Faith (My Misery Muse) (15 page)

Sam

“You can stay as long as you need to,” I told
her. “It won’t be a problem if I keep staying at Drake's, but I
need to get going, call me if he gives you any more problems,
okay?”

“Yea, I will and thanks for the help.”

“Not a problem, Doll.”

“Bye Sam,” she said before hanging up.

I walked back into the hospital. I didn’t get
why she kept going back to the situation, I only hoped she would
eventually realize I would help her.

I walked back in the room and found both Mags
and Devi back and nursing the babies. I looked around the room and
Eli and Cin were gone, and Cris had shown up.

“Who’s back there?” I asked.

“Cin and Eli just went back,” Devi
replied.

“Need anything?”

She shook her head. “No, I am doing
okay.”

We all knew that wasn’t true, but I wasn’t
about to call her out on it. I couldn’t even look at Mags, it may
be irrational but I still thought this was all her fault, if she
hadn’t hurt him again he wouldn’t have left. I took a deep breath
and sat down. I really, really hated this shit.

Chapter 27

Mags

We were sitting talking about what we would
need to do next. X suggested a schedule so that someone would
always be with him, but so we could all eat, shower, take care of
the kids the day to day stuff that needed to be handled. Devi and
I, of course didn’t want to leave him at all, but we both had young
kids to take care of, and I had work to do to be able to pay my
bills. Since we had no real timeframe on when he would be brought
out of sedation, or what would happen after that the guys decided
to cancel the rest of their tour. They said their label would be
pissed but they didn’t really care, leaving me and Devi here to
handle all of this wasn’t an option.

Eli and Cin came back from visiting Drake and
Sam and Cris got up to go take their turn. Sam was pissed at me,
and I can’t say that I blame him, I wasn’t too happy with
myself.

Cin plopped down beside X and started running
her hand over his thigh. “So what’s wrong with him?” she asked.

We all stopped our discussions and looked at
her—was she fucking serious?

“What?” Devi choked out.

“I mean, he looks like shit,” she said.

“He was in a car accident,” X gritted out
removing her hand from the inseam of his jeans.

“Well yea, but what’s wrong with him? ” she
asked putting her hand back on X’s thigh.

Jaks looked up at this point had a look of
absolute fear was on his face. “Is Uncle Drake ok?”

“He’s the same buddy, Cin is just being an
ass,” replied X.

Jaks looked at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yea buddy, I am.”

Jaks nodded then went back to playing his DS
and we all let out a breath.

“What the hell was that about,” hissed X.

“I was just wondering,” she replied with a
what I assume supposed to be a seductive look on her face. “You
look stressed X, want me to help you with that?”

“I swear to god, Eli, if you do not get your
sister out of here I will not be responsible for my actions,”
seethed Seth.

Eli nodded, shot X an evil look, then grabbed
Cin's hand and dragged her out while she pouted at X. What the fuck
is wrong with her today?

I looked over at Devi, I am sure we both had
the same look of what the fuck was that. I looked over at X and he
just looked pissed.

“It’s like good twin and evil twin,” Devi
muttered.

“Hold on, they're twins?” I asked.

“Yep,” she answered popping the p at the end.
“Cin doesn’t like people knowing, something about guys not liking a
twin brother. She said it would be different if he was a girl, I
don’t get it but whatever.”

Sam and Cris walked in at about that point.
“Why is Eli yelling at Cin in the hallway?” asked Cris.

“You don’t wanna know,” muttered X.

“Okay then, so they said no more visitors at
this time, something about changing the dressings and checking his
chest tube. I didn’t know he had one, so I had to ask, apparently
he had a collapsed lung as well.”

Devi nodded. “Okay then.”

“So I think we need to do some shopping, call
the label, call the lawyers, and all that crap,” X asserted. “So
who wants to do what?”

“I’ll call the label,” Sam replied.

“I’ll deal with the lawyers; I will have them
reschedule the meeting you missed, Mags,” Seth offered.

“I completely forgot about that.”

Seth nodded. “Understandable, so did the rest
of us, not that it really matters right now.”

“Yay, I’ll go shopping,” said X rubbing his
hands together.

“Shopping?” asked Devi looking a little
scared at that idea.

X nodded. “Yep, we will need stuff to do when
we are on shifts. I am thinking a Kindle, a DS and some games, hmm
any other requests?”

“Blankets and pillows,” replied Eli.

I couldn’t think of anything that I wouldn’t
bring with me, I looked over at everyone else and I didn’t think
they had any ideas either.

“IPod, Drake's iPod,” Devi called out.

Sam nodded. “I can get it from his
place.”

“Anything else?” We all shook our heads at X.
“Okay then, I am going shopping. Wanna go Jaks, you can help me
pick out the good games?”

Jaks closed his DS and stood up. “Yea, I
guess.”

“All right buddy then let’s go,” he said and
he and Jaks were gone.

“Well I guess I lost my kid,” Devi
commented.

“Don’t worry baby, he will return him soon,”
replied Seth.

“He better,” muttered Devi.

“So who’s staying?” I asked.

“I will,” Eli answered.

We stood up to go to our different tasks;
none of us really wanting to go, but we knew we couldn’t stay here
forever either and I really needed to pump.

Eli

I really had no idea what my sister's problem
was today, but I had a feeling it had something to do with X. I
didn’t want them together; I had made that clear to both parties. I
knew what was going to end up happening, and I didn’t want to deal
with it again. I didn’t want to deal with my sister getting her
heart stepped on after she had convinced herself she was in
love.

I didn’t want the drama to affect my standing
in the band. I loved playing in the band; I finally found someplace
I fit and I didn’t want to give that up just so my sister could get
her jollies off with one of my band mates. I knew both Sam and Seth
had told me not to worry about that, that whatever happened
couldn’t affect my place in the band, but they didn’t know her like
I did. They didn’t understand her like I did, and they didn’t know
about her past like I did.

I wanted to clue X in so he could get out
now, but I knew if I did that she would find out and I would end up
paying the price for that. I had tried once before and it hadn’t
ended well for me. So instead I was standing back and holding my
breath waiting for the fallout which would happen, and I didn’t
know what to do to stop it.

I went in and sat with Drake. I wish I had
someone I could talk to about this, but some things were kept in
family, immediate family, it was drilled into my head, you do not
tell anyone, no one is to know, just protect your sister. So that’s
what I did, I protected my sister from herself and tried my best to
protect others from her, but now I was stuck between blood and
those I called my brothers, and I was lost.

Chapter 28

Mags

It has been three days since the accident and
I was sitting beside Drake's bed watching him sleep. He was still
sedated but they had removed the breathing tube, they were going to
cast his leg tomorrow and possibly start weaning him off the
sedation medication this weekend. Life was hectic between trying to
have someone watching over Drake, the kids, and the drama the band
was going through over canceling the last of their tour.

I had a lot of time on my hands lately, with
sitting here watching Drake sleep, and in that time I did a lot of
thinking about what I could have lost, and still might. The doctors
were optimistic but he wasn’t out of the woods yet. There was so
much damage and with the unknown time before the EMTs got there
they just weren’t sure. So, I sat here watching him sleep and
reassessing my life. I knew I loved him, the thought of losing him
made me realize that, but to what extent—I was still trying to
figure out. Was I willing to give up the life I knew? That thought
scared me, on the other side the idea of a life without him scared
me more.

“My mom made poor choices, she wanted to find
a man to take care of her, and so she wouldn’t have to along with
me.” I told Drake, “I never wanted to be like her. I never wanted
to depend on someone for anything, especially a man. Then I got
pregnant with Quinn and what happened? He walked away.”

“He walked away and said he wanted nothing to
do with his child. I knew then that I would never put my child in
the same situation as my mother; I would be both mother and
father.” I looked over at his battered face and took a deep breath.
“You make me doubt my thoughts. You make me wonder what life would
be like to have someone there with you, helping you, but I don’t
know how to do that. I don’t know how to trust someone like
that.”

“You let him help you, you take it slow, you
talk and tell him how you’re feeling. You listen to what he’s
feeling and you work it out,” said the voice behind me.

I glanced back. “How long have you been
here?”

“Long enough.”

“You here for the next shift, Sam?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, just give me a minute.”

He nodded his head and walked towards the
nurses’ station. I leaned over and kissed Drake's cheek. “I love
you, and I will see you tomorrow,” I whispered into his ear then
got up to go back to the outside world.

I walked into Devi’s house and it was silent.
I looked around, and found Devi curled up on the couch reading. I
plopped down on the couch next to her, looked at the cover of her
book and laughed.

“Seriously, Devi,
Devoured
again?”

She shrugged. “Shut up, how
many times have you read
Thoughtless
and
Effortless
?”

“All right, point taken.”

“So how was he?”

“The same as he was when you saw him a few
hours ago.”

She nodded and put her book down. “Anything
you want to talk about?”

“No, I am just trying to figure stuff
out.”

“Sometimes when you talk to someone it
helps.”

“I know, and I just don’t know what to
say.”

“How about the truth?”

“I love him,” I blurted out.

“I already knew that.”

I sighed. “No, I mean 'white picket fence'
love him.”

“I knew that too.”

I stuck my tongue out at her. “Then why
should I talk if you know everything.”

“Uhm, cause you’re not talking about what you
need to.”

“I don’t know how to talk about all
that.”

“Sure you do, you just don’t want to.”

I looked away, I wasn’t ready to talk about
my past. “So I talked to the lawyer today.”

“And?”

“The papers were served suing for child
support today.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, that’s all you have to say?”

“What more do you want me to say, Mags?”

“What is with all this therapy shit
today?”

She shrugged. “I really don’t know what you
want me to say, he was served, okay?”

“I’m scared.”

“Of?”

“That he will want to be a part of her life,
that Drake will wake up and not want me, that I am making a
mistake.”

“Okay, well if he wants to be a part of her
life, we’ll deal with it. Drake will still want you when he wakes
up, and you are not making a mistake wanting to try a relationship
with the man you are in love with.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“When I finally grabbed ahold of Seth and
refused to let go.”

“Took you long enough.”

She shrugged. “We are stubborn, Mags.”

“I am not stubborn.”

She snorted. “Yea, sure, keep telling
yourself that.”

“Mind if we stay tonight?” I asked.

“Not at all.”

“I’m just worried he will show up, you know,
now that he was served.”

“It makes sense. Why don’t I get Seth to take
you over to your place and you guys can plan to stay a few days,
k?”

I hugged her. “Thanks Devi.”

She shrugged. “That’s what best friends are
for.”

Seth and I walked into my house and the phone
started ringing. I looked at the caller id and didn’t recognize the
number so let the machine get it. As I was packing bags for Quinn
and I, Brent’s voice came over the machine screaming obscenities at
me. I glanced over at Seth and he was shaking his head. I walked
over to the machine and there were twenty-four missed calls. I
couldn’t believe this.

“Pack a lot,” Seth said looking around the
house. “This place isn’t safe enough for you two to be here
alone.”

I nodded my head and started to really pack.
I didn’t know how long we would have to stay away.

Seth helped me with the bags and I grabbed my
laptop. Good thing I could work from anywhere. I was glad not to be
staying there alone with Quinn, I didn’t trust Brent, and I didn’t
know what he was capable of at this point.

Seth

I looked around Mags’ house, after that phone
call there was no fucking way I would leave her here alone with a
baby. She had no real protection if he came after her.

“Pack a lot, this place isn’t save enough for
you two to be here alone.”

She didn’t argue, so I could tell she was
scared. Once I got her back to my place I was going to call X and
Eli and have them help me make sure someone was always at my house
with the girls. I wasn’t leaving that house without one of us
there. I wasn’t worried about Devi at the shop, those guys would
never let anything happen to her, but I would still give Cris a
heads up just in case.