Falling Stars (6 page)

The
second song started and it was a little different from the cover, but was also
better than expected. This was original material and it was, unfortunately,
good as well. I'd hoped to work the not talented enough angle, but now I would
have to make some adjustments.

"Alright,
I think we're ready, but you discussed a change to the fifth track?" Rob
announced.

"Yeah,
hold on one second, they're setting up for it now." Mia held her hand over
her squinted eyes trying to block out the blinding spotlight.

Behind
her, the stage crew pushed the drums off stage and brought in a large piano. My
interest immediately peaked and I unconsciously took a half step toward the
stage. When I realized, I pulled back hoping no one noticed.

"Thanks
guys." She smiled at the stage crew.

"No
problem, Mia," "It's our pleasure," They responded with
eagerness.

She
just bats her little eyes and they were putty in her hands.
I
want to puke.

"Okay,
I'm ready." Mia sat at the piano bench and ran her fingers across the keys
to warm up.

"Alright,
whenever you're ready to start, go for it." Rob's voice carried down from
the control booth, as if God was speaking from the heavens.

With
a flex of her fingers and a deep breath, she touched the keys. Blondie and Red
came out and leaned against the piano. Red mouthed 'you can do this' to
encourage her. She started to play a simple, sweet melody.

The
moment her eyes closed, her discomfort and nervousness visibly melted from her
face. Her voice was so powerful and the accompaniment of just the piano was
superb. I would've never guessed her voice could hit those notes or that she
could be so intimate on stage. Her words wrap around you as she sang. My feet
twitched to step forward, but I planted firmly. Shaking it all off, I stalked
backstage.

On
my way from the stage, clapping rose from onlookers and the sound booth at the
finish of her song.

"Mia
that was fantastic." Rob's voice muffled from the thick concrete walls.

Reaching
the dressing room, I threw myself into the couch.
Damn girl was screwing my
plans.

Lounging
in the dressing room, my head back on the overstuffed arm with my eyes closed, the
guys loudly burst into the room.

"She
is so hot," Jackson plopped onto the end of the couch, almost sitting on
my feet. Opening my eyes to glare at him he winked.
Bastard
.

"Damn
straight brother!" Elliott fist pounded him.

I
shook my head in irritation.

"What
are you talking about? They're all hot." Jimmy's voice carried from the
far side of the room near the dressing tables.

"True,
true" Elliott responded.

Nicholas
arrived shortly after the hormonal outbursts and began going over the details.

"Let's
head out to the stage and start stage checks." He motioned for us to exit
the room and held the door open. We pulled ourselves up and went back to the
stage.

We
passed the girl's dressing room. The door partly opened. I heard laughing and
as we got closer, Elliott and Jackson stood at the door with their mouths
covered.

"What
the hell are…?" I started.

"Shh…shut
up." Elliott hissed and motioned his head toward door with a wiggle of his
brow.

There
was some type of dance music floating out and when peeked inside I saw Blondie
and Mia singing and dancing to the song, goofing off.

Typical
ridiculous female behavior
. I shook my head.

"Move
along gentlemen." Nicholas spoke sternly and ushered us to the stage.
Stage checks went as smooth as usual and I made some changes to the lighting.

After
we finished and back at the hotel, which was closer to the Dome than our house,
the guys started making plans to go out for the night. They tried to get me to
join, as they always do, but I don't like to pull all-nighters so early in the
tour. Instead, I attempted to use the television to distract me into staying
awake for a while, but eventually my sleepless nights caught up with me.

Waking
up screaming and dripping with sweat wasn’t something new. However, when the
tremors began in my hands, I knew sleeping wasn't an option for the rest of the
night. I looked at the clock, two in the morning. Quietly I headed to the
shower, hoping it would shock my body awake.

The
hot water was comforting, but that kind of comfort only soothed my body into
wanting more sleep. Unfortunately, I knew what usually came when I slept more
than a couple of hours. If there was one solid constant in my life, it was that
the darkness would always be waiting to taunt me.

After
my shower, I walked around the suite, noticing the guys still weren't back.
That worked for me. I wouldn't have to deal with their looks later today,
pretending they didn't hear me scream myself into consciousness. Jackson always
tried to 'help', but it ended up just being a day of avoidance and
uncomfortable conversations. Grabbing my guitar and my notepad, I stepped out
onto the balcony. The cold night would help keep me awake.

About
twenty minutes later the distinct sound of stumbling and laughing of drunken
idiots made it clear they were back and trashed. I ignored them and continued
working on a song that had been stuck in my head for a week now. I heard the
door to the balcony slide open and felt a presence, but didn't look up from my
guitar.

"You
missed a kick ass time brother." Jimmy's cigarette bounced on his lips.

He
swayed toward the railing. I prayed he didn't try to lean over it in his state
of inebriation, breathing in relief when he turned and put his back against it.

"I'm
sure I did. I'm surprised you guys didn't bring back some entertainment."
I chuckled knowing the routine. We recruited some 'fans' and brought them back
for more intimate entertaining.

"Nah,
not tonight," he shrugged. "We actually hung with the girls."

My
head popped up from my notebook. "The girls?"

Had
they really skipped a night of recruitment to hang out with those girls? I
mean, had they completely lost their minds?

"Yeah
man, you know, Serena, Kat, Lane, and Mia." Jimmy took a long drag and
blew it out. The smoke mixed into the cold air. "Oh and their backup
singers, I think they were backup singers." He got a huge smile and looked
weirdly at me. "Christ, how long have you been out here? It's fucking
freezing." He shivered.

I
shrugged.
The better to keep me awake.

"It
was hilarious dude!" I hadn't heard Elliott step out on the balcony. "Mia
was cracking me the fuck up. She's hilarious."

Jimmy
chuckled with a nod before stubbing out his cigarette and heading inside.

"Screw
this man," Elliott rubbed his hands together. "It's too cold out
here." He followed Jimmy inside.

Too
distracted by a multitude of emotions I didn't want to deal with. Scrapping my
writing for the night, I headed back to my room and switched on the T.V. There
was nothing on, so I reached for the bottle of pills by my bed. With a sigh, I
popped the white lid from the brown bottle. They tasted just as bitter as
always. Lying back on my pillow and waiting for unconsciousness to take me, I
prayed it would be a dreamless state.

It
was a stupid prayer. God never answered it.

Chapter
Four

Drowning
in freezing cold water, I couldn't see anything but darkness. My name being
called as I fought to escape, but the darkness wouldn't release its unyielding
grip.

Suddenly
I woke up, jolted by another feeling of icy water. Shooting out of bed and onto
my feet, I tried to gain my bearings.

"What
the hell?" I shouted, scanning my drenched body.

"Christ,
Christopher, we've been trying to wake you for twenty minutes. I thought we
were gonna to have to call an ambulance." Jackson stood holding the room's
ice bucket in his hand.

"And
you thought this was the best way to wake me up? Fuck Jackson!" I walked
toward the bathroom for a towel and heard the rattle of the pill bottle.

"Chris,
where in the hell did you get these? If Nicholas finds these again he's going to
freak out and probably cancel the damn tour." He appeared in the bathroom
doorway. "Is that what you want, to ruin this for all of us, or are you
just hoping you succeed and kill yourself this time?"

"Fuck
you. It's none of your business." The door creaked when I slammed it in
his face.

"It
is my business. You are my brother. Not just a band brother, but my brother. I
hate what you do to yourself. You barely eat, socialize, and you don't sleep
unless you drug yourself with these damn pills you get from god knows who and –"

I
threw open the door hard enough to put a hole in the wall and to make the
hinges protested. Barreling toward him, I stripped the bottle from his hand.

"It's
none of your fucking business!"

Our
stare down seemed to go on for hours. It wasn't easy to go eye to eye with
Jackson. At nearly seven foot tall, he had four inches on me.

Eventually,
he dropped his eyes and shook his head. As he walked out of the room defeated,
he hesitated.

"What
do you think it would do to Gwen, Christopher?" and then he left.

Sitting
myself on the edge of my bed, I buried my head in my hands. Feelings of shame
and anger contorted into rage. I threw the pill bottle across the room. When it
slammed against the wall, the white pills scattered all over the floor. I stood
and went to get ready for the day still reeling with emotions I just wanted to
lock away.

We
arrived to the Dome back entrance as normal. There were cameras flashing and
fans screaming. Standing for a few photos and signing a few autographs, another
car pulled up and 'the girl band' had arrived. They climbed out of the car and
started walking in our direction.

I
locked onto Mia almost the instant she was out of the car. I felt all the
turmoil that had been swimming inside of me surface. The allure of her, the
anger at her for being here, and mostly the irritation I felt toward her, it
was all there swirling inside of me like a tornado of sentiment.

Hearing
a few fans shout for them, they stopped to sign autographs and take pictures.
Red and Mia pulled a young girl under the ropes and around security to hug her
and position her to get a picture with the entire band. Blondie and Tiny kissed
the cheeks of a guy waving to them. As I was about to turn my head I caught a
glimpse of a guy in a
The Forgotten
shirt.

He
grabbed onto her arm and wasn't letting go. She was smiling toward him, but her
eyes definitely showed her annoyance. An unusual urge to protect her from this
grabby jerk surfaced above all other emotions. I froze in place, unable to look
away but also not allowing myself to go over.

When
I thought she was going to freak out on the guy, she did the opposite. She
turned and kissed his cheek. Then he let go of her and she walked away.

Is
she fucking stupid! He could've been a crazy freak!

The
girls were about to pass us by when I heard Elliott and Jackson yell out to
them. I turned and locked eyes with Mia. I glared at her.

*
* * * *

I
want to rip his head off. First, I have to deal with a touchy feely freak fan
and then I have to deal with him giving me a look as if he wanted me dead. I
can't stand him.

"What
the hell is Christopher's problem?" Serena asked me once seated in the
dressing room.

"Hell
if I know" I sighed. "It's like he hates me, but I have no idea why."

"Well,
what are we going to do about it?" Kat smirked.

"I've
got Nair. We can always sneak into his room." Laney smiled mischievously
and wiggled her eyebrows.

"We
could slip laxatives into his food," Serena co-conspired.

"No,
no, no, I say we get him where it matters most. Let's put itching powder in all
his underwear." Kat gave an evil chuckle.

"We
are not going to do anything. I'll just continue to ignore him and he can
continue to leave me alone." I threw my head back on the couch. "He
can give me all the looks he wants."

"You're
no fun," Kat pouted.

"I
know, but I refuse to let him know he affects me. Besides I could care less
about him."

Therefore,
it wasn't the total truth. Fact is he could get under my skin, easily. It's as
if he was a professional at being an asshole and being able to affect me.

Our
first night went great and we seemed to please the crowd, which was relieving.
When
The Forgotten
took the stage, we grabbed a spot on the side stage
to watch the show.

The
crowd went ballistic when the lights went up and Christopher was in full view.
Girls screamed his name and guys hollered out. It was so loud, but the moment
the music began the noise drowned. Every person in that crowd started to sing
along with Chris.