Faithless (38 page)

             
Yelena looked alarmed - as if she were about to come and hug him and protect him from her wicked husband.

             
Bebur gestured for him to continue sitting. "You must understand we have to be sure. You could be a provocation to lure us out and cause us harm."

             
John nodded. "I understand. But my side was chosen for me."

             
Bebur shook his head. "No. You could have joined them. They accepted you as one of their own. They would think you are betraying them."

             
"If I don't help you, I betray what I am."

             
Bebur changed the subject. He no longer explored John's motivation, but instead sought to strengthen it. "You know the time and money MI5 puts into identifying left wing "subversives". You know they follow and listen to people who demand workers rights."

             
"I know very well."

             
"But they put little into into identifying fascist groups."

             
"Half an officer. She deals with Scottish and Welsh Nationalists too."

             
Bebur nodded. "And if the West loves democracy and hates dictatorships, why does it fund right wing death squads in South America? Why does it fund dictatorships in Libya and Iraq who torture and "disappear" whoever speaks against them?"

             
"They don't hate dictatorships when they protect business and capital. They only target people who speak up for the poor."

             
"And who funds Reagan and Thatcher?"

             
"Millionaires who don't want the State giving healthcare and education for the poor."

             
Bebur appeared satisfied. "We think alike. I am proud to call you Comrade. You are running great risks for our cause and we will never forget that."

             
"It's my cause too. I've seen them run down my people with horses. I know the truth."

             
"Remember they will lie. They will use any weapon including blackmail, including murder but especially they distort the press by paying journalists to write stories favourable to them and still pretend the press is free. You take a great risk going against them. "

             
"I'm prepared to take the risk."

             
"I know. But if you ever need us, we will get you out. We never leave our people behind." He took John's hand and held it tight. "I'm glad you came. I wanted to see you and  tell you that you are not alone."

             
John looked at his watch. "I only have so much time. I need to buy a present for Karen. That's my cover for this absence."

             
Yelena smiled. "I have saved you time. I have bought a beautiful gift."

             
She reached into one the shopping bags she had brought with her. She pulled out a lilac box with silver writing in Danish on it, which she clicked open and there nestling on a bed of silk was a beautiful gold necklace with a ring of fire opals round a ruby as its centre piece.

             
"My God, Yelena that is beautiful. I don't know if I can afford it though."

             
She waved away his protest. "No it is a gift to you for this work. It is also my gift to Karen for sparing you to come and meet us."

             
"She doesn't know anything about it."

             
Bebur nodded. "Of course. I don't need to tell you not to confide in anyone. Not even her."

August 1985 - London:
A week later Karen came home. She'd been in hospital over a month. She seemed much better. Coming through the door, she smiled and hugged the girls who were delighted to see her back. There were hugs and tears between her and John's mother.  Later that day, they all went to King's Cross Station to see Elizabeth off back to Edinburgh. John took care with Karen. He tried to think of little things she would appreciate. He made her breakfast in bed. He offered to take the girls when she looked tired. Sometimes she would wave him away with a smile and let the little ones fall asleep on her breast. Other times she nodded and let him take them and rock them to sleep in his arms, dancing slowly round to the lullabies on the CD player. At weekends they went out to feed the ducks. When it was warm, they listened to classical music on the grass at Kenwood.  He took her to her favourite shop in Hampstead and bought her earrings with garnets. She wore them with the fire opal necklace he'd brought back from Copenhagen.

For the next two weeks he hardly saw Ailsa. It seemed that when he was in she was out. He felt guilt in his stomach. He attempted to shut the memory of her naked in the bed behind locked and bolted doors but she seeped back like a subtle poison. The remorse was worse when he was with Karen - standing in the kitchen with her, making her a bacon sandwich, watching through the window as she smoked in the garden and she waving back with a shy smile. But he still couldn't touch Karen. Not that Karen wanted him to. Despite what she said about wanting to repair things, the thought of sexual contact still disgusted her and she treated his body as if it was vile and unclean.

He saw Ailsa in the office day after day.  She made coffee and di
dn't speak. She joked with the others but didn't talk to him. He felt a gnawing coldness in his belly. He wanted to end it to give himself peace with Karen. But when he feared it was over, he didn't want it to end at all. There were some times Ailsa couldn't avoid him. It was Wednesday. Ailsa came up to him in the office and said. "It's Vinogradov day. Do you want to make our way over? I've got a car."

             
He nodded.

             
In the car, she drove. Traffic was slow. "Good job we started off early," she said.

             
He said, "I've missed you. I thought you'd been deliberately avoiding me."

             
She stared through the windscreen. "I thought it was for the best. I've missed you too. But the anxiety of being with you is unbearable. I've been sick with it. I can't sleep. I just imagine my whole life crashing down. "

             
"So it's business as usual between you and Duncan?"

             
"Don't be cruel."

             
He watched the shops go by outside. Sourly he said, "I suppose it's down to security. He's got lots of money. You have a big house."

             
"That's what you think?" She said dryly.

             
"What else is there? I can't give you what Duncan can. Your life with me would be very different. Much poorer."

             
"I have my own money."

             
"I don't want your money," he said.

             
"I hate you sometimes for the way you make me feel." She reached out with her left and took his. "Can't we be nice to each other?"

             
"Nice? Sure."

             
She said, "When it was just sex, it was ok. But now feelings have got involved. They mess your life up." She took her hand back to change gear.

             
He said, "So where does that leave us?"

             
"I can't leave him. But I want you in my life. Sounds like one of the agony aunt letters in TV Quick." Then she laughed. "See how I'm reduced to banalities?"

             
"Love is banal," he said. He felt angry but he took her hand back, not wanting to let her go. "But you're not being fair," he said.

             
"I know"

Vinogradov was late. Ailsa made coffee. John opened a window to look out. No reports from the watchers. Then he heard Rob Parry's voice to say that Vinogradov was hurrying out o
f the  Tube. When he got there he looked nervous. He lit his habitual cigarette. Ailsa offered him coffee but he wanted water. John waited for him to speak. Ailsa smiled politely. He knew she didn't like Vinogradov and wondered if he could tell.

             
Then Vinogradov said, "I was talking to  Sokolenko, the Line KR Officer. You know him?"

             
John shook his head. "I know who he is. We haven't met."

             
Vinogradov took a sip of water then a drag of his cigarette. In some way he seemed to be enjoying himself. "Yes, Sokolenko probably shouldn't have told me."

             
"If he shouldn't why did he?" asked John.

             
"He must have thought I needed to know."

             
"Could you tell us what he told you?" asked Ailsa sweetly.

             
Vinogradov looked at Ailsa and said, "Of course. He said that we have an agent inside your Soviet section." There was the hint of a smile.

             
"Interesting." said Ailsa, her face showing nothing.  John looked away and took a sip of water from his glass.

             
Ailsa said, "Which Soviet Section - MI5 or MI6? K3? K4? SOV/OPS? which?"

             
Vinogradov shrugged and said, "I don't know. He did not say any more."

             
"But why would he tell you?" said John sharply. 

             
Vinogradov ignored John's tone of voice. He said, "There is such an atmosphere of mistrust in KGB residencies. Here we are surrounded by the riches of Western life. We all know that what we have in our heads is worth millions of dollars to the CIA or SIS. Such a temptation."

             
"But not for you." said John.

             
"Not the riches. I have not asked you for a penny. That is not what I am doing this for."

             
"Of course not," said Ailsa, reassuringly. "You know how we appreciate your courage and your commitment to freedom."

             
"I want better understanding between the West and the Soviet Union. I want to avoid war."

             
"You've said all this before," said John tetchily. Ailsa shot him a warning glance.

             
"So why did Sokolenko tell you about this agent?" asked John rapidly.

             
"I have indicated. He probably told others in the Residency to frighten them off any ideas of talking to British Intelligence."

             
"So it might not be true?" asked Ailsa.

             
Vinogradov shrugged. "No of course. It might be deception. We all do this in our business, no?"

             
"You seem remarkably unworried," said John.

             
Vinogradov glared at him. "I am very worried. But as a professional intelligence officer I do not let my emotions give me away."

             
"We will investigate this," said Ailsa quickly.

             
Vinogradov said, "Until you do, I can have nothing to do with you. I cannot risk my life recklessly. I have my wife and children who depend on me."

             
"Ok," said Ailsa reasonably. "We won't schedule another meet. But we will probably want to know more than this. If you can find out more without arousing suspicion, we'll be very grateful."

             
" I can use the DLB. I hope this operation is very closed. My name I mean."

             
"Of course. It has a very limited indoctrination list," said Ailsa. "You have the emergency contact number?"

             
"Yes. I ask for Mr Anderton, and when he is not in I put the phone down and you will meet me in 30 minutes in Soho Square."

When they were driving back to the office. Ailsa said, "Well that's a turn up for the books."

             
John nodded. "But that's what they'd tell us if Vinogradov was a plant. Guaranteed to paralyse us."

             
"That's right of course. Leave it with me though. I'll speak to TCI."

             
"And even if he isn't a plant, the KGB management lie to their own people all the time."

             
"And ours don't of course," she said.

             
"Well I'm sure somebody's lying somewhere," said John.

             
"You can bet your bottom dollar on that one. I'm going to drive down to Century House. Can I drop you off here?"  They were approaching Hyde Park Corner.