Faith Unseen (21 page)

              Mary choked out her laughter “Don’t you have that backwards?”

              “Nope, I’m unorganized and she’s planning a wedding, we need the help badly.”

              “Is he always this crazy, Faith?”

              “Yes, he is. But he is also right, I have to plan a wedding, two actually. My twin is getting married also.”

              “Good heavens, are you crazy?”

              “Yes, I’m beginning to think we are.” Faith answered happily. Nathan hugged her with one arm and laughed along with Malcolm and Mary.

              “Any other questions, please call me. And if you would please have your husband call me?”

              “His name is Mark.”

              Faith hid her smile in Nathan’s chest as he said he looked forward to hearing from him. “Can we give you a ride home?” Nathan asked

              “No, we just live across a couple of streets.” Mary answered “Thank you though.”

              “Malcolm, call me tomorrow and then we will schedule some time to meet.”

              “Yes, sir.”

              “It was wonderful to meet you Mary.” Nathan said shaking her hand. “Call me anytime.”

              “Thank you Nathan.” Mary said happily as she and Malcolm turned to leave.

              Faith and Nathan got back in the car and Nathan said a quick prayer of thanks. “Next time we meet with them, let’s do it inside at a table and chairs.”

              “Yes, but I didn’t want to worry either of them that we might be up to something.”

              “I know.”

              “I got the feeling he was stunned by this opportunity.” Faith said laughing

              “His eyes got bigger and bigger with each assignment. But he looked thrilled too. He should do a good job with some coaching.”

              “And you are thrilled about this aren’t you?” she asked laughing with him

              “In more ways than one.” He answered laughing. “How about some dinner before I have to rush off to Bible Study?”

              “Do you have time?”

              “Sure, if we are sort of quick” he answered. Faith agreed and they headed out to eat.

              On Friday, Faith, Nathan, Leah and Tom went out to dinner then back to Faith’s house to have their Bible study together. After the Bible Study, the four plotted on how to make the engagement announcements to the church.

              “Why don’t you just announce it Nathan?” asked Faith

              “Ours or theirs?”

              “Both” Leah and Faith said in unison.

              “Tom?” asked Nathan

              “Let’s have their dad do it.”

              “No” Leah stated firmly

              “Are we really going to have to announce anything? When you two show up with engagement rings on your fingers in Bible Study, won’t the news spread like wildfire and then all we have to do is confirm the story.”

              “We still need to have something to say. Do you want me to do it?” asked Faith. There was stunned silence at her question. “Okay, I guess not.” She said standing to move from the table after no one talked for several minutes. “I’ll be back in a minute.” She said excusing herself.

              “Wait Faith” Leah finally said but Faith ignored her and walked out of the kitchen. She walked up the stairs to her room and shut the door behind her, thankfully there was a lock on it so no one could bother her for a while.
Dear Lord, Help me to have confidence and courage. I put my trust in you and I want to know and do your will. In Jesus Name Amen.
Faith continued to think as she sat on her bed. Soon there was a knock on her door. “Faith” Nathan called to her.

              “I’ll be down in a little while.”

              “Come back down now.” He encouraged

              “In a few minutes.” She answered again. “I just need a couple of minutes, please.”

              “Are you okay?”

              “Nathan, I’m okay. Please give me a few minutes.”

              “Okay, I’ll be back in five minutes.” He hesitantly left her door and returned to the kitchen. Less than five minutes later they heard her cast on the stairs. She walked back into the kitchen and sat down again.

              “Faith, we are sorry.” Leah apologized

              “No need for an apology. It’s not necessary.”

              “Yes it is.” Nathan stated next

              “No, it really isn’t.” Faith returned quickly. “You were right, we are not going to have to say anything, just showing up with engagement rings on will be enough. I’m sure Beth will notice it then the whole church can find out from her.”

              Faith heard two chairs move from the table and so she stood up too thinking their evening was over but Nathan caught her hand and stayed her departure. Leah and Tom walked out the kitchen door to give them privacy.

              “Faith, we are sorry. We…”

              “I told you it isn’t necessary.” She interrupted.

              “You caught us off guard with volunteering to talk to the church.”

              “Nathan, I gathered that on my own thanks.” Faith said sarcastically “It was a dumb idea anyway and like I said, you were right. Beth will spread the word for us. Dumb idea…” she trailed off

              “Knock it off.” He said “It wasn’t a dumb idea. It is actually a very good idea, you just took us by surprise. What are you going to say?”

              “Nothing” she answered “You’re right, I can’t get up in front of the church to talk.”

              “Knock it off, I mean it.” He said strongly “It is a great idea, I’ll introduce you just after the opening prayer and you can give your testimony.”

              “No” she said stubbornly.

              “It will be good practice for when you are a preacher’s wife.”

              Faith sat quietly for a while as she hoped Nathan would give up on this idea. She knew she could do it but they didn’t seem to believe she could so now she was scared again. “Maybe another time.” She said softly as she turned her head away from him.

              “We made you doubt yourself and now you are scared.” Nathan stated confidently. She always looked away when she was doubting herself “I’m very sorry.” He said cupping his hand under her chin to turn her back towards him. Faith took hold of his hand and brought it from her face before he could turn it.

              “Let it go Nathan.” She said quietly “Just please let it go.”

              “No, I’m not going too.”

              “Please! I’m begging you, please let it go.”

              “I can’t Faith. I hurt you and I have to make it right.” He said gently but Faith shook her head in rebuttal. “I screwed this up big time. I just set your confidence in yourself back months.”

              “It isn’t your issue Nathan, it’s mine.”

              “It is my issue and my fault. I do believe in you, you can do anything you want to do.”

              “Don’t please. Your response along with theirs said differently, I’m just asking you to please let this go.”

              “And where does my stupidity leave us?” he asked afraid of the answer

              “I’m not sure right now.” She answered honestly.

              “Are we still engaged?” he asked afraid again

              “Should we be engaged if you’ve lost confidence in me? That appears to be a big problem.”

              “I have
not
lost confidence in you. I made a big mistake, I believe that you can do anything you want to do. Anything God leads you to do. Please forgive me.”

              “I do forgive you.”

              “But?”

              “Nothing. I forgive you, everyone makes mistakes. My forgiveness is genuine.”

              “And your confidence in yourself?”

              “That is a little battered right now but it isn’t your problem.”

              “It is my problem, I’m the cause of it.”

              “It is because I didn’t get my confidence from God that it has taken a hit. I was relying on myself or you to give me confidence and maybe that is wrong. I shouldn’t have worked that way.”

              “Rach, you are partly right in that thought, but I’m also in the wrong here. I shouldn’t have done anything to cause you doubt. I’m to give you my unconditional love and support which leads to your confidence in us.”

              “And it probably will, but not right now. I just need a little time to think.”

              “Probably? That is too hard to take, I don’t want to lose you. I love you and I want to marry you and I believe in you.”

              “Nathan…”

              “No, listen to me. Not too long ago you were confident, why?”

              “Because your actions showed me your faith in me.”

              “What actions?”

              “You kept showing up time and again when I pushed you away. You never wavered in your persistence of believing there was an “us”. You believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.”

              “Well, I am still showing up, I have never wavered in believing in us. And I do believe in you, I made a big mistake with my reaction to your comment but I do believe in you. Please believe that I only made a mistake, I haven’t now nor will I ever change my opinion or beliefs about you. Can you believe in that?”

              “Don’t you think you should think about that for a couple of days and see if you change your mind?”

              “No, never.”

              “Nathan…”

              “Do you believe I love you?” he interrupted

              “Yes”

              “Do you believe that I made a mistake in my reactions to your volunteering?”

              “Uhh….”

              “You can say yes or no.”

              “Maybe.” She answered instead

              “Do you believe that I have not changed my opinion of you?”

              “Maybe”

              “Do you believe I make mistakes just like anyone else?”

              “Yes, of course.”

              “The first day you went out to coffee with me. How did you describe yourself?”

              “Loner, shy, handicapped.”

              “Turn our roles around, I said that to you on our first date, then six months later I announce that I want to talk in church. Would you have reacted and made the same big mistake I did? I’m not justifying my actions, I’ll admit freely that I screwed up. I never heard your changed opinion on being shy.”

              “I haven’t changed that opinion.”

              “Okay, now I’m really confused.”

              “Let me rephrase that, I’m still shy but I know I need to work on that. I’m so happy to be engaged to you that I wanted to tell people.”

              Nathan thumped his head down on the table. He was muttering and she could only understand a few words. “Nathan, stop. What are you doing? I can’t see you remember.”

              “I’ve exasperated myself even.” He finally said

              “Why?”

              “Why? I, as the saying goes “shot myself in the foot” so to speak. I’ve been trying to encourage you to be less shy and when you tried, I blew it. I’m begging you please get up in front of the church and tell them whatever you wanted to.”

              “Nathan, you have turned into a basket case in the last two minutes.”

              “I’m desperate.”

              “Will you stand next to me?”

              “Is that what you want?”

              “Yes, I’ll stand up in front of the church but not at the podium and tell my story if you stand next to me.”

              “Hallelujah” he said relieved

              “Come here” she motioned with her hand and he knelt beside her chair. When she felt him take her hand she spoke again. “I love you Nathan Lindstrom, can I stay engaged to you?”

              “Absolutely, most definitely, yes, you have too. I need…” he was interrupted by her kissing him.

              Sunday morning, Faith and Leah did not put their rings on until after Bible Study class which Nathan and Tom agreed with after reading and hearing Faith’s talk. Nathan came to sit with her as the choir and Tom walked in. Tom led the church in singing the first song and then Nathan led the prayer. After his prayer, he picked up the microphone and went to lead Faith to where the whole room could see her. He handed her the microphone and stood beside her.