Fag Hag (Robert Rodi Essentials) (36 page)
Read Fag Hag (Robert Rodi Essentials) Online
Authors: Robert Rodi
Another awkward pause. “Well, I’m glad it’s all working out.”
“Peter, you know how sorry I am.”
“I know—we don’t need to go through that now.”
“Right, you’re right.”
“Just get yourself back on track. That’s all I want to see.”
“I just wish things could be back the way they were.”
“You and about four billion other people.”
She paused. “But not you.”
“Well, no. Not me.”
She sighed. “Friends?”
He didn’t answer for a moment, as though he were giving the idea some thought. “Okay. Sure. Friends.”
“Merry Christmas to you and Lloyd. I love you both. And I owe you so much. I mean it.”
“We both love you back. And Merry Christmas to everyone there.”
She put down the phone and fought back a little cyclone that was whipping up in her breast, until it had been reduced to a manageable wisp. Then she put her earring back on and rejoined her family and friends. Just as she rounded the corner to the living room, she heard her mother shriek.
“Oh, Natalie! Come and see what Hank’s given me!” She raised her arm, and perched on her index finger was a dazed-looking parrot, no bigger than her hand. Its feathers were brilliant green, its breast a deep red.
Natalie approached and said, “Can I pet him?”
“Sure,” said Hank; “he’s been hand-raised, so he loves people. Though he’s probably a little overwhelmed right now. I have a cage for him, too—it’s out in the car,” he added to Sandy. “And some food. He’s a maroon-bellied conure. He won’t grow much bigger than this.”
“Hank, he’s just gorgeous!” Sandy said, pursing her lips and making smacking sounds at the bird—who, it must be said, seemed somewhat dismayed by this.
“I knew you could never have another dog after Carmen DeFleur, but I thought the house needed a pet, and this little guy should keep you company.”
“You’re an angel. I’ll call him Victor Galworthy. That seems to suit him.”
“Oh, Mom,” Calvin groaned in exasperation. “Why can’t you ever just name an animal Speedy or Gus or Tootsie, like everyone else in the western hemisphere?”
“Animals have their dignity, too,” she protested. “I keep telling you.”
At which moment, the bird took a healthy-sized dump in the palm of her hand.
A
FEW HOURS
later, mother and daughter hugged goodbye. “Thank you for everything,” said Natalie. “Love you, Mom.”
“I wish I could convince you to stay the night.”
She shook her head. “I have to walk Brynocki. And be there to feed him in the morning.”
“You could’ve just brought him.”
“Just as well I didn’t. He’d have eaten Victor Galworthy.” She paused. “Anyway, I’ll be back tomorrow to help clean up.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary, honey.”
“No, I want to.”
“Well…all right, then. Merry Christmas, darling.”
“Merry Christmas, Mom.”
S
HE WAS NEARLY
home when an odd compulsion came over her. She passed her house and kept driving, down to Halsted Street, where she took a hard left and motored up through the gay ghetto.
There was a surprising number of men in the streets, some of them in Santa drag, some dressed in festive but unidentifiable costumes, most just bundled up in black leather against the cold.
At the Cornelia Street stoplight, a stream of people crossed in front of her. There was an overweight, overdressed girl—she couldn’t have been more than twenty-two—on the arm of a strikingly handsome man with gales of blow-dried hair. She was chirping away at him drunkenly while he looked all around him, his eyes searching, searching…
The girl slipped on a patch of ice and fell in front of Natalie’s van. The man helped her up; she was laughing wildly—she couldn’t know how ridiculous she must look to him. She rested her hand on Natalie’s hood while she righted herself. The she patted her hair into place, turned to Natalie, and waved. “It’s okay!” she cried, continuing across the street with her friend. “You can move on now!”
They slipped into The Men’s Room, which was surprisingly crowded, considering that it was Christmas night. Natalie craned her neck to try to follow the girl’s progress through the bar, but the windows were dark and clouded with steam, and it was difficult to see through them. She could just make out her blond curls floating above the sea of male hairlines…
The driver of the car behind her honked. She looked up and saw that the light had turned green. She pressed her foot to the accelerator and moved on.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
