Fall Out Girl (8 page)

“I don’t recall ever seeing you at the house,” Mr. Mayor observed.

“It’s my first time here.”

Two uniformed servers brought salads and water. They poured wine for the adults and some sort of soft drink for the rest of us.

“Did you just move to town?” he asked, sipping the red wine.

The empty seat next to me creaked. The scent of Caleb’s familiar cologne filled me with relief. I was afraid he’d have left without me. I glanced at him and saw his eyes were filled with regret and shame. So, Andrew’s boy regretted having brought me to dinner. Well, show time.

“Oh, no, I’ve lived here for about five years. In fact, I had a relationship with Andrew, but we kept it private.” I grabbed a black olive from the salad and popped in my mouth. “We met mostly behind the gym or in my car,” I said with a wink. “Oh, and on occasion, in the janitor’s room.” I truly hoped to show a confidence and poise I was far from feeling. I admit that talking to the mayor was a little intimidating.

“I beg your pardon?” The mayor coughed and spit wine through his mouth and nose.

“Oops.” I turned to a pale Andrew. “You hadn’t told your parents about our relationship?” I shook my head and let out a soft tut-tut. “I thought you had an open line of communication with your parents.”

“Oh, um…” Mrs. Conway intervened nervously. “And how did you and Caleb meet?” she asked.

What part of “we have classes together” had she not understood?

“Oh.” A smile slithered on my face as I reached for Caleb’s hand. “Do you want to tell them, or should I, Love?” I batted my lashes at him.

“Andrew introduced us,” Caleb said. His hand tightened around mine.

A server placed an artistically displayed plate with steak, asparagus, and mashed potatoes in front of me. The sight and smell of the food made my stomach growl. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. With graceful movements, I sliced a knife through the tender meat and brought a piece to my mouth. Though the servers had finished positioning plates to the other guests, they sat inertly with all ears and eyes on me.

In between bites, I continued. “And my, oh my, didn’t we have an immediate connection. One minute I was meeting with Andrew, the next Caleb and I were all over each other. Someone might say it was consistent with the symptoms of bipolar, right Jess? If someone happened to know the symptoms, anyway.”

The mayor cleared his throat and asked, “Have you kids started to think about what colleges you’ll be applying to?”

Andrew rolled his eyes, but he also let a breath out in a clear relief of the change in subject.

“I’m curious to know which colleges you’ll apply for.” Jessica directed the question to me.

“I have my eyes on a few,” I answered evasively. There was no way I would reveal my college choices. My plans were mine alone.

“There are community colleges, with low standards, that you could apply to,” Jessica informed me with a fake smile on her lips.

“Jessica, that’s a very impolite remark,” Mrs. Conway reprimanded.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She looked at me with the eyes of a sniper and added with a forced sweet voice, “I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“No worries. Jessica has a point. According to Confucius, ‘Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.’”

“How about you, Caleb, are you going to Yale like your father?” asked Mrs. Conway, redirecting the conversation.

“I haven’t decided yet,” he said, toying with the food on his plate.

“Are you going to eat that?” I asked. Caleb smiled and switched my empty plate for his.

“Thank you,” I said with a smile.

The rest of the meal was like sailing on a calm lake. Time to make some waves!

I bit off my last piece of asparagus and licked my fingers. “What’s for dessert?” I asked.

“Actually, we’re gonna take a rain check on dessert.” Caleb stood and pulled out my chair before I had time to protest. Shit, shit, shit. I needed more time to leave an impression on the Cahan and Conway clans. We couldn’t leave just yet.

I searched Caleb’s face for an explanation for our sudden departure. Was he afraid of me saying something to further embarrass him? But shock and disappointment surged through me. His face appeared… satisfied, content even, with the evening. Not at all what I had aimed for.

He placed a chaste kiss on his mother’s cheek. “See you at home, Mom.”

“Remember curfew, Caleb,” his father said sternly.

Ignoring his father, Caleb smiled at our host. “Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Conway.” He grabbed my hand, hastily hauling me away from the table.

I glanced back, barely having time to wave a good-bye. The same startled eyes that stared at us when we walked in, stared at us as we stormed out.

Caleb opened the car’s door and ushered me in, his lips had a small smile. The night might have been an epic fail for me, but apparently it was successful for Caleb.

He stepped on the gas, the tires skidding loudly in the silence of the night. He synched his phone to his car speakers and a cheesy song from a new pop band flowed the interior of the car. Shoot me, please. I despised pop music. His eyes, focused on the road, had an expression that I couldn’t decipher. Yep, I, the expert on reading body language, couldn’t figure him out.

I focused on the lyrics of the offensive song. It was mortifying, but I had to admit the song had some substance to it.

“This is not the way to my house,” I mentioned, nodding to the black asphalt stretching in front of us.

“No,” he said, without taking his eyes from the road.

“Where are you taking me?” I demanded.

“To a place where I can kiss you senseless,” he said with a heated and husky voice.

I SEARCHED MY brain for a witty comeback to his remark, but I came up empty. Mark my words, that boy who had me tongue-tied would probably be the end of me.

Slowly, realization slipped through my matted brain. Caleb’s haste to leave was so we could make out. A nervous lump settled in my throat.

I felt my body free-falling in a swirl of conflicted emotions. Truth be told, I was curious about how it would feel to have his lips on mine, feel the warmth of his touch. No, I wasn’t curious. For the first time in my life, I was possessed by a deep desire that scared the hell out of me.

I made a decision to go along with it. Oh, who was I kidding? The tingling and ache in my body demanded that I went along. What better way to get rid of an itch but to scratch it away?

Caleb drove to Gold Sand Park. He parked on the dry grass skirting the deep brown sand. The beach was deserted, and the black water of the ocean reflected the gigantic yellow moon hanging from the sky and the twinkling stars surrounding it.

For two entire seconds, I debated on what would be the best way to proceed. I knew what was coming, but I didn’t know how to act. Yeah, I had hooked up with boys before, but feeling this attracted to someone was completely new to me.

Caleb ended the inner turmoil. With swift movements, he did several things at once. He released his seat belt, slid his seat back, released my belt, and pulled me to his lap. He then cupped my face with both hands and his eyes bored into mine. Only inches separated us. His warm breath caressed and tantalized my skin. He held my gaze for what seemed like an eternity. A blazing hunger that, at the time, I thought was lust, etched his face.

Kiss me already! I thought, tormented by a primal want.

With agonizingly slow movements, his hand released my hair. He groaned softly as he watched it cascade over my shoulders. “Since the first fucking time I saw you, all I’ve been thinking about is kissing you.”

Damn, the words flowing from his lips sounded hot. He wrapped my hair around his wrist and tugged me closer, crushing his lips on mine.

I did not dare try to deter him.

My eyes closed, my lips parted, and my mind filled with the stardust from a collision of bright yellow stars.

His tongue tangled with mine as his mouth devoured me. He tasted like mint and lust.

Fire seared through my veins with the same velocity a comet travels the sky. All I could think was; I want more. My thigh pressed against the evidence of his desire. I felt drunk with passion and need, losing my grasp on the world surrounding us.

Caleb’s hand strained, pulling my hair, causing a sweet ache. I moaned in response. His other hand traveled up and down my side, urgent and desperate.

Without hesitation, I swung my leg and straddled him. His hands flashed to my ass, pulling me against his arousal. I gyrated my hips, and he rewarded me with a groan. His lips trailed along my jaw, down my neck. I threw my head back to give him better access. He bit and sucked the sensitive skin, leaving a trail of flames in his wake.

He licked a sensitive spot behind my ear and growled, “You taste so good, love.” Goosebumps spread across my skin. I was burning from the inside out.

I needed more. I pulled his shirt over his head, and his feverish skin shivered under my anxious fingers. I inched back, pulled my blouse off, and tossed it on the dashboard.

Caleb’s hooded eyes darkened. His swollen lips parted, and he inhaled sharply. I grabbed his hand and brought it to my heaving breast. His touch was reverent. I had never been touched this intimately. I weaved my fingers through his hair and pulled him back to me in an urgent kiss.

We were skin to skin.

Mouth over mouth.

Mingled breaths.

Tangled bodies.

Heartbeat against heartbeat.

We fit perfectly together.

But it wasn’t enough. My need for him turned into an all-consuming, burning, insufferable pain.

We were lost in an explosion of kisses, touches, and grinding. But it still wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted it all. I was dry-humping him unashamedly. My body was lost in space, disconnected from gravity. It was a blissful sensory overload. I had a heightened awareness of my loud heartbeat, the beads of perspiration on my skin, a tingling sensation running through my bloodstream, the throbbing ache between my thighs. And I craved Caleb. I craved more of him. More skin to skin. More. Just more. The desperation with which I wanted him was both terrifying and thrilling.

“The back, let’s go to the back of the car.” I broke the kiss, panting for air. My trembling fingers found the fly on his jeans. “I want you on top.”

“Wow, love. Fuck. Wait.... Wait.” Caleb’s hands circled my wrists. He brought my hands behind my back and rested his head on the center of my chest. “A minute. Just give me a minute,” he said in a tortured voice.

Slowly I descended from my cloud of lust, and my mind snapped back to reality. I looked around us. The car window was foggy, and I no longer could see the stars. I was disoriented, dizzy even. It felt as if an undertow had abruptly dragged me to the bottom of the ocean, and when I sucked in looking for air, a stream of salty water saturated my lungs. Drowning in embarrassment was an awful way to die.

I tried to scoot away from Caleb’s lap, but his arms tightened around me.

“Let go of me,” I said. My voice was dripping with the embarrassment from his rejection.

“Please, don’t. Don’t.” His voice was just a whisper, but it carried such an agonizing plea that I relented. I rested my head on his naked chest and closed my eyes. Slowly, our breaths settled down.

Caleb released my wrists, and his hands cupped my face. “Luna, look at me.”

I opened my eyes. We were so close, that even under the dimmed light I could see the small crease in between his eyes. My hands rested on his chest, and I felt his heart thumping beneath my fingers. We were still naked from the waist up, making it painfully intimate. I wanted to raise the walls surrounding my heart. Keep him out.

“You have no idea how bad I want you. I do. Madly. But not like this. Not in the back of a car.”

My hand curled into a tight ball. I shuttered my eyes closed and tried to free my face from his hold.

“Open your eyes, love,” he commanded, holding my face firmly.

Even though I knew that at that moment, he would see all of me, I opened my eyes and peered at him. The many secretive facets of me, hidden deep inside my soul, exposed, disrobed for him to see. The fearful, the lonely, the broken, the ugly, the hopeful.

“You deserve better, Luna,” he said solemnly.

I bit my lip to stifle the sob that was rising in my throat. If I thought the attraction I felt for him was confusing, the feelings he evoked with his tenderness were unfathomable.

He reached behind me and retrieved my shirt. With gentle movements, he dressed me. It was a sublime experience. It had been too long since I had been the recipient of such a tender gesture. If I was feeling vulnerable before, at that moment I was as defenseless as an infant.

“I’ll take you home.”

I settled in the passenger seat and adjusted my blouse. We rode in silence. Nothing he could have said would release me from the pit of self-deprecation I’d thrown myself in. I was thankful for his quietness.

As soon as the car stopped in front of my house, I reached for the door. But Caleb grabbed my arm, halting me.

“Hey, I had a great time tonight.”

I looked at him and raised a brow.