Fall From Grace (25 page)

‘But why though?’ said Steve. ‘If she was a Nazi sympathiser then I can square that with what she got up to in the war years…’

‘… I’m glad you can,’ said Sara.

‘Ma’am, only in respect of her wanting to do anything to help the cause back then,’ Steve explained. ‘But what would be her motivation for doing it now? I assume she must be making money out of it somewhere along the line but she doesn’t need it.’

‘How could a man keep his daughter and grandchildren in the cellar of his house for all those years without anybody finding out?’ said Sara. ‘How could a woman, who was also a mother, get herself involved with a paedophile ring? If a mind is that warped then the person it belongs to won’t see what the rest of us do.’

‘Good point, ma’am,’ said Steve.

‘We’re bringing her back in for questioning,’ said Sara. ‘Her days of getting away, literally, with murder, are well and truly numbered.’

FIFTEEN

Paul let himself into his parents’ house and knew straight away that he was too late. The air was still and cold but somehow peaceful. He went into his parents’ room where his mother was standing by the bed. His father had passed away.

‘He’s gone,’ she announced.

‘When?’ asked Paul, looking down at his father’s still face.

‘About seven this morning,’ his mother answered flatly. ‘The doctor’s just left. The undertaker will be here any minute. Your Uncle Leonid has just gone round to the shop.’

Paul felt his heart break into little pieces. He rubbed his hand across his mouth and looked intensely at his father who was now free of the pain that had so wracked him these past months. He leaned down and kissed his father’s forehead.

‘She couldn’t bear to see him in such pain,’ said Mary ‘Same as she couldn’t bear to see him lying here like this. She’s doesn’t like playing the hero like you do.’

‘You unspeakable bitch!’

Paul was exasperated with her. He walked out of the bedroom and stood in the hallway. He leaned against the wall to steady himself. He felt the most incredible loneliness, like there was a cold wind blowing all the way through his soul. Then his mother came out of the bedroom and brushed past him.

‘Mum, for crying out loud will you stop sticking the knife into me!’ he pleaded desperately. ‘Please, just for today. I’m breaking up here.’

‘And I should care?’

Paul walked out of the kitchen and into the lounge where he sat down and put his head in his hands. He sensed when his mother came into the room but didn’t look up.

‘Your father, your big hero, left me for your mother but when you came along and her family rejected all three of you I, like the stupid fool I was, took him back and took you as my son too. I’ve regretted the decision since the day he walked up the path with you in his arms. I hated the sight of you then and I still do. If it hadn’t been for your mother getting her rotten claws in, we’d have been happy as a family of three. Denise would’ve wanted for nothing. But then you came into this house and ruined everything. Your mother destroyed my marriage. You destroyed the rest of my life.’

The three of them locked into an embrace. Paul was relieved that they’d forgiven him for his spitefulness. He really needed his friends now.

‘I lashed out because I love Jake, Kelly,’ said Paul, ‘and I’m petrified for him.’

‘I know,’ said Kelly. ‘I know all of that, love. But you’ve got to deal with the loss of your Dad first. Paul, it’s all true. Mary isn’t your mother. Your mother was Clarissa, the lady who gave your Dad the watch that he gave you.’

‘I’d like to know what they are,’ said Paul. ‘He said that this Clarissa would want me to have the watch but I didn’t know what he meant. Now, I do. Christ.’

Kelly handed Paul the letter his father had given them. ‘He asked us to give you this once he’d… once he’d gone. He said it’ll explain everything.’

Paul wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what the hell to even think.’

‘Read the letter, Paul,’ said Lydia. ‘We’ll leave you to it. We’ll be in the kitchen.’

Paul ripped open the envelope and was immediately comforted by his Dad’s familiar handwriting. Then he started to read what it said.

Dear Paul,

There’s so much I have to tell you about that I almost don’t know where to start. You’re probably annoyed with me because, no doubt, you now know that Mary isn’t your mother and, to put it mildly, it will have come as quite a shock. But there’s a lot more to it than just that, son, and I hope that by the time you finish reading these words, you’ll be able to understand that I did what I thought was best at the time.

When I was younger I was a member of the British Fascist movement. We believed in reclaiming British society for the white British race and we didn’t hold with accepting other cultures. We did things, Paul, that now I’m not proud of, but I can’t wipe them out. I was a fascist. I believed in the supremacy of the white race. I sympathised with Hitler. I know you have views that are opposed to this perspective, Paul, and I’ve never admitted my involvement before, but I’m admitting to it now and I seek your understanding. I didn’t want any immigration. I didn’t want the Jews controlling everything, including worldwide sympathy for the Holocaust. I believed in self-reliance. I thought that apartheid was the best way of creating racial harmony by keeping the races apart with one, the white race, as superior. That’s how I got on so well with Lady Eleanor, your Uncle Leonid, and Dieter Naumann.

I went out with your Uncle Leonid for a few pints one night and met Clarissa in a pub near Glossop. It was love at first sight for both of us. We became friends but we couldn’t resist the rest of the journey. I was married but not happily, in fact, I was desperately unhappy. It’s an age old classic story of unhappily married man meets nice girl in a pub one night but I really did love your mother more than I can put into words. She was a lovely young woman, strong but with a nice, gentle temperament and I’ve always seen so much of her in you.

Your mother and I had to keep our relationship secret from her parents because they didn’t approve. Not because I was married. Oh no, they had no such simple scruples as that. Lady Harding and her husband didn’t approve because I was from a class that they considered beneath them. It was okay for me to organise things in the British Fascist movement for them and be useful to them in that way. But I mustn’t get above myself and think I could get involved with their daughter. Oh no, that was unthinkable. I was bloody annoyed at the time because after all I’d done for them I felt like they were slapping me in the face. You can understand that, can’t you?

Anyway, love wasn’t something they believed in and in any case, they didn’t give a damn about your mother. But when I met your mother and we fell in love, I’d have done anything to please her. She wanted me to have nothing to do with fascism and I gave it all up for her. She needed me, Paul. I was one of the only people to show her any kindness, to show her that she was worth someone’s affection and devotion. We were in love and in our own little world we were happy. But hell wasn’t far away.

I eventually left Mary and moved into a flat with Clarissa. Her parents were vehemently against it but we didn’t care. Then when we found out that your mother was expecting you and we were on top of the world. She went home to tell them. That’s when it turned ugly. They locked her in her room and Dieter Naumann drugged your mother and he was about to perform an abortion when me and your Uncle Leonid got there just in time and stopped him. We took your mother back to our flat in Urmston and that’s where she stayed until you were born.

After you were born we were even happier. It was only a tiny flat we had but we got it looking really nice. I was aware that it was all way short of what your mother was used to but she didn’t mind. We were content in this little world we’d created with the three of us. But your mother wanted her parents to acknowledge her happiness and to acknowledge you. She took you to see them. I went with her of course. After what had happened last time I wasn’t going to let her go on her own. You were only a few weeks old. She was so proud. She was so happy to have had you, Paul, and whatever you think, you’ve got to believe that and hold onto it.

Anyway, suffice to say that she had an almighty row with her parents and something must’ve snapped in me. I shot Ronald Harding. I feel as if it had happened yesterday. You were crying your heart out in your pram. I’d shot Ronald Harding. There were even droplets of his blood on your pram. It was the most hideous, the most evil scene I’d ever come across. Then your grandmother struggled to get the gun off Clarissa. I waded in to help. But then the gun went off and your mother was dead. Did I have my finger on the trigger at the time? Yes is the answer to that one. But I was trying to save your mother, Paul. You must see that?

I was in a mess, Paul. Your Uncle Leonid arranged for me to take you away on condition that I never contacted her Ladyship again. Your Uncle Doug and Aunty Sheila who, as you know, have never been able to have children, suggested that they adopted you, but son, I couldn’t go through the pain of losing both you and your mother. That’s when I went back to Mary and took you with me. Looking back, I should’ve let Doug and Sheila adopt you, or I should’ve brought you up by myself. I made the wrong decision, son, and I’ve bitterly regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me that.

Paul, because of your birthright your grandmother, Lady Eleanor, will be contacting you and before you make any hasty decisions, I ask you to remember that your heritage comes through your mother who was an angel and a woman who’d have been the best mother in the world to you had she got the chance. You owe it to her not to just turn your back on what you’ve gained from being her son.

I kept a lot of photographs of your mother and of you with her and of the three of us together. They’re with my solicitor and naturally I’ve left them to you in my will. I know that photographs can’t ever replace what could’ve been but at least they’ll give you something of a time when the three of us were together and so very happy.

Don’t think badly of me, son. I know I should’ve told you all this when I was still around for you to ask me all the questions that must be springing into your head right now. But it was hard for me, Paul and in time you may come to understand that. You know how proud of you I’ve always been and I know your mother would’ve been proud of you too. You’ve always had steel in your character that you must’ve got from your mother’s side and you’ll really need it now and for whatever lies ahead. This has all been dropped on you, Paul, I know, but I also know you’ll find your way through it because you’ve got that strength.