Falling For You (57 page)

‘Next week?’ I say faintly. How strange that sounds, how close by, when we have been waiting in the dark for so many weeks without a hint of how much longer would be left before our release from Spain. ‘Is it true?’ I wipe away the relieved tears that spring to my eyes.

‘Roberto just got off the phone from the
jefe
’—the Chief of Police, he means—’and it looks like it, Love. The embassy just rung and confirmed it, too. It looks as if they’re ready to let us go.’

I can hardly take it in.

‘No more interviews then?’ I ask slowly. ‘The Embassy, Interpol, everyone—they’ve finished? Really?’

A hundred questions, like impatient schoolchildren jostling for attention, all tumble into my mind now at once
; how, why
? Didn’t the authorities still have to speak to us some more about things? The last time I spoke to Sally, our contact at the British Embassy, she’d hinted that there was a lot of work that still needed to be done, a lot more red tape that would need to be waded through, but now suddenly, we’re free to go. 

‘They’re finished with us, Julia.’ He bends and in one sudden movement, he swoops Hadyn up, twirling him round and round. I think Hadyn is going to yell at this unexpected manhandling, and his eyes grow wide when he’s lifted up so high. But he doesn’t object. He’s flying like a bird, another one of those seagulls enjoying the whole of the blue morning sky. The breeze ruffles his curls, like golden feathers. He spreads out his arms and he
laughs
.

And we laugh, too.     

‘Roberto was able to expedite things for us, honey. It really is true. We’re going home.’

Home. Blackberry House on the outskirts of Richmond. The place where we used to live together as a family but which I left way back at the beginning of August after Hadyn was lost and Charlie and I had split up over it. That was eight months ago now. Can it really be eight months? When I left it, I never expected to return to it again, not with my family intact.

And yet, this is exactly where we’ll soon be headed.

‘It’s fantastic; the best news in the world. We’d better start thinking about how we’re going to handle things ...’ He’s right, of course. As soon as we get back, there’ll be any number of curious people, both official and unofficial, just waiting to barrage us with questions.

What happened that day that you found him
, these people will ask me again, all those same questions that I have already answered so many times before;
who said what and who went where and what did the police do and when and how did you actually get him back?
And oh, I am so tired of talking about it all.

Never mind what has passed. In a few brief days, this will all be over. All these terrible months, they will be gone. Already, my memory is becoming a haze and a blur around the events of the last year and a quarter, and I wish now I could bury them all so deep in my mind that I never had to think of them, ever again. We have Hadyn back in our custody; the authorities have accepted at last that we should be allowed to take him home.

‘We couldn’t have hoped for more, could we?’ I look at Charlie’s relieved, slightly shocked face and I know he’s barely taken it in, just like me. Good news can come as such a shock sometimes. Hadyn has been gazing at us both intently all the while, and I smile at him now. But the minute he sees me pay him any attention, he just looks away.  He is self-contained, I think. He is with us and yet ... sometimes he seems so very alone. 

‘Once we get home to England,’ Charlie squeezes my hand, ‘everything can go back to how it should have been.’

‘I hope so, Charlie.’ When I see the sadness in his face, I curse myself because I just can’t say it. Why can’t I bring myself to say what I know he’s longing to hear; that yes, of course everything will now revert to how it was before any of this horrible episode ever happened? That our lives will now go back to how they should have been.

I don’t know why. But I can’t say it. 

Charlie

‘We’ll be
fine
.’ Julia leans across the open car window, her face bright, still buzzing from the earlier news that we’re free to go.  I’ve just dropped her and Hadyn off at the market where she wanted to browse—
one last chance before we leave here,
she said, but now that we’re here, I don’t know ... The place is packed out, milling with cars and people.

‘I want to pick up something nice for when you finish your shift at the hospital tonight,’ she insists. ‘Something to celebrate our departure.’ Then she pulls a rueful face. ‘What rotten timing, eh? In all the months we’ve been here, you’ve not been asked to help out once, and now ...’

Now I’ve been requested to assist with the re-attaching of an infant’s digits following a nasty accident at her home. It’s a favour to the family. The girl is my sister-in-law’s niece.  A lack of consultants has meant a delay that might compromise her chances.  I know Julia understands.

‘Me being there to assist saves transferring the child to a facility a lot further away, honey. They were also talking about there being a chance that they couldn’t save her fingers, but I’ve seen the x-rays and it’s perfectly do-able. I suspect they knew I’d be able to do it, too.’

‘I know,’ she says. ‘Your reputation precedes you, Charlie.’ I can tell she’s both pleased and displeased by this; proud that I am so well-regarded, and at the same time a little jealous, maybe, of the attention my work sometimes requires that I must give to everyone else? 

‘Any idea what time you’ll get back from Malaga?’

‘What time?’ I shake my head, glance automatically at the clock on the dashboard. There’s a long queue on the only route out of here and I’m due at theatre in two hours—
what time am I even going to get in
?  ‘I couldn’t tell you, honey.  But whenever it is, I can’t go straight home tonight.’

‘You can’t?’ Julia smiles tentatively, hoists our son up a little higher on her hip.

Not tonight. She does that funny thing she does with her mouth when she’s trying to hide her disappointment.  I shake my head, lay my hand apologetically over hers where it rests on the window frame. 

‘No coming home early to celebrate, then?’

‘Afraid not, hon. Roberto’s asked me to meet with him after work. We’re going out on his boat.’

‘What, today?’ She’s disappointed. She lowers her face so I won’t see it, rummages in her bag for Hadyn’s beaker.  ‘Why does your brother want you to go out with him
today
?’

Good question. Today of all days, I think wearily, when the news we’ve just had would have been the perfect excuse for us to end up in each other’s arms tonight. She wants it. I want it. More than she knows, but ...

‘We won’t be here in Spain that much longer,’ I remind her gently. ‘Rob’s been hankering to take me out in his new boat ever since I got here.’ There’s a small silence while she takes that in, that I’m choosing my brother over her.  Regretfully, I shake my head, and now Julia straightens. The sunlight catches her hair, picking up hints of auburn. If the spell of good weather continues till we leave in the next few days, she’ll have a sprinkling of freckles over her nose, which I find charming but I know she hates.

‘New boat, new
house
... Roberto’s bought a lot of shiny new things in the last year and a bit, hasn’t he?’ she muses, and I see that her mood has changed. She’s cross, isn’t she? She lifts her chin a fraction. ‘That new job of his with the town council must be proving a lucrative one.’

‘If it is and he’s happy, then ... I’m happy for him, J
.’ Not just lucrative for him
, I think, remembering how hard Rob’s worked to get us out of Spain as fast as it might be done.  If he’s used his position to help us out, she shouldn’t knock it, should she?  

‘I’m grateful for what Rob’s done for us, J.  He’ll have needed to ... call in a lot of favours to help us get going out of here so soon.’

‘So
soon
?’ she says doubtfully. ‘We have been here since December.’

‘You have no idea, honey. Really.’ This is Spain. Has she forgotten we are not in England, that things take a little longer here? That they take, in fact, as long as they take. And if you kick up a fuss, you’re more likely to get slapped down and sent to the back of the queue?  

‘These matters are delicate, and Roberto’s had to stick his neck out for us. He’s done everything he could and I am grateful for the goodwill he’s shown. You should be grateful, too.’

‘Everything
is
all right isn’t it?’ She scans my face now. ‘I mean, there’s nothing ...’

‘Everything’s just fine, J.’ I hide a frown now.  Roberto hinted at something earlier. Just hinted at it, but in my taciturn brother’s books, that’s almost as good as a full-blown confession.
We’ll meet up later. I’d like to hear how the op went, and ... there’s another matter. A little something that we need to speak about. In private.

‘Well,’ she concedes. ‘Okay.’ She squashes up a little nearer to my car as another vehicle squeezes past us. She shouldn’t stand holding Hadyn there for too long. There’s not much margin for error in these narrow streets. Too many people and motorcycles.  There’s a second’s hesitation before she adds, ‘Do I take it that means you won’t be coming along to Lourdes’s son’s birthday party that we’ve all been invited to this evening?’

I blink.

A motorcyclist weaving his way in and out of the traffic zips right past her and my son now. He comes so close that I can smell the scent of his aftershave. He comes so close, he nearly knocks my boy right out of his mother’s arms, and when the sunlight catches his mirror it momentarily dazzles me. I curse him loudly, beeping the horn, and he looks back, wobbling but unperturbed. I take in a breath and then I turn to Julia.   

‘No,’ I tell her quietly. ‘I will not be going to Lourdes’ house for Antonio’s party.’

‘You’re not?’

There is another moment’s silence while she processes this.

‘If you’re not coming, then I guess it means that Hadyn and I won’t have to go either?’ Her face is neutral. I have no way of knowing whether this means anything to her or not. ‘She’s ... she’s probably expecting you,’ Julia points out now a little stiffly. ‘I can’t see that your ex-fiancée will be all that happy if just me and Hadyn roll up.’ She’s right, but I’m not going to fall into that one.

‘She’ll be perfectly delighted to see you both,’ I tell her. ‘It’s a child’s party, so why wouldn’t she be? Besides ...’

Her eyebrows go up questioningly.
Besides, what
?   

‘Lourdes will be expecting you,’ I finish limply.

‘Lourdes will be expecting
you
,’ she corrects. 

‘Well, she isn’t getting me, is she?’ I give Julia a direct look and she stares at me thoughtfully for a while before breaking into a slow smile.

‘No,’ she says. ‘So ... when might
we
be expected to get you back?’

I pull an apologetic face. 

‘Rob has made plans for us to go out fishing,’ I tell her.

‘Fishing? That takes
hours.
’ The disappointment in her voice is palpable. ‘What are you hoping to catch?’

‘My brother in a good mood,’ I admit.

‘Why?’ she wants to know now. The man with the parrots has set up his stall just on the pavement behind me; I can see him in my rear-view mirror. I can see Hadyn’s legs kicking a little; he wants to be let down now. He wants to go look at those parrots and there’s a big delivery truck about to come up alongside us on the road. He’s not going to be able to get by, is he?    

‘Roberto in a good mood is always an asset, sweetie.’ I hesitate. How much to fill her in on? The truth is, I don’t want to go out on Roberto’s bloody boat. I hate boats. 
Look
, my brother had said to me when I’d tried to get out of it;
say nothing to Julia. And I don’t want you to worry. We have to speak, okay? You come out on the boat with me later, where we’ll be away from all the women, and we’ll speak.

Speak about what? I’d pressed him on it, but Rob’s not one to be easily drawn. He never says much over the phone and I’d consoled myself with that thought, but his words had shot little bullet holes of doubt into my peace of mind. I knew that much.

‘My brother’s been asking me to take this trip with him since I got here,’ I return to Julia now. She’s heard him ask me a dozen times, she must have.

‘And as we hopefully won’t be in Spain for too much longer ...’ I glance apologetically at the truck driver stuck behind us in my mirror and he pulls a comradely face;
women .
.. he mouths at me.    

‘Hopefully?’ Julia queries my choice of words. Because that’s what women do. They pick up on everything.

That’s also why I won’t be at Lourdes’ party later on. Frankly, it’s the last place I want to go right now.

I spread my hands.

‘Hopefully. Nothing is ever certain in this life, is it?’ I smile at her, feeling a sudden sadness, but the clock on the dashboard has moved on too far, too fast. I’ve got less than two hours before the pre-op briefing at Malaga hospital and the day is streaming out of my hands.

I indicate behind us with my head, and she sees the truck driver at last. He gives her an appreciative whistle as he streams slowly past us. He winks at me and says something in Spanish that I hope she doesn’t get.  There’s a lot of things about my mother’s native country that Julia doesn’t get; the fact that Antonio’s party is something she will certainly be expected to attend, whether with or without me, is just one of them.

Exactly how my brother has wangled it to get us out of Spain as quickly as he has done is another one.