Fairytales (21 page)

“I’d love it.”

“Okay, we’ll finish this, then get your coat. I think it’s about time I took my best girl out to celebrate.”

In the weeks that followed, he spent Sundays with the children, which always left Victoria at loose ends, but when he returned in the early evening, she would have dinner prepared and try to be recovered from the depression she had fought.

Then the week before Thanksgiving Violet Posata paid Dominic a visit at his office, dropping in late that afternoon without having called in advance, hoping he would be able to see her. It was simply the chance she took and, as it happened, Dominic was just getting through with his last client for the day. He picked up the intercom phone when it rang. “Yes?”

“Mr. Rossi, Mrs. Posata is in the reception room waiting to see you.”

Goddamn it, he thought. It was five and he and Victoria had theater tickets. He had promised her he would be home about six and he still had some paperwork to do before leaving. Angrily, he said, “Send her in … in about five minutes.” He then called Victoria on his private phone and, when he heard her voice, his heart skipped a beat. “Sweetheart, I’m going to be a little late, I’m afraid, but something came up which might detain me.”

There was a moment of silence, then she asked, “Do you think we’ll be able to make the theater?”

“Oh, I’m sure and if it’s alright with you, we’ll have something to eat later.”

“That’s alright, I understand.”

“Thank you, darling, but I’ll be home as soon as I can get this out of the way.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

He wanted to say I love you, but she had already hung up, leaving him looking at the silent phone. Mechanically, he pressed the button, “Have Mrs. Posata come in.”

Standing up to greet her, it was difficult for him to try and be cordial, but if there was a trace in his manner that indicated his dismay, she certainly gave no indication as she said, “Dominic, darlin’, I hope you’ll forgive me for bargin’ in on you, but I thought that maybe this was the best time after office hours.”

“I’m glad you did. However, I have a business conference in about twenty minutes.”

“Oh … well, I just would like to talk to you for just a few minutes, darlin’ … may I sit down?”

“Forgive me, please do.”

She sat across from him as he seated himself behind his desk. “You look a little tired, Dominic. Maybe you’re overdoin’ things.”

“Today was a little hectic and long.”

“I can imagine so, Dominic, I’m not gonna carry on a lot of sweet talk with you and get right down to the reason I wanted to see you.” He sighed, knowing what was coming, but he remained silent. “Dominic, I know you’re aware of why I’m stayin’ with Catherine and, of course, I also know what happened between you. But before I begin, I also want you to know I’m not judgin’ you nor puttin’ the blame on you.”

He looked at her, clearing his throat and running his tongue over his dry lips, “Thanks—but before you begin, would you like something to drink?”

“I think that would be nice, Dominic.”

“What would you care for?”

“Anythin’… a little brandy if you have it.”

“Yes,” he said going to the bar, pouring a brandy for Violet and a bourbon for himself. He couldn’t go through this without a little something to fortify him. Handing her the glass, once again he sat down behind the desk, took a swallow, then said, “I don’t want to be unkind, but really, I think this is a subject I’m not quite up to discussing.”

“Well, Dominic, the truth is, this is the kind of subject one is never up to discussin’, but you’re just gonna have to be a little patient with an old lady who doesn’t really want to interfere, but, Dominic, it does seem to me that I think you’re not takin’ into consideration a lot of things.”

“Yes, and what is that?”

“You know, Thanksgivin’ is comin’ and what do you suppose it’s gonna be like for the children without their Daddy there?”

And what’s it going to be like for Victoria and how in the hell could he face Catherine after that horrible nightmare? The wounds were too raw and deep to even consider sitting at the same table with her. Obviously, she had discussed his spending the holiday with the family or else why would Violet Posata be here? “Mama, I don’t want to offend you, knowing your intentions are meant for the sake of the children, but I regret to say, I simply could not do that.”

Quietly, she asked, “Why, Dominic, is it your pride?”

“It goes a little deeper than that.”

“Are you gonna sit there and tell me that what happened between you and Catherine goes above your responsibility to your children?”

He got up and walked to the window, looking out at the dusk that covered the city. Turning around, he said, “I love my children and I think I’ve been a good father, but there are some things a man can’t do, not because of pride, but because … the situation between Catherine and me is completely over.”

“When you have children, it’s never over.”

“I’m afraid that’s one thing I’m going to have to deprive them of.”

Taking a sip of her brandy, she said, “Dominic, I think you’re one of the most exceptional people I’ve ever had the privilege of knowin’ and I’m just a little shocked that someone of your stature can’t rise above your own personal feelin’s … not when your feelin’s involve so many others. Whatever your problems are with Catherine, I’m not even concerned about … in fact, the two of you, at this moment, are unimportant … it’s those children I’m thinkin’ of. You brought them into the world and imagine, if you can for just one minute, what that day’s gonna be like? Now, I’m not takin’ you to task, you know that. No matter what happens, the future between you and Catherine is somethin’ for the two of you to resolve … but, Dominic, think like the mature man you are. You can’t avoid one another forever … not that I’m askin’ you for one minute to make it up with Catherine, you two just aren’t important … but those children are. Don’t you know there are gonna be lots and lots of events in the future the two of you are gonna have to share … have you thought of that?”

“Yes … I’d be less than honest if I said I hadn’t.”

“Well, then, Dominic, be honest. Don’t you think you should be sittin’ at the head of your table with your children all around you?”

He sat down with his head in his hands and thought, much as he wanted to say, “I wouldn’t, I can’t,” he could not dismiss lightly the things she had said. He was brought up sharply. “Dominic, darlin’, I know you have to be goin’, but you think about this … and whatever decision you come to, I’ll still love you. But you consider the children. I know, before I go, that you’ll do the right thing … Now God love you and I’ll be in touch in a day or so.”

He got up and kissed her lightly, on the cheek, and watched as she closed the door behind her, then he went back and sat for a few minutes. He swiveled in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. He knew the answer … that wasn’t why he was procrastinating … how do you tell a woman you’re living with, someone you love, adore, would do anything in the world for … except be with her on Thanksgiving … Christmas … Fourth of July … Sundays … etc … etc., and expect her to keep saying, “yes, darling, I understand … of course darling, I don’t mind playing second fiddle to your seven little Neros.” Oh, shit! It was easier before he left Catherine. Cockeyed as it was, the only problem it seemed then, as he looked back, was being unfaithful to a wife. He glanced at the clock on his desk … it was six. Getting up quickly he left with a feeling of being more unfaithful to Victoria than he’d ever been to Catherine.

That evening, he sat in the theater and heard not one word of what was going on. Instinctively, he laughed in the right places, applauded at the right time, said it was marvelous when Victoria asked. He had all the makings of Mr. Hyde, but the pretense was killing him. That night, when he lay next to Victoria, he felt like a louse for having made love to her that evening. It was almost the same kind of deviousness Catherine had perpetrated on him when she had tried to soften him first… the night she told him about the house she had bought without his knowledge, the only difference was that he weighed in the balance what Victoria’s reaction would be.

He held her tightly and asked for the very first time, “Victoria?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Are you happy?”

There was a long, long pause, “Why do you ask?”

“Because I know this situation isn’t easy for you.”

“It isn’t easy for either one of us, is it?”

“No … but my concern is you.”

“I’ve never complained, have I?”

“No, never … but I’m sure there have been many times when you would have liked to.”

“That’s true, Dominic, but I’ve got to accept it on these terms, don’t I … what other choices do I have … or you, for that matter?”

“None, not really. I told you once a man doesn’t belong to himself when he has children. You remember that?”

“Yes … and what you’re trying to tell me is you’re having a problem with yourself?”

“Yes, things like where my loyalties lie … my duties, obligations.”

Victoria switched on the lamp and sat up in bed. “Let me understand this, Dominic, what kind of duties, obligations and loyalties are we talking about? Do I fall into the category of a duty … an obligation? Look, let me tell you this … my boiling point is very high. It takes a great deal to make me angry. I cut my eyeteeth on tolerance and never being sorry later for things I said in anger. At this moment, I’m not thanking my parents for giving me such sage advice because I think there’s a great deal more to this conversation than you’re telling me. Alright, Dominic, say it.”

“Victoria, I can’t stand it when you’re hurt like this.”

“You can’t stand it? Well, at this moment, if you don’t mind, I’m concerned about
my
feelings … you have something to say, then say it.”

“I had a visitor today.”

“Really … your children … your wife? The King of Siam?”

“This is not like you, Victoria.”

“Don’t you think so? Well, maybe there are things about me you don’t know. Now, who was your visitor?”

“My mother-in-law.”

Victoria started to laugh, until there were tears in her eyes. “Your mother-in-law? My God, there’s no end to the parade. And what did the dear Southern patrician lady say? … No, don’t tell me, I know.”

“What do you think she said?”

“Dominic, I’m in the law, remember? Now, let’s see … she said, Dominic, darlin’ I really think it’s wrong for a family to break up. It doesn’t make any difference what happened … you’re a
family …
Am I gettin’ warm?”

He didn’t blame her, she had a right. Quietly, he answered, “That’s about right.”

She got out of bed, and went into the bathroom, trying to hold on to whatever dignity she was still able to control because if she said another word, it would be like the night at DeLucci’s with Catherine throwing things and that’s exactly what she felt like doing … screaming, but she washed her face in cold water, grateful Dominic had not persuaded her or tried to be soothing or comforting. At this moment, she had to be alone. Then, suddenly, a thought conjured up from the past when Dominic had pleaded with her not to become involved with him. Remembering his words, ‘But what kind of a life will this be for you’ and the rest of the words and conversation rang like a bell in her mind. He’d been right … hadn’t he? But how sure she was that evening which seemed like a million years ago. ‘But I’m a big girl,’ she heard herself saying, ‘and I know what I’m getting into … my eyes are wide open.’ Isn’t that what she said? My God, the promises people think they’re equal to before the challenge. Victoria, you’re acting like a jealous wife … be honest for God’s sake, Dominic’s torn between you and them. They came first, his duties and obligations
are
to them … it’s tough, but that’s what you’re confronted with … Okay, now, how much does he mean to you … how much do you really love him … is the loneliness, the frustration, the feeling of being shut out at times, worth it … would your life be less complicated … That’s a damned foolish question. Of course, it would … but can you have the love without the pain? Think … what would it be like without him. Hell. Okay … dry your tears and wash your face and act your age and be a
woman.

She went back into the bedroom and for a moment looked at Dominic, who could not meet her gaze. Of course she had become an obligation to him. Was that bad, she asked herself … no, because it was more than that … he loved her and that’s why he couldn’t face her at this moment. Getting back into bed, she clung to Dominic in silence for a while, then she said, “Now, I’m ready to hear what your mother-in-law said to you.”

Softly, he answered, “She spoke to me about being with the children at Thanksgiving.”

Victoria responded without emotion, “You’ve given it a great deal of thought?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“I feel it’s the only thing I can do …”

“You’re right, Dominic … forget a few minutes before. I simply had to blow off steam, but I, honestly, know this is right.”

He held her closer. As she turned off the light, she felt his tears on her naked shoulder. Dominic was deeply shaken, knowing he was abandoning her. Finally she said, “Darling, I love you and that’s all that matters.” And almost believed it.

Dominic stood before the door, dreading to ring. How the hell could he see or much less be in the same place with Catherine. He felt like a stranger with his finger poised on the bell. Finally summoning enough courage, he pushed and heard the sound of chimes inside. Almost immediately the door was opened by Gina Maria who threw her arms around Dominic, kissing and hugging him saying, “I’m so glad you’re home, Papa.” Home? No, you’re the only thing that makes it possible for me to be standing here, he thought and then she called out, “Papa’s here.” Soon the rest were surrounding him, embracing him like some hero returning from the wars. He looked at all his sons. They took hold of him by the shoulders. If only they had been Victoria’s. Then the moment he had dreaded was standing before him dressed in a printed flowing matte jersey from Pucci’s, her hair coiffed to perfection, bejeweled with earrings that hung like diamond chandeliers.