Fall Apart (12 page)

It was no wonder. He’d apparently grown up in London, raised by his aunt and uncle. Mandy had gotten it wrong about the uncle being a diplomat, though he did work for the Finnish Embassy. She’d never mentioned in her
Alarik Elo For Dummies
lecture series that he wasn’t actually English. He was born in Helsinki to Finnish parents and raised in London. There wasn’t any direct mention of what had happened to his folks, but Damon got the idea that they were still around and not at all a part of Alarik’s life. The other man spoke of his aunt and uncle as though they were all the parents he’d ever needed.

Damon tried to imagine a world without his mom and dad, growing up in the shadow of dignitaries, emissaries and VIPs. He didn’t think he’d hold up too well at their dinner table under what had to be pretty strong scrutiny. He was a kid from Ventura; his world was valuable, but limited in scope, and Alarik’s upbringing was completely opposite his own.

It was difficult not to weigh himself in comparison.

However, the moment those thoughts entered his head, he shoved them out. The only thing he’d trade about his childhood was his dad’s poor health. He’d make his father healthy, able to do everything with his kids that he wanted to do. That’s all. Damon’s life was rich with friendships and it was rooted. There was nothing wrong with that. It was simply
different
.

Damon was still a man of means, even if he wasn’t a man of money.

Alarik came across as a hard worker with more than the usual hard working man’s need to get what he wanted. He had a spark. He didn’t brag; he was compellingly earnest. Relentless. Passionate.

Damon wanted him more than he’d wanted anyone in a long time.

***

His mom’s call to duty was waiting to be carried out so Damon had Alarik drop him off at his truck. They didn’t kiss again, but there was this moment as he reached to open the car door that Alarik leaned in close. He breathed in through his nose as he inched nearer and when his mouth was hovering over Damon’s ear, he chuckled. Goosebumps shot up like rockets over his entire left side and his dick slid onto center stage with top hat and cane, ready to fucking
dance.

“Until next time, Mr. Wright,” he said in a velvety soft whisper.

Damon swallowed and half-fell, half-climbed from the car. He wasn’t as good at this as Alarik. His brain was shooting out electrical pulses so quickly that he felt like a live wire near rushing water. He waved weakly as he got behind the wheel of his truck and watched Alarik’s car leave the lot. All the extra energy thrumming through him made him itch. The uneasiness that always came knocking when eligible men appeared was easier to dismiss when Alarik was beside him or across from him, weaving whatever magic it was that he weaved. When he left, Damon didn’t enjoy the sensation of shakiness—fragility—that his departure caused. He’d been alone a long time and this needy response to a man was foreign and unforgiving. It lashed whip-like against him, angering him…weakening him.

No one he’d ever known had this effect on him. Damon wasn’t even aware he could feel this way until now.

He drove to his parent’s after texting Todd and demanding his presence for dinner. It was a veiled plea for the familiar and for the steadiness he currently lacked. He tried to pretend it wasn’t about that, making excuses that Jess could use a distraction and she hated Todd almost as much as he hated her. The two of them were unable to find a redeeming quality in one another going on twenty years now. In the end, though, Damon knew as much as having Todd around would keep everyone occupied, it was also to save himself from drowning.

Davey crowed his name as the truck came to a stop. He was playing tee-ball in the way of four year olds everywhere. Very poorly.

Damon slammed the driver’s door and jogged across the lawn to pull his nephew into a hug. Those little arms around his neck and the excited wriggling grounded him and he set Davey back down with a contented sigh.

“Come play,” Davey demanded, gesturing wildly with his plastic bat.

Damon gave him a push toward the tee. “Gimme a minute to talk to your Grampa.”

Leo Wright was doing the one-eyed sneak nap in a chair on the front porch. His color was good today, Damon noted with relief. Instead of wearing the battery pack for the device that helped pump blood through his heart, the LVAD, he’d set it on the table beside his chair. He seemed comfortable where he was, his hands resting gently in his lap.

At the sound of Damon’s foot on the bottom step, his eyes blinked open and he grinned at his son.

“Hey, Pops,” Damon reached out and grasped his dad’s knee for a second.

Leo took a look at him and then he took a second, closer look. “What’s with you?”

“What?”

“You high?”

“What?” Damon almost screeched, his skin going tight.

“Your eyes look wild. Shifty.”

Damon sat in the chair across from his dad and kicked his feet out in front of him, indulging in a stretch. “That’s the giveaway for drug use, is it?”

“That’s what they say on all those legal shows.”

“I’m not high,” he muttered, shooting a quick glance through the porch railings to see Davey knocking over the tee again.

“I hear things about you.”

Damon lifted a hand to hide the smile that flew to his lips. His dad had been watching
The Godfather
again. He’d “heard things.” That meant that ma closed up shop and dropped the British Invasion bomb. He wondered if she still thought the accent was great, or if her generally suspicious nature had ended that momentary weakness.

“She actually said something nice about this one, but she said it in a mean way,” Leo whispered, looking over his shoulder to make sure his wife wasn’t going to jump out from behind a potted plant and smite him.

“Oh, well, if she said it in a mean way, the world hasn’t tipped off its axis.”

“She said he has the
look of royalty
, or a cologne advertisement, but he probably
knows
it and because of that he’s more likely to be a
little shit
.”

Damon groaned at the same time that Davey loudly whined his name. “Mom knows how to cover her bases. She’s right about two of those four things, if it makes you feel better knowing.”

His dad’s eyes lost the glimmer of amusement and he carefully adjusted the way he was sitting. Damon knew something big was coming because, like his mom, his dad didn’t typically delve into the very personal areas of his son’s love life. His support was complete and enduring, but he didn’t think it was his place to go digging for details.

Not that he really wants to dig, Damon thought.

“Davey, you wait patiently for your uncle!” Leo scolded his grandson with a barely raised voice. Davey went into full pout mode, but he was quiet about it. “What’s this young man’s name from today?”

Damon’s throat tightened as an image of Alarik’s face took over his mind. He had to clear his throat twice in order to speak. “His name’s Alarik.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

The memory of that heated moment in the car and Alarik’s whispered words made him flush. He made a noise that was supposed to be a “yes.”

Leo let that sink in before he finally nodded like he knew it all along. “Don’t worry about your mom,” he said, his voice deep and reassuring. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”

Todd’s car pulled up in front of the house and Damon thanked his dad before meeting his friend halfway up the walk. Davey was manfully resetting his tee again and ignoring them as revenge for getting in trouble. Todd tried to get his attention with a wave and an offer of a high five, but Davey glared and turned his back.

“What’s up with the kid?” Todd grumbled. “Did he learn that from his mom?”

“He didn’t learn it from me,” Damon agreed without saying the words.

A quick wave and greeting were exchanged with Leo before Todd shifted around to lay one hell of an appraising stare on Damon. His eyes flicked over him twice, up and down, and he crossed his arms like a vexed genie. Even wearing sweats and looking like he’d rolled off the couch to drive over, he could still manage an effective forbidding stare.

“I didn’t think I’d see you until next weekend, and then your summons arrived.” The question was hidden in there, between the words. “You look freaked out.”

“So I’m told.”

Todd was acting like he had no problem waiting out the story, so Damon pushed aside the pride and let his weirdness flow.

“Alarik came down to the store. He’s staying in Santa Barbara for a week, or something like that, and he drove down to ask me out.” Shifting back and forth from foot to foot, and looking warily over his shoulder, Damon knew he looked like an idiot.

Todd’s eyes narrowed meaningfully and the nervous shifting naturally increased. “Mr. Bond made a move, huh?”

“Do you think it was too big of a move?” Damon rushed the question and then had to clamp his lips shut to silence himself.

His friend was trying hard to hide how tedious he thought their conversation was going to be. Todd wasn’t patient with other’s insecurities. Nor was he patient with his own. Damon knew it, he appreciated it, and he asked again anyway.

“Day, how do you think this is supposed to work…? Dating, I mean. Somebody’s got to make a move one way or another for a relationship to begin. If it didn’t happen that way, the whole world would be full of people too amped up to do anything with their time besides masturbate. Why question this? It’s a move. He
made a move
.”

Damon shrugged guiltily and Todd groaned, sending an imploring look to the skies.

“I’ll cut you some slack here because your dating life is limited to Taint #1 and Taint #2. That first guy wrecked you like Ella did to me, and you came out the other side of it only to land in Andrew’s lap. I don’t think your British boy crept out of an alley to tear you apart and leave the pieces.”

“But, he’s… I dunno,
relentless
—”

“Yeah, it must suck to be wanted by a guy who seems nice and mentally stable for once.”

Davey was slowly approaching on Todd’s six, displeased with the way his tactics were being overlooked. He was apparently changing the plan to a more direct assault. Damon hoped his nephew hamstringed his buddy with a bat to the back of the legs.

“We don’t technically know that Alarik is mentally stable,” he pointed out coolly.

Todd grunted. “If this is going to turn into a conversation about how you don’t feel worthy of being pursued by a non-asshole, then you can rescind my invitation and I’ll float outta here backward, man.”

“Cute.”

“I think so,” Todd winked, then suddenly spun around and snatched Davey off the ground, roaring. Davey’s shrieks and giggles probably had cats descending on the house from all directions, but Todd didn’t let it distract him from his purpose. “Day, you’re the bees knees, brother. You take care of your family; you take care of your friends. You’re fit. You even like walking on beaches, I bet. I swear to God, I’ve wished more than once that I were gay because we could get hitched and never have to worry about anything again. Shit,” he breathed, “give me a couple more months with drama like the last weekend and I might downshift into boy love.”

Valerie was taking a toll, Damon supposed, but until Todd wanted to discuss it, there weren’t going to be many more details offered on the subject. If he tried for more info, Todd would clam up.

“Take those great big balls of yours and have some fun for once,” Todd added, spinning Davey again, and then setting him on his feet.

Davey squealed and asked, “Uncle Day has great big balls?”

“You bet he does, kid. He’s just not using them right now.”

Damon cursed under his breath, walking away. “Thanks for that, man. Telling him that kind of stuff is part of why Jess hates your guts.”

“Do I get to provide my list of reasons why I hate hers?”

Molly stepped out onto the porch just then and Todd transformed in an instant. He flirted and chatted, and even went so far as to nod Jess’s direction when she eventually made an appearance, thought it pained him to do so. Her eyes were puffy like she’d spent the day crying, which she probably had, and she didn’t engage with them, walking away instead to play with her son.

His sister was halfway down the porch steps when Davey called out loud enough for the neighbors to hear, “Uncle Todd says Uncle Day has great big balls!”

Jessica shot back around with the fiery glare of Satan and Todd shrugged. It was a bold move on his part.

“Lord have mercy,” Leo moaned. “I’m gonna need a new heart a lot sooner if she keeps this up…”

“Hey, babe, you awake over there?”

Mark gave a start of surprise as Zane’s voice filtered in over the lulling drone of the TV. He had to push the pile of blankets out of the way in order to get the other man in his line of sight. “Hmm?” he said sleepily. He hadn’t been lights out, but he’d been close to it.

“Do you mind looking this over?”

“A script?” A yawn hit him that was so wide his jaw popped.

Zane didn’t answer, simply handing him a stapled stack of paper. His mouth was tight, like whatever was about to happen was pivotal. Mark dragged himself back up into a sitting position and rubbed a hand over his face to wake himself. His eyes were bleary and he knew that the time of reading glasses was upon him.

“Nowhere, Idaho…” He flipped it open. “
INT. CHEAP HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
,” he read aloud. About fifteen minutes later he stopped reading mid-sentence and let the script fall to his lap. “You gotta do this.”

“Yeah? Really?” Zane was nervous. “Tell me what you think so far.”

“It’s gripping; my heart’s fucking hammering over here. You’ll be terrifying—shaved head, fake tattoos…” Mark shivered.

The script was based on the true story of an undercover agent in a sting operation against a white supremacist gang. The agent was in very deep, having attained a quasi-leadership position, and suspicion against him was mounting. Zane would have to shave his head and get
Fight Club
lean for the role, but he could do it. So far, just the small amount that Mark had read was so visceral that he knew seeing it acted out in front of him would be cringe-worthy in that edge-of-your-seat sort of way.