Fallen Too Far (11 page)

              “Blaire?” Rush’s concerned tone surprised me and I snapped my eyes open and strained in the darkness to see him walking over toward me.

              “Yes,” I replied.

              “I couldn’t find you. Why are you out here? This isn’t safe.”

              I’d had it with his big brother role. I could handle things myself. He needed to back off. “I’m fine. Go back inside and continue your make-out session in our booth.” The bitterness in my voice was obvious. It couldn’t be helped.

              “Why are you out here?” he repeated, slowly taking another step toward me.

              “Because I want to be,” I replied just as slowly, glaring up at him.

              “The party is inside. Isn’t that what you wanted? A honky-tonk with men and drinks? You’re missing it out here.”

              “Back off, Rush.”

              Rush took one more step toward me leaving all but an inch between us. “No. I want to know what happened.”

              Something in me snapped and I put both hands on his chest and shoved as hard as I could. He barely stumbled back. “You want to know what happened? YOU happened Rush. That’s what happened.” I stormed around him and stalked toward the dark parking lot.

              One strong hand wrapped around my arm stopping me and I jerked hard trying to set myself free but it was no use.  Rush had a firm hold on me and he wasn’t letting go.

              “What does that mean, Blaire?” he asked, pulling me back up against his chest.

              I squirmed against him fighting back the urge to scream. I hated the way the smell of him made my heart race and my body throb. I needed him to stay at a distance. Not rub his warm delicious body all over me.

              “Let. Me. Go.” I snapped.

              “Not until you tell me what your problem is,” he replied angrily.

              I twisted in his arms but he didn’t budge an inch. This was ridiculous. He didn’t want to hear what I had to say. That realization made me want to say it. Knowing that what I was going to say would bother him. Mess up his whole friendship idea.

              “I don’t like seeing you touch other women. And when other men grope my ass I hate it. I want it to be you touching me there. Wanting to touch me there. But you don’t and I have to deal with it. Now, let me go!” I jerked free and ran for his Range Rover. I could hide out there until he was ready to take me home.

              Tears stung my eyes and I ran harder. When I reached his vehicle I walked around to the side and leaned back against it closing my eyes. I had just told Rush I wanted him to grope my ass. How stupid could I be? He’d given me my own room. Offered to let me stay there until my dad got home so I could save money and I’d just given him every reason to kick me out.

              The locks on the Range Rover clicked and I opened my eyes to see Rush stalking toward me. He was going to take me home and kick me out. He stopped beside me and jerked open the back door. He was putting me in the back. How humiliating.

              “Get in or I’ll put you in,” he growled.

              I scrambled into the backseat before he could throw me in. But he didn’t slam the door behind me. Instead, he climbed in after me.

              “What are you doing?” I asked, just before he pressed me against the seat and covered my mouth with his. I opened to him with one probe from his tongue. The flick of metal in my mouth was exciting. Tonight his minty taste wasn’t mixed with something else. I could taste him for hours and never get bored.

              Both of his hands found my hips and he shifted me until one leg was up on the seat with my knee bent and my other one still on the floor. He’d spread me open and then settled between me. His mouth left mine and trailed hungry kisses down my neck.  He took a small nip of my bare shoulder causing excitement to course through me.

              Both his hands found the hem of my shirt. “Take it off,” he said as he lifted it over my head and then threw it in the front seat without taking his eyes off my chest.  “I want it all off, sweet Blaire.” He reached behind me with one hand and had my bra unsnapped in less than a second. He pulled it down my arms before throwing it in the front seat with my shirt.

              “This is why I tried to stay away. This, Blaire. I won’t be able to stop this. Not now.” He lowered his head and pulled a nipple into his mouth. He sucked on it hard and an explosion went off between my legs. I cried out, grabbing his shoulders and holding on.

              I watched as he stuck his tongue out and ran the metal barbell over my skin. It was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen. “Tastes like candy. Girls shouldn’t taste so sweet. It’s dangerous,” he whispered against my skin and ran his nose along my cleavage while inhaling loudly. “And you smell incredible.”

              His lips were once again on mine as one of his large hands covered my breast kneading it gently and then tugging on my nipple. I wanted to feel more too. I ran my hands down his chest and slipped them underneath his shirt. I’d stared at his chest enough to know exactly what it looked like. Now I wanted to know how it felt under my hands. The warm skin that covered his hard muscles was smooth. I ran my fingers over each ripple in his stomach and memorized the feel. I had no promise that this would be more than a one-time event and I wanted it all.

              Rush reached back with one arm and pulled his shirt off, tossing it aside then went back to devouring my lips with his. I arched closer to him. I’d never been topless with a guy. I wanted to feel his naked chest against mine. He seemed to know what I wanted and he wrapped me up tightly in his arms and pulled me against him. The wetness from his mouth had left my breast cold but the heat from his skin was shocking.

              I cried out and pulled him closer, afraid he’d move away from me. I had what I’d wanted since I’d seen him out of the porch with that girl. It was me whose legs he was between now. This was my fantasy.

              “Sweet Blaire,” he whispered, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it.

              I shifted underneath him in an attempt to get his hardness pressed between my legs. I was throbbing and I wanted to feel his erection against me. Rush slipped his hand down to caress my knee and then ran it up the inside of my thigh. I let my leg fall open even further needing him to get closer. The ache was growing and the idea of his hand being near my needy ache made me lightheaded.

              The moment his finger ran along the silk crotch of my panties I jerked and let out a whimper. “Easy. I just want to see if it’s as fucking sweet down there as the rest of you,” Rush said in husky voice. I tried to nod but I couldn’t manage anything other than remembering to breathe. I stared into Rush’s silver eyes as they took on a smoky glow. He didn’t look away from me as his finger slipped inside the lace edges of my panties.

              “Rush,” I whispered, squeezing his shoulders and holding his gaze.

              “Shhh, it’s okay,” he replied. I wasn’t scared. He was trying to ease my fear but there wasn’t any. The excitement and need were too much. I needed him to hurry. Something was building inside me and I needed to reach it. The clawing ache was growing.

              Rush buried his head in my neck and let out a long heavy sigh. “This is too fucking much,” he groaned. I started to open my mouth and beg him not to stop. I needed him. I needed that release I knew was coming.

              His finger slid over my wetness and my toes curled as my body buckled uncontrollably. Then his finger slid inside. Slowly. I froze, afraid of what this would feel like. The thickness of his finger eased in further and I wanted to grab his hand and push it in harder. This was good. Too good.

              “Shit. Mother
fucking
hell. Wet, hot… so fucking hot. And Jesus you’re so tight.” Rush’s breathing had gotten heavier against my neck as he said things to me that only excited me more. The naughtier his words were the more my body responded.

             
“Rush. Please,” I begged, fighting the urge to grab his hand and force him to bring me relief from the throbbing underneath his touch. “I need…” I didn’t know what I needed. I just needed.

             
Rush lifted his head and ran his nose up my neck then pressed a kiss to my chin. “I know what you need. I’m just not sure I can handle watching you get it. You’ve got me all kinds of worked up, girl. I’m trying hard to be a good boy. I can’t lose control in the back of a damn car.”

             
I shook my head. He couldn’t’ stop. I didn’t want him to be good. I wanted him inside me. Now. “Please, don’t be good. Please,” I begged.

             
Rush let out a rugged breath, “Shit, baby. Stop it. I’m going to explode. I’ll give you your release but when I finally bury myself inside you for the first time you won’t be sprawled in the back of my car. You’ll be in my bed.”

             
His hand moved before I could respond and my eyes rolled back in my head. ‘That’s it. Come for me, sweet Blaire. Come on my hand and let me feel it. I want to watch you.” His words sent me spiraling over the edge of the cliff I’d been trying so hard to reach.

             
“RUUUUUUSH!” I heard the loud cry that came from me as I went falling into complete bliss. I knew I was crying for him, screaming out his name and maybe even clawing at him but I could no longer control myself. The ecstasy was too much.

             
“Ahhhh, yeah. That’s it. Fuck yes. You’re so beautiful.” Rush’s words washed over me but they felt so far away. I was limp and gasping for air when my senses came back to me.

             
I forced my eyelids back so I could see if I’d mauled Rush in my wild reaction to what I knew was my very first orgasm. I’d heard enough about them but I’d never been able to make myself have one. I’d sure tried a few times but I didn’t have the imagination for it. After tonight, I had a feeling that issue would no longer be a problem. Rush had just given me enough material to work with and he still had his jeans on.

             
I looked up at Rush who was staring down at me with his finger in his mouth. It took a moment to register exactly what that finger was. The shocked gasp following my realization only made Rush chuckle as he pulled it out of his mouth and grinned. “I was right. You’re just as sweet in that hot little pussy of yours as you are everywhere else.”

             
If I wasn’t so spent I’d have blushed. All I could do was close my eyes back tightly. Rush laughed louder. “Oh come on, sweet Blaire. You just came wild and sexy all over my hand and even left some claw marks on my back to prove it. Don’t go getting shy on me now. ‘Cause baby, before the night is over you will be naked in my bed.”

             
I peered up at him, hoping I’d just heard him correctly. I wanted more of this. Much more.

             
“Let me get you dressed then I’ll go find Bethy and see if she needs a ride or if she found a cowboy to take her home.”

             
I stretched and then managed a nod. “Okay.”

             
“If I wasn’t hard as a damn rock right now I’d consider staying right here and enjoying the sleepy little pleased look in your eyes. I like knowing I put it there. But I need some more.”

             
Rush wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to dress me. He put my bra back on me and then pressed a small kiss to my shoulder before slipping my shirt over my head.

             
“I’d prefer you stay out here while I go find Bethy. You have that well pleased look on your face and it’s seriously sexy. I don’t want to end up in a fight.”

             
More compliments. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to this from him.

             
“I came here with Bethy because I was trying to encourage her not to sleep around with guys who would never look at her for more than a fun time. Then you came with us and now here I am in the backseat of your car. I feel like I owe her an explanation.”
              Rush didn’t reply right away. He studied me a moment but I couldn’t really read his facial expression in the darkness. “I’m trying to decide if you meant that to sound like you were doing what you encouraged her not to do.” Rush moved his body back over mine and slipped his hand into my hair. “Because I’ve had a taste and I’m not sharing. This isn’t just for fun. I may be slightly addicted.”

             
My heart slammed against my ribs and I took a deep breath. Wow. Okay. Oh my. I managed a nod and Rush lowered his head and pressed a small kiss to my lips before running the tip of his tongue along my bottom lip. “Mmmmm, yeah. You stay here. I’ll get Bethy to come out here and talk to you.”

             
Again, all I could do was nod.

             
Rush moved away from me and was out of the door and sauntering back toward the honky-tonk. Before I could catch my breath.

             
He might think he was addicted but he had no idea how he made me feel. At least he could walk. I’d have never been able to stand on my own two feet so soon.

             
Sitting up straight, I pulled my skirt back down and scooted over by the door. I needed to get out and move to the front but I still wasn’t sure I trusted my legs. Was this even normal? Should a guy be able to make you feel this way? Maybe there was something wrong with me. I shouldn’t be reacting to Rush this way… should I?

             
This was one of those times I really needed a female friend. The only one I had was Bethy and I was pretty sure she wasn’t the best person to give advice when it came to guys. I needed my mom.

             
The ache that set in when I remembered her returned and I closed my eyes to fight it off. I couldn’t let that sadness in right now.

             
The door opened and there stood Bethy smiling at me. “Well, look at you. Making it with the hottest thing in Rosemary in the back of his Range Rover. And here I thought you wanted a blue collar man.” Her words were somewhat slurred.

             
“Climb on in, Bethy, before you fall on your ass out here,” Rush said from behind her. I looked over her shoulder. He looked annoyed.

             
“I don’t wanna leave. I liked Earl, or was his name Kevin? No wait, what happened to Nash? I lost him… I think,” Bethy rambled on as she climbed into the back seat.

             
“Who are Earl and Kevin?” I asked as she gripped the headrest and then fell backwards onto the seat.

          
“Earl is married. He said he wasn’t but he is. I could tell. The married ones always have the smell about ‘em.”

             
What was she talking about?

             
Bethy’s door closed and I started to ask her more when the door beside me opened. I turned to see Rush standing there with his hand held out for me to take. “Don’t try to make sense of anything she says. I found her at the bar finishing up a round of six tequila shots that married Earl had bought her. She’s trashed.”

             
This wasn’t exactly how I had hoped tonight would go. I’d thought downhome country boys would be different. Maybe treat her with respect. But then she was wearing red leather short shorts. I slipped my hand into Rush’s and he squeezed mine. “No need in explaining anything to her tonight. She won’t remember it in the morning.”

             
He was probably right. I stepped out of the Range Rover and he pulled me against his chest before closing the door behind me. “I want a taste of those sweet lips but I’m going to deny myself. We need to get her home before she gets sick,” Rush said in a low husky whisper.

             
I nodded. I wanted him to kiss me too but if Bethy was going to be sick then we needed to get her home.  I started to move away from him but his arms tightened around me. “But what I said earlier. I meant it. I want you in my bed tonight.”

             
Again, all I could do was nod. I wanted in his bed too. I might be as stupid as Bethy when it came to men after all. Rush led me over to the passenger’s side and opened my door for me. “Fuck the friend thing,” he muttered, grabbing my waist to help me up.

             
Grinning, I watched him walk back around the front of the Range Rover and climb in. “What’s the grin for?” he asked once he was behind the wheel.

             
I shrugged. “‘Fuck the friend thing.’ It made me laugh.”

             
Rush chuckled and shook his head before cranking up the Range Rover and pulling out of the now packed parking lot.

             
“I know something you don’t know. Yes I do. Yes I do,” Bethy began chanting in a sing-song voice.

             
I turned back to look at her. She wasn’t smiling but a clumsy frown was plastered on her face. “I know something,” she whispered loudly.

             
“I heard that,” I replied and glanced over and Rush who didn’t appear to be amused.  He wasn’t a fan of drunken Bethy.

             
“It’s a big secret. A huge one… and I know it. I’m not supposed to but I do. I know something you don’t know. You don’t know. You don’t know,” Bethy started singing again.

             
I started to ask her what it was she knew but Rush spoke up first. “That’s enough Bethy.” Rush’s warning was clear. I even shivered from the steeliness in his voice.

             
Bethy clamped her lips together and acted as if she was twisting a key and then throwing it away.

             
I turned back around wondering if she did know something I needed to know. Rush sure acted like she did. He’d looked ready to stop the car and toss her out.

             
Rush began messing with the radio for some music so I decided to remain quiet. Rush was upset because Bethy knew something she wasn’t supposed to know.

             
He had so many secrets surrounding him. There were things he refused to talk about. We were attracted to each other. That didn’t mean he had to tell me all his secrets. Did it? No! Of course not. But once again, was I ready to give a part of myself to someone I didn’t really know? He was so guarded. Would I be able to do this with him and not become attached? I wasn’t sure.

             
Rush’s hand slipped over mine. I glanced over at him and he was watching the road but he was thinking. I wished I could just ask him. But we weren’t there yet. We might never be. Should I give my virginity to a guy who would be walking out of my life soon with no hope of anything more?

             
“That was the best time, ever. I like blue-collar fellas. They’re so much fun,” Bethy slurred sleepily from the backseat. “You should have looked around some more Blaire. It would have been smarter on your part. Rush is a bad idea. ‘Cause there is always Nan.”

             
Nan? I turned to look back at Bethy. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was hanging open. A soft snore escaped and I knew any explanation to that comment wouldn’t be happening tonight.  At least not from Bethy.

             
I turned to look back at Rush whose hand had left mine and was now gripping the steering wheel tightly. His jaw was also clenched. What was the deal with his sister? She was his sister, right?

             
“Is Nan your sister?” I asked, watching him for any reaction. He simply nodded but said nothing more. This was what I’d gotten the last time I brought her up. He completely closed down on me.

             
“What did Bethy mean then? How would us sleeping together affect Nan?”

             
Rush’s entire body was strung tight. He didn’t respond. My heart sank. That secret, whatever it was, would keep us from doing anything more. It was too important to him therefore, it was a warning flag for me. If he couldn’t tell me something even Bethy knew then we had a problem.

             
“Nan is my younger sister. I won’t… I can’t talk about her with you.” The way he said “you” made my stomach turn. Something was off here. I wanted to ask more questions but the sadness and loss that washed over me as I realized I wouldn’t be sleeping in his bed tonight or any other night stopped me. This would keep me from getting too close to Rush. I should have never let him touch me like he did earlier. Not when he could so easily toss me aside.

             
We remained silent all the way to the offices. Rush got out of the Range Rover without a word and woke Bethy up. Then helped her inside. It was locked but Bethy had a key. She had mumbled something about staying the night here or her daddy would kill her. I didn’t go help. I didn’t have the energy. I just wanted to go to bed. I wanted my bed under the stairs. Not the big new one waiting on me.

             
When he got back into the car he was still silent. I tried to figure out why he would shut down like he did over Nan and what Bethy’s comment could mean but nothing made sense. It was only minutes later that we were pulling into the four car garage. I opened my door and climbed down as soon as he put it in park. I didn’t wait for him as I made my way to the door. It was locked so I had to wait on him to come unlock it.