Falling in Love With Her Husband (12 page)

you don"t mind Molly tagging along.”

“It"l be good to have a child around.”

“I"m sure you"l have your own soon.”

I chose to keep quiet.

For the rest of the visit, she continued to tell me

about her childhood, courtship with John and marriage.

***

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During the rest of the month, I gained an incredible

amount of knowledge in cooking. At first, my meals were

poor in quality but I soon improved. Todd had

complimented my poor cooking, but I thought he was glad to

eat better meals. I know I was glad to eat them.

Todd didn"t like his job, so many times he came

home depressed. He couldn"t fully enjoy his days off

because he kept thinking of Monday when he"d have to go

back. I didn"t realize that working at the bank would make

him moody. Barbara assured me that most men got that

way if they didn"t like their work. Upon hearing this, I

decided that leaving Virginia so he could farm was the best

thing for him.

In addition to our meeting with John and Barbara on

a regular basis, I enjoyed their children. I hadn"t realized

how much I loved children. In Virginia, I was surrounded by

people my own age. I did look forward to the day I would

have my own, but I also enjoyed the time Todd and I had to

ourselves to get to know each other. I was sorry I didn"t give

him a chance in Virginia. He was actually very fun to be

around, when he wasn"t upset about his job.

One warm evening in late August, I sat next to Todd

on the porch swing. I had set a nice blanket on it with a

large pillow because it looked comfortable. I enjoyed the

fact that it was the one place we could sit together and be

close. I found that I looked forward to the evenings for this

reason. Since he hadn"t initiated any physical contact since

he hugged me in the field on the day I went for a walk, I

wasn"t sure if he wanted to be close to me. But he was

probably waiting for me to be ready, and I didn"t want to rush

things. Not when Kent and Rebecca were still on my mind.

Though I"d come around to accepting what happened, it was

taking time to heal from it. In the midst of these emotions, I

did find comfort in being with Todd. I had thought I was

close to Agnes, but my friendship with Todd seemed to run

deeper than it had with her.

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We"d spend most of our time on the swing reading a

book together. Though he held a book in his hands, he

didn"t open it on this particular evening.

“Dinner was terrific,” he said, fingering the pages.

Pleased, I smiled. “At least I didn"t burn the bread.”

“You haven"t burned anything in a week.”

I raised my eyebrow at him. “Oh? Did you forget the

potato slices from last night?”

He chuckled. “Those weren"t burnt. They were

nicely browned.”

I laughed, not understanding how he could overlook

that mishap. I thought I had enough time to hang up clothes

on the clothes" line. I"d been wrong. After a moment of

silence passed, I asked, “How are things going at the bank?”

“As good as it can be. At least Mr. Richard is a good

boss.”

“That is good news. It should make working there

more bearable.”

“It does.”

I sighed. He seemed preoccupied. I wasn"t sure of

what to say.

I glanced at the front yard. Usually, our

conversations were easy, but this evening it seemed forced.

I focused on the way the strong wind shook the leaves on

the trees that formed a shelter belt around the house.

“Do you ever regret leaving Virginia?” he asked.

Turning my attention back to him, I shook my head.

“No. But I do miss my parents and Agnes.”

“I could get some time off of work around

Thanksgiving. Would you like to visit them?”

“Do we have enough money?”

“With all the overtime I work, we do.”

“Wil you come with me?”

He grinned. “Of course. I couldn"t bear to be away

from you. I can hardly stand to be gone while I"m at work.”

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I was pleased by this. I also looked forward to being

with him. Maybe that"s what happened when people got

married. They became a part of each other.

“We"d take the train,” he continued.

I nodded, returning my thoughts to the idea of going

back east. “Good because that wagon ride was long. Don"t

get me wrong. It wasn"t boring because I was with you, but I

was exhausted when we finally got here. I wouldn"t have

survived another day.”

“You would have made it. You have great strength.

I"m impressed with you. I don"t think many women could

handle the trip or getting used to living here.”

“It is an adventure. I wouldn"t trade this life for

Virginia or anywhere else. I"m happy here.”

“I like hearing that. I want you to be happy.” He

handed me the book. “I better take care of the horses for

the night.” He stood up. “I was going to stop working

overtime at the bank, but it would be nice to see your

parents in November. After that, I can work less and be

around here more. Is that alright?”

“Yes, but you don"t want to read tonight?”

“No. I"m not in the mood. Why don"t you read a

couple of chapters and tell me what happens?”

I nodded and opened the book to the marked page.

He went down the porch steps and walked around

the house so he could go to the barn.

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Todd’s Point of View

Ann and I didn"t progress as fast toward intimacy as I

would have liked but I was continually reminding myself to

be patient. I knew that until she put Kent behind her, she

wasn"t going to be able to open her heart to me, and I

wanted her to see me as a man, not as the boy she grew up

with or the friend who shared a house with her. Waiting for

her to reach this point wasn"t always easy. There were

times when I got upset and unintentionally snapped at her.

She assumed it was my work that was irritating me. That

was partly true, but my increased awareness of her physical

beauty wore on my nerves because I couldn"t do anything

about it. I was married to her, yet I wasn"t free to explore

the physical side of our relationship.

I wouldn"t tell her the truth of my irritations because I

didn"t want her to consummate our marriage because she

felt guilty or obligated to. I wanted her to want me as much

as I wanted her. I actually looked forward to going to work

at times because at least when I was at work, I was just

bored. Being bored was easier than being aroused without

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relief. I focused on my goal toward farming while I worked.

I kept a calendar in my desk where I was marking down the

days to when I could quit.

I did enjoy giving Ann money so she could buy new

foods to cook. She seemed to enjoy trying new foods, and I

liked eating them. She was quickly turning into an expert

cook. Coming home to one of her meals was the highlight

of my day. It wasn"t just her cooking I looked forward to

though. I mostly enjoyed coming home to her sweet smiles.

This was one of those situations where I wanted to be with

her and away from her at the same time.

On the third Saturday in September, I went into town

so I could do some additional bookkeeping for Mr. Richard.

Afterwards, I took out enough money I had saved aside for a

gift to buy Ann. She didn"t complain about a lack of

anything, but I knew she liked to wear pretty dresses. She

wasn"t able to buy any new dresses, and the ones from

Virginia were wearing out. They weren"t made for

housework. I found the pink dress she had worn at the

dance. She had thrown it away, but I found it and set it

aside for when I could afford to buy her a dress that was

pretty but also durable.

Since Mrs. Coley"s daughter, Daphne Rhodes,

sewed dresses and other clothing for a living, I handed her

Ann"s old pink dress and informed her that it was a little tight

on Ann because Ann did complain about it at the dance.

Daphne had a new blue and green dress ready on that

Saturday, so after work, I went by to pay her and collect the

dress. Daphne knew I wanted to keep the dress a secret,

so she never mentioned it to anyone. I wanted Ann to be

surprised by it since it was her birthday gift.

Daphne wrapped it up in a pink cloth with a pink

ribbon. I couldn"t wait to show it to Ann. Though I didn"t see

the dress, Daphne had shown me the design and I thought it

would look terrific on Ann. Of course, Ann could wear a

potato sack and still be beautiful.

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“I hope you don"t mind that I included a bonnet to

match the dress,” Daphne said as she handed me the

present.

“Thank you, Mrs. Rhodes,” I replied. I paid

her for the dress and included a tip for her thoughtfulness.

“Thank you, Mr. Brothers. You are very generous. If

you need any more dresses, I will be happy to make them

for you. Your wife is a very nice woman. I know my mother

enjoys her conversations with her.”

I was pleased to hear this so I thanked her again and

left. Ann didn"t seem to have any problems making friends.

She naturally drew people to her with her sunny personality.

As soon as I got home, I was anxious to surprise

Ann. She wasn"t in the kitchen, parlor, dining room or any of

the bedrooms. I hesitated to go to the scullery room

because that"s where we took baths in the metal tub, but my

excitement overcame my awkwardness. I noticed the

scullery room door was shut so I tapped on the door.

“Ann? Are you in there?”

“Oh, Todd! I didn"t expect you back so early.”

The sound of water splashing in the tub brought

images of her taking a bath. I hadn"t seen a woman naked

so I real y couldn"t visualize anything specific. I was

enjoying the imagery that did come to mind, however. I

pushed the thoughts aside.

“I didn"t have to work the entire day. I have a

surprise for you.”

“Real y?”

“You didn"t think I forgot your birthday, did you?”

“Wel ... I didn"t even know you knew when my

birthday was.”

“Of course, I do. I"ve been to enough birthday dinner

parties to remember.”

“I need to finish washing my hair. I"l be out in a few

minutes. Can you put the surprise in my room? I"l be there

soon.”

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Falling In Love With Her Husband

Can I help? I can wash your back.
I wanted to say

this but I didn"t. Instead, I went to her bedroom and set the

gift on her dresser. Her room was simple in its decoration

since she didn"t bring many of her things in our hurried trek

out west. Stil , there was no denying it was a woman"s

bedroom. Dresses hung in the wardrobe, the blanket she

laid out on the bed was embroidered with pink and white

carnations, and her comb, hairbrush, and two hats were

neatly set out on the dresser. I liked the smell of the room.

It reminded me of her.

To my surprise, she walked into the room in nothing

but her robe. Her hair was still wet from her bath, and for

some reason, this was even more arousing than I figured it

should have been. I shifted, hoping she wouldn"t notice my

erection.

She blinked, as if surprised. “Oh. I didn"t know you

were going to wait in here.”

“Should I leave?”
Please say no.

She seemed to consider my question. “We are

married,” she softly replied. “I suppose sooner or later, this

was bound to happen.” Then her eyes fell on the gift. “Is

that for me?” In her excitement, she forgot the awkwardness

of the situation.

I was secretly relieved. I wanted to look at her. It

was as if I was a starving man and there was a banquet

right in front of me.

She smiled widely at me. “You got me a present?”

I could only nod.

“How thoughtful of you! What is it?”

I cleared my throat and willed my breathing to go