Fair Play (17 page)

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? I’m seriously going to be pissed if I hurt you. We can curl up and sleep next together. I don’t mind at all.”

She reaches out and takes the condom from my hand and tears it open. My mouth goes dry and my pulse pounds in my ears. She scoots to the edge of the bed and pulls the drawstring on my lounge pants, dropping them to the floor, and I pull off my shirt with one hand from the back of the collar.

She lifts up on her knees and expertly rolls the condom on my straining cock and when she’s done, she lowers back onto her heels and examines her work. “Perfect.”

Her gaze follows my happy trail up my abdomen, over my chest, and to my lips where she pauses for a moment before locking eyes with mine.

“I’m sure.”

I motion for her to move back onto the bed, as moving her myself will end up causing her pain that she will undoubtedly hide.

When she’s back in position, I crawl across the bed and raise her legs to rest on my shoulders. My cock grazes her wetness, and I clench my teeth to keep from thrusting into her.

“I’m going to hold back. A lot. I don’t think we should be doing this, just so you know.”

She lowers one of her hands from above her head and taps the bunny on her mound.

“I’m late, okay, I get it.”

She nods her head up and down, taking hold of my shaft to guide it inside her soaking wet core. I move her hand and push all the way in with a loud groan.

“Fuck, Téa, I don’t know if I can do this.” She feels so fucking good, I’m not at all convinced I can stay in control.

“I mean I know I can do this,” I say, pushing in deeper, causing her lips to part. “I just don’t know if I can go slow.”

“I trust you.”

I trust you are three of the most important words ever spoken, second only to I love you. Her confidence in me works wonders.

I rise up on my knees and begin to slide in and out of her in a calm rhythm. It’s not easy, but it feels so good I start to wonder how long I can keep it up. I’ve never tried to hold back, but tonight seems like a great time to start.

I dip down and kiss the side of her mouth that’s not cut and swollen. She raises her hips, meeting my every stroke until we are both covered with a thin sheen of sweat.

This is the part I usually love, the messy down and dirty part just like football. I love the athleticism, the physical aspect of fucking, but with Téa, it feels like so much more. With her, it feels like home.

She’s struggling, as I am, in an effort to make it last. But when her head presses into the pillow and she cries out, I do everything I can to come without hurting her.

I slide my hand under her back to support her while my cock pulses deep within her soft clenching walls. Her arms slam down on the mattress on either side of us and she clutches the sheets. Her breath hitches in her throat, and when we begin to come down, she gasps for breath.

“Oh my God, Nick. How did you do that?”

I pucker my bottom lip and furrow my brow while I think.

“Um, do you want me to explain how sex works or do you mean something else?”

She wraps her arms around her torso and laughs so hard I sit back and slide out, removing her legs from my shoulders.

“I’ve never experienced this kind of reaction after sex before. You’re going to give me a complex.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you.”

“Well, you’re not laughing with me, so …”

“I meant how did you accomplish all of that without once causing me pain? I’m bruised everywhere, and my side has been killing me all day, but I just had the best sex I’ve ever had.”

I move to lie on my side next to her and prop my head in my hand.

“It was probably the adrenaline, or maybe it was my expert, attentive bedroom skills.”

“Well, whatever it was, it was awesome.” She strokes my five o’clock shadow that is now a midnight shadow.

“This grows fast.”

“Italian,” I say.

“Oh yes, my favorite, I almost forgot.”

I look at an imaginary watch on my arm and gasp. “Shit, I missed my online date with my girlfriend, Quinn.”

“I think it’s okay. She was probably getting it on with her real-life boyfriend anyway.”

I sigh. “He’s a lucky guy.”

“I wouldn’t know,” she says, rolling her eyes up toward the dark ceiling.

“Oh, I think you know. But seriously, can you believe this?”

“No, I was feeling guilty for liking two guys at the same time. And here it turns out they’re the same person. How lucky is that?”

“Very,” I say, feathering a kiss on her lips.

“I should be mad at you for sexting another woman today.”

“I could be mad at you for sending a picture of your breasts to a strange man today.” I cup her breast and watch while I tease her nipple until it’s stiff with my thumb.

“I wanted to do this so badly today. It was you I saw in my mind when I was stroking my cock in the shower. I may have been messaging with Quinn, but my thoughts and emotions were all you.”

I lean forward and circle her nipple with the tip of my tongue and suck while showing her other one similar attention with my free hand. My cock twitches and she feels it against her hip. She reaches down and strokes it until I’ve got a semi. I’m considering another round.

“I don’t know if the adrenaline thing happens two times in a row.”

“I don’t need adrenaline. I’m going to lie here and make you come with my hand, which by the way does not hurt at all, and then we are going to spoon and sleep like rocks until morning. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow to get ready for Hawaii.”

I cover her hand and stop her much-appreciated hand job. “I need to talk to you about that while we are alone.”

She glances down at our hands on my cock. “But it’s not a subject you want to talk about mid-orgasm?”

“Exactly, not that it isn’t very much appreciated because it is, God knows it is.”

She rolls away from me onto her side and pulls the sheet up over us both.

“Okay, tell me about the extenuating circumstances of this trip to Hawaii.”

“We are visiting my aunt, my mother’s sister Serena. She has cancer, and she requested that we all come and spend time with her while she’s still able to get around easily and have fun. When we leave, we will say our last goodbyes. She doesn’t want a funeral, she wants us to remember her as the happy, loving woman that she is.”

“Nick, I’m so sorry. That’s a tall order, isn’t it? How will she know if all of you go back and have a funeral service?”

“She says she will haunt us until the end of time, and she doesn’t have a ton of friends on the island and no family. She’s from Texas.”

“Why doesn’t she go back to Texas before she passes?”

“She says she wants to die in paradise. Texas equals years of miserable memories about her long marriage to my Uncle Stan, who died a few years ago.”

“Uncle Stan was a dick?”

“Yeah, to say the least.”

“Now I see why you wanted pictures of this vacation so bad.”

“Yeah, maybe you can show me what to do, and I can do it.”

“I can give you a crash course on photography, but it won’t be necessary. I think I’ll be able to handle it after tonight.”

“Um, I don’t think we can do this every time you take a photograph, although I wouldn’t say no to trying.”

“Stop teasing. I meant if I can have sex like we just did, then I can walk around and take a few candid photos.”

“This may have been an isolated event, though,” I say.

“We can try it out again tomorrow to make sure.”

“Deal.”

“Deal. Goodnight, Emmett.”

“Goodnight, Quinn.”

Téa

I’m a well-traveled Midwestern girl, but the big island of Hawaii has to be one of the most beautiful places on the planet. We’ve been here four days, and I’ve considered making it my home on more than one occasion.

Nick’s aunt Serena says she moved to Hawaii so she could retire in paradise, and I couldn’t agree more.

It’s hard pretending that this is a normal vacation, but that’s how she wants it. Nick and his family are doing a great job making memories for Serena to hold onto in her last days, and I’ve captured them all in photographs for her.

We have been to the beach every day, sometimes twice, and we spent a day at Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, where I got the most amazing shots of volcano eruptions and flowing lava. Nick says I should send them to National Geographic, and they are so amazing I just might.

Nick’s mom and dad are lovely people who, after a few hours of uncomfortable glances at my tattoos and questions about my upbringing, seem to have embraced me as Nick’s girlfriend. His sister Nora loved me right away. I think she’s secretly a creative soul. I can’t imagine this wild girl at an Ivy League college in a stuffy classroom. Nick and I have taken bets on how long it will take her to dye her hair an unnatural color or get a tattoo while we are on vacation.

I said six days, Nick says ten. I’m hoping I’m wrong, though. Edie and Angus will probably think I had something to do with it, and I’m trying to build trust with his parents.

Today we are going to a waterfall, and I am beyond excited. I can’t wait to catch a rainbow in between the sun and the water pouring off the cliffs. The wildlife on the island is breathtaking too. Getting a close up of a parrot is at the top of my list of must-have photographs. Ben is in the kitchen complaining about getting up early. He came along last minute at Edie's encouragement when he dropped us off at the airport.

“You are family, get your butt on this plane or I’ll tell every girl you date from now on that you have a little penis,” she said. He was boarding in seconds with nothing but the clothes on his back.

Nick got up early to run on the beach and work out in the gym. He’s worried about being gone so close to the regular season starting. He told me his coach would never have let him go if it weren't for the special circumstances.

Scarlet is with her grandma getting groceries at the local market, and I’m dragging my butt out of bed at the late hour of eight a.m.

It’s harder than I anticipated to keep up after the attack, but my bruises are fading and the tiny broken blood vessels on my cheeks are gone.

It feels like a lifetime ago that we went to that party. It’s the island. I’m sure of it.  Everything is better in paradise.

I’m in the shower when I hear my phone chime, notifying me of a text. I step out and grab a towel, wrapping it around me while I bend over and squint at the phone’s screen on the vanity.

It’s not a text, it’s a message from Match Pro. Hmm, maybe it’s some kind of notification. They probably think I’ve given up on love after seeing that my account has been dormant for days.

I tap the app’s icon with a damp finger and finish drying off while it pulls up. When I’m no longer dripping wet, I pick up my phone to read the message. It’s from Emmett. What?

Nick must be bored at the gym. We never talked about deleting our accounts or using them for play. We’ve been so busy since we found out about each other that there hasn’t been time.

Emmett -- I have a problem.

A problem, I’ll bet. I like solving his problems, though, this might be fun. 

Me -- Oh yeah? Maybe I can help.

Emmett --  I’m counting on it. Do you have any fetishes?

Now that’s a new one. We’ve never talked about fetishes, probably because I don’t have any and I never thought to ask Nick if he did either.

Me -- Not that I’m aware of, do you?

Emmett -- Yes.

I close the lid of the toilet and sit down. I have a strange feeling about this. Why didn’t he just come out and tell me about this fetish of his, he brought it up after all.

Me -- Are you going to share or am I supposed to guess?

Emmett -- Don’t get sassy with me.

Oh-kay, what the hell? Nick’s not rude or bossy, ever. Somebody must be messing with me. They’ve hacked his account. I close out of the app and walk into the bedroom to get dressed.

The second I put the phone down, it chimes again. I continue to ignore it and finish dressing, but the damn thing doesn’t stop.

Enough, I’m deleting my account. I open the app again, and three messages show up on the screen right away.

Emmett -- I’m sorry.

Emmett -- I was playing Dom.

Emmett -- Téa, come on, please? Play with me.

Dom? It takes a second for that to register.

Me -- As in Dom/sub? BDSM?

Emmett -- Yes! Thank you for coming back.

Me -- You’re welcome. How do we play?

Emmett -- Tell me your darkest fantasy.

Me -- Dark? I don’t think I have dark fantasies.

Emmett -- Oh, come on, everybody has something they never talk about out loud. What’s that thing? What’s the one thing you’ve never done because you’re scared of what your partner will think of you if you ask? Wanna know mine?

This conversation is a little creepy for eight thirty in the morning. Hell, it's little creepy, period. I honestly don’t have a dark fantasy. The only thing I can think of that he might consider dark is bondage, but everybody does that nowadays.

Me -- Is it considered a fantasy if I’ve already done it?

Emmett -- Yes.

Me -- I like rope play, in moderation.

Emmett -- You like being tied up, that’s perfect. I want to tie you up with your legs spread wide so I can flog your pretty pussy until you come so hard you beg me to do it again.

I plop on the bed and stare at my phone. I slowly lift my eyes and see my reflection in the mirror, mouth agape, eyes wide, cheeks pink.

I’m no prude, I’ve even been to a few clubs that specialize in this sort of thing back in Chicago with Theresa, but I never participated. My experience with rope play is limited to having my hands tied up by a long-time boyfriend that I trusted, and he never completely restrained me.

This is kinky shit. I don’t want to play this game. What if this is his way of telling me what he wants in real life? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to please him?

I’m falling for Nick, hard. But if this is his scene, I may have to rethink having a long-term relationship with him.

My heart sinks at the thought of losing him, but the reality is I’ve known the man for less than two weeks. He could be a serial killer for all I know. I read somewhere that it takes people a good six months to a year to show who they truly are in a relationship.

Emmett -- Did I scare you, Red?

His message makes me jump. Do I tell him hell yes you scared me, or do I play along and see what happens? If I play, he will think I’m open for this kind of thing in real life. If I don’t, he will know I’m not, and that could be the end of us.

That’s good, though. I don’t want to be a sub. I’m not a sub, and I don’t want a Dom. I want my sweet, loving, athletic, awesome daddy to his little girl.

I want Nick the way he was until ten minutes ago. I want Emmett to go away and never come back.

Me -- I don’t want to play.

There. I have to be honest. This isn’t my style, and I don’t want to make it my style.

Emmett -- I want you to play. This is important to me. I was worried you might react this way. It’s not a bad thing. Doms take care of their subs. They have a special relationship. It’s about giving up control and trusting someone not to hurt you.

Oh my God, he’s serious about this. He’s making it sound like it’s his lifestyle, not a dark fantasy.

Me -- Is this a deal breaker for you? Are you a real Dominant or is this something you like to play at in private? I don’t see you as a Dom at all.

Emmett -- Yes, it’s a deal breaker, and yes I am a ‘real’ Dom. I want you to be my subordinate. I want you in my life forever. I love you. You’re the one.

I blow out a long breath. It feels like my lungs implode and my heart lurches in my chest and crumbles into smoldering embers.

We haven’t said I love you yet, and he chooses now, like this?

This isn’t real. This isn’t Nick. I have to think of something only he would know about me to ask so I can trap this impostor. Whoever it is can probably look back and see our conversations, so they know a lot. But they wouldn’t know anything that’s happened over the past few days in Hawaii.

Me -- If you’re really Nick, where did we go yesterday?

He answers immediately. 

Emmett -- Hawaii Volcanoes National Park

Fuck, lucky guess. Everybody who comes to the big island goes there. Think, Téa, think. What’s something personal, something nobody else knows? My bunny tattoo maybe? Only a handful of men have seen it, and a few women in locker rooms. No, it needs to be more recent, more private.

Me -- Who tripped and almost fell yesterday when we were walking on the beach?

Emmett -- My mother, or Edie Marie Wood, if you need a full identification. Is it so hard to believe I live this kind of lifestyle?

Shit.

Me -- Yes, it is for me. I thought I knew you a little bit, but apparently, I didn’t. One more question. What did I whisper in your ear this morning?

Emmett -- Nothing, I left before you were awake. It’s me, Téa, why don’t you trust me?

That’s it. He’s right. He’s been right every time. The man I was so sure was the one wants something I will not give him. He needs me to live a lifestyle that goes against everything I believe in. I know myself well enough to know I wouldn’t last under someone’s thumb. I’m a free-spirited, independent woman who has a real problem being told what to do.

I would have done almost anything to be with Nick, but not this.

Me -- I’m ending this thread, and I’m deleting this account. I’ll see you when you get back. We need to talk about this in person, not via text.

Emmett -- Don’t bother, we’ve said all there is to say. If you’re not interested in this kind of lifestyle, you may as well pack up and leave.

I read the message three times before tears well up and spring from my eyes. I’m grateful for the blurry vision. If not for the tears, I would have read it a hundred times.

He wants me to leave. My mind is like a street in New York after a ticker tape parade. Tiny bits of it are flitting in the air in every direction and scattered all over the ground.

This can’t be happening. Everything was perfect this morning when I opened my eyes, and within fifteen minutes it’s been blown to smithereens.

That’s the problem right there. Perfection doesn’t exist, and Nick was damn close to perfect. Loyal, handsome to a fault, loving, compassionate, sexy, playful, hard working, funny … it’s all too much.

I thought I’d found Prince
Charming
, but I got Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde instead. Damn me for being hopeful and naive.

I wipe away the tears and find Emmett has deleted his account.

He deleted us.

He deleted me.

I slide onto the floor and crouch down to pull my bag out from under the bed. I’m stuffing my belongings into it when there is a knock at the door.

“Hey, Téa? You almost ready to go? Nick just texted me and told me to tell you he’s on his way, and Edie and Scarlet should be back any minute.”

I clear my throat and swallow past a giant lump before I answer him.

“Yep, almost ready. I’ll be out in a sec,” I say in an overly cheerful voice.

“Uh, okay. I’m gonna pack up the truck. I’ll be outside if you need me.”

“Thanks, Ben.”

I hear his boots clomp across the wood floor to the front door. I feel bad leaving like this, but from the sound of it, Nick just gave me a heads up via his best friend to clear out before he returns.

It’s wrong not to say goodbye to Serena, but she hardly knows me. In the scheme of things, my presence here is a blip on her life’s radar. I’ll email Nick the photos I’ve taken so far from the plane, and he can give them to her himself.

I feel like Ben, Edie, Nora, and Angus are my family, but losing Scarlet is going to leave a gaping hole in my mangled heart. I’ve fallen in love with that little girl over the past ten days. No, I fell in love with her that very first day when she kicked the back of my seat on the plane.

I’ve even gone so far as to imagine myself as her stepmother someday and Nick’s wife. So stupid.

I zip my bag and check my face in the mirror. My hair is still wet. I dig through my purse quickly, drag a brush through it, and call it good.

I Google Uber and find out that, thank God, they have them in Hawaii too. I tell the driver to pick me up at a diner down the beach from the rental house. When I peek out into the hall, it's all clear. I slip on an old pair of Vans and make it through the house and down the stairs of the back patio silently.