FALL (The Senses) (5 page)

She put
her hand in her pocket and touched the crinkled paper. He’d given it to her
months ago. Words he’d written. Words she didn’t fully understand, but she knew
what they meant all the same. She carried them everywhere and when she went to
bed at night, she read them before placing the note in her nightstand.

She
closed her eyes remembering him, his words. After they met that day at Keir’s
he’d taught her to grapple and track. The lessons were ruthless and he demanded
perfection, and she gave him everything she had. From there he’d taught her how
to make love. Not just any sexual intimacy, but a raw connection that brought
them together as one. Perfectly matched. In complete harmony. She enjoyed his
authority, his control; it left her with no decisions, she could just feel and
enjoy.

She had
the urge to skip, but dignity stopped her, along with the fact that she saw
Jedrik peer out the living room window with a deep scowl on his face. He’d
tease her inexorably if she skipped. Already he was taunting her about the
perm-a-smile on her face. He knew Waleron was expected today. Tye, being a
Taster, was no doubt walking around the house with the flavor of milk chocolate
on his tongue with what she had on her mind. Well, it was better than rotten
milk which a Taster experienced if anger was around them. A Taster learned damn
quickly to control letting in others’ emotions.

“Delara,” Jedrik called as he
came out of the house running towards her. He leapt over a rotting log in his
path, long lithe legs straining at the brisk pace. He stopped in front of her,
feet skidding and stirring up the gravel to cause a cloud of gray dust beneath
his feet.

She
detoured around him. “What, no lasses to woo this afternoon?” she asked over
her shoulder.

“Delara,
stop a sec, would you?” He tried to block her with his body, but she ducked by
him again.

“I
can’t.” She was too excited. Waleron was coming to take her away tonight. They
finally were going to have a few weeks to themselves. He said he had something
special planned.

“Delara...”
Jedrik grabbed her arm, bringing her to an abrupt halt. “Lass, we need to
talk.”

The
moment their gazes clashed her heart plummeted, then began to beat like a
tribal drum. She opened up her scenting ability and immediately smelled the
mixture of fear and desolation emanating from Jedrik’s pores. Okay, maybe his
latest fling had dumped him and he was, for once, actually disheartened or
maybe...

“It’s
Waleron,” he said, the deep valley between his brows deepening. “Frig Sass,
it’s not good.”

Her
breath stopped and her eyes widened with trepidation. Waleron was fine; she’d
feel it if anything happened to him. Their connection was strong and without
borders. Maybe he was going away for a few days and couldn’t tell her himself.
She grunted at the thought—typical.

“The
Lilac... Jesus, Delara.” He dropped his arm from her and wrung his hands
together. Oh God, he looked too serious. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt
the blood drain from her face. “Ah, frig Delara. Waleron is gone. The Lilac
Jasmine, she killed him. Zurina found his blood near the docks, she put her
hands in it and she saw him being stabbed. She saw Jasmine sucking the air from
his lungs. It went dark, Delara. Zurina said it went completely dark.” His
words were rough and pebbled as if he had something lodged in his throat. “Waleron’s
dead.” He hesitated, the shifting in his normally playful eyes revealing the
torture in his words. “Christ, Zurina says it’s like his light went out.”

Delara
remained frozen, the words slipping over her mind as unreal and illogical. It
was impossible. No, Waleron was their Taldeburu, the strongest, the most
impenetrable, immortal. The Lilac could never defeat him.

“No...no!
It’s a mistake.” She couldn’t meet his eyes, unable to face his truth. “Waleron
would never leave me. You will see.” She stepped around Jedrik.

Jedrik pleaded,
“Jesus Christ, Delara. He’s not coming back.”

“No.”

She
heard his running steps trying to catch up with her and she stopped abruptly.
Jedrik walked or strode casually. He never ran. Yet he ran across the yard from
the house, leapt over that log...was running now.

Her legs
gave out just as Jedrik reached her. “No!” she screamed as they both crumbled
to the gravel driveway, Jedrik using his body to cushion her fall. “No. Please
God no. Please, I’m begging you. No. Waleron, please. Please.”

“Delar.
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“No!”
she shouted. “No.” She flailed in Jedrik’s arms, her limbs useless as Jedrik
supported her, trying to keep her from harming herself. Tears streamed down her
cheeks as her mind whirled with devastation hurtling at her as if an out-of-control
avalanche. “No. I’d know. I’d...I’d feel it.” She punched his chest. “He’d
never leave me, Jedrik. He promised.”

“That he
did.” Jedrik kept her trapped in his arms, his soft soothing words doing
nothing for the horror that sifted through her insides. “Shhh, lass. We’ll get
through this. I’ll look after you. We all will.”

“I need
him. Oh god, please... I. Need. Him.” The agony clutching at her soul was
unbearable. “I can’t go...I can’t live without...please, please bring him back.
Bring him back. A Healer—”

“He’s
not coming back, sweetie. I’m sorry. Frig, I’m so sorry.”

The
words ripped through her heart, axing at every ounce of sanity, reality, and
logic. Waleron would never leave her. He promised. He promised they’d be
together for eternity.

A roar
screeched from her lungs and Jedrik grabbed the back of her head and pushed it
into his chest muffling her screams. His hand stroked her hair in a gentle
caress trying desperately to ease the pain. But nothing would ever ease it
again.

She’d
not go on. She couldn’t. Escape. Find him. Help him. Be with him.

“Please
Delara,” Jedrik whispered in a haggard tone. “Please stop.”

She felt
his tears soaking into her hair on the top of her head, his remorse merged with
her own. Nothing could make her stop screaming. She couldn’t control it. The
screams released from her throat with an undistinguishable horror of sound.

“He
promised,” she whispered. “I can’t let him...” The sobs overtook her and she dug
at the gravel, pawing like a wild animal trapped in hell, the stones tearing at
her skin, imbedding beneath her fingernails. “We were going to—to go away. I
love him. Please, I love him. I can’t lose him.”

“I know,
Sass. I know.”

Her
breath came in short, jagged gasps; she desperately tried to control the
darkness that invaded—but there was no return. Living each day without Waleron
was like asking her to live with a knife through her heart, barely beating,
torn in half. Suffocating without his breath.

Another
choking sob wrenched from her throat and she buried her head in her hands.
Alone. Forever.

“I will
always be here, lass. The Talde will help you through this.” Jedrik cradled her
in his arms rocking back and forth.

“I...I...I
need him to survive. To breathe.” It was the truth. She couldn’t imagine waking
every morning to know that the man she loved was dead.

She
struggled against Jedrik’s arms, uncertain what she needed or wanted except
escape. Death maybe.

Anything
but this. This reality that she couldn’t accept.

“I beg
you lass. Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” His grip tightened and she
fought harder, punching at his chest, struggling to be free from his protective
embrace.

Keir
crouched down beside them. “Take her upstairs. Have Zurina put her in Deep
Sleep.” His hand reached out to touch her tear streaked face and then pulled
back before their skin met. “The Talde has your back, Delara. We’re your
family.”

“No.
Don’t take him from me.” Her vision was blurred with tears. She fought Jedrik
as he picked her up.

“I need
to see him.
Let
me see him. He’s not dead. I’d know it! I’d know.”

Her
words were lost to her sobs and the fight to escape the arms holding her. To go
where—she had no idea, but not here, not with the reminder of Waleron all
around her.

Reality
faded away and left behind misery that jigsawed its way through her mind,
ripping it apart and putting it back together again and again.

She felt
her body lower onto a soft, warm surface and fought the comfort. No, she didn’t
want soft. She wanted pain like she was feeling inside.

She
fought the hands on her limbs and the heaviness in her mind as Zurina’s voice
chanted the words of Deep Sleep.

She
fought the life she had to live without him.

Lost

London,
England 1926 (3 months later)

Lost in
an abyss of crushing sorrow, Delara lay curled in a ball on top of the white
cotton sheets. The cool winter breeze shifted the lace curtains as it billowed
through the open window and drove like a hollowing cry across the open expanse
to fall on her trembling form.

Her body
shivered, revolting against her mind begging for warmth, pleading for her to
dive beneath the sheets and huddle under the blanket. The pain was real.
Starving. Thirsty. Cold. The feelings of suffering. Of lost hope. It was the
end and she was reaching for it. She gripped the physical pain with both hands
in order to kill the emotions.

Her love
was lost to her.

“Delara!
For God sake lass, what the devil are you doing?” Jedrik stormed over to the
window and slammed it shut causing the glass vase on the sill to fall and
shatter on the floor. He ignored it, striding back towards the bed. “Frig,
Sass. What the hell?” He grabbed a throw blanket that hung over the end of the
bed and laid it over her pale, shaking figure, tucking it in around her.

Her body
screamed
thank you
while her mind rebelled against the small comfort.
She threw the blanket aside and turned on her other side away from Jedrik and
his expression of horror and…disappointment. For months, she remained alone in
her room, fighting any that tried to make her leave. She became so violent that
finally they all decided it was best to let her be, except for Jedrik. He kept
coming back every day. Weeks ago, he tried to physically force her from the room
and it ended in him wearing a black eye. Since then he’d become more subtle
with his attempts.

Sometimes
he’d sit on the floor near the door and read a book aloud and other times he’d
say nothing at all. She liked those times. His presence lent her strength to
face another day, gave her a reminder that she was alive and, yet, when he left
she hated the thought of surviving.

Lately
he’d been more persistent, speaking in heated tones, urging her to respond,
even threatening to throw her over his shoulder and dunk her in the horses’
trough. Nothing brought her out of the fog and each day became worse.

Alone.
Desolate. Unable to climb from the darkness that kept her locked away. She’d
fallen down a long, dark tunnel. Trapped, yet safe. She lay still, barely aware
of Jedrik’s soothing words.

“Sass,
Xamien, the Taldeburu of Europe is on his way. He’s a powerful Reflection,
Sass. He can help you.”

A hand
smoothed back her hair, but she curled up and turned away.
Leave me alone.
Let me go.
She fell further downward until a shield lowered over her mind
and she went into a cold, dark place—alone.

****

Xamien
shook Jedrik’s hand as he stood outside Delara’s room. “I don’t know how long
it will take to reach her mind. Her shields will be strong with so much grief.”
He nodded towards the open door. “I may need to ask for your assistance, I’m
just uncertain yet what I will find.”

“Anything.
I’ll wait here until you need me. However long it takes. Whatever it takes. She
can’t stay like this. She hasn’t moved in days, almost like she’s in Rest. Her
body has shut down and I can’t even wake her anymore.”

Xamien
felt the love Jedrik had for Delara. It was a love of a brother and sister,
unconditional love. One he should have had with his brother. Xamien knew that
if he had the chance to get into this woman’s mind and soothe her emotions,
alter them, then Jedrik could bring her back the rest of the way.

“I
suspect it will be hours.” Xamien placed his hand on Max’s shoulder. The six-year-old
girl flinched under his hand, but it was less than it was a year ago, after he
rescued her from a horde of vamps. “Go make yourself comfortable, Max. I may be
awhile.”

Jedrik
winked at the timid child. “I’ve told Zurina that you’re here. She’s in the
kitchen and will make you something to eat.”

“Yes
sir.” Max kept her head bowed and gave an insignificant nod before she walked
away.

Jedrik
stared after the girl. “Pretty timid for a Senses. Funny, she acts terrified,
but I swear her emotions read completely opposite.”