Falling for Jillian (5 page)

“What’s wrong?” I ask. “Has something happened to Cara? Or Josh?”

“No.” He shakes his head and comes to a stop a few feet away from me. “Everyone’s fine.”

“Then why are you here?” I ask, confused.

He sighs and scrubs his fingers through his hair, then props his hands on his hips and hangs his head. “I just needed to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

He doesn’t answer, and it all starts to make sense.

“Zack, why wouldn’t I be okay?” I ask again and cross my arms over my chest.

“I told you, Max has a history of being a womanizer.”

“Max has always been a friend of yours,” I remind him. “He’s a good guy.”

He rubs his fingers over his mouth the way he does when he’s agitated and shrugs again. “I’m just making sure you’re okay.”

“Let me get this straight. You drove all the way into town and sat in your truck, waiting for me to finish dinner, just to make sure I’m okay? Do you know how ridiculous you sound?”

“I’m ridiculous because I want to make sure you’re safe?”

“Zack, what do you care who I date? You don’t want me, remember?”

His mouth drops and his face pales before his eyes narrow. He steps forward and pushes his nose close to mine and I can smell the earthy, clean scent of him.

“I wasn’t the one who got on a plane and left the fucking state the next day, Jillian. I never said I didn’t want you.”

“I woke up and you were gone!”

“I had to check on my son!” he yells back.

“Well, you should have woke me up or left me a note! I’m not a fucking mind reader.” I shake my head and back away. I can’t believe this. He wants me? “You’ve avoided me like the plague!”

“When a woman flees the fucking state after I’ve had the best sex of my life with her, I take that to mean she’s not interested.”

I’m struck dumb.

Best sex of his life?

“You wanted to see me again?” I ask in a small voice. “I thought it was a one-night stand.”

He grips my shoulders in his hands and yanks me against his hard chest and covers my lips with his. This is no soft, seductive kiss. It’s hard and possessive. Hungry. He growls as his arms loop around me and pulls me closer to him. I open up to him, allowing him inside my mouth to dance and plunder, to take control.

God, I missed the way this man kisses.

I lose all sense of place and time. I don’t give a shit that every person in the restaurant is watching us right now. Or that we’re out in the cold in the middle of winter. All I care about is having his arms around me, his mouth on me, and hearing the moans of pleasure coming from his throat.

Finally, he breaks the kiss and pulls away. We’re both panting, our breath coming in clouds in the cool winter night, watching each other with hungry eyes.

He blinks and turns to open my car door for me, waits for me to climb inside, and then, without another word, walks around to his own truck. He follows me all the way to my driveway, and I’m sure he’s going to come inside and finish what he started with that hot-as-hell kiss.

But when I climb out of my car, he doesn’t make a move to follow. I walk back to his truck and wait for him to roll down his window.

“Are you coming in?” I ask.

His jaw ticks and his lips are pulled into a thin line. Finally, he shakes his head stiffly and mutters, “No. I just wanted to make sure you got home okay.”

I frown and back away from his door, embarrassment coloring my cheeks.

“Well, I’m home. See you.” Without another word, I turn my back on him and stomp up to my door, unlock it, and push inside, closing the door behind me.

What in the name of all that’s holy just happened?

I would have invited him in without another thought to finish what he started in the parking lot. God, is this what I’ve been reduced to? Taking any scraps Zack decides to throw my way?

When did I become this woman?

I scrub the tears from my cheeks and march back to my bedroom to change, wash my face, and pull my hair back in a ponytail.

Who the hell does Zack King think he is anyway?

Just as I sit on the couch with my laptop to start researching houses for Max, my phone pings with a text from Zack.

I delete it without reading it.

Screw him and his hot kisses and his sexy body. I don’t need a man who thinks it’s fun to play with my emotions.

I don’t need a man, period.

Oh God, I’ve become a man-hater.

No, I’m not. I love men. I love Ty and Josh. I’m even quite fond of Seth.

But Seth’s dad can suck it.

Deciding that it’s probably best if I’m not alone for the next few hours, and not wanting to drive out to the ranch to hang out with Cara, I text my brother.

Me:
Make sure you’re dressed. I’m coming over.

I grab my purse and hit the remote start on my new car—damn, I love that car—just as Ty texts back.

Ty:
We’re dressed. Come on over.

My car handles like a dream on the slick roads across town to the house Ty now shares with Lauren. Her great-grandfather was one of the founding fathers of Cunningham Falls, and the house they live in was passed down to her by her parents, who died a few years ago. The house is the biggest in town, a colonial-style white home with a circular driveway and beautiful gardens.

Cunningham Falls is gorgeous in winter. Not only because of the snow that covers everything, making it look clean and fresh, but also because of the lovely holiday decorations that have been hung every year the weekend after Thanksgiving for more than fifty years.

Big, red bells and fresh evergreen garlands are strung above the streets, along the streetlights. White lights twinkle through the branches. Snowflakes and snowmen made of white lights are hung on the telephone poles.

Thanks to the snowfall last night, everything is blanketed in the white powder, making our little town look like something out of a Dickens novel.

As I pull into the driveway, I see that white Christmas lights are hanging on the house.

I guess I should put mine up this week too.

“Nice car,” Ty calls as he jogs down the front steps.

“Thanks.” I grin proudly. “I bought it today.”

“You went alone?” He frowns as he opens the passenger door and slips inside, checking it out.

“No, Zack went with me.”

His head whips up and he stares at me in surprise.

“Something going on there, Jill?”

“No.” I shake my head, turn my back on him, and climb the steps of the porch. “He’s just a friend. The lights look nice.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I like the plain white. I think I’ll do white rather than multicolored on my house too.”

“I’m not talking about the fucking lights, princess.”

I chuckle and turn back around to face my brother. He’s tall and tattooed and the best lawyer this city has ever seen.

He’s also always been my protector, in every way, and I’d do anything for him.

“Zack is my friend, Ty. Where’s Lo?”

“She’s working. Have you eaten?”

“Yeah, I had dinner with Max Hull.”

Ty ushers me inside and leads me past Lauren’s closed office door to the family room off the kitchen. There’s a fire in the gas fireplace.

“I didn’t know Max was in town.”

I explain to Ty about Max running into my car yesterday—was it just yesterday?—and how we came to have dinner tonight.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“It was nothing. Barely a dent. If I hadn’t traded the car in today, I would have just had you knock the dent out. No biggie.”

He nods and hands me a glass of white wine, then sits with me and braces one ankle on the opposite knee. “What’s on your mind, Jill?”

“Do all men hurt women?” I blurt, then swiftly cover my mouth with my hand, mortified that the words escaped. “Forget that.”

“Oh, hell no, I’m not forgetting that.” He sits on the edge of the couch and sets his wine aside, watching me carefully. “What’s going on?”

“Seriously, I don’t know where that came from.”
God, I’m so embarrassed.
I rub my hands up and down my denim-covered thighs nervously. “Of course not all men hurt women. You’d never hurt Lo.”

“I think it’s time we talked, Jilly.” Ty sits back again, but every muscle is tight and I can see it’s taking every ounce of patience he possesses to not shake me until I spill the beans.

“About?”

“What happened in LA. Why you moved home so quickly. Why in the name of God you’d ask me if all men hurt women.” He stares at me with sad eyes. “Talk to me, princess.”

I glance toward Lo’s office uncertainly.

“She’s in the zone. She won’t be out for a while. I promise.”

I take a deep breath and scrub my hands over my face and then decide
fuck it.
I need to talk.

“Dad hurt Mom, Ty, you know that.”

He winces. “I’m sorry, Jill . . .”

“Stop that right now. It wasn’t your fault. You and I both know this, and you need to stop with the guilt. It pisses me off.” He glares at me but I continue. “He was a son of a bitch. He just had no respect at all for women. Not at all.” I stand and pace the length of the family room. Now that the floodgates have opened, there’s no reeling it in. “So, one would think, as an intelligent woman, I would be more careful about who I chose to marry.”

“Are you telling me that Todd laid his hands on you?” Ty asks deceptively calmly.

“No.” I wave him off. “I would have been out the door the second he raised his fist. No, Todd liked to fuck other women behind my back.” I smirk and turn to look at my brother, who now has his mouth dropped in surprise. “I caught him red-handed. In my bed.”

“Oh my God, Jill . . .”

“And of course,” I interrupt, “it was all my fault. I couldn’t get pregnant, so I only wanted to have sex when I was ovulating. I was moody from the drugs. I was a shitty wife.”

Ty sputters and shoves to his feet, but I smirk. “No, he’s probably right. But I’m not going to pretend that when I heard right before the Fourth of July that the new wife—the one he’d been banging in my bed—was pregnant that it didn’t hurt me. ’Cause it fucking ripped my heart out.”

Before I can say more, Ty’s phone rings. He checks the caller ID, then mutes the sound and sets the phone aside. “That’s Mom.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I need. More shit from my past brought up tonight.”

“She’s not calling you.”

“She will. Eventually.”

“She’d like to talk to you.”

“It will be a cold day in hell before I’ll sit down and have a nice chat with that woman. She allowed both of us to be terrorized and abused for years. It was
her job
to keep us safe. I don’t respect her as a mother or as a woman.” My chest is heaving now with anger and indignation. “And, you know, maybe it was a good thing that I couldn’t get pregnant. I come from that. What kind of a mother could I possibly be? Todd reminded me of that as I stormed out of the house and told him to go fuck himself.”

“I’d like to set this aside for now, because I’m going to find Todd and kill him with my bare hands.” Ty clears his throat and swallows hard. “Why today? What happened?”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, pulling my mind back to the reason I’m here.

“What is it about me that makes men think it’s okay to walk all over me?”

“Did Zack . . .”

“Zack either likes to play mind games, or he doesn’t know what the fuck he wants, but either way, I’m not interested in dealing with it.”

Ty sighs and rubs his hands over his face.

“You’re in love with him.”

“Hell no. He’s a hot piece of ass, Ty. He’s never let me get close enough to him to see if he’s someone I could fall in love with.”

“My guess would be that you haven’t let him get close either, Jill.”

I stop pacing and turn to stare at my brother and think back on the past few months.

“I’ve seen you. You brush him off, laugh at him, or just avoid him altogether.”

I shrug and look down at the floor. “So maybe neither of us knows what in the hell we’re doing.”

“You’ve both had a rough year.”

I nod and cringe. “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’ll never work with Zack. He just hit a nerve tonight, and I needed to vent.”

“Do I have to kick his ass?” Ty asks with a hopeful grin.

“He’s taller than you and outweighs you by a good twenty-five pounds.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

My spine tingles at the edge in his voice, but I laugh and shake my head. “No.”

“Damn.”

“Hey, Jill. I didn’t know you were here,” Lauren says as she comes into the room. She sits next to Ty, kisses his cheek, and grins over at me. “What are you up to?”

“Just thought I’d come over and raid your fridge,
watch some TV. Basically be a freeloader for the night.”

Ty winks at me as Lo laughs.

“Good idea. Let’s see if we have ice cream.” Lo takes my hand in hers and leads me into the kitchen.

This is what I needed. A night with my family, where I don’t have to guard my feelings and my heart.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, but I have a feeling it’s Zack, so I ignore it and settle in to enjoy two of my favorite people in the world.

I always take Friday afternoons off, usually because I inevitably have to show houses on the weekends, so taking a few extra hours on a Friday afternoon for just me is important. So far, I don’t even have any properties to show this weekend either. Though bad for business, it’s not uncommon to be slow in the winter in Montana.

No one wants to move during a blizzard.

Looking forward to a relaxing weekend at home, I bundle up in my winter gear and carry a red plastic tote full of Christmas lights outside and set them on the porch, then trudge through the now-crunchy snow to the shed at the side of the house to dig out a ladder.

I could hire someone to come do this for me. I’m sure there’s a high school kid around who could use
an extra fifty bucks, but I like decorating and taking care of my little home. I’m thankful that Cara offered it to me when she moved in with Josh last summer. I’ll eventually buy my own place, but in the meantime, this is home.