Fall From Grace (26 page)

I have to admit I've been a little giddy about the looming date as this means I can get the hell out of dodge and start living. I've managed get Dad to land me a sweet apartment in New York for the summer before school, claiming I could use a fresh start to become inspired and re-prioritize my goals (parents love that ambitious Shit). I do agree that I'm really lucky to have been able to score this, but Dad has seen me work my ass off at Grant's for years and he passes it as his graduation gift to me. Personally I think it's because him and Age have gotten quite comfy lately and he probably wants me out of the house so they don't have to sneak around anymore. I don't know who they think they're kidding but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know when someone's relationship has gone from friend to fondle.

Regardless, I just need to get this night over with so I can get going and see what sort of demon characters I can befriend in the big apple. I mean, this one power is great but really isn't satisfying me like it did in the beginning. I want more, I need more. I need to lose myself in the feeling it lends me. It's like a high I just can't explain. My whole body is on fire, but in a good way, and I can feel every nerve ending standing up and dancing. When I'm using, I no longer have to think or do anything, I can just 'be' and revel in that moment which I wish would last forever.

As I enter our backyard I see Harve in the distance galloping towards me. He nearly knocks me over with his slobbery enthusiasm which sends a pang to my chest as a reminder of the life I'm leaving behind. Perhaps this big old beast will be the thing I'll miss most of all. I give him some lovin' and jump up the steps of the back porch two at a time. Dad should be home early today and I suppose I should clean myself up a little.

My room has become a disaster zone with clothes strewed about, half packed boxes, and big bags I've accumulated to give to charity once I move out. I've included all my lame dress up garb and most of my supernatural book collection which to be honest I really don't need anymore considering I can now live it instead of read it.
 

I step over some big clothes piles and slunk down on the bed to haul off my black boots. Todays outfit finds a nice free spot on the floor next to my night stand as I make my way into the bathroom for a nice long shower. After washing my face, I can see that make up is really needed these days. My glow-y period ended I suppose, as the dark circles are more pronounced and my skin looks a little sallow; I guess I haven't been sleeping all that well lately either. I make a mental note to head to the drugstore tomorrow and stock up on concealer, then jump in the shower.

I can hear Dad bustling about in the kitchen as I make my way downstairs.

"There she is! Miss Graduation Girl!" Sung to the tune of Miss America. Gee clever Dad.

Age is there too and captures me in a big hug before I can make fun of him.

"My God I can't believe you are done high school. Time to look to the future!" She sends me a wink not understanding how right she is.

"So how does my brilliant girl feel today? Ready to snatch up that diploma and take on the world?" His enthusiasm is a little catching but I've mastered the art of never succumbing to parental excitement so I'm able to maintain my sullen attitude.

"Yup, I can't wait to get that one piece of paper that means absolutely nothing to my future besides finding a place in a drawer that I never have to look at again."

"That's the spirit! Ok so we should get moving or we'll be late. We still on for dinner after Stell or did you make plans with anyone?" Sneaky. He knows I've been on the outs with Gabs and pretty much the whole social scene, so a well disguised query into whether I have gotten a life or not.

"I, uh, have plans actually Dad, can I take a rain check?"

"Of corse! Not a problem, you go out and have fun and we'll see you in the morning!"

"Morning?"

"Well it IS graduation Stella, the one night that curfews don't count, better enjoy it." He gives me a big grin and a wink and ushers me out the door as Age barrels into a story about her big high school grad party and how she ended up getting caught by hotel security skinny dipping with Peter Morton at the Burlington Hilton.
 

I've done very well in my solitary confinement as of late but this sends me into a bit of a panic on what plans I'm going to come up with for tonight. The thought of going to a big party bores me, but perhaps I should suck it up and have one last hurrah with these humans.

The diplomas have been handed out, the caps have been thrown into the air and I've fake smiled through about a hundred photo ops from Dad to mark this momentous day. Well, that's what he keeps telling me anyways. Some of the shots are just me, some with Dad, some with Age, some with Dad and Age, some just Dad (wha?), I mean how many do we actually need? They are loving this wing ding and envelop me into a big hug every chance they get. Before sending me off on my night 'o fun, I give them a lame thumbs up and push them through the door so that I can collect my thoughts and figure out what's next. I brought Murrie so at least I can escape at any given moment.

I overheard Francine animatedly talking about the big AlessaU throw down at Gibson Hill which is basically a field, surrounded by trees, on (you guessed it) a hill. The whole town rallies behind our grad night, even the cops, who become pretty lenient in their duties one night a year, keeping a low profile and basically making sure there are no dumb drunk kids getting behind the wheel. Apparently the senior class hired a DJ, set up a big sound system and garnered some kegs. Everyone pitches a tent and parties until the wee hours. Sounds like a plan. Kill me now.

I pop down my oversized sun glasses and park myself on a bench to take in my fellow students in their revelry. Girls are giggling, guys are actually hugging and everyone seems so very happy. It's making me sick.
 

I see Gabs in the distance in a stunning red number saying good-bye to her folks whom I have been able to duck the whole night. The last thing I need is Mrs. C giving me the lecture on making up and playing nice. For all I know, they are oblivious to our recent rumble and I'd like to forget it ever happened.
 

The party was everything I had imagined it would be. Drunk and annoying. Perhaps awhile ago this would have been great fun but as I surveyed the gaggles of girls and guys getting all sentimental on cheap booze, I really think it's my time to book it. I've managed to hide in a quiet spot near an old oak tree where I can sit and enjoy a red bull and take in the action without any participation. I've pretty much managed to escape any sort of human contact whatsoever. Or so I thought.

"Hey Stella, didn't think I'd see you here." It was Gabby.

I peer up at her and can tell she is visibly drinking but not quite hammed yet. "Hey Gabriella. Having fun?" I say looking past her.

"Getting there. You?" she asks.

"Barrels."

"Congratulations on graduating. Oh and I heard you're leaving right away to spend the summer in New York? That sounds right up your alley... " She trails off, beginning to shift uncomfortably from side to side, as she peels at her cooler label.

"Um yeah, should be peachy." I really can't think of anything to ask her. I stare back to the crowd taking a big haul on my beverage which I wished was alcoholic at this point.

"Will I see you around at all this summer? Maybe we could go out and..."

"Look Gabby, enough with the chit chat. I can tell how uncomfortable you are and I'm sure you're just making nice because you feel bad seeing as how I got dumped just like you said I would. So, here is my
you were right, I was wrong admission
. Yes, he was a real asshole. Yes, I was stupid. Yes, you tried to warn me. Yes I should have listened. Happy now?"

"Why would I be happy Stella? I'm not here to gloat and rub it in."

"Then why ARE you here? We haven't spoken in weeks and I think I made it pretty clear sitting nearly hidden by this Fucking tree that I want to be left alone. Please enlighten me on your stellar intentions." It did come out harsher then I thought but who cares anyways. In a century, she'll be dead and I won't, so why keep these human ties longer then necessary.
 

"Wow I thought maybe I overreacted, maybe I was wrong, but I guess I was bang on; you have really gone off the deep end Stella. It's over, we've
graduated
. I thought at least we could part on good terms. Did the last few years mean anything to you? Anything at all?" Her voice catches slightly on that last part. I've had enough of this as I get up off the ground and brush the dirt off my jeans and turn to walk away.

"You have no light in you anymore Stella. It's gone and you know it," she calls after me.

This stops me dead in my tracks as I slowly turn to face her. "What does THAT mean?"

"What it means is that I no longer see any part of you that used to be my friend - my best friend. Since HE left, you've been going through the motions of living but there's absolutely no one home, is there? Walking around with that dark cloud perched on your shoulders, bitching at anyone who'll get up the nerve to actually talk to you. You're personality sucks right now and my
intention
was to come over and try to help you, but I see I'm far too late for that."

"I don't
need
your help Gabriella, I never
needed
your help. You treated me like an inferior, keeping me around so you could always one up me. I resent the fact that you think you can 'save' me when all you're really doing is making yourself feel better. Oh well, I tried. I tried to help that poor, lost, Stella. Tried to make her see reason but no, she is too far gone. Thank God I can now focus all on me again, get loaded, and let some random guy get down my pants."

Her eyes have started to well up and I think she's about to start bawling which, to be honest, I have never seen before. This makes me even more angry. How dare she do this to me, pretend to be some saint that needs to rescue me. Little does she know that I can hold my own and plop a boulder down on her head at a moments notice. Her lips have started to tremble as she looks at me in absolute horror at what I've just said.

"Have a good life Gabby," I say as I storm off.

Once inside the comfort zone of Murrie I spend a moment to calm down before driving. I can tell my anger is making my super natural side perk up in attention. The last thing I need right now is to create some sort of freak sink hole that swallows up the class of 2012; or maybe that isn't such a bad idea.

ASH

"Another." I holler to the barman, although I don't know why I bother as I can't seem to get any sort of buzz on tonight. As he slides another beer over to me, I push my empty to the side and stare blankly at the bottle.

No matter how hard I've tried, how many drinks I've consumed, how many wicked fights I've picked, I can't seem to forget about her. I've been holed up in this local crappy motel for weeks now, unable to move forward.
 

After I left the woods, I drove straight to Burlington, spent a few days drinking myself blind, then felt more miserable because it. I thought that if I did some research and tried to find out as much as I could about ability absorbers it might give me some insight to the power and confirmation that I did the right thing in telling her to forget it.
 

I drove up to Montpelier but there really wasn't much info I could garner from that branch of 'The Register'. I think I'd be better off heading back to the New York office but I can't seem to bring myself to leave just yet. About the only info I could dig up was that it was extremely rare (duh) with only one other recorded instance back in the 1400's. It wasn't too encouraging either as dude wound up consumed by power, drove himself mad and ended up dead at 21. 21 human years - a kid.

The only person I called was Hunter who, I think, tried to be sympathetic but in guy speak meant that he asked me to come back to L.A., spend some time wreaking havoc on the club scene with him and forget about some chick who is better off without jerks like us. I keep telling myself this, every second, but I still don't feel any better. The look on her face when I left her haunts me when I close my eyes at night. My only solution so far is to get to the point of passing out. Solid plan Ash.

"This seat taken?" A sultry voice from behind my left shoulder asks.

"I don't own the place. Go ahead." I hear the scrapping of stool legs across the dirty linoleum as I unfortunately gain a bar neighbour. I have no energy to make small talk, it's not worth the effort tonight. I take another large drink and play with the condensed label. I can tell she's looking at me and trying to catch my attention. She's a demon, that's for sure, please don't let it be an ex; I couldn't handle the drama right now. Her voice sounds very hot as she orders a beer. No nonsense, good for her. After a few sips, she breaks the silence.

"You seem to be carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders tonight Mr. Grey. Penny for your thoughts?"

With a jolt, I look to my left to see a breathtaking blond staring at me with a smug smile on her face. Crap, do I know this person? I'd like to think I would remember a face like that, but some nights are hazier then others. She's older then me, but still definitely hot. Maybe a nice female distraction is what I need tonight, she just looks so familiar? Think, think, think.