Falling for Autumn (20 page)

The next week, I met up with Lexi, Finn, and Josh to study in the student lounge in our dorm. Deadlines for our final papers were coming up and exams were two short weeks away. Despite the distraction of a new relationship, I was confident with my grades for the semester. I still had to cram, but I was less stressed than my friends.

Lexi
covered her head with her hands and moaned. “I will never get this material. Why the hell am I a chemistry major?”

Finn rubbed the back of her neck. “You’ll get it. Don’t psych yourself out.”

Lexi lifted her textbook and set it against her forehead. “Maybe if I keep the book against my head long enough the words will seep into my brain.”

“You need a break. Why don’t we get something to eat?” Josh suggested.

“No way. I’m not leaving this room until I memorize all of the rules for assigning oxidation numbers.” She gave Finn a pleading look. “But maybe you could make a food run?”

Finn tilted his head, making his shaggy blond hair fall into his eyes. “Do you mind if I go in an hour? I’m almost done with the first draft of my essay.”

Lexi set her puppy dog brown eyes on me. “Could you go, Autumn? You’re the only one caught up and I’m really in the mood for a pizza with mushrooms and peppers from Anthony’s. Finn will lend you his car.”

Finn looked nonplussed over his girlfriend offering up his car. “I don’t mind, but it’s up to you. I’ll pick up the pizza if it’s a pain.”

“It’s not a problem. We’ll call ahead and I’ll bring it back here.” I stood up and stretched. “Hey, do you care if I drop off some food for Blake on my way back? He’s studying at his apartment and the last time I checked his fridge he only had beer, milk, and eggs in it.”

“Yeah, sure,” Finn agreed and handed over his keys. Blake had declined my invitation to study together. I had to agree we made awful study buddies and ended up hooking up more than cracking a book. He told me to call him later and we could meet up later at night if I felt up to it.

Minutes later, Finn called in our pizza and sandwich order and I jogged to the student parking lot. After wandering aimlessly for several minutes, I finally found his Acura. Anthony’s was less than ten minutes from campus, not far from Blake’s apartment. Blake was a cheesesteak connoisseur and he’d appreciate the surprise lunch of a pizza steak and fries.

The dinner crowd at Anthony’s hadn’t arrived yet and I picked up our order quickly.
Lexi would have my head if I returned with cold pizza, so I would have to drop off Blake’s lunch with only a quick kiss to hold me over until later. Our weekend date was only two days away and every time I thought about it, butterflies took over my core.

Blake hinted at arranging something romantic for the weekend and I couldn’t wait to see how he planned to surprise me. In all honesty, the thought of giving him my virginity was all the romance I needed. I had no idea what it would be like to be connected to Blake in that way and I couldn’t wait to find out.

I left Finn’s car running as I parked in front of Blake’s apartment unit. Grabbing the bag with his sandwich inside, I headed down the pathway to his door. I straightened out my V-neck blouse as I rang the doorbell. A minute later, a girl I didn’t recognize swung open the door. As she looked me over, open hostility snuck into her features. “What the hell are you doing here?”

I almost demanded the same thing back at her, but my throat seized up. In seconds, I realized I was staring at the secret Blake had to tell me. This gorgeous girl with her long and glossy blonde hair and captivating blue eyes was my worst nightmare come to life. She was a couple of inches taller than me, accentuated by her high heels. She wore a short white dress and from my quick inspection, I could see her body was flawless. The girl was thin, but had enough curves to fill out the dress perfectly. I was certain of his infidelity because why else would she be staring at me as if it was an effort not to rip my hair out.

“What’s going on, Delia?” a woman’s irritated tone came from behind the girl. The door swung open wider and I blinked in shock. I waited for the ground to open up and swallow me because what I was seeing couldn’t be real.

Cassie Bridges stood inside of Blake’s apartment for some inexplicable reason. The world stopped and I imagined my body and mind dividing. I couldn’t get a handle on how one of my nightmares escaped my head and appeared in the flesh and blood before me.

Cassie had looked to Delia for answers before swinging her gaze in my direction. Instantaneously, her face flushed with anger and she knocked Delia aside to storm up to me. “What are you doing here? How dare you show your face to me?”

I backed away, priming my body to make a run for it. Because it was the only way I knew how to survive.
Running, always running, but never being truly free
.

Before I had a chance to bolt, Blake’s voice pulled all of our attention away from the standoff. “Mom, what are you guys doing out here?”

“No,” I choked out. Because something was infinitely wrong in the universe if Blake had just called the wife of the man who tried to rape me his mother. My brain couldn’t compute what was going on and I was too shell-shocked to continue my plan to flee. A million more sensible possibilities ran through my brain, like the idea I’d died and gone to hell.

Blake moved past Delia to stand on his front stoop. Dawning horror entered his features as he saw his mother bear down on me. Cassie swung back to face me and before I could make a defensive move, she slapped me across the cheek. My skin stung and tears blurred my vision. “You don’t
know how good that felt to do, you little slut. Are you stalking my son now? Luckily I caught you before you cried rape and tried to throw him in jail too.”

“Mom, stop it!” Blake roared. He stepped between us and his large frame blocked her from my view. “Are you okay?” he asked and tried to move my hair away to examine my cheek. I stumbled backwards and almost fell as I tried to avoid his touch. His fingers, the ones that merely days ago had me crying out in delicious ecstasy, appeared to me as swords that would leave behind mortal wounds if they touched my skin.

“What are you doing here?” Delia shouted at me. I knew Blake’s sister’s name, but it was the first time I’d seen her in person. She looked closer to my age than sixteen and it was the reason I assumed at first Blake had been cheating on me with her.
If only
. What a horrifying thought that Blake sleeping with another woman was a welcome alternative to the truth.

Delia’s blue eyes, the same eyes as the devil, had the most unsettling effect on me. I felt dizzy, black spots erupting into my vision field, and I was certain it was only seconds before I would faint.

Blake answered as I inched toward Finn’s car. “Mom and Delia, you need to go inside. I need a minute alone with Autumn.”

“Are you out of your go
ddamn mind? Do you realize who this is? Do you remember what she did to our family? To your father?” His mother’s hands curled into fists and by the fire in her hazel eyes, she was waiting for Blake to move out of the way so she could proceed to pummel me.

“Mom, she didn’t know who I was…” Blake trailed off and I understood his meaning perfectly. I may not have known who he was, but there was little doubt in my mind he’d known exactly who I was.

“But she knew my husband was a married man,” Cassie seethed. She bared her teeth at me. “Did you care? He had a wife and children and we depended on him. Did that thought ever cross your mind when you whored around with him?”

Cassie’s take on what happened didn’t come as a surprise. I heard about her stance during the days surrounding her husband’s arrest. She was choosing to stand by her man and
believe his side of the story: the tale where I had set out to seduce him, wanting to improve my almost failing grade, and had used any means possible. He had succumbed to my charms, but had quickly broken things off. His version featured me as a vindictive teen who reported him for sexual assault because of his hurtful rejection.

I took a step backward. Blake grabbed onto my elbow, likely guessing I was about to run off. He spoke to his mom. “You need to go inside right now. If you don’t, I’m withdrawing the rest of the money from my bank account and I’m never speaking to you again.”

His mother’s expression skewed up in disgust. Her stature was small, but her presence was formidable. It felt like a cold blanket thrown over my body each time she scowled in my direction. “Where’s your loyalty? Your father gave you
everything
. He has loved you—”

Blake broke in. “Mom, stop it. I’m serious. If you want me to keep helping out with money, you need to walk away.”

Cassie crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’ll go, but this isn’t over.” She turned her icy gaze once again on me. “I’m calling my lawyer and I’ll take out a restraining order to keep you away from my family if I have to. You’ve done enough damage.”

Blake ushered his mother inside. Delia bit her lip and looked at her brother questioningly. “It’s going to be okay, Del. I’ll explain everything.” Delia’s eyebrows pulled together as she looked at me like a puzzle she couldn’t quite figure out. I averted my eyes because the weight of her gaze was too heavy and it became even harder to breathe. I felt close to hyperventilating and the last thing I wanted was for the family of the man I hated to come to my rescue. Finally, Delia turned on her heel and disappeared inside the apartment.

During the exchange, I had backed up completely to Finn’s car. I went to open the car door, relieved I had left it running. As my hand circled the door handle, Blake came up from behind me and pushed against the window to prevent me from entering. “Get the hell away from me,” I hissed without turning to face him.

“Autumn, please, you have to at least hear my side of things…”

“I said get away from me.” I had temporarily forgotten the takeout container I had been holding the entire time. I launched it at him and the box crashed into his chest. His lunch fell to the ground and spilled at our feet.

In minutes, I had become afraid of Blake, but my anger outweighed my fear. I slammed both of my palms against his chest. When he barely moved, I made a tight fist and pounded at his chest and stomach. I was trembling with rage, my only aim wanting to cause him a fraction of the ache I was feeling. Mr. Bridges had been my teacher and his betrayal of my trust had stung. Blake’s betrayal felt as if he had cut into me a thousand times and then decided to drown me in a vat of salt.

Blake took each hit and I hoped to get some satisfaction from the anguish etched into his features. His eyes were moist, but I refused to believe he was capable of real emotion. They were crocodile tears—brought on because he had been caught in the web of lies he spun.

I didn’t want to cry and I wished the numbness from before would return. But a sob escaped as I punched him one last time and my arms fell to my sides. “When did you know? When did you realize who I was?” Blake squeezed his eyes shut before looking away shamefaced. It was all the admission of guilt I needed. “You saw me at the party and recognized me. So, from the moment we met, you’ve failed to mention
your father
was the one who tried to rape me.”

“He’s not my father. I did tell you the truth about my dad dying. Thomas married my mother when I was six.”

“Did he put you up to it? Was it some kind of twisted revenge scheme?”

Blake appeared horrified by the suggestion. “God no. Is that what you honestly think I’d do? I know how bad this looks, but I never set out to hurt you. I haven’t talked to Thomas in a year and I’ve tried to move on after his arrest. I saw you at the Football House and it felt like I was seeing a ghost. The decent thing to do would’ve been to stay away from you. But I didn’t and instead fell in love with you.”

I scoffed, a fresh rage igniting that I felt down to my bones. “Fell in love with me? You’re a manipulative monster and although he’s not your blood, Thomas obviously raised you to follow in his footsteps.” I tilted my chin and stared him down. “Now, let me leave before I scream.”

Because a terrible scream was building up and I imagined the world crumbling before my eyes when I released it. I was barely holding on and I couldn’t stand to see his beautiful deceptive face for another second.

Blake released his hold on the door and stepped away from the car. “I’m so sorry, Autumn. I fucked everything up and it’s killing me to know how much you must hate me right now.”

“Fuck you and fuck your apology.”   

I refused to look at him as I rushed into the driver’s seat and slammed the door as he continued to blurt out a string of bumbling apologies. Nothing he could say would change the fact he was the son of the man who tried to destroy me. Thomas Bridges was at the heart of every one of my nightmares. Blake had connived his way into my life and heart—pretending to be a man I could trust. Lie after lie had carelessly slipped from his lips and I had bought them all.

Why did I always blindly trust the wrong people? I had enough faith in Blake to give him my heart with plans to give him my body as well. I had sensed he was holding back something from me, but never came close to suspecting what type of skeletons he’d been hiding. They weren’t merely skeletons—they were rotting corpses who wanted to drag me back down to hell alongside them.