Falling (12 page)

“Yeah, but Allie will have to come too. It’s at home though so her friends will be there for her to hang around with. I can only take so much of my sister,” I roll my eyes. As we enter my temporary bedroom, Allie is spread out on our bed doing her homework. She looks up and grins at Leah.

“So which one of you is helping me with my math homework?”

“Oh crap, I forgot to wash my M
athlete shirt,” I say as I grab the laundry basket and head out the door. “I will be right back, going to go throw this in right quick.”

It feels slightly weird to be doing laundry in my b
est friend’s house. I smell my Mathlete shirt before tossing it in the washing machine; yeah, it definitely needed washing. As I am throwing the rest of the dark clothing in, I hear footsteps on the stairs leading down to the laundry room.

“Leah, is that you?”

“Nope, just me." Connor continues down the steps until he is standing on the last one. His hair is sticking up like he has been running his hands through it and he has a determined look on his face.

“Hey, can we talk for second?” he states as he moves closer to me.

“Yeah, of course,” I say as I turn to load the washing machine. I hear him take a deep breath.

“Okay, so earlier in the kitchen . . . “

“Abby, can you wash my jeans too?” interrupts Allie as she charges down the steps and throws her jeans in the laundry basket. “I would like to wear them on Friday to the football game." She notices Connor, and looks between the two of us. “What are you guys doing down here?”

“Obviously, I am doing laundry Allie.” I say in a sarcastic voice.

Connor blurts out at the same time, “I just needed to check on something down here. Well, guess I will head back upstairs,” he says as he climbs the steps. He glances over his shoulder at me with a frown. I wonder what he was going to say about that kiss. Probably, that it was a mistake and it meant nothing. Connor has been flirting with me for years, but I don’t think it means anything to him. He has his pick of the girls at school. He just flirts with me whenever I am around because that is how he is. But today he just seemed different. Even though I tell myself not to hope, I can’t help but wonder if Connor has finally noticed me.

**********

I don’t know if this day could get any worse. On the way to my locker before school, I fell up the steps and then when I got to class, I stumbled over a chair and rammed my hip into a table. That is definitely going to bruise. To make matters worse, Samantha has decided to pick up where she left off in Spanish last year. She happened to be standing by the steps when I fell this morning, and ended up following me to my locker with her friends. They weren’t talking to me directly, but were talking about me so I could hear them. I tried to ignore them, but it is really hard to pay no attention to three girls making fun of you within hearing distance. By lunch, I was strung as tight as a violin. I hurried to my locker, hoping Samantha had lost interest in her little game. If she continued this torture, I would have to do something, either stand up to her or run away crying. I just didn’t know which one would actually happen. I didn’t like either choice. I was so focused on my problems, I didn’t notice Connor standing beside my locker staring at me.

“Abby, is something wrong?” Connor asks grabbing my shoulder. When I remain silent, he turns me towards him, putting both hands on my arms. “Abby, did something happen?”

“No, it’s nothing. I’m fine,” I say even as tears start to run down my cheeks.

“Abby, what is it? What happened?” he says as he pulls me into his arms and hugs me. It feels so good to lean on someone and just let out my emotions. I hug him back for a moment, then push against his chest for him to release me.

“Nothing, just having a bad day. It’s just one thing after another,” I smile weakly as I turn to walk to my next class.

Connor grabs my hand, “Hey, class is this way Abby, you know pre-calculus. You sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Yeah, fine." I continue to avoid looking at Connor because I know he is watching me worriedly. He squeezes my hand and releases it as we walk towards class.

“I will be there in a second, I’m going to go wash my face off. Thanks, Connor," I say as I go into the bathroom. After washing my face, I stare at myself in the mirror. I hear voices and it breaks me out of my stare.

“Looky what we have here. Staring at your reflection won’t make you look any better. You will be hideous no matter what you do, Abby,“ Samantha says with a chuckle.

“Just leave me alone,” I say as I rush past her out of the bathroom.

She follows me into the hallway and grabs my arm, “You know, it is just pathetic to watch you with Connor. He thinks of you like a little sister, and yet you embarrass yourself by flirting and hanging on him. You have no chance with someone like him. I just thought you should know what people are saying,” she smirks as she turns and slams into Connor. Samantha was so centered on me, she hadn’t heard Connor approach. I hadn’t seen or heard him because I was living in misery.

“Shut up Samantha. You are the pathetic one. Abby has nothing to be embarrassed about, you do though. You are a lying, manipulative bitch who is just upset because she got dumped for another girl. Get over yourself, you are nothing special." Connor snarls then grabs my hand and pulls me toward a door leading to the parking lot. Connor drags me over to one of the benches in front of the school and sits down. I sink down on the bench and feel humiliation sweep through me all at once. Connor heard everything Samantha said.

“Abby, talk to me. Are you okay?" When I refuse to speak or make eye contact with him, he kneels in front of me. He picks up one of my hands and starts rubbing my fingers.

“Thanks,” I whisper nervously. “So, did you hear everything that Samantha said to me?”

“Yeah, I came out to check on you and that was when I spotted her following you down the hall. I heard the crap she was saying and yet you just stood there. Why? Why would you listen to anything she had to say?”

“I know I should have stood up to her, she just gets to me. She says things that make sense, even if I don’t want them to,” I say with my head down.

“What exactly did she say that made sense to you? That you were pathetic? That I look at you like a little sister? That I could never like someone like you? Which of those makes sense?” he scowls. I continue to look at him in wonder.

“Those things don’t make sense to you?” I ask.

“For someone so smart, you are an idiot. I kissed you the other night. I guess that didn’t mean anything to you. I look at you all the time and let me just say I never feel like your brother. I like you Abby. I really like you, but I can’t talk to you right now,” he glowers as he walks away from me. I watch him walk away from me with mixed feelings. I am confused and yet hopeful that maybe there is a chance with Connor after all, if I haven’t ruined it. I rush to math class knowing that I am really late and will have to take a detention. As I open the door, I notice Connor talking to Mrs. McKinney and she nods in my direction when I enter class. She then waves me over to my desk and hands me a worksheet. Oh great, a pop quiz, just what I needed to make my day complete. I glance of Connor several times trying to get his attention, but he avoids looking in my direction. The quiz takes the entire class period so, as I am leaving, I stop in front of Mrs. McKinney to explain my tardy.

Before I can explain, she asks, “Are you feeling better Abby? Connor told me you weren’t feeling well in the hall and that is why you were late. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am feeling a little better now. Just wanted to apologize for coming in so late and make sure Connor wasn’t in trouble.”

“No, he explained everything to me. Hope you feel better,” she says as she walks away. I spend the rest of the day in classes and looking for Connor so I can thank him. I can’t stop thinking about what he said to me. He said he liked me, but at the same time looked so disappointed in me for not standing up to Samantha. All I know is that I need to see him and make sure that we are okay.

**********

The Mathlete competition went about the same as the rest of my day. I couldn’t seem to do anything correct. My team ended up winning although they got no help from me and my brain. After the competition, the team decided to go to Charlie’s one last time and celebrate our season. We have two seniors on our team and we wanted to give them a Mathletes’ farewell even if it was still months until graduation. Mr. and Mrs. Sparks took Allie home so I wouldn’t have to worry about taking care of anyone tonight. I could just enjoy myself. Under normal circumstances, that would be easy but after today, I have to force myself to smile and go to Charlie’s.

As the Mathletes crowd around a booth at Charlie’s, I look over at Blake. He grins and switches seats so he is sitting next to me.

“So did you take my advice about Connor or chicken out?”

“I tried to be brave, but then Leah and Miles came home and my plan fell apart.  Okay, I mostly chickened out. He is disappointed in me at the moment."

“Why? What did you do?”

“He got into it with Samantha over me. He got upset at me because I didn’t stand up to her, I let her make me feel bad.”

“That doesn’t sound like something Connor would get upset over. I bet you are worried over nothing. Did you try to talk to him about it?”

“I tried to find him at school, but I didn’t see him anywhere. I guess I will see him when I get home. He can’t hide from me there, but I don’t know what I am going to say to him.”

Blake rolls his eyes and huffs, “The truth is what you tell him. Stop being such a wuss and tell him how you feel. You guys are making each other miserable with all this circling each other.” He frowns and squeezes my arm, “Connor is a great guy, remember that. “

“It’s hard to forget,” I sigh. I decide I have had about all the socializing I can take for the day and slide out of the booth. After telling everyone good bye, I head to my car only to be intercepted by Connor.

“Hey,” he says with a little wave. “I just swung by to pick up some food for dinner. My parents and Allie didn’t want to crash your get together so they sent me to pick up their food. You leaving already?”

“Yeah, I’m tired. Been a long day and I am ready to relax for a while.”

“Okay, well I guess I will see you back at the house,” he says as he walks away.

“Connor,” I say. He turns around and walks back to me with a questioning look. “I just wanted to say thanks for earlier today. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along. I also wanted you to know, I was going to stand up to her. It was just taking me some time to find the courage.”

“Anytime you need me, I’m here Abby. I’m sorry I got upset with you earlier today. I was frustrated with the situation,” he says with a frown.

“And you were frustrated with me. Please don’t be upset with me,” I plead as I look at the ground.

“Abby, I’m not upset with you, I was upset for you. I wish you would have told her off. I mean, if I had said something mean to you, you would slice me up with your tongue. I just couldn’t understand why you would listen to her, much less believe what she said. ”

“So, are we okay?” I ask worriedly.

“Yeah we’re fine,” he replies with a roll of his eyes. “Be careful and I will see you when I get home." I watch him walk into Charlie’s and can’t help notice his sexy little swagger.  As I drive towards the Sparks house, my heart is full of Connor and my mind is screaming at me to tell him the truth about my feelings.

I felt like being alone when I got home. I thought about going to Connor’s room several times to talk to him. I keep hearing his words in my head. He said he liked me and never thought of me as a sister. He also basically said the kiss meant something to him. Every time I move toward the door, I try to plan out what I want to say and that stops me. What do I want to say to Connor? I like you too? Or I have had a crush on you since seventh grade? I don’t want to scare him. I finally give in for the night and decide to sleep on it. Hopefully everything will look better in the morning and I will know the words that I need to use.

Chapter 14

Well today is much better than yesterday, even if my head and heart are so full of Connor that I can’t concentrate on school at all. At lunch, Leah is chattering about her weekend plans with Miles, but I am totally distracted.  I can see Connor across the cafeteria sitting with his friends. Leah frowns at me, then peeks over her shoulder at Connor.

“So why don’t you guys just go on a date?” she asks.

“Who?” I ask glancing away from Connor.

“Who do you think? You and Connor. I have been watching you two this week and you are both acting like morons. It is obvious to everyone that you two like each other. Even Samantha figured it out.”

“Wait, I thought you didn’t want me to like your brother?” I question Leah.

“No, that is not it, I didn’t want you to get hurt. Connor likes to date. You are a one guy type of girl. Connor wasn’t your type until lately. He hasn’t been out with anyone since Samantha. I see how he looks at you and he is always around when we are hanging out. I think he has changed. I know I encouraged you to get over your crush, but I think you two would be good together. So for goodness sake, please do something besides look sad and confused all the time. I can’t take it anymore,” she huffs as she gets up and leaves the table. I peek at Connor and see him watching me. I smile and decide it is time for my actions to speak for themselves. I walk over to his table and lean down next to his ear.