my bedroom.

The bed was empty. I cursed under my breath as I pulled a blanket over myself, feeling my eyes droop down. That’s right, we had a fight. I came home drunk, he’s at Reno’s? I’ll make it up to him.

Fuck I was tired. I tried to raise myself again but my movements were slow, un-coordinated, sloppy. I fell back into the bed, and still shivering slightly. A moment later the cat came and started kneading my stomach with his paws.

I fell back asleep.

When I was finally able to get myself out of bed, I was shocked to see it was 6 pm. I had been asleep literally all day.

I sat down with a groan on my couch and got out a generous bag of painkillers. I snorted a reasonable amount and finished it off with a dip into my bag of coke to keep me awake.

I held my jaw, it ached. I either fell or someone had punched me last night. I was gaming for fall, since I had been stumbling around everywhere from the looks of it. I needed to get Killian home and start kissing up to him. I was in the dog house with him and I deserved it.

When the drugs were flowing beautifully to my veins I got my guns, my boots and jacket on and headed out to the surface. I got towards the north gate.

“Where’s your shadow?” It was Owen, he looked tired too. Everyone was taking extra shifts since we lost Mickey and Matt was on sick leave.

“Reno’s.” I tried to sound as non-chalant as possible, I even allowed myself a dismissive shoulder shrug. I walked to the gate, but it didn’t open.

Owen stared down at me, I think he saw past my facade. “I’ve been here all night. No Reno, no Killian. Not a single soul has come or gone from this gate.”

My very first ping of anxiety, though it wasn’t that big. Killian was probably back in his old house. At least he was in Aras so he couldn’t get into that much trouble. Either way I would find him, and I would make it up to him. No matter what he made me do.

“Alright well radio me if you see him, or anyone, got it?” Even with my razor sharp pangs of anxiety slowly slicing my insides I kept my voice straight.

Owen nodded then added. “You should put a bell on him.”
“Yeah, yeah, funny man.” I waved him off and started walking back to my area of Aras.

I passed his home, already on my second quil and took a quick look around it. The anxiety inside me grew as I saw that it had been undisturbed.

Okay so he hadn’t stayed here... I started to speed walk towards Greyson and Leo’s. With every step I felt the nervous electricity inside me grow. If I didn’t keep a check on my brain I immediately started thinking back to the god damn factory. I knew this was different, that he was inside Aras but... fuck, this was all my fault.

What had happened last night? I just remember we had fought but what it was about I didn’t know. Asher I’m assuming, or maybe just coming home wasted. I really hoped I hadn’t tried to have drunk sex with him again. Geez what if he said no... what if it was some fucked up repeat of the rough sex I was giving him when Greyson pulled me off of him. Even the faint thought of it stirred my gut like a blender.

I didn’t understand why I couldn’t remember anything. I never blacked out from being drunk, because I rarely ever drank that much. I didn’t remember taking more then two drinks when I was with Asher last night. Fuck I don’t even remember that... every time I tried to remember what had happened I just see grey haze. My memories just wisps and catches of images and sounds. Sometimes time pieced together more of the memories but for the most part they were completely gone.

That was it, no more drinking. I made that promise to myself. I’d tell Killian as soon as I saw him. I wasn’t going to lose control of myself like that anymore. It wasn’t like me to let it get this far anyways. I wouldn’t make this fucking mistake again. No matter what it did to my friendship with Asher.

My drinking with Asher had gotten a bit out of control. I think I was just having too much fun with him, and drugs and drinking had always enhanced it, but now... it was causing too many problems. If I wanted to get Killian to calm down and start feeling better about Asher I couldn’t go on these drinking binges anymore.

I had been enjoying the raticater too much. He was different kind of friend, different than all wasters I had met, and I had taken to him because of it. There was an aura about that raticater that seemed to attract me to him, like he was a magnet or something. I don’t know why, I just liked having him around. I had a good time.

I opened the door and walked into Greyson and Leo’s living room.

“Oh for fuck sakes!” I turned around and walked out, the image of what I saw forever burned into my head. It took its place with dozens of other similar images, mostly the same except they slowly got older.

Well at least they had made up fully.

“Jesus fuck, how many times do you have to walk in on us before you fucking learn to knock!” Greyson hollered, Leo was laughing.

“I’m assuming either Killian isn’t here, or I’m being left out of something,” I said, my stomach still feeling queasy. I had just done Killian on that couch two months ago. I think in the same position too.

“You don’t know where Killian is?” I heard pants being zipped up so I turned back around. At least they didn’t insist on finishing first.

“I got drunk and I’m assuming we fought because he wasn’t there when I woke up,” I said. I quickly scanned the house for any sign that they might have had guests.

“Drunk? You seem sober now,” Leo looked at me confused.

I shifted my weight. “This was last night. I only got out of bed an hour ago.”

Leo’s brow knitted, he walked over and put his hand on my forehead. I cringed, not knowing where that hand had been.“But you’ve never slept more than four hours, even when you’ve been drinking.” He kept his hand on my head. “You have a fever alright. It’s too late to be the raver bites...”
“Asher gave me some MDMA last night, I barely fucking took a bump and it screwed me up. I think it made me sleepy mixed in with the liquor,” I shrugged. “Either way I’m giving up my life of drinking... again. If you two see Killian can you radio me? If you can stop fucking on the couch long enough to grab a radio that is.”
“We will, and we’ll tell the sentries to keep an eye out, but I know he isn’t stupid enough to leave Aras,” Greyson said. “We’ll tell you if we hear anything.” I nodded and turned towards the door, walking back towards my house.

“Killian?” I checked his house again but there hadn’t been any change. I walked up a few of the more cluttered streets between our houses and started calling for him again. Every once in awhile I yelled I was sorry for good measure.

By the time I had been searching for an hour I was starting to feel the once faint tinge of anxiety grow to a steady burn. I was starting to think I might have done something awful to him.

I clenched my fists and sucked in a breath. How stupid was I? This drinking bothered Killian and I just made him deal with my drunken ass. It wasn’t fair to him and I was an idiot for putting that on him. Especially if I had picked a fight with him.

I had a lot to learn, I would do better next time. No more drinking, and perhaps I wouldn’t hang out with Asher unless he was with me. Maybe that’s all he needed, just to see what we did. Basically we just talked, watched movies and played video games.

Darkness started to fall on Aras, and with it so did my mood. I had already run up all the major roads in West Aras and some of the boarders south and east too. I couldn’t find any sign of him, nor from Carson, Doc or anyone else.

When it was dark out, I made my way to the last place I could think of. Though it was my last resort... but knowing Killian... maybe he had come to make peace?

I took off my leather glove and knocked on Asher’s door.

Chapter 43

Killian

I couldn’t believe he hadn’t heard me following him.

I had watched him walk towards the north gate, then walk back to my house. I had been perched on the roof, hiding behind the chimney when he was wandering around my yard. I had come to my old home looking for a blanket since I was planning on sleeping outside again.

Then he left and I watched him disappear back down the cul-de-sac, I climbed down and ducked into a house a block or so from the basement further west. I watched him walk past me, saying he was sorry.

I didn’t care he was sorry, I was still horrified at what he had done.

I put another knot in the bag, the one that held Perry’s head. I had wrapped his head in a sheet to deafen the smell and had put him back in the bag. I carried him everywhere, if he was with me those assholes couldn’t abuse his corpse. Even if it was just his head, it was my head. He was mine, I was suppose to take care of him... I couldn’t even let him rest in peace.

I ducked behind a building as I watched him turn down another road. He was wearing his old cloth pants, the ones Perish had given us to wear. It was odd to see him in Aras without his black cargo pants. It seemed as a part of being Reaver as his M16. At least that was still on him. Over a black t-shirt and a denim jacket to be specific. Well at least he had managed to change himself, he was a slobbering idiot last night.

I looked down at my knuckles, they were bruised. Where my fist had hit his rock hard jaw. I probably had hurt myself more than I had hurt him.

I shook out my hands and started trailing him again. I couldn’t believe I had hit him, but I had lost myself in the rage I had felt. He had said so many awful things to me. What had been wrong with him? A different person had slid down that tunnel last night, just like when he had come home wanting me to fuck him one day. That just...I had known Reaver for a long time now. Both as a resident and my boyfriend, he did not say those things and he did not act that way.

Something was wrong with him last night, I didn’t know what drugs Asher was giving him but they were changing him. Even now... Reaver should have heard me, he should have sensed me. He was carrying himself different too... he was slumped, his feet dragged just slightly. I kept passing pools of saliva where he had spat. Reaver never spat, he carried himself with an esteem he had earned. Now...

Shit
...

He turned another corner, and with that the corners of my eyes burned. It was dark now, he had been looking for me for hours but I guess he had given up. That was Asher’s road.

A choke escaped my lips and I found myself clutching that skull to my chest. The putrid and sweet smell of decay hit my nose. It smelled, it was a grisly thing, but... it comforted me. Like a stuffed animal for a child I felt safer hugging something I felt affection for. Even if was just a rotting skull.

Reaver would have never dug him up, Reaver would have never said those things to me. Something was happening to him.

I watched as Asher opened up the door. He gazed at Reaver like he had been expecting him all along. I saw the corner of his mouth raise in a cocky smile and he stepped back to let my boyfriend in. He was dressed like a whore again.

Inside I felt cold, but to my surprise I started to feel a weak flame of excitement. This would be my chance to see what was going on between them. Just what he and Asher did together. Maybe I could see where Reaver was losing control.

My hand slipped down to my voice recorder, the other one was still resting in Reaver’s cargo pants, the ones he didn’t have on. This one though was primed and ready. He wouldn’t be able to deny something was going on now.