Falling (15 page)

Brent grabbed a lock of my hair.”I like it better this color too. Hell,” he said,”if you had taken this good a care of yourself last year I might have given you a chance!”

My face flamed with anger and embarrassment. This was the guy I had mooned over last year to apparently everyone’s knowledge? Granted, I had never actually spoken to him and had no idea he was a total jerk.

He squeezed closer and closer until he was practically sitting in my lap. When Lincoln finally pulled into a parking spot I jumped out of the car before it was fully stopped. With a crushing despair, I realized he had pulled into a space in front of a nice restaurant with a reception hall above and I was going to be subjected not only to the dance but dinner.

The waiter led us to a candle lit table set for four. Kate glared at me. “Well isn’t this nice, we get to all have dinner together.” Brent rolled his eyes and jerked out the chair in front of him and plopped down.

The waiter passed around menus and Brent leaned over to tell me, “You can order anything you want but try to keep it around ten bucks.” It was my turn to roll eyes.

“Separate check,” I told the waiter, pointing to myself.

Linc shook his head at me but I just buried my head in the menu.

Kate ordered side salad and sniffed when I ordered lasagna. I prayed for the night to be over.

Lincoln cleared his throat. “So, you guys have biology together, right?” he asked Kate.

She gave him a fake little smile. “Ugh, I don’t want to talk about school tonight. I want to talk about you and me.” He flushed a little at that.

“Hey man, what’s the score on the game?” Brent shouted to some guys from our school two tables over. Annoyed patrons glared at him but he didn’t even notice as he carried on a ten decibel conversation across the room.

Kate simpered and played with her hair and accidently rubbed her feet against mine. I sat rigidly and kept praying for the dance to hurry up and be over with. My night with Jordan had been confusing, my day at home had been a nightmare and the evening was shaping up to be the same. I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized within a few hours I would have to deal with Jordan again. My head began to throb and I focused on the melting ice in my glass.

Brent got up and went to over to the other guys’ table to keep talking sports and I sat, totally ignored by everyone.

“Excuse me,” I finally said to no one and went to find the bathroom.

As I washed my hands, I examined my hair and face. I expected my face to be pinched and my cheeks to be a fiery red—how my face usually looked when I was angry or annoyed. But my cheeks were no more than rosy and my skin was smooth. My hair was still lying as nicely as it had been when I had fixed it. I sadly wondered how much different I was going to end up looking. Awake and asleep, my life was filled with so many problems a professional couldn’t have juggled them all. I lingered at the sink, trying to roll all my issues into one manageable ball.

Determined to act normal, I put on a smile and left the bathroom. Lincoln grabbed my arm outside the door and swung me around. “Bixby, what are you doing?” he asked.

“I had to pee,” I snapped, jerking my arm back.

“No, I mean, why aren’t you having a good time?” he asked.

I felt my jaw fall open.”Are you kidding me? Your date is the Queen of Bitches and won’t even acknowledge my presence and Brent is either talking sports to the other oafs or telling me how much better I look with makeup on.”

“Well, you do look nice. And you haven’t said anything to Kate either,” he countered.

“He’s not saying I look nice. And why should I play nice with her? She’s been trying to make my life hell since kindergarten.”

Lincoln’s jaw clenched and bulged.”Bixby, please, why do you have to make things difficult? Why do you think my friends don’t like you? Maybe they think you’re the bitch.”

I recoiled from him, my eyes stinging.”Why? Because I don’t spend hours focused on my hair and my face and my clothes with the other girls or slut it up with all the guys like they do? News flash, Lincoln—even if I wanted to, I have never had the time!”

A girl with curious eyes eased around us to get in the bathroom and I could see the fight draining out of Linc.”Let’s not do this here,” he muttered.

“You started it,” I insisted.”Your friends don’t like me and I don’t like them and I don’t fit in here. I’m glad you got to be Mr. Popular but I’m the one who’s had to keep the house clean and put dinner on the table and keep Grandma safe. You never had a problem with how things worked before, what is the problem now?”

“Bixby, please,” he begged.”Can we just go back to the table and have a good time?”

I stared at him for a minute then gave a tiny nod. I wasn’t going to be the girl that spent the dance in the bathroom crying, especially not when it was my brother that had hurt my feelings.

I blinked away any trace of tears and slid back into my seat at the table. “So Kate,” I said, trying to keep any trace of iciness out of my voice, “how’s everything with you?”

Linc look relieved I was attempting to play nice but Kate just gave me a look and excused herself to the bathroom.

“Bixby,” Linc started but Brent came back to the table and slid his chair closer to mine. He put his hand on my neck under my hair and said to Lincoln with an exaggerated wink,”Can’t wait to get your sister upstairs for some slow dancing.”

Brent’s steak kept his hands busy for the remainder of the dinner and every time I attempted to start any conversation with Kate she just shoved more salad in her mouth. All of the couples that stopped at the table to say hello pointedly didn’t include me. From the corner of my eye I could see Linc’s face getting redder and more apologetic with each minute. He tried to catch my attention over and over but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. “I’m the bitch, huh?” I kept thinking to myself.

I counted down the minutes until we could go upstairs and I could hide in the relative darkness. But I didn’t get a foot away from the top step when Brent grabbed my hand and led me out to the dance floor.

He pulled me in too close and started swinging me around in big, loopy circles. “This is a great song,” he shouted in my ear, “perfect for our first date.”

I didn’t recognize the song but it seemed to be about more than romance. Uncomfortable, I tried to worm out of his grasp. When that didn’t work, I tried to at least slow his erratic dancing to a gentle swoon. But when he turned his face towards mine, trying to come in for a kiss, I almost threw up.

“Have you been drinking?” I asked, jerking my face away from his.

Brent gave a big, stupid grin. “How did you know?”

“You reek! What were you drinking, vinegar?”

“Wild Turkey and Dr. Pepper. What? You should try it, maybe you’d loosen up a little,” he said with a nasty grin.

I gritted my teeth and shoved him away from me. Without bothering to even look for Lincoln, I ran down the stairs and out the front door. Across the parking lot and street was the beach and I didn’t stop until I hit the water’s edge. The moon was full and lovely, the water sparkling in its light.

I glared at it all and whipped off my shoes, heading south along the water. Furious, I kicked wet sand ahead of me, storming down the shore. That felt familiar and so did the heavy sand weighing down my feet. My own anger drained my energy, finally leaving me defenseless against my real feelings.

I was hurt.

I refused to stop and cry, so instead I just slowed to a crawl and bawled my eyes out while making my way home.

Knowing that everyone knew about my crush on Brent last year was humiliating and almost as bad was knowing he wouldn’t even speak to me because he didn’t consider me pretty enough. It definitely wasn’t me he was interested in now, just my new, unasked for looks.

And I could no longer even guess what Jordan was interested in. Sometimes I felt like his math tutor and other times his love interest. Not that I thought I was or wasn’t his girlfriend, I just didn’t think he had other ... math tutors.

But clearly I wasn’t special to him, the girl in the market proved that. My face burned with embarrassment and even though the night was a total disaster, I was glad I had at least tried to go on a date with a boy. Better than staying home to daydream over a guy who clearly didn’t feel like I had hoped he did. Or thought he did. Or whatever. Not to mention him attacking me and his human hating uncle and being chased by God knew what. I fumed over all of that for a few minutes but still ended up crying again.

Because Brent and Jordan put together couldn’t hurt me half as badly as Lincoln had.

Despondent, I trenched off the beach when I came to my neighborhood. Linc wasn’t home yet and I doubted he had even noticed me gone. Dad and Grandma were in bed and I was grateful for the silence. Most grandmothers or fathers would be alarmed by someone coming home teary-eyed and early from a dance, but I had no one that cared, or was able to even get what they were supposed to care about.

Battling a fresh bout of tears, I pulled off Celia’s slutty dress, climbed into bed and pulled the covers over my head. “Please God, just let me sleep and not dream tonight,” I prayed.

I WOKE UP DRY EYED in the fortress.

Curiously, Ash wasn’t in the room but she had left a frothy magenta gown at the end of my bed. I eyed it with a low burn of resentment and pawed through the huge wardrobe. My head swam with the same anger and hurt feelings as before I fell asleep and I began to wonder, did the other girl wear the same dresses? Where was her room? Was
this
her room?

A severe black dress with no decoration was shoved to the back and slightly wrinkled. “Perfect,” I thought.

Not bothering to brush my hair or wipe my gritty eyes, I wandered out of the room. With a dull curiosity, I slowed to inspect all the closed doors I passed. The hall my room was on was always silent, with all its doors shut. Soon I was imagining a different girl for each door.

Jordan wasn’t in the main hallway or the ballroom or the library. Like everyone in my world, the people of his world didn’t bother to even acknowledge me so I couldn’t even ask anyone if they knew where he was.

Ash came careening around a corner near the kitchens with a pot of steaming water and torn rags. “Oh, you’re here,” she said, rushing past me. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Jordan’s favorite dog is going to have her puppies soon,” she called over her shoulder. A long cool hallway off the main room led to a breezeway and back into another building. It smelled off fresh hay and wet dog. The first kennel was spacious and filled with straw and toys and food. Jordan was curled up in the corner next to a monstrous dog.

“Oh good grief,” I muttered. “Can’t any of the pets here be normal sized?”

Jordan looked up from stroking satiny black ears the size of my hand. “She’s considered to be normal sized for her breed. And she’s not a pet, not like you humans consider dogs to be.”

“Uh huh,” I said, staring pointedly at the toys and ropes of rawhide.

“This is a hunting dog, the best one I’ve ever bred.”

I found that hard to believe, it looked like it would rip prey into pieces. “And what do you hunt with it?” My voice was sharp but he failed to get my underlying anger.

Jordan shrugged, not looking at me. “Other djinn.”

“Okay,” I said, wheeling around. “I’m done.”

“It’s not like what you humans consider as murder.”

I turned back around. “You preface a lot of what you say with that, ‘you humans.’”

He opened his mouth but shut it again when the door slammed open and banged closed. A giant man came to lean against the doorway of the kennel, the apple he was eating looking tiny in his huge hands. He easily towered over Jordan, his shoulders twice as wide. While Jordan had short, dark waves, this man’s matted hair dropped in blond knots down his back. His face was scarred and one eye was a curious milky blue. “How’s your bitch?” he asked Jordan, looking at me.

“I think just tired,” Jordan said, not noticing the slight or my red face. He didn’t look up but said, “Bixby, this is my uncle, David. He and I talked and everything is okay.”

“Really,” I murmured, not liking the way his uncle leered at me.

“You two have fun making puppies,” David said and snapped his apple in two with one savage bite. He sauntered out the door, looking over his shoulder once to glare at me.

“Well, he seems like a total jerk,” I said as soon as I heard the door slam shut again.

Jordan looked up, surprised. “Why?”

“Um, I don’t know, he’s creepy and rude? Is it just me he hates, or women, or humans in general?”

“He doesn’t hate you. Or humans. He just thinks we should stay separate.”

“Maybe he’s right,” I said, trying to layer on the meaning.

“I don’t think so,” Jordan replied, still stroking his dog’s head. “I enjoy your company.”

My angry outburst could wait no longer. “Really? As much as your other human girlfriends’ company?”

His hand stilled and he looked up slowly. “Excuse me?”