Falling (The Falling Angels Saga) (36 page)

Okay, I was still sure Maudrina hadn’t told her, but not as sure as I was a few minutes ago. “What about Guy?” I asked, my pancaked fork still poised in mid-air.

“When my first boyfriend broke up with me, it was devastating. I cried for three straight days, but I got over it. I know it doesn’t seem possible now. But you’ll move past this, Hon.” She offered a candid smile. “He’s a jerk.”

I suppose I should have breathed a sigh of relief. But her words to me were dead on… except for the jerk part that is. It did feel like the end of the world, but I believed I would get past it—one day.

All of a sudden I was no longer in an eating mood. My funk settled back over me like a security blanket. I pushed the tray away. “Thanks for lunch.”

“Sure,” she said. A few minutes later Suze and the half-eaten meal were gone.

*

I didn’t go to school on Monday. I didn’t go on Tuesday, either. I tried. Normally school was very important to me, my AP classes, my GPA. I’m one of those students that’d have to be on her deathbed before she missed a day of school. But I kept saying to myself,
So what if I have a four point oh GPA? It won’t change anything. So what if I get into a good school? It won’t bring Guy back.
The things that were crucially important in my life before Saturday just didn’t seem that important anymore.

Tuesday at around four p.m., there was a knock on my bedroom door. It caught me off guard because I thought Suze was still at work. I was seated in the armchair. Amanda was in my lap, and I was zoning out—no music, no book, no specific thought, just zoning. “Yeah?” I droned, coming out of my stupor.

The door pushed open, and in walked Maudrina and Erin.

“Oh, my God! It smells awful in here,” said Erin.

“It’s not the room. I think it’s her,” said Maudrina, holding her nose with one hand and pointing at me with the other.

“When’s the last time you had a bath?” asked Erin. They were standing just inside my bedroom door, and despite the barrage of insults, they were grinning at me.

I gaped at them. In a game of “Which two things don’t go together?”, they’d be the hand-down champion. “What are you two—”

“We made up,” Maudrina blurted. “Go figure,” she added, and rolled her eyes.

Erin moved across the room, yanked open the drapes and flung open the window. A fall breeze drifted in, flapping the drapes. “We need to air this place out, pronto!”

“How’d you get in?” I was still staring at them, trying to make sense of the two of them together.

“Suze called,” said Maudrina, turning serious. “She’s really worried about you. I went by her job this afternoon, and she gave me a key.” And with that, Maudrina went into the bathroom. I heard the shower go on.

“Sorry about the other day,” Erin said, lowering her voice.

“What has she told you?”

“I meant sorry about what
I
did the other day. What I said. I was wrong.”

Maudrina bustled back in and moved to my dresser. “She sure was. And I told her if she ever did anything like that again, I was going to kick her ass.”

I laughed out loud.

“Don’t laugh. She means it,” said Erin, smiling.

“How’s this?” Maudrina had pulled an old top out of my middle drawer.

“That’d be perfect if we were going to a Mathlete event. But we’re going to the mall. There are
boys
at the mall.” Erin winked at me. “No offense, Maudrina, but wardrobe is my department.”

“Whatever!” piped Maudrina, again rolling her eyes.

Erin moved to my closet where I kept my special tops and began going through them.

So… You guys are friends now?” I asked, still not buying the chummy act.

“Well, we realized you needed both of us,” said Erin. She smiled over at Maudrina.

“And we both need you. So we declared a truce,” added Maudrina.

“And she’s got two of the cutest dogs. I do believe giving me the poodle is part of our deal.”

“It’s not!” said Maudrina.

I laughed again at the thought that Erin had been bowled over by Piddles and Sam just as I had been.

“What about underwear?” Maudrina asked Erin, pulling open my underwear drawer.

“I got it,” I said, getting to my feet.

“No!” said Erin, holding up her index finger in a scolding motion. “You need to wash the stink off of you. No boy’s going to come within ten feet of you the way you smell. And if no boy’s within ten feet of you, that means no boy’s within ten feet of
me
. And we can’t have that.” She pointed toward the bathroom. “Go in there and use plenty of soap and water. Your wardrobe’ll be waiting for you when you get out. Go!”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said. I was actually grinning when I left the room.
It’s probably all an act
, I told myself as I stepped into the piping hot shower.
But in time it won’t be.

At the mall, we sat in the old spot I once shared with Matt and Erin. I had a feeling it was going to be our spot now. We drank lemonade and shared an order of curly fries. They small-talked about boys and clothes and school. I mostly hung back, fringing the conversation, yet after a while, I could feel the cloud of funk that had been circling overhead for nearly a week beginning to dissipate.

“Aunt Jaz said the Satanists are afraid of you. Word of what you did to Satan is circulating through the occult community like wild fire. They won’t be bothering
you
again,” Maudrina said. I was glad to hear it. It meant it was finally time to get on with my life. “The good magic people now realize Monsieur Perez was telling the truth.”

“Oh? So they’ve asked him to be their new leader?”

Maudrina donned a big grin. “No. They asked Aunt Jaz,” she said and burst into sardonic laughter.

“Get out!”

“Can you imagine what that must’ve done to the old guy’s ego?” I joined her in laughter.

“Good,” I said. “Aunt Jaz will be a good leader.” Aunt Jaz was one of the kindest, most level-headed people I’d ever met. I couldn’t think of anyone more suited to lead her community.

“I agree. But she said ‘no.’ It would take up too much time and cut into more important things.”

“Like cooking and baking?” I asked with a knowing smile.

“Like cooking and baking,” she replied, and we all three laughed some more.

In school on Wednesday morning, I discovered Principal Lockhart had dropped the investigation against me. After what she’d witnessed on Saturday, I doubted if she’d be messing with me anymore, either. So it was true, with Satan relinquishing his hold on me, and the Satanists not wanting to rile me, I was finally, truly free. If only this freedom hadn’t come at such a high price.

As far as the Poplarati went, I was still an outcast. Ashley Scott had totally stopped talking to me, and the rest looked through me when I walked down the halls as if I weren’t there. Of course, I no longer cared. What I did care about was the coming school election. I wasn’t sure if we had enough votes to turn the tide. But I knew Tran had taken to politics like a duck to water. If he didn’t win this year, he’d be back to try again his senior year. Change doesn’t come quickly. We weren’t going to turn GU around overnight. But the seeds of change had been tossed into the wind. It was only a matter of time before the Poplarati’s iron rule over the school was broken.

Suze attempted to keep her meeting with Dagenhart that Sunday, but he never showed. Her lawyer attempted to get in contact with him, but it was as if he’d vanished from the face of the earth. After a few weeks, her lawyer told her, as far as he was concerned, the sale was final. Get on with her life.

A few weeks later, Maudrina dropped a real bomb about her boyfriend. “Curtis and I are thinking of taking an apartment together after I graduate.”

“What? What will your father say?”

“He’s definitely not going to be dancing in the streets, but he’ll get over it. I’m his little girl.” She shot me a coquettish smile that implied she had him wrapped around her little finger. “Besides, after I graduate we’ll both be going to ASU. Living together makes sense.”

“Okay.” It didn’t make sense to me. “What about getting married?”

“I’m not sure I want to marry Curtis. I love him, but… I’m not sure. Marriage isn’t for everyone, Megan.” I got the feeling this conversation was heading down a hole, and I knew when to shut up. Maudrina was the best thing in my life. We didn’t need to agree on everything. We just needed to be there for each other.

The pain in my chest eased a little each day. I suspected it might always be there, a reminder of what could have been, but in time it would become manageable.

On Saturday night, one week to the day after the wedding, when I got into my room, there was the yellow-toothed girl sitting in my armchair. Amanda was standing on the bed, her back arched, hissing at her.

“I’m afraid your cat doesn’t like me,” the girl said. She was trying to smile at me, but she kept shooting wary glances at Amanda.

“She’s a hell cat,” I said as I closed the door.

“Yes, I know.” Amanda hissed loudly at her. “Could she, perhaps … wait in another room? What I have to say won’t take long.”

“Who sent you?” I asked. “I command you to tell me the truth.”

“The Ibwa, of course.” She seemed annoyed with me. “He would have come himself, but his master is keeping close tabs on him these days.”

“So it’s true. Beelzebub didn’t destroy him.”

“No. Good servants are hard to find.” She again looked over at Amanda who continued to hiss. “Could you…” She pointed toward Amanda and then mimed her fingers walking toward the door. “Please.”

I moved to the bed where I picked up Amanda and began smoothing the hair on her back. “She’s a friend, Amanda. She’s not here to harm me.”

“Absolutely not,” the girl added.

Amanda began to relax in my arms. “Mommy needs you to wait outside. Okay?” I went to the door and placed Amanda across the threshold. She looked up at me with soulful eyes. “It’ll just be a few minutes,” I said and closed the door.

“Thank you,” the girl said, showing signs of relief.

“What’s your name?”

“What I am called is not important. What
is
  important is that you succeeded. The Ibwa said he knew you would.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but if he’s looking to get into heaven, I can’t do anything about that.”

Amanda began scratching at the door.

“We know,” the girl said, eying the door anxiously.

“We?”

“We’re both hoping for salvation. The Ibwa says ‘you help your friends and you hope for the best.’” She sighed, her eyes again moving to the door. “He wanted me to thank you for believing in him.”

“I should be thanking him. I’m glad Beelzebub didn’t destroy him. I couldn’t have gotten this far without Ibwa’s help.”

“Remember that,” she said. “If it should ever get to the point where we are standing in judgment, please remember our kindness.”

“Our?” I said.

“I
am
the one who took all the risk in getting to you. Besides, no way is the Ibwa going to heaven without me.”

I smiled. Yellow teeth was Ibwa’s girlfriend. “I won’t forget either of you,” I said.

“You won’t be seeing us again. It’s too dangerous. From now on, you’re on your own.”

“I think I can handle it from here.”

“I guess you can. You can let the hell cat back in now.”

“What about you?”

“When you turn around, I’ll be gone.”

I moved to the door and opened it. Amanda dashed into the room. Sure enough, when I turned around, the yellow-toothed girl was gone. Amanda looked up at me as if to say
I took care of that
. Then she lay down and began licking her paws.

*

As the fall semester drew to a close, a malaise settled over me, caused by the approaching winter holidays. Normally, the holidays were one of my favorite times of year, filled with holiday parties, snuggly clothes, and the delight of picking out just the right gift for friends and family. I’d had my eyes on the perfect pair of jade earrings for Suze since the summer.

Yet this year, as Christmas approached, I found myself going through the motions, pretending holiday cheer I didn’t feel. No one seemed to notice, not Maudrina, or Erin, or even my mother. In their defense, ever since Guy had departed for heaven, I’d become an expert at putting on the old game face. I found myself constantly pulling out the smiling mask none of them could see beyond.

Forever. It had once been just a word—one of millions cast about in casual conversation. Yet since Guy’s departure, I despised the word. Forever was the time I’d have to wait until I saw Guy’s sweet face again. Forever was synonymous with never.

To keep myself distracted, I created a list of “should have dones,” things I wished I’d done with Guy, things I would have done had I known my time with him was going to end so soon.

First on the list was for us to take a trip together—not far, just to Disneyland in Anaheim, or Universal Studios in Los Angeles. I could have used my savings from my summer job to pay for it all, and Guy could have driven us there. We would have had so much fun. Just the two of us.

I envisioned myself scolding him for driving too fast on the freeway. In my vision, Guy would roll his eyes and ask if I wanted to drive. I’d laugh and say, “Not if we want to get there in one piece.” I imagined us teasing each other all the way to L.A.

Number two on my list was to laugh more. Both Guy and I loved to laugh, but in those last tension-filled days before the end, there had been no laughter. Had I known what I know now, I’d have taken time out of each day to laugh with Guy. Despite all the trauma we’d been going through, I should have found more time for laughter.

The final thing on my list was to remind Guy how much I loved him. I know I told him I loved him, and he told me, yet with the presence of Orthon driving a wedge between that love, I knew I hadn’t said it enough. That weighed on me the most. “I love you”—three little words that take almost no time to say, less than a second. If only I’d said them more. It’s funny how important the little things become when the word “forever” casts its eternal shadow over your life. I vowed if I ever loved again, these little things would not go undone.