Falling From Grace (50 page)

“I still don’t understand, Ellie.
 
What did Robert do?”

“He postponed my death, Grace.
 
I don’t know how he did it, and I thought I knew why-” she motioned to her granddaughter, who was now in the middle of what seemed like a shrimp eating contest with several bridesmaids and her new husband “-but seeing you, seeing how Robbie looks at you, I see that I was wrong.
 
He’s very taken with you, you know.”

I blushed at that.
 
It was definitely something that I could see myself being comfortable with.
 
“So he’s told me.”

“Cherish that, Grace.
 
When an angel looks at a human that way, it’s forever.
 
Angels look perfect, but they’re incomplete.”

My confusion at what she said must have amused her because she gave me a knowing smile which made her eyes twinkle with mischief.

“Now then, those can’t be the only questions you have to ask.
 
Please.
 
Ask me anything.
 
It’s the least I can do to repay Robbie for allowing me this one night,” she said sweetly, her smile no longer tinged with sadness.

I inhaled deeply, and asked her the first of what would compile the longest list of questions in the history of the world.
 
Or at least, that’s how I looked at it.
 
“What exactly are the angels’ secrets that need guarding?”

Ellie looked at me and smiled.
 
“You mean other than the fact that not only do they exist, but that they live amongst us like normal people?”

If I hadn’t known she was a human, I would have sworn she was an angelic mind reader she was so spot-on with that reply.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve already figured out one major one; the angels aren’t perfect.
 
Imagine the uproar in the church if it were to be found out that not only were angels singing in rock bands, or were standing up in front of congress, but they were also somewhat promiscuous?” she winked.

“Why?
 
Why are they like that?”
 
I leaned towards her, not wanting to miss a single word of her answer.
 
I felt like a starving child, snatching at the bread crumbs that Ellie was handing out.

She held out her hands, examining them for a moment, then reached out and held mine.
 
“Because of this.
 
Did anyone explain to you about the differences between a juvenile angel and those that have ascended?”

I racked my mind through all of the things that I had been told, by Robert, by Ameila, by Lark…two things stood out.
 
“I want to say that the juveniles don’t have wings…and haven’t received the call.”

“Yes.
 
But it is also because they cannot feel anything…physical,” and she could tell by my reaction that I was aware of that, too.
 
She continued, “Juvenile angels are such extraordinary creatures, with unbelievable strength and ability, but their one weakness is that they cannot feel joy and pleasure the way the ascended can, the way we can, and it deprives them of that emotion.
 
So, they proceed to induce that feeling by giving it to someone else-”

I nodded my head, remembering what Robert had told me about feeling his touch through my mind, as opposed to through his own skin.
 
The thought was still unsettling.

“-And that feeling can be very addictive.
 
It can be like a drug to some juveniles, male and female alike.
 
They crave it, how it makes their bodies feel, how it makes their minds suddenly free of thought.
 
The ascended, they have a purpose.
 
The juveniles, well…they don’t, other than to wait for the call.”

I didn’t know my jaw had been open until she had released one of my hands and pushed my chin up, effectively closing my mouth.
 
Was Robert one of those…addicts?
 
My eyes, which I was fairly certain were at max capacity with regards to how wide they could be, suddenly found an extra millimeter or two to open at the thought.
 
Surely he’d never tell me, because I had never asked, but was he?

“Oh Grace, I know what you’re thinking, and while Robert may have appreciated being with women and appreciated their thoughts about him, he certainly never became like some of the others,” Ellie said, patting my hand, trying to comfort me.

“How can you be so sure?” I asked, not feeling comforted at all.

She stopped the patting, and removed her hands from me, her smile gone, “Because he told me.”
 
She was offended.

Of course she would be.
 
Angels couldn’t lie.
 
If he had told her, it was the truth, and irrefutable.
 
“I’m sorry.
 
I should have remembered.”

She sighed, “I understand why you are so doubtful, Grace.
 
You grew up in a world where things like angels didn’t exist, and truth and honesty are dead virtues that belong to no one.
 
But, I do hope that you now see that neither is true.

“I don’t envy you, having to be pulled into this world without knowing anything about it, and having so much of this burden of truth be placed on your head.
 
But, I guarantee you that it will be worth it.
 
Robbie is special.
 
Even among his kind,” she said, smiling while looking past me.

I felt the gentle hand upon my shoulder and looked up into his eyes.
 
Of course they were his eyes.
 
It could only be him standing next to me, and I knew Ellie was right.
 
It will be worth it.

“How are you two beautiful ladies doing?” he asked, but only looking at me.

“Haven’t you been needling around in our heads, Robbie?” Ellie laughed, “Did you come to make sure that I didn’t chase young Grace here off, or did you come here to ask one of us to dance?”

He laughed, his eyes twinkling.
 
“Ellie, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take Grace for a spin around the floor first.”

She waved her hand as if to dismiss us.
 
“Go on, have fun!
 
I’m no good at these new dances anyway.
 
Too much oomph, not enough cha cha.”

Robert’s laugh grew louder, his perfect teeth shining bright white, his whole body shaking with his amusement.
 
“There’ll never be enough cha cha for you, Ellie.”
 
He bent down and kissed the hand that she offered to him.
 
“I shall return for a dance with the second most beautiful woman here, so please save one for me.”

I had to admit, Robert did know how to win over the ladies.
 
I could feel mine, but I was thoroughly impressed when I saw Ellie’s blush creep up her neck and slowly bloom across her cheeks.
 
It was apparent that it had been a while since someone had made her feel
—
well…like a school girl.
 
And who better to do that than someone who had known her when she
was
just a school girl?

Leading me onto the temporary dance floor that was crowded with party guests, Robert swung me out, then with a sharp tug pulled me back in, causing me to spin into a very tight embrace, one hand holding mine clasped against my heart, the other placed at the small of my back, my free hand falling naturally onto his shoulder.
 
“I know you haven’t had much fun so far this evening,” he whispered into my ear, “but I do plan on making sure that the rest of it is pleasant, if not thoroughly enjoyable.”

“Robert, it doesn’t matter what we do.
 
If I’m with you, it’s already enjoyable,” I promised.
 
I rested my head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart, and wondered what exactly was beneath the skin and bones that caused that beautiful rhythm.

It’s my heart.
 
It is the same as yours.

I shook my head.
 
No it isn’t.
 
Your heart has beat for fifteen hundred years—and will continue to beat for at least another fifteen hundred—while mine will be lucky to beat for as long as Ellie’s has.

He kissed my hair and then pressed his cheek against my head.
 
I will see to it that it beats for as long as possible.

I smiled.
 
Of course he would.
 
This is nice.

What is?

This, my first dance…our first dance.
 
I think I expected it to be awkward and clumsy, and instead it feels like I’ve been doing this for as long as you have.

I could feel his body shake slightly as he laughed.

I lifted my head from his chest, looking at his amused face.
Why are you laughing?

I think I was expecting the same thing.

My mouth opened in a mock gasp.
 
So little faith in my dancing abilities?

He smiled.
 
More like so little faith in
my
ability to cover up the fact that I had so little faith in your dancing abilities.
 
That, and I wasn’t so sure I’d be able to heal my feet.
 
You’ve got big feet; I should know, I bought the shoes you’re wearing tonight.

I laughed and then shrieked as he spun us around very quickly.
 
Stop!
 
You’re going to make me dizzy!
 
I started laughing hysterically as he spun us faster, my head falling back, my hair coming loose of its pins.

He slowed and soon, we were simply rocking in a slow, gentle motion.
 
I thought I was making you dizzy.

Giggling, I nodded my head before placing it back on his chest.
 
“I think that no matter what you were doing, you’d make me dizzy,” that last bit coming out in a breathy gasp.
 

Resting his chin on my head, he sighed.
 
I know what you mean.

I felt my hand creep up to his neck, my fingers searching for the pulse point there that would echo the beat I heard in his chest.
 
You mean you make yourself dizzy, too?

He laughed softly.
 
You silly girl.
 
I meant that you leave me feeling very dizzy, too.
 
It’s a rather odd sensation; I’m sure that I’m going to need to feel it often in order to truly understand it.

I felt his pulse quicken and that small piece of knowledge made me feel breathless indeed.

How strange.
 
It’s the opposite with me.
  
When I’m not around you
that
is when I feel breathless.
 
I liken it to being a fish, and you are my water. When I’m not around you, I feel as though I cannot breathe.
 
And you have to understand the irony in that because I’ve never in my entire existence ever needed to.

I lifted my head up off of his chest again and searched his face.
 
Confusion, amazement, and humor at what he had just revealed to me could be seen plainly.
 
What I had to search for was hidden in his eyes.
 
He looked frightened.

Robert placed his hand at the back of my head and pressed it back down to his chest, sighing wryly.
 
I am afraid.
 
I don’t understand the feeling, but it is there.
 
I have never felt it before, and it is exhilarating and strange and confusing all at the same time.
 
I have always seen fear in the minds of other people, but I have never been able to understand it because it is a foreign emotion to me, and because of that, I couldn’t actually
feel
it.
 
Does that make sense to you?

I nodded, understanding it completely.
 
He was supposed to be the epitome of empathy, and yet he couldn’t empathize with the fearful because he had never been fearful himself.
 
What did he have to be fearful of?

I don’t know.
 
So much of this is new to me.
 
I brought you into my world thinking that I’d be changing your life, when the opposite is more true; you have been changing mine in ways that time has never been able to.
 
I can read and study the world and all of its inhabitants…but you’ve made me feel things that I didn’t know I had it in me to feel.
 
It’s…strange.

I smiled.
 
I was now the normal one, the one who was used to feeling something as trivial as fear, and he was the weird one.
 
I felt his body shake once more with laughter and I sighed with contentment.

The hand that had been pressed against the back of my head lowered itself to the small of my back once again, and he pressed there, bringing me closer, embracing me in that moment of understanding.
 
I nestled my face closer to his neck, wanting to smell his skin, lose myself in the scent and feel of him as we swayed slowly to the beat of music I couldn’t hear because his voice was in my mind…and it was the only sound I ever wanted to hear again.