Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (20 page)

The sound seemed to make his eyes burn
brighter, and he kissed me so deeply I felt like Jell-O in his arms. His tongue
caressed mine as it moved in and out of my mouth, and this, paired with an
equal amount of his lips massaging mine, drove me crazy. Every time the kiss
broke, I took a breath.

My breathing became more like moaning. I
didn’t even care if I was being loud or not because the pure pleasure of touch
was rapture. It was something I never got to experience until now, and I wasn’t
sure how I lived without this for so long.

Needing more of him under my skin, I hooked
my arms tightly around his neck, my outstretched palms slipping under his
collar and greedily running over his broad shoulders and back. One hand ran
down the long muscles surrounding his spine, the other around his shoulder. I
pulled them back out of his shirt to steady myself on his shoulders.

He moved his lips below my jawline, and I
experienced an entirely new sensation that shot chills down my neck and spine.
My hands fisted with the unnerving and almost unbearable pleasure of it, and my
fingers curled, bunching the cloth of his shirt, my nails scratching him hard,
even over the thick material. This made him press his body harder against mine,
and I wanted everything it offered. The whole experience was intoxicating, and
I still wasn’t sure what I thought of Gavin, but I didn’t care.

Screw logic, or for better words, to hell
with it.

Something in him changed instantly, and he
pushed himself away so fast, I didn’t have time to catch my fall. I went
straight down to my feet, from there, right to my ass.

After catching my breath, I looked at him
with annoyance, “What the hell was that about?”

He couldn’t look at me yet, and I noticed he
was having trouble steadying his own breathing. “I can’t do this, not now. If I
went through with this, you’d hate me tomorrow, and most likely, blame me for
taking advantage of you.”

“Oh, yeah, pulling away and rejecting me is
a much better way of avoiding a fight. Smart thinking,” I said harshly. Why did
he get to decide what I needed and what I wanted all the time?

“Please. Don’t. You should just get some
rest now, sober up a little, and we can talk tomorrow,” he said with finality.
There he went again, thinking he knew best, and that whole getting the last
word thing was really getting under my skin. I pushed to my feet preparing for
a fight.

“If you didn’t want me you could have said
that a little sooner,” I shouted.

“I never said that. Can we please just put
this argument off until tomorrow?” he begged.

“Fine,” I said moving to the door, where I
had kicked off my boots earlier. I grabbed one, and before reaching for the
other one, he spun me around with concern etched on his face.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
he demanded.

“I need to hunt. I’m wasting time here. I
have to get back out there,” I said mechanically. It was what I did, what I
knew best, my comfort zone. I needed to pummel something.

“No way, you’re in no condition to go out
there. Please,” he repeated with a pain in his eyes that stopped me short of my
next retort.

I felt reason seeping back into my head as I
considered the fumble I had earlier with the humans. Before I could say
anything, he sensed my wavering uncertainty, and took advantage of it by
scooping me up into his arms and laying me softly onto my bed. The dizziness
returned briefly before clearing again.

I shot up to my elbows, “I need to go,” I
insisted again.

He leaned over me, propping himself up above
me with both arms, “I’ll do it.”

I was about to get up again, but he expected
my skepticism and put a hand on my shoulder to hold me down. “I promise. I’ll
hunt tonight,” he said with added sincerity.

I held his gaze with uncertainty and made sure
he knew my reluctance to this idea. He relaxed more when he saw the decision on
my face. I fell back down to my pillow with a huge sigh of concession. The
motion sent a pain from the back of my skull to the front, and my hand came
down on my forehead with a smacking sound. “Ow,” I said pathetically.

He chuckled softly before running his hand
across my face. I caught his hand, not sure of my next move, but since rational
thought hadn’t quite returned to me, I took advantage of this whole not-thinking
idea of mine. Instead of listening to logic and pushing his hand away, I used
all my strength to pull him in and pressed my lips against his once more. His
kissed me back, automatically tilting his head to get even closer and molding
his lips sweetly with mine.

Pulling back slightly, I said, “You enjoyed
that. I know you did.”

“Again, I wasn’t denying that I did,” he whispered
with a half-smile.

“But I thought you hated my reckless
behavior? Wouldn’t you say getting physical with a vampire is pretty reckless?”
I shot back at him.

He laughed and replied, “There’s always an
exception to the rule.”

“You would say that. Since you think you’re
the one who makes the rules. Just remember, come tomorrow, I’m going back to
kicking your ass.”

At that, he laughed again, and stood to
leave, “Looking forward to it.”

“Oh, and if I find out there were any deaths
tonight, they’re going to be on you, and you’ll get more than just a little
yelling and screaming,” I threatened.

“Get some rest, woman,” he said before
leaving.

My eyes were becoming heavy and my lids
drooped closed, but before I drifted off, there was another question on my
mind. “Gavin?”

“Yeah?”

“Do I remind you of yourself? Is that why
you’re helping me?”

There was a moment of hesitation before he
answered, “That might be a part of it. It might be why I’m so hard on you. I
don’t want you to have to go through some of the things I went through. I want
to protect you from those things and everything else. I know I can be
overbearing, but I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you. Just know that
I’m on your side. I always have been. Get some rest now.” And at that, he was
gone.

Always the demanding one, he was. I wasn’t
expecting so much honesty from him, but it was really nice to hear. My head was
pounding, and trying to replay the events of tonight was an impossible task, so
I succumbed to sleep. I was so drowsy and still intoxicated, so it was easy to
fall asleep. Later in the night, I dreamt that he was there again, caressing my
cheek softly and kissing my forehead.

†

When I woke late the next morning, I felt
like crap and noticed a bottle of aspirin and tall glass of water on my little
stool nightstand. I would probably need the whole bottle to cure the aches I
was currently experiencing. I had no idea what a hangover felt like, but what I
was feeling was like I had spent the entire night getting my ass kicked by
ancient vampires. No muscle was spared the pain and discomfort, so I reached
for the water. I swallowed big satisfying gulps of surprisingly cold water.
There were tiny remnants of ice cubes still floating on the surface as if it
were poured not long ago.

The memories of last night began bubbling to
the surface of consciousness as I remembered the discoveries I made of the
mysterious vampire that would be in so much trouble for the new images that
were popping into my mind.

I remembered the carefree attitude I had
toward the end of the night and vowed never to drink again. The uninhibited
decisions I made could never be repeated, and he, being of a sound mind knew I
would never have allowed the things that took place in this very bedroom to
occur if I hadn’t been so drunk. I could kill him for taking advantage of my
emotions, emotions that stemmed from weak human urges.

Sexual frustration was simply something that
just got in my way of fulfilling my real purpose for being. Eradicating evil
from this world was a job that couldn’t afford those types of distractions. Wasn’t
he the one who said not to get distracted by sex?

What was he thinking? Was he testing me to
prove I could be easily distracted? He had said once that he didn’t have those
kinds of feelings for me, but that didn’t seem right. After what I saw in his
eyes last night, I knew there had to be something there.

A thought occurred to me then. Maybe he
stopped because he realized he was just as easily distracted. The idea of him
having actual feelings for me made me all warm inside, which was not something
I was prepared to deal with at this time. The man was too much of an enigma to
form those kinds of assumptions right now. He had such a profound effect on my
emotional state that it probably wasn’t the best idea to charge over to
confront him just yet.

It was time for a break with the mystery
vampire who had the tendency to obscure my priorities and put my senses in a
chaotic frenzy. I needed to get my mind right, and maybe time away from him
would increase my abilities to rationalize.

“Now would be a good time to stop talking,”
said the bad guy.

“Hmmm,” I pondered while conveying my
disinterest. It always annoyed them when they realized the point when their
threats became useless, but that was what made this job more fun for me. I
continued goading him, “Now’s not really a good time for me.”

If his pale, pasty cheeks could flame I was
sure they would be bright red with anger by now, because this ugly bastard was
seething. He came at me, full speed, and I caught his throat with my forearm.
It had been a while since I had the chance to clothesline someone, and it felt
damn good. I rode out the euphoria, using it to finish off this big, ugly
black-eyed sucker.

Once he was a pile of ash at my running
shoes, I noticed the old chain swings swaying back and forth in the wind. I was
at a playground in an unfamiliar neighborhood of St. Louis, far away from the
usual hunting grounds I was used to, but apparently, just as active. I made a
note to explore more areas of town when I went out. The cold night breezes
stung my eyes and sent chills down the exposed skin of my neck, making me
burrow into my coat further.

When the muscle aches from the morning had
subsided, I crawled out of bed and let the hot water of my shower work out the
rest of the kinks. After checking the news to make sure there were no missing
persons and being satisfied there were none, I went out to walk the city and
hadn’t stopped walking until eventually ending up here, in this very desolate
and eerie park.

It smelled like pencil shavings from the
freshly-laid woodchips on the playground, and there were shiny bolts sticking
out of the top of the A-frame on the swing set, suggesting this park was still
in use but not necessarily a priority of the neighborhood. Rusting on the
chains and slides showed aging. I bet this playground got a lot of wear over
the years, but right now, it felt dead.

I placed a foot on the merry-go-round and
bent to tie my shoe. The weight of my foot shifted it slightly off balance. The
axle groaned with the light movement, and the screeching metal on metal sound
was yet another clue to the rundown of this particular playground. I could
almost feel the ghostly presence of all the children who once played hear
resonating from each apparatus. The wind continued to echo that presence by
bringing the swings and merry-go-round to life again. The creepy sounds of
rusty equipment coupled with the equally eerie moments of bone-chilling silence
were making me mad, so I switched my I-pod back on to add a little more life to
the moment.

Running a hand over the bar of the
merry-go-round, I walked toward the last swing and sat. I pushed off the ground
moving back and forth slowly, thus, adding my own child-like presence to the
mix. I began easing into my surroundings as I waited for more vamps to come out
of the woodwork. My content was short lived when it was disrupted by another,
all-to-familiar presence.

Damn. I was hoping to avoid this
confrontation, but if he wanted a fight, I was happy to assist. I pushed pause
on my song before addressing him directly. “What do you want now?”

“I thought we were going to… discuss last
night’s events. Don’t tell me you’ve gone shy on me,” he mocked my words from
last night that had just barreled back into memory loud and unwelcome.

I didn’t have to turn around to see the
arrogant smile I was sure he wore. I stayed seated but dragged my feet along
the worn dirt patch below, coming to a stop. “Now’s not really a good time for
me,” I repeated, hoping it would work just as well on him as it did on my
previous kill. “Unwanted sexual tension is not really on my list of things to
address.”

“Unwanted?” he said with feigned horror.
“Tension is always unwanted. That’s why it’s always best to cut the tension.
I’d be happy to relieve any tension you might be experiencing.” He was messing
with me.

I shot up to face him, a little hot from the
suggestion but mostly angry that he wasn’t taking anything seriously. “You want
to cut the tension? Okay. How’s this? If you ever take advantage of me again
like that while I’m in a state of mental weakness, I won’t hesitate to drive a
stake through your heart. And the sexual tension to which I was referring was
yours, so maybe you should consider relieving it yourself.”

I wasn’t sure I believed all of that,
especially the part about the tension just being his, but I needed him to put
this behind us if he was going to continue helping me with this town’s vampire
situation. And if I was being completely honest with myself, I was pretty sure
the alcohol wore off on the walk home, but I wasn’t in the mood for honesty…
with myself.

“Ouch. I guess we can move on and get back
to business then. Oh, what I came to say was that I got another lead on the
suicide murders and that I was going to be investigating for the next few
nights. Trixie gave me a clue as to what I was looking for. That’s what I
wanted to discuss with you, but since you brought it up, because you’re clearly
over it, I guess I should stay away for a while to work on getting my libido in
check.” His voice was icier than the air around me, and he turned to disappear
in the night. It was the first time that I noticed he was actually affected by
what I said. He seemed almost
hurt
.

“Shit. Wait,” I said guiltily.

“Don’t worry. I’ll let you know if I find
anything,” he called back.

“Gavin, stop,” I shouted, wanting more
resolution than that.

He flashed back over to me, stopping only
inches from my face. He brought a hand up around the side of my neck, gently
placing his thumb under my chin, guiding it up in order to give me a clear view
of his cold ice blue eyes. “Can you honestly tell me that it’s me you’re afraid
of, or is it you?”

He looked deep into my eyes, finding the
fear I had for the feelings I didn’t want to have. Still unable to be honest
with myself, I couldn’t answer out loud and didn’t need to. That fear radiated
from my expression now. It was written all over me, exposed for him to exploit
as he saw fit. I waited for the big ‘I told you so,’ but he said nothing.

His eyes warmed and the fingertips that bit
into the side of my neck softened and lightly trailed away from me while their
touch left a lingering impression on my skin moments after he pulled away.

Before he left he said, “I’m sorry, for what
I did. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that, but it won’t happen
again. I promise. I’ll let you know when I find something new,” he said in his
business voice.

I didn’t say anything, just watched him
leave. If I had, it would have been an apology for the way I reacted, and for
what I still wasn’t ready to apologize for. I couldn’t give him what we both
wanted, because I couldn’t allow myself to, and for the first time, I saw it on
his face how much that hurt him. It took every ounce of my control to resist
the urge I had to wrap my arms around his neck in an embrace that would have,
no doubt, done irreversible damage to me.

Mustering a little honesty, now, to fight
the urge, I knew I still didn’t trust him. Getting closer to him would be like
stepping closer to the edge of darkness. What if I got lost in the dark and
there was no way out? If I crossed that line there would be no turning back. He
was still a vampire that I knew very little about, and although his actions
would suggest he had more than friendly feelings for me, it wasn’t real. That
realization sent a pang through my core.

Vampires couldn’t experience true emotions,
and I had to keep reminding myself of that before my human emotions could alter
me permanently. Focusing on hunting was what I would do before the inner
turmoil could rip me apart.

The sound of whining metal startled me, and
I turned my I-pod back on, hurrying out of the playground. I scoured the city
that night for new hunting grounds, looking for any hot spots for future
patrolling. Most places I visited were calm, but there were a few I vowed to
return to another night.

A couple run-ins made me suspicious of
possible dens in the areas. I would have to come back and investigate some
other time. Once I discovered a den, I needed to be sure before acting on it
during the day. I wouldn’t want to bust into a place with human inhabitants.
Staying off the police radar and out of jail was a big part of hunting. I still
had to keep my own degree of secrecy.

Feeling satisfied with the night’s kills and
the fact that there were no signs of spies, I headed back to my apartment where
I fell asleep easily. No haunting dreams disrupted my sleep, and a blissful
night’s rest left me ready for another good night of patrolling.

†

The first thing on my mind was checking out
a potential den I noted on my hike yesterday. I scoped out the surrounding area
all night watching for activity. In my experience, vampires didn’t feed near
their dens. To some, especially nomadic vampires, their place of rest didn’t
matter as much as their food. They shacked up anywhere they deemed safe from
sun exposure, and dens were something that could be shared among them, unlike
food. They weren’t as aggressive toward each other when it came to a place to
sleep. I assumed they found it to be safer. It made sense. When they were at
their most vulnerable, it was safer in numbers. On the other hand, for a
vampire hunter, finding a full den wasn’t a threat. It was a major score.

Apparently, I should have been taking cues
from the vamps who were spying on me, because my spy skills were a little
rusty. For the first few hours, I just wandered aimlessly, hoping for a break.
I was distracted by vampires who were just trying to find a fresh meal. I
wasn’t going to stand by and let people die just so I could find a den, but
once I got back on track, I focused on circling the area I originally noted the
night before.

A vampire’s feeding ground was not in the
same location as their den because of the aggression. If there was competition
or fighting over meals among den mates, someone in the den wouldn’t survive the
day. Also, feeding farther away from the den deflected any human attention or
suspicion from it. So actually, I was doing myself a favor by taking out the
vampires feeding in this area because they sure as hell weren’t going to be
very helpful in leading me to the den I was searching for.

I eventually made a perch on one of the tallest
buildings in the area that gave me a panoramic view of the potential den zone.
Although I was sacrificing my vampy senses by being all the way up here, I
decided to rely on my super vision for spotting suspicious vampires. Just
sensing their presence near me wouldn’t be enough. I had to monitor their
behavior and see which direction they were headed. The ones being the sneakiest
and not following a human, while trying to hide their tracks were the ones I
needed to follow.

I wished someone had warned me how boring
being a spy was. I was on the roof for about ten minutes before I got anxious
for action, sans my I-pod. I needed my hearing tonight as much as my sight.
Pacing back and forth was not helping either. I might as well have been
shouting at the top of my lungs and wearing bright colored clothes with a neon
sign above me that read “Vampires Beware.” What I needed to do was find a Zen-like
state while I waited for a vamp to come along. This whole spying thing would
probably be easier if I picked just one particular vampire to track. It made me
realize how easy it was for them to spy on me. They must have been really put
off when Gavin stepped in to take over my hunting duties.

I sat down on the cold concrete rooftop with
my arms propped up on the ledge and my chin resting in between my outstretched
hands wondering if it actually was possible for a vampire to have good
intentions. Everything Gavin had done so far did not add up to a bad guy, or the
typical vampire. Something inside of me knew he wasn’t like them, and his
obvious physical differences clarified that gut feeling.

He was stronger than most vampires and maybe
even stronger than assassin vampires, but as it turned out, he was not as
ancient as I had once assumed, or at least, not according to him. He was
obviously faster than any vampire I have encountered. Also, there was that
whole psychic slash emotional connection. He had a tendency to know exactly
where I was when I was in trouble, and I often wondered if he could actually
read minds. And then there was the why. Why did he always save me? That wasn’t
typical vampire behavior at all, but the fact that I didn’t know his intentions
was exactly why I could not allow myself to trust him for any reason.

I went back and forth for what felt like
hours weighing everything I have learned about Gavin, only to realize he was
still a mystery to me, and he would continue to be a mystery for as long as he
wanted. When he decides I am ready to know more, he’ll tell me, but I was
confused as to how he would determine when I was ready. What the hell did he
want from me?

The memory of his hands on my body flooded
my consciousness, making my cheeks flame. I immediately dodged that question,
not needing the answer at the moment. My eyes were unfocused, but they caught
sight of movement down on the street below. Quickly remembering why I was
freezing my ass off out here, I focused my eyes on the darting shadows.

It was important for me to stay off the vampire’s
radar. I definitely didn’t need to tip him off to my presence before finding
the hideout. Sticking to the rooftops, I kept low, jumping from roof to roof
with as light of an impact as I could manage. I ran parallel to the vampire on
top of the cityscape while he was on the opposite side of the street. Once he
ducked into the darkness of the alleys, I lost sight of him and quickly made my
way down to street level and back up to the rooftops on that side.