Falling for Forever (13 page)

"Bryn, that which I tell you now will be hard to hear. I do not blame you if desire forces you to leave me. My name is Mariah Aliana Sawyer, though this name I was not born with. That name you need not be concerned with, though what you must understand is my nature then."

Mariah tugged on a corner of her cape and laid the material in Bryn's delicate hand. "As this velvet is black, so too was my heart. For a time, not a thousand Franklins could cast a shadow upon me for I was the very embodiment of evil. Not evil as in stealing from elderly women or breaking proud kings, my simple desire was the elimination of all that was good. From this, I took no pleasure; it was simply a cold path I traveled without feeling. You must be asking yourself how one such as me could ever become as you see me now. The simplest answer I can give you is that I did not. As evil as I was, I could not have been so without a spark of good. Shadows do not need dark unless you have seen light; they are just shadows.

"So too is the nature of evil, for without some good to compliment it, it does not seem so cruel. What you see before you now is that spark of good within that monster, grown into a blazing inferno of white flame. There is much yet to tell, but for now, what you should know is my purpose. I am the devoted protector of this world, to see that light is not snuffed out by the darkness. My evil still exists, pure except for a small speck of light deep within. Likewise, I am pure light excluding my own speck of darkness. As some amount of good makes evil seem all the crueler, the shadow within myself makes the light shine all the brighter. I am destined to a lifetime of struggle, and in short, today was a part of that."

Mariah wrapped her arms around Bryn in a deep embrace, trickling a bit of magic into her body to quench her worries. Bryn would suppress the memory of what was revealed until the day she would be ready to cope with Mariah's burden. Mariah felt badly about hiding these thoughts from her, but she dreaded her living in constant dread. Her questions were forgotten, and she calmly listened as Mariah began to speak. Bryn moved away from her and slumped wearily to her knees in front of the stone hearth of the fire. Her new stallion grazed outside the window, just barely visible against the setting sun.

Bryn sighed and pulled her knees to her chest. Mariah could see the unshed tears plainly in her ocean deep gaze. "There's so much to say," Bryn said . "I have no idea where to start. The bad stuff is more important right now for you to understand me better, though, I guess. Everything bad started happening when I was thirteen. I was living with Franklin and I had three very close friends:  Yarrow, Damascus, and Sage. I already told you about Yarrow. Damascus was a baby dragon Franklin had bought when he bought Yarrow and me. Sage was an orphaned child who was about the same age as me. Franklin kept him because he was good at tracking animals, and he knew which plants did what; something Franklin desired almost constantly for cures and such.

"By the time I was thirteen, though, they were all gone and I was left alone with Franklin. That was how he wanted it, so that my friends couldn't interfere with his plans anymore. The first time he ever hurt me was the same night he had sent the last of them away. And he continued to hurt me almost every night for years until you came and got me." She paused and looked up into Mariah's eyes.

Bryn took an unsteady breath and continued. She was trembling, appearing wary and worn out all at once. "You asked about the scars on my stomach. I didn't want to tell you what they were then because of the emotions attached to them. The smaller one is where Yarrow accidentally stabbed with his alicorn once. I was running and I startled him. He didn't move his head out of the way fast enough, and I got a tiny chunk of his horn in me. It broke off inside of me, and it's still there. I can still feel it sometimes, just below the surface. I could never have it removed, even though it would be an easy enough task, because it reminds me of him. No matter where he is, or how far apart we are, he'll always be a part of me. And as his horn broke off in my body, some of my blood became a part of him. And so we are always bound together in this way."

Bryn gulped nervously. "The second one isn't so easy to explain. When I was sixteen, I found out that I was pregnant. At the time, Franklin was the only one that had ever been allowed to touch me. He hadn't yet begun to have financial troubles, which was one of the main reasons he let the others have me. But that isn't really the point right now. When I told Franklin, he was less than enthusiastic about the prospect of having a child, especially one that was partially Strytas. So he had it taken care of."

Bryn's hand went to her stomach as she spoke and her voice shook.  "It was better this way though. He would not have been kind to my child, had it lived. I'm half human too, or at least that's what the woman that raised me until I was six told her husband before she died. She said that a Strytas came and told her that my father was human and that my mother was a Strytas. Franklin often held it against me, but I really don't care anymore. It never bothered me to begin with." She looked away from Mariah, hoping not to see what she thought would be waiting for her in Mariah's eyes. She couldn't expect her to understand or accept any of it. No one had before. She hadn't even tried telling anyone all of it before then.

"There's something else too, Mariah," she said quietly as her cheeks began to darken. "I'm falling in love with you."

Mariah had stared down hordes of dracoliches, fought the lord of evil and almost died several times, yet never before had she acquired such a large lump in her throat. Mariah already suspected that Bryn  had a child stolen from her but never before had a person declared love for her. Most lived in fear of her, lived in need of her, but never in love of her. Words would not come to her lips, her head swam, and she could only sink more deeply into the dim light of the room.

*~*~*

Bryn's lower lip trembled as the seconds turned into minutes. She hadn't expected Mariah to return her affection, but the silence was too much to bear. As Mariah continued to stare into the dying flames of the fire, she crossed her arms over her chest. Bryn wouldn't meet her gaze. She couldn't bear to see the rejection in those perfect blue eyes of hers. With a certain mix of pain and resolve, she turned away from Mariah and started walking toward the door. Bryn couldn't tell if she was breathing, but she doubted that she was.

Mariah quickly approached Bryn from behind and wrapped her arms around her. Mariah leaned down to whisper softly in her delicate ear. "Bryn, from the moment I looked into your eyes, an emotion overtook me that I have never known. That day Bryn, that hour, I fell in love with you, but how could a Strytas possibly love me?"

Mariah slid her hands down her arms and encircled her slender wrists. Her lips went to Bryn's neck and kissed her pale skin with gentle tenderness.

Bryn opened her mouth to speak. But the words refused to come. She leaned back, her head resting against Mariah's neck. She could feel her warm breath on her cheek.

"Mariah…" she moaned softly, unable to say anything more. She turned toward her, her arms moving to the small of her back. "Mariah…" she softly said again as she looked up into those striking blue eyes of hers. Saying her name was more of a plea than anything else. Mariah could see Bryn's need for her in her eyes. Bryn hooked her trembling fingers behind her neck. Her legs were weak and her heart threatened to beat wildly out of control. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips gently against Mariah's. Her arms held Bryn close, pulling her against Mariah in a warm embrace.

Bryn let her lips linger on Mariah's. Her fingers wound their way into her hair as she opened her mouth just enough to let a soft moan through. Her kiss was soft, gentle, and tender, a far cry from any she had ever been given before. Bryn found a renewed sense of innocence in Mariah's arms. Bryn moaned her name, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Bryn's eyes opened slowly. She smiled at Mariah and rested her head against her broad chest. Bryn said her name repeatedly, almost as a prayer. Her fingers slid down her muscular arms. Mariah's heart beat loudly against her cheek.

Mariah looped her arms under Bryn's and kissed her forehead gently. She tilted her head upwards and peered at her with a pair of sparkling, blue eyes. Mariah pulled her delicate body closer to hers and began to massage her back. Mariah's hands found the transition between the flesh of her body and the softness of her wings. Mariah ran her fingers through her white feathers and kissed her left temple. Mariah moved her lips a few inches from her ear and softly said, "I love you, Bryn."

Bryn smiled to herself, but despite her happiness, her mood was slowly turning darker. She needed to know something before she allowed herself to feel anything more for this woman. It had never come up in the past. She had never been allowed to know or care before.

"Why did you become quiet earlier when I asked if you were married or had any children?" she asked quietly as she relaxed in the warm glow from the torches around the room. "Were you married once?" Her better judgment told her to leave the subject alone, but she couldn't. She had confided in Mariah, and now it was her turn. She needed to know at least one of the many secrets she had been keeping from her.

Mariah paced back and forth a few times before answering her question. "Yes, a long time ago I was married. Her name was Jasmine. I was a subservient to an emperor, and I was required to marry in order to gain the trust of the people. I cannot say there was much love in our relationship, but she was a good friend of mine."

Mariah sighed slightly and lowered her eyes. "One day, I watched her be murdered by a foul beast. Perhaps we should not have been married, but still, she did not deserve to be killed." A small tear trickled down her cheek and Mariah became silent.

Bryn took a tentative step toward Mariah and brought her hand to the side of her face. She met her eyes briefly before wiping her tear away with her thumb. Her heart was breaking for Mariah, for everyone that she had ever lost and especially for Sage. "In a way, I envy you. You were at least granted the knowledge of what happened to her," she whispered softly. Her breath was warm against her cheek as she wrapped her arms around her. "I did not have that luxury." A soft shudder crept through her body.

She brought her arms up to Mariah's shoulders and rested her cheek against her muscular chest. No words of comfort came to her lips. She doubted that they would have helped anyway. None would ever help to ease her pain.

There was a flash of light outside the window. At first, Bryn brushed it off as nothing, but as she heard the sound of hooves drumming against soft earth, she turned to look. In an instant, her eyes went wide and her blood ran cold. She bolted out of the cabin, Mariah trailing behind her.

She stopped short as she saw the stallions approach each other. One as black and the darkest night and the other lighter than snow. Blackberry trotted toward him, his head held high. Luca lifted his head and nickered. Luca moved quickly through the field, meeting the other stallion halfway. Both their heads were held high, a sign of non-aggression.

They met in the middle. Luca stood calmly eyeing Blackberry. It was his territory after all. He had no reason to be afraid of the intruder. Blackberry, on the other hand, tossed his head, his mane falling wildly around his face. He snorted nervously and pawed the ground.

The stallions spoke quietly. Blackberry kept his head submissively low as he listened. He nodded a few times. Bryn wished that she was closer so that she could hear them. But they had to do this their way.

After what seemed like a long time, Luca trotted up to Mariah and Bryn, Blackberry close by his side. He stopped in front of Mariah, his large eyes fixed on the black stallion. "
He can stay, but he is not part of my herd. If he comes near my herd, he will die."

Bryn touched Blackberry's shoulder. "Is that okay with you?" she asked him softly.

He nodded and touched his nose to her forehead.
"Yes Bryn, the white stallion's decision is a just one."
She ran a hand over his soft cheek. Her gaze went to Luca. Bryn wanted to thank him for allowing Blackberry to stay, but as she met his eyes, the blood drained from her face.

"Luca… I…"

He tossed his neck and snorted.
"Save your breath. Strytas are just as bad as humans at keeping their word."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. He shrugged his big shoulders and turned back to his herd. As he began walking toward them, Bryn took a step closer to him. "Luca, wait," she pleaded with him. He made no effort to move away from her so she walked alongside him as they went back to his herd. "Please, just listen to me Luca…"

He sighed and shook his head.
"I offered you the chance to ride me whenever you wished, and you said 'no.' Then you chose another. What more is there to say?"
The pain in his voice was obvious. It was making her heart break.

"It isn't that, Luca," Bryn replied quietly. "You are Mariah's horse. I'm sorry, but I wanted my own horse for riding sometimes, possibly with Mariah and with you."

Luca turned to her, his head held low.
"Forgive me, but I will not ride alongside him. I do not trust him. Please be careful should you choose to ride him someday."

"I will. Thank you for being worried."

Luca nodded and started walking again.
"I will always worry about you, little Strytas, for no other reason than the fact that Mariah cares for you. I too care for you, and so I will worry."
Bryn smiled at him and waved goodbye.

Moments later, she returned to Mariah's side and wrapped an arm around her waist. Bryn turned her gaze to Blackberry as he grazed a few yards away. She nodded to him, and he returned her nod with an appreciative snort before continuing to graze.

Her hand found Mariah's and she led her toward the forest. They would find solitude there, and perhaps she could even have some of the answers to the questions that swarmed through her mind. The forest canopy, she soon realized, was too thick to allow light through. She continued pulling Mariah deeper into the dark woods, feeling her way along with her toes and the palm of her hand. Each tree trunk felt different, and she had remembered them all. She didn't know the names of them, but each was an individual, slightly different than the last. The river gurgled gently off to her right. Mariah's boots were almost silent amongst the lush mosses.