Fain the Sorcerer (10 page)

In which Fain encounters a witch

 

His head freed from the urn, the old man said
‘
Ham is really put in wine?
'
or something like that, and added
‘
This urn is enchanted, and it falls to you to receive its final three wishes!
'

‘
Three wishes eh?
'
Fain said thoughtfully. He could not berate the old man without giving away the fact that he had had wishes from him before. He proceeded with his list.
‘
Well, I wish to have the power to effortlessly and instantly make manifest in my immediate vicinity any object I desire, free to my ownership. Secondly, I wish to be able to shapeshift into the shape of any object or animal I wish to, and back again, when I wish to, to my own human form, without dissembling my innards or otherwise wrecking my health. Thirdly, I want to be able to fly, by merely wishing to do so, while retaining my clothing and luggage, without means of a device, and by this I mean the ability to fly upward and also horizontally and at any other angle I choose, at any speed I choose, and not merely falling downward.
'

‘
You choose well, young stranger,
'
cackled the old lunatic. Fain walked away, went back in time an hour, walked back and helped the old man
'
s head out of the urn.
‘
Can you really butcher rhyme?
'
said the man, or something like that, and then told Fain about the three wishes.

‘
Only three wishes? Well, I happen to be able to see at great distances as though through the strongest telescope ever created, but observing conversations and certain other scenes in this way can be frustrating, and so I wish to be able to hear at great distances, only at times when I want this power to manifest. Secondly, that the sardines I can currently draw magically from my pockets should instead be replaced by chestnuts. Thirdly, I wish that all my magical powers should be imparted to Princess Aleksa of Envashes, while yet retaining such powers myself.
'

‘
You choose well, young stranger,
'
cackled the codger.

Fain transported himself to a warmer continent and over the next several years raised a blue jade palace beside a blue river. Economy was gone from sight the minute the golden pipes took hold. He gathered knowledge and power objects to equal those of Drake
'
s sanctuary. He sat in a floating seat like a huge halfnut surrounded by crystal skulls, magic lamps and shrike mirrors, dealing glass tarot onto thin space. Hex, having absorbed all of Drake
'
s lessons, finally managed to assume his own colour, while retaining the option to blend in. The palace weathered an occasional warm monsoon, Fain taking tea on a jade patio projecting into white air.

In the one hundredth year of his rule Fain came to hear of a powerful sorceress named Pernicia who was in the habit of making people into statues with a casual switch of her hand. After another two years the witch rode out of a purple-stained sky on a canary yellow lash dragon. As this clasped to a stop on the landing stage of the main library, Fain looked up from his seat at the fireplace. He was now a white-haired, sleek-headed vulture of a man with mild eyes.
‘
The Princess looks amazing,
'
he thought.
‘
Off-course beauty is the wildest.
'

‘
Allow me to finish this chapter,
'
he said, returning to his book as the witch dismounted.
‘
You should read this:
The Adventures of Young
Fade
. It
'
s very good.
'

Pernicia was removing her gloves and gazing about at the veins of brilliant metal in the library wall.
‘
In hard times good health is retained by safety or daring. You seem to have chosen safety, old man.
'

‘
You
'
re beautiful.
'

‘
This body is a shell.
'

‘
Some shells are beautiful, don
'
t you think?
'
And Fain found himself thinking of the sea off the mermaid beach, tiny transparent creatures living like a tangle of ghosts. A thousands drinking mouths and red pulsing jellyfish like free hearts.

‘
Well, I
'
m human only in broad outline now, I
'
m glad to say. I suppose I should thank you before I kill you.
'

‘
Has it been that bad?
'

‘
Over a century ago I was the simple Princess of Envashes, when suddenly every idle wish I had became manifest. My nurse burst into flames, I found myself transported to the time of my childhood, I flew through the clouds, terrified. I was condemned as a witch, and so I was. I sought out Drake the Adept, but he evaded me. I was forced to seek out Hackler Thorn.
'

‘
How is Geoffrey?
'

‘
Geoffrey?
Hackler is well, if a little confused these days. His memories keep changing. But he taught me. He helped me discover who was responsible for these powers. In the quest for my own power I have subjected myself to every inconvenience known to man or woman. I have felt pure might. As I entered rooms, you could hear god
'
s teeth chattering.
'

‘
Sounds reasonable. And yet here you are in foreign pants and bleating like an angry child.
'

‘
It
'
s as though all my rages are happening at once. I remember you but I don
'
t remember you. We once met at the centre of a bridge, going opposite ways.
'

‘
Really? I suppose an extreme demand faces its twin brother in the extreme position of reality.
'

‘
Soon traces of greatness were dissolving in my hands as I discovered the truth.
'

‘
That, being a force of nature, sorcery has no more doubt or answers than a flame.
'

‘
Light doesn
'
t preach,
'
Pernicia agreed.
‘
Nor does darkness, nor anything between the two. However, it has glamour. The steps between miracles are never referred to, but style is always allowed to remain. It will have to be enough.
'
87

‘
Not for me.
'

Pernicia stood behind his chair.
‘
Look at you, so strong and wrong. Salt of the earth.
'

‘
I
'
ve striven to fail, but ...
'
Fain looked apologetic.

‘
Your corpse will have a small brook going through it before anyone realises you
'
re dead.
'

‘
People have been promising me terrifying consequences for years, and all I get is the same dross.
'

‘
So how would you want it. Would you be turned to a statue, ivy clasped about your naked vitals?
'

‘
The notion is strangely exciting.
'

Pernicia switched the glass of the window to stone so that the place was blotted in darkness, the dragon locked outside. Only the firelight illuminated Fain
'
s book.

‘
Now all the strange terrors of my travels seem unreal,
'
muttered Fain, looking into the flames.
‘
Even boring.
'

Then he remembered the book.

‘
Ah, I
'
m almost done. Young Fade finds he must steal a red egg from a gryphon nest atop a mountain
—
he magics himself directly there, but finds himself inside the egg, surrounded by black jelly. Upon his breaking out, the gryphon thinks he is her chick. He is still in a stupor when she feeds him something terrible, and then pushes him off the mountain edge to teach him to fly. How will he survive such a fall?
'

‘
I know a spell,
'
Pernicia whispered,
‘
that rids you of all your magic powers but the first you acquired.
'

‘
Ah, the Sultan
'
s Depth Spell. I know of it.
'

She leaned down. Her kiss left him in astonishment.

‘
You just received it.
'

‘
What.
'

Pernicia stepped back, triumphant.
‘
Try it. Anything.
'

Fain stood, unsteadily. He wished himself invisible, and remained visible. He wished a cage around Pernicia, and there was no cage.

Only his first gift.

But what of his last gift? Fain remembered the wording of his request, and the old man
'
s perversity.
‘
That all my magical powers should be imparted to Princess Aleksa of Envashes, while yet retaining such powers myself.
'
He repeated to himself:
‘
While yet retaining such powers myself.
'

‘
What?
'

‘
You
'
ll find you
'
ve lost all your own gifts, Pernicia, since you received them all at once, and you retain yours only while I yet retain mine.
'

‘
The spell has loosened your wits.
'

‘
You still have your dragon. And I still have one gift. Goodbye.
'

Fain travelled fifty years back, spent a few weeks gathering what he needed from the palace, left Hex in charge, went back another sixty or so years, and began the long journey to Envashes.

89

 

 

 

In which Fain finds the old man

 

More than a year later, Fain arrived to find the mossed cave empty. With no way of knowing when the old lunatic would show up or of hastening time forward, Fain set up camp in the cave, and waited.

Over time, the few artefacts he had brought from the palace began to look strange on the shelves of the cave. Did they really belong in a palace? And how did
The Adventures of Young Fade
end? He sat inventing endings for the book. But wasn
'
t the end already written?

Fain remembered a long golden beach, and shells of red gold collected in a green gold grotto. He remembered a woman with gold eyes and a hard smooth head like a seal
'
s. Who was he waiting for?

He roasted chestnuts on a fire outside the cave, and those he didn
'
t eat he stored in a jar. One night he tipped the jar over, hearing a nut rattling around inside which refused to fall out. Sticking his head inside, he quickly understood that he was stuck. He could smash the jar on the cave wall, but wasn
'
t it valuable or special? He should wait a while before doing anything rash.

The next day he heard someone approaching the cave. It was a young man, sounding weary, and Fain remembered.

‘
Hello old lunatic. Let me help you with that.
'

The young man smashed the urn from his head.

‘
Man, you really took your time,
'
said Fain, chuckling at the sight of his younger self, and told him about the three wishes.

‘
Only three wishes?
'
said his younger self.
‘
Well, I happen to be able to see at great distances as though through the strongest telescope ever created, but observing conversations and certain other scenes in this way can be frustrating, and so I wish to be able to hear at great distances, only at times when I want this power to manifest. Secondly, that the sardines I can currently draw magically from my pockets should instead be replaced by chestnuts. Thirdly, I wish that all my magical powers should be imparted to Princess Aleksa of Envashes, while yet retaining such powers myself.
'

‘
You choose hell, young stranger,
'
Fain cackled. And he found himself traversing a golden mapless land via Drake
'
s curse and blessing to arrive in the shallow surf of a warm beach. Beside him lay the mermaid, telling him about a conch shell through which he could speak into the dreams of any person anywhere.

No, he would not use the shell to escape paradise. He would be witness to the blue sky, and the flashing tail of his beloved. He would finish his lessons in understanding the ocean
'
s sand-messages. He would live out his life where the sea polished every shell to a precious gem and colours lived for their own deep sake.

 

 

[end]

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