Falling (The Falling Angels Saga) (21 page)

*

After dinner I hung out with Tony and Suze for a while before heading upstairs to do homework. I knew Guy would be waiting in my bedroom. In truth, I was stalling, putting off having to confront Guy with my plan.

Suze and Tony were in a celebratory mood. A buyer who had examined the old Kinetoscope over the weekend had called that afternoon. While he told them they were asking too much on Saturday, he’d had a change of heart and decided to accept their price of fifteen hundred dollars.

“I told you all we needed to do was wait,” exclaimed Tony with a self-satisfied grin.

“I still can’t believe it,” said Suze. “I didn’t even know what it was when I found it. I just had a feeling it was something special.”

We were toasting with apple juice served in our good champagne flutes.

“I still don’t know what it is,” I said, just after we clinked glasses and took our first sips.

“It’s an early motion picture exhibition device,” said Tony. “I did the research. Before people went to see movies in theaters, they gathered in arcades that had maybe ten or twenty Kinetoscopes and watched movies, one person at a time, through a peep hole in the device.”

“It’s where the term ‘peep show’ comes from,” Suze threw in. She knew the trivia would pique my interest.

“I think we should’ve offered it for two thousand,” said Tony. “I told you he’d be back.”

“Don’t get greedy,” said Suze with a lilting laugh. I couldn’t help but notice the way she looked at Tony. Her eyes were so filled with love. “Fifteen hundred represents a huge profit for us.”

The way she was looking at Tony reminded me of my own true love. She loved him just as much as I loved Guy. Unfortunately, I was certain when I told Guy of my plan, he would not be looking at me the way Suze was looking at Tony right now.

*

“I absolutely forbid it!”

When I finally got upstairs, Guy was once again seated in the armchair, Amanda on his lap. When I told him I didn’t want him to spend the night, that I wanted Satan to enter my dreams where I could talk to him, he placed Amanda gently on the rug and got to his feet, fear and anger colliding on his face.

As I said, I wasn’t surprised.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” he squawked.

“I know you’re not calling me stupid, Guy. But it sure sounds like you are,” I raged back.

“I’m not calling
you
stupid,” he said softly, raking a hand through his dark hair. His dreamy eyes were beseeching me. “Megan, you haven’t thought this through. It’s the idea that’s stupid.”

“Why is it stupid?” I demanded.

“Okay,” he said, his chest rising with an indulgent sigh. “For starters, Satan has used your dreams to trick you into thinking you were losing control. He doesn’t come to chat with you in the night, Megan. He comes to hypnotize you into doing horrible things. What makes you think he still won’t use your sleep against you?”

Guy had made a good point. I knew he would. But it was something I’d considered. “Two things,” I said. I sat down on the edge of the bed and urged him over with my eyes. After an exasperated sigh, he came over and sat down next to me. I took both his hands in mine.

“He knows I know the truth about him. He knows you’ll be hovering nearby so there’s only so much trickery he can get away with. His plan to win me by making me think I’ve lost control has failed. He knows that. But he’s Satan. He’s arrogant. He’s going to want to look me in eye, and tell me, no matter what, he can still beat me. He’s going to want me to know that, despite the setback, I will still be his bride.”

“Without me by your side, he may be right,” Guy said, his voice practically pleading. I peered into his eyes and saw fear, real fear. I knew how he was feeling. I’d felt the same way not too long ago.

I gave both his hands a firm squeeze. I leaned in and whispered into his ear. “You’re just going to have to trust me on this, Guy. If you love me, and I know you do, you’re just going to have to trust me.”

“I gave up heaven for you,” he whispered back, his voice trembling.

I drew back just a little to again look in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I gave up my place in heaven to be with you.”

My breath caught in the back of my throat as, suddenly, I understood
everything
: the rage with Orthon on the mountain, and later, the verbal assault. The brooding over my decision to go to the conclave, the near jealous way he seemed to hover.
EVERYTHING
.

Guy had given up his place among the angels to be with me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I…” he started to speak, breathed in and out deeply, raking his hand through his hair, and started again. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated.” He looked away as soon as he completed the sentence.

“Obligated! Why would I feel obligated?” My voice was rising, his statement was so ridiculous.

“Megan! Let me finish,” he said. I took my own long breath and nodded, looking him in the eye, daring him to look away. “I’d been gone for a long time. I wanted you to wait for me, but I wasn’t sure you would.”

“And you gave up heaven without knowing?” I sounded skeptical, but I wasn’t. After my conversation in the car with Harrison, I realized how much he’d given up. He’d given up his link to heaven and the invincibility that comes with being an angel. It was a great sacrifice.

“Yes, I did. I knew I couldn’t remain in heaven. I could never again take another assignment to watch over a person. How could I watch over another human being knowing the only soul I ever wanted to watch over was yours?”

My heart began to race. My face flushed hot and I caught myself squeezing his hands tighter. “Oh, Guy,” I whispered.

“So, yes, I came back to you without knowing how you felt about me because I’d already been ruined by my love for you. I knew I couldn’t go back to serving heaven no matter how you felt about me, because of how I feel about
you
. I knew that was never going to change.” These last words were tortured, his voice dropping an octave.

“Oh, Guy,” I said again. I was feeling lightheaded. The room began to twirl. My hands started to sweat, and I loosened my grip on his.

His dreamy eyes found mine. They held me in a steady gaze that stopped the spinning. “I wanted your decision to be with me to be
your
decision. I didn’t want it to be affected by my decision to be with you. So I waited to tell you.”

There was more to it than he was saying. I could see it in his eyes, hidden in the creases in his brow. The most important part had been left unspoken, the question lingering at the forefront of his mind yet a ghost on his lips. He wanted to know if I wanted him, if I truly loved him.

“Why are you telling me this now?” I asked, my voice like sand paper against the back of my throat.

“Because I’m afraid,” he said. “More afraid than I’ve ever been in my entire existence. I’m afraid this decision to confront Satan will end badly and will doom me to spend the rest of my years walking the earth without you by my side.” He hung his head, his eyes drifting to our entwined hands. “I’m not afraid for you. I should be, but I’m not. I’m afraid for me,” he said, his voice a scant whisper.

I understood why this was so hard for him. Guy was an angel—a Guardian. Guardians weren’t supposed to be afraid, and they definitely weren’t supposed to have selfish motives. And yet as Guy moved toward mortality, he was feeling both fearful and selfish.

“I love you, Guy,” I said as sweetly as I could. His head was hanging low. I released his hands, lifted his chin and kissed him gently on the lips. “I’ve loved you from the moment you kissed me in the back of the school bus on our way home from the statewide mathlete challenge. Remember that?”

A smile appeared on his lips. He nodded and released a chuckle.

“Which is another reason why I have to do this,” I said, and his smile faded. “If you and I are ever to have a life together, I have to put this business with Satan behind me. I need to take him on one last time.”

“Nooo!” he said, hanging onto the word, turning it into a misery-filled wail. He shook his head back and forth. “You don’t have to do this alone, Megan.”

“Yes,” I said firmly. I held his face in my hands and continued looking in his eyes. “I do. Satan needs to know I’m not afraid of him. I mean… I am afraid. But he needs to
think
that I’m not. He needs to know that I will fight him every step of the way. That education begins tonight.”

Guy was staring at me, the surface of his dreamy eyes glistening. “You are the bravest person I’ve ever met.” The words struggled from his lips. He sensed I was entering a dream I might never wake up from. A tear ran down his cheek. I kissed it away.

“You do understand I have to do this?” There was a hint of remorse in my voice.

He didn’t reply. He continued staring, misty-eyed.

“It’s your love, and my mother’s love, and Maudrina’s love that give me the strength to even consider this. Have a little faith,” I said, again giving his hands a gentle squeeze. I smiled. “It’s only one night. One night alone in my bedroom. One dream. I know you’ll be hovering somewhere nearby, protecting me.”

“I can’t protect you once he enters your dreams,” he said, raising his voice in protest. There was a hollowness to his voice I’d never heard before.

The cool chill of guilt began settling over me like a frosty overcoat. He’d given up heaven for me. Could I be so reckless with his love? “I have to do this,” I said again. I tried smiling my way out if it. There was no room for negative thoughts. “What could go wrong?” I said, a petrified smile on my lips.

*

I awoke to a sound.

A gentle
click click click click

I was no longer in bed, no longer in my bedroom. I was once again in the lavish nineteen-thirties night club from the earlier dream. And I was having the strangest sensation. I was there in the club, and yet at the same time I was on the outside looking in, observing myself. I was wearing the same red sequined gown from the earlier dream. The gown was now rumpled and damp with sweat, remnants of a night of kicking up my heels.

The partying patrons, the tuxedoed gents and elegantly dressed ladies, had all departed. The night club was now empty and eerily silent.

Click click click click

Confetti was strewn across the black-and-white tiled floor. Champagne bottles, like boats set adrift, were lying amid the debris. The silver rain that once cascaded off the crystal chandeliers and glitter ball was also gone. The glitter ball was still. Light from a faulty fluorescent flickered from above the mirrored ball and chandeliers, casting a harsh hue across a room that didn’t seem so lavish anymore. In the murky light, I could see the ballroom for what it was, an old factory with a few coats of paint slapped on its cracked and decaying walls.

Click click click click

“What is that?” I mumbled, getting to my feet. They were achy and tired, and I again wondered if it was because I’d been dancing the night away. Dancing with the devil.

Click click click click

My hands began to tremble, the forefinger of my left hand twitching uncontrollably as I realized I had to go in search of that sound, knowing with a certainty that seeped into my bones, that the person or
entity
I was looking for was at the end of that sound.

There was a tiny alcove behind the bandstand. More dull light emanated from the alcove as did the sound. I realized, as much as I wanted to confront Satan, I didn’t want to confront him at all. Guy had said I was the bravest person he’d ever met. I wasn’t brave. I was a frightened little girl in a dream that I knew would soon turn into a nightmare.

Click click click click

On achy feet and with trembly hands, I moved past the bandstand. Some of the shiny brass instruments lay on chairs, and as I moved across the stage, I could see that they, too, were dull and tarnished.
It’s all an illusion
, I thought.
He wants me to know it’s an illusion. He wants me to know none of this is real.

Click click click click

With my breath stalled in my lungs, I entered the alcove. The sound was louder here, coming from a room atop a set of old wooden stairs. My heart beat faster as I thought of all the horror movies where the girl goes down the creaky old stairs into the basement. In those old flicks, there was always some horror waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
But I’m going upstairs. There are no horrors lurking upstairs.
Right.

I placed my foot on the first wooden step. As I applied my weight, it creaked loudly. I jumped back, my heart beating even faster.
No step creaks that loudly,
I thought.
He’s trying to intimidate me… and it’s working
. Before I could talk myself out of it, I placed my foot back on the step. Then, one after another, footstep after footstep, like a row of dominoes falling over, I mounted the stairs. I didn’t allow myself to think, to feel. Thinking might mean stopping. The vestige of thought that remained in my mind was a simple command:
get to the top.

Click click click CLICK

Louder as I mounted the stairs.
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about anything. Keep moving. Faster! Get to the top.
I arrived at the top of the stairs, panting. It wasn’t the run up that had taken so much out of me. It was fear.

The open doorway at the top of the stairs led to a room, a small, tidy office. I peered in and saw the man standing beside a wooden desk, his back to me, silhouette bathed in shadow.

The moment of truth. This is what I came for.

I stepped across the threshold. The old wooden floor groaned as I did. The man standing beside the desk turned, his head moving into the light. My breath caught for the second time.

“Matt!” I stammered. “Matt, what are you doing here?”

“I came for you.” He smiled. There was sweet longing in that smile.

All the breath rushed out of me. “Oh, Matt! You can’t be here. You have to go. Now!”

It was Matt who had warned me in a series of dreams about Orthon and Satan’s plan. He had done all he could to save me. I was sure Satan didn’t know what Matt had done, and I didn’t want him to find out.