Falling for the Ghost of You (21 page)

“Oh, no…I mean…”  I trail off and stare at him suspiciously.  “Wait, what did you say about the senior thing?”

“Yeah, it’s only for seniors, but—”

“Well, you two look like you’re having a good time!”

A beaming blonde-haired woman descends on us, patting Cute Boy on the back.  She’s got that soccer mom look about her, and I don’t like the way she’s eyeing me with that speculative gleam in her eye.

“Oh, yeah, Mom,” Cute Boy says eagerly.  “Guess what?  Violet’s going to the dance with me!”

“Oh,
Jakey
!” she exclaims so, so loudly.  “You’re going to your first freshman dance, and with an older woman!”

Freshman?!

I have lost the ability to blink.  I look closely at
Jakey
for the first time.  Smooth tender skin with no hint of facial hair, faint pockmarks from what I assume is a recent bout of forehead acne…awkward, puppy dog look, overall…

Oh.

“Violet,” Mom calls from her seat at the head of the table.  “Did I hear right?  You’re going to a school dance?”

“With
Jakey
!”  Soccer Mom announces proudly.  “It’s his first dance—isn’t that sweet.  And I’m sure he’ll score major cool points showing up with a hot babe like Violet!”

“Mom,”
Jakey
groans, embarrassed.

Don’t do it, Violet.  Don’t look over at Zane.  Don’t…

I do.

Our eyes meet.  His dark brown eyes are shiny with held-in laughter.  He raises his eyebrows at me like, "Really, Violet?" 

I'm being punished, right?  That must be it.  This is what I get for being a silly jealous girl.

Cheeks flaming, I refuse to look up for the rest of the meal. 
Jakey
acts as if we're dating and slings a possessive arm along the top of my chair.

Meanwhile, Jenna decides to pepper me with questions: where do I work, what school do I go to, what do I like to do for fun, etc.  On the o
ther hand, she seems to
know an awful lot about me already.   She is genuinely interested, and I find myself wanting to know about her, too.

"Zane and I go way back," Jenna says, poking his arm.  He smiles, but doesn't say anything.  "He was always the hottest guy in school, and I was just the dumpy girl who hung out with him. 
And now look at him, a—
"

"Pain in the ass," Zane interjects smoothly.  "I'm sure Violet would agree."

"I do, and you are," I say coolly.

Jenna laughs, pushing her her long hair behind one ear.  "That's right, you tell him.  This guy here is used to getting everything he wants."

"Well, not everything."  Zane's intense gaze settles on me.  "Not yet."

We stare at each other for endless seconds.  Why does being n
ear him have to feel like this—a
combination of crushing pleasure and soaring pain?  The intensity of my feelings for him scare me, and the way he's looking at me now...
it’s
like he's reading my thoughts.

A hand on my thigh breaks my Zane-induced trance.

I glare at
Jakey
and shove his hand off of me.  He gives me a giant gap-toothed smile in return.  I ignore him.

"So, Jenna," I say.  "Do you live in L.A.?"

"No, I'm actually in town town for a few days to visit friends, then it's back to good ol' NYU.  Although, I may consider moving back if I get to hang out in Zane's
Jacuzzi
all night like we've been doing."

She smiles up at him, and I throw up a little.

What?!

Throwing off
Jakey's
wandering hand again, I ask in a choked voice, "You're staying with Zane?"  I don't even look his way.

"Yeah.  He's the best!  You would be so jealous if you knew how soft his bed is."

His
bed
?  Oh, God.

I can feel the blood drain from my face.  I finally look at Zane, unable to speak, move.

He sees my stricken expression, and his eyes widen.  "Jen.  You're giving Violet the wrong impression."

"Huh?"  Jenna frowns, and turns to me.  She appears to mentally replay her words.  Finally, she gasps.  "Oh, no, it's not what it sounds like!  I meant his
guest
bed!  I'm sorry!  It's not like that with us.  It's never been."

I don't know what to think or say, so I don't say anything.  There's a good chance I might burst into tears.  Numbly, I remove
Jakey's
hand from my knee.

"Violet," Zane says softly, serious.  "We're just friends, I promise you."

"Yeah," Jenna joins.  Her big green eyes suddenly sparkle.  "Besides, I happen to know for a fact that Zane, here, is stupid craz
y over some hot chick whose
name
is
like a flower."

Startled, I stare at Zane.  A cautious hope blooms in  the vicinity of my chest.

He stares down at the table, shaking his head slightly.  "Thank you, Jenna.  When do you go home again?"

She just laughs.  "Oh, lighten up, Zane.  I'm doing you a favor.  Seriously, though, you two so need to have a conversation."

I smile weakly at her.  "If we don't kill each other first."

"Yeah, he tends to have that effect on people."

"Really over-staying your welcome here."

"Hey," Jenna says.  "You were the one who wanted me to meet her."

"Yeah, that was a stupid idea."  Zane suddenly leans across the table.  "Touch her one more time, and I'll break your arm."

At first, I'm shocked becau
se I think he's talking to me—b
ut then I feel a hand slowly wither away from my leg.

Jakey's
eyes are wide and panicked as he gulps at the dark violence in Zane's face.

Whoa.  Maybe trying to make him jealous is not a good idea after all.

By the end of dinner,
Jakey
whispers in my ear that he can't see me anymore, and promptly un
-
invites me from the dance.  Then, making sure Zane's not watching, he asks if he can take a picture of me with his phone.  I pose with the dorkiest open-mouthed grin I can manage.

He still takes my picture! 

Well, I don't think he was pointing the lens at my face.  Yuck.

Right after dinner, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom.  I think my period just started (it's early!) and I'm right.  Ugh.

After I get cleaned up, I go back down, determined to find Zane and apologize.  It still burns me to think of other girls throwing themselves at him, but I suppose it's unrealistic of me to expect him to push them away with a "blah!"

I run into Mom downstairs.  Right away she asks me if I'm really dating a freshman.

I roll my eyes.  "No, that was a
huge
misunderstanding."

She looks relieved.  "Oh, thank goodness.  I was starting to wonder if you were getting desperate.  Because Barbara's kid is a little punk, and you can do so much better."

I have to laugh at her serious tone.  "Thanks, Lily."

"You're welcome, child.  And call me mom.  Oh, could you do me a favor and start a pot of coffee?"

"Anything for you, Mother, dear."

She pats my cheek and thanks me.  I walk slowly to the kitchen, hoping to run into Zane, but no such luck. 

I still don't know what to think about Jenna.  How come I didn’t know about her, but she knows all about me?  And do I even have a right to be pissed about her staying with him?  I think about
texting Lauren for advice, but Lauren’s never been in a relationship before, so it would kind of be like the blind leading the blind.  Maybe I could ask Kim?  She’s certainly had a lot of experience with relationships, having been in dozens herself.

Or maybe I should post an anonymous question on the internet.  Hm.  I ponder my choices as I fire up the coffee maker.  Matt was friends with lots of other girls, and I never cared—until he cheated on me, that is.  But with Matt, I never felt that connection—or heart-stopping attraction—that I do with Zane.  He really just does…what’s that on the ground?

I kneel down to examine the shiny little object stuck to the tile.  Looks like a rhinestone.  I wonder how it got here, and who it belongs to.

While I'm wondering these things, I hear the door open.  The sound of Jenna's laughter freezes me to the spot, and raises my hackles.

"No way in hell," Zane is saying.  "But they're still all over me about it."

I hear a thump on the counter above me.  They're standing right on the other side. I plaster myself against a cabinet, praying they won't come around.

"Aw, poor baby!  Must be hard to be a wanted man.  So you're definitely turning it down?"

"Yeah."

"So no career change for you after all, huh?"

Career change?  Zane never mentioned anything about that to me.  I listen closely, jealous of Jenna's
insider
knowledge.

"So, I can't believe you haven't told her," Jenna is saying.  My ears prick up.  "Dude, that's so not good."

Told who?  Me?

Zane seems to sigh.  "It's complicated.  I know what I'm doing."

She makes a tsking noise.  "If you say so.  But she's going to find out eventually."

There is a pause where I picture Zane running his hands through his hair.  "I'll deal with it," he says shortly.  "Come on, let's go find Violet."

I hold my breath as I listen to their footsteps walk away.  When I hear the door swing shut, I breathe a sigh of relief.

I sink to the floor, back against the counter.  Okay, so what was that about?  Was it about me?  If not, then who?  Either way, Zane's keeping something from me.  What?  And what do I do about it?  No way am I going to admit I was listening.

My heart sinks as I absorb everything.  I can't trust him, no matter how badly I want to.

The sounds of people entering the kitchen snap me out of my thoughts.  Before I can react,
creepy moaning noises and breathless giggles erupt from the other side of my counter.

"Oh, Grant," a familiar voice sighs.

I pop up suddenly, unable to believe my ears.  Guess what I see?  Jane, locked in the embrace of a balding middle aged man whom I'm pretty sure is married.

"Jane!" I gasp.

They both scream a little and break apart, wide-eyed.

"Violet!" Jane gasps, holding a hand against her heart.

"I thought you were a lesbian," I blurt out.

"It's not what it—w
hat?  Why would you think I'm a lesbian?"

"Oh..."  I shrug.  "Never mind.  I should go."

I make a run for it.  The things you find out when you hang out on the floor!

******

Chapter 21

I find Zane and Jenna saying their thank yous and goodbyes to Mom.  I try to catch Zane's eye, but Jenna ends up pulling me to the side.

"Violet," she says with a smile.  "I'm glad I finally got to meet you.  I hope we can hang out more next time I'm in town."

I hesitate
,
staring into her gorgeous green eyes.  "Yeah, that'd be...weird."

She bursts out laughing.  "Kinda, huh?"

"Sorry.  It's just that Zane never mentioned you, or said he had anybody staying with him.  I've neve
r even been to his house in L.A,
"
I mumble in an agitated burst of words.

"Oh, no, I totally get it," Jenna reassures, me patting my arm.  "I just kind of showed up on his doorstep one night, you know?  It's a long story.  Anyway,
I just wanted to let you know—Z
ane and I are just
friends
.  You have absolutely nothing to worry about with me."

"Oh, well...thanks."

"Now, I'm n
ot gonna lie and say that if h
e ever wanted something more, I wouldn't jump at the chance."  She laughs and rolls her eyes.  "But once Zane places you in the 'friend zone' you're there for life."

"Actually," I say.  "He and I started out as friends."

Jenna just grins.  "Believe me, Violet, I happen to know for a fact that you were never in danger of being put in the  'friend zone.'  That was just Zane trying to be a gentleman for once in his life."

I think about that night in the pool, and I can't help but blush.  "Really," I murmur.  "Tell me more."

"Oh, no you don't."  Jenna wags a finger at me.  "But I will say this."

She casts a look over her shoulder to make sure Zane is still busy with Mom.  Then she leans close, conspiratorial.

"Zane's been with a
lot
of women, you know?  A
lot
.   Like, he can literally get any chick he wan
ts.  Like super models, and—
"