Falling for Hadie (14 page)

That was why I was going to go to the bonfire tonight and have a good time. Without Lincoln.

“Oh my God! I don’t care about that as long as you go with me!” She shrieked into the phone so loud that I had to hold it away from my ear. Mariah was the definition of the word overreaction. “You need to get funky with it and have some fun!”

I rolled my eyes as I relaxed onto my bed and gazed up at the off-white ceiling. “Ray, I’m not going to be getting
funky
with anything. And what is that even supposed to mean?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she said mysteriously. “So, Lana, did you ask Estee if she can make it?”

Lana sighed. “I don’t think so. You know what her dad and brother are like. She said they’ll have a seizure if she stays out late. Besides, she said she has some volunteer work to do tomorrow so she’s going to bed early.”

“Estee is such a saint. I think my parents want to adopt her,” Mariah said, airily.

“Well, from the way things are at home, I think she would actually take your parents up on that offer, even if she did have to put up with you.” Lana’s voice was melancholy and I knew she wasn’t trying to spoil the mood, just stating a fact.

Estella had a pretty tough family situation. Her dad was an alcoholic with a gambling problem. He had gambled away what little savings the family had had, causing Mrs. Markson to leave her husband and her three kids and get out of Statlen. No one had seen her in five years and the Markson’s home life had kind of deteriorated since then.

Estella had an older brother, Nathan, who was in his first year at Statlen University, and a younger sister, Savannah, who was a junior. Considering the crappy family life the Markson kids had, they’d all managed to turn out alright. Nathan was a little too overprotective of Estella though, just like their dad was. He didn’t like Estella dating or staying out too late, which was weird because they weren’t as strict on Savannah. Maybe it was because Estella was the one who cooked and cleaned and took care of everyone. She held that family together like super glue.

And our parents loved her. Everyone loved her.

Mariah laughed awkwardly, because it was still hard for us to think about Estella’s personal situation, and promptly changed the subject. “So, I’ll pick you up at eight, Hadie?”

I glanced at my bedside clock and saw that it read 7:17 P.M. That should be enough time to make myself look somewhat decent. “Yeah, eight is fine. Lana, what should I wear?”

If you needed fashion advice, Lana was the one to go to. We didn’t have the best clothing stores in Statlen, but Lana got most of her stuff online and I was forever envious of her wardrobe. Still, I had a few things in my wardrobe that I prized, like my coats. I loved collecting coats.

“Well, based on the fall weather, I would suggest you dress so you’re warm, but look sexy.”

“Why couldn’t we just have a bonfire?” I wondered, mentally going through my wardrobe to try and figure out if I had anything that could be classified as “warm, but sexy”.

“Because it’s too close to town and the police would’ve broken it up in five minutes flat. You must make great sacrifices to have fun.”

Mariah said it so seriously that I couldn’t help but laugh. “And what exactly are you going to wear?”

“A short, black dress.”

“How is that warm?” I asked.

“Sacrifices, Hadie, sacrifices,” Mariah said, as if that somehow explained everything.

We got off the phone a couple minutes later and I went over to the mirror and studied my reflection in it. I looked like a complete troll. My hair was messier than usual and I looked like one of those crazy ladies who had twenty cats, smelled like Spam, and wore six layers of clothing, even in summer.

I definitely lacked a social life. But I had a good reason for that. My books were my social life; the characters in them were my friends. I laughed with them and cried with them. And had crushes on them and talked to them too.

I made a face at myself in in the mirror. Wow, I sounded tragically pathetic. I really did need to get out of the house and do normal teenager stuff.

Walking over to my wardrobe, I opened it up to view the assortment of clothes that were hanging inside. Everything was color-coded and organized in an orderly fashion just like the rest of my room was. To say that I was a neat freak was kind of an understatement. I was more of a control freak when it came to the cleanliness of my room.

If something was out of its place, I kind of lost it. Especially my books. They were categorized alphabetically, but were also grouped by genre. That’s the way I liked everything. I wanted everything to be organized in a way that made sense. Sure, it might not make sense to other people, but it made a lot of sense to me.

I studied my clothes in disdain. Most of my clothes were from junior year and consisted mainly of sensible sweaters. Okay, so my sense of style kind of lacked style, but there had to be something semi-decent I could wear tonight.

Chewing on my lip, I pulled out a pair of tight, black jeans and a baby blue sweater. This was my favorite go-to outfit. I always wore it in the colder months with one of my numerous coats. Was this what Lana had meant when she’d said to dress warm, but sexy?

Holding the outfit up in the mirror, I scrutinized myself. It looked like something an accountant would wear to the beach. Warm, but definitely not sexy. Besides, Lincoln said that I hid behind my sweaters, so maybe it was time to try something different.

Tossing aside the jeans and sweater, I searched through my wardrobe and pulled out a lilac tank top that had thin spaghetti straps. I hadn’t worn this top since I’d been about fourteen. I’d quickly outgrown it and only kept it because I liked the color.

Not wanting to waste any more time, I threw on the outfit and studied myself. The top was skin tight, but not uncomfortable, and showed off a couple of inches of my flat stomach. Feeling self-conscious, I pulled on a jacket and walked over to the dresser to run a brush through my hair. Then I applied some light foundation that blended in with my skin and decided to wear some red lipstick for a bold effect.

This was the best I could do, and it didn’t really matter, did it? It’s not like I was trying to impress anyone. Lincoln wasn’t even going…okay, I really needed to stop thinking about Lincoln. This was supposed to be a Lincoln-free night.

When I walked out into the kitchen, Mom and Dad stared at me in surprise. “Were you playing with my make-up again, honey?” Mom asked with a teasing smile.

“Does it look that bad?” I asked, feeling even more self-conscious.

“You look great, honey. Are you
going out
?” Mom asked, her eyes widening as she took in my entire appearance.

At first I was kinda offended that she looked so surprised, but then I realized it was because I never went out and did typical teenager stuff. Sometimes I think my parents thought I was a middle-aged woman trapped in the body of a seventeen-year-old.

“Yeah, I’m just going out with Mariah and Lana.”

Dad raised an eyebrow. “Will there be boys where you’re going.”

“Probably, Dad.”

“And alcohol?”

“You know I don’t drink.”

“Do you want to borrow my pepper spray?” Mom quizzed as I sat down at the table and pulled on a pair of ankle boots.

My brow furrowed at her question. “Mom, why do you have pepper spray? You’re a secretary. What’s the worst that could happen to you?”

“Sometimes your dad gets handsy at work,” Mom said, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. “I need something to keep him at bay.”

Dad winked at her. “You know it, sugar pops.”

“Too much information!” I pretended to gag and was grateful when I heard two honks from outside. “Gotta go! That’s Ray and Lana.”

“Give the girls hugs and kisses from us,” Mom said fondly.

“And don’t get pregnant!” Dad called out after me as I opened up the door and ran outside to where Mariah had pulled up in my driveway.

Honestly, my parents were complete nuts. Who was going to get me pregnant? I had no romantic prospects to speak of.

***

The field party was just as noisy and annoying as the two other high school parties I’d been to.

When I saw the number of people heading towards the field, I felt like dragging Mariah back to her car and forcing her to reverse all the way back home. What was I doing here? I didn’t fit into this scene at all. It was stupid for me to come here in the first place.

I could’ve just as easily forgotten about all my problems if I’d stayed at home and read about Anne Elliot and Frederick Wentworth’s courtship. Now there was a love story I wish I’d been a part of.

“Ooh, look how cute Connor looks!” Mariah squealed into my ear as the three of us walked onto the field.

It was only half past eight and there were already about a hundred people here. I scanned the crowd and saw that Connor McAllister was standing around talking to a bunch of guys. Connor was on the basketball team so he was in great shape which Mariah was always quick to point out.

Mariah had liked Connor for months now and she didn’t need to tell me that he was the reason she’d come here tonight. I bet she’d put that risqué black dress on with the sole purpose of getting Connor’s attention. I was pretty sure she would succeed. She looked amazing tonight.

Mariah linked her arm through mine as we headed over to a few picnic blankets that had been laid out on the ground and were covered in lots of different kinds of alcohol. The only alcoholic drinks I could recognize by sight were beer and vodka. That was as far as my knowledge regarding alcohol went.

“Who the heck pays for all this alcohol?” I asked.

Just based on the amount of alcohol in front of me, it was pretty obvious it would’ve cost hundreds of dollars.

“The Hammonds, who else?” Lana said, as she adjusted her skin tight halter top.

“Of course they do,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

The Hammond brothers were the richest guys at our school and were part of one of the prestigious families that lived in Jackson Heights. I’d never spoken to either of them but from what I’d heard, the younger one was a complete sleaze bag.

“Do you want anything, Hadie?” Lana asked as she grabbed a plastic cup and poured vodka into it.

I was just about to shake my head when I caught sight of
him
.

Bennett was pressed up against a tree with that hoe bag from Penthill High who was grinding up on him. He was teasing the hem of her short mini denim skirt as he pulled her in for a kiss. Okay, so kiss was kind of an understatement. He was mauling her face off.

Some of his idiot friends were whistling and cat-calling as they leered in Bennett and the floozy’s direction. Seriously, why had they even bothered to come here when all they were going to do was make out?

As if my thoughts had somehow reached him, Bennett pulled the girl through a gap in the trees and disappeared. His friends started hollering like howler monkeys, and I turned away in disgust. It was no mystery what Bennett and the girl were going to do, and as hard as I tried not to let it get to me, it still hurt. It was always going to hurt, but the fact that he had forgotten me completely was what hurt the most.

That’s when I made a decision. I was going to drown out all thoughts of Bennett. I didn’t care what he did anymore or who he did it with. I didn’t need that jerk, and I was going to enjoy myself tonight.

“Get me whatever you’re having?” I said to Lana as she handed Mariah a beer.

Lana’s smile disappeared and she raised an eyebrow. “Hadie, I’m having vodka. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Swallowing down the bitter feeling that had built up within me, I nodded. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Lana handed me a plastic cup of the vile-smelling liquid and stared at me as I downed it in one gulp. The vodka was gross and disgusting and burned my throat, but I tried to act like it was no big deal.

“Where’s Hadie and what have you done to her?’ Mariah demanded, a hand on her hip as she scrutinized me.

I shrugged and gazed around the field absently. “It’s not going to hurt if I don’t act like myself for one night, is it?”

“I guess not,” Mariah said, but she didn’t seem convinced.

“Oh, come on, Ray! You’re always saying that I need to liven up a little. I just want to have some fun tonight.”

Mariah’s face brightened and finally nodded. “I guess not, but take it easy. You don’t drink, so you’re bound to be a lightweight.”

Before I could protest that I was perfectly capable of holding my liquor, Connor approached us and gave Mariah an appreciative smile. “Hey, Mariah, do you want to dance?”

Mariah’s eyes lit up like Christmas lights and she nodded eagerly as she glanced back at Lana and me. “Are you guys coming?”

I think I needed a few more drinks in me before I humiliated myself in public with my lame dance moves. It was a talent I’d inherited from my dad. He couldn’t dance to save his life.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said.

“You guys go have fun,” Lana added, taking a sip of her drink.