Fade to Red (11 page)

The dreams didn’t stop. Beckham dreamed about Roxie almost every night. They were either dancing or he was exploring her body like a man starved. He didn’t know if his dreams of her were memories or just the desire he’d had for her from the moment he saw her. Knowing how he’d wanted her from that first day, he couldn’t understand how he could ever forget her, but there was a stretch of time before he’d gone in rehab that he’d never even admitted to himself how bad off he’d really been. There were significant chunks of time that were completely lost—he couldn’t remember anything with clarity. The shame of that lingered before he ever saw Roxie, but knowing she had also been involved, and obviously hurt, ate away at him.

A few weeks before they were supposed to go on the road, he’d had another dream and showed up at rehearsal looking haggard. He kept his distance from her now when they weren’t dancing, watching her laugh and talk with the others. She seemed a little older than the rest, more mature. Everyone, including Anthony, was crazy about her. When her guard was down, which was miles high with
only
him, she was charming and funny. And caring—nurturing even. During any down time, she pulled out her knitting needles and made it look incredibly cool. Even Shelton, who was the snarky one out of the bunch, wore the scarf she made for him every day.

She’d won Sparrow over within the first three minutes of their meeting. Now Sparrow came in frequently, and she and Roxie always chatted away like they’d been friends forever. He was glad they’d hit it off so well.

But he wanted in. It was more than making it up to her. It was more than sex, although that’s all he could think about, at first. But every day he was around her, he wanted to know her.
Really
know her.

Lately she stuck around for lunch, disappearing less and less, and making him hope that she was finally getting more comfortable around him. But today, when they took their lunch break, she gave a wave and took off. On a whim, he followed her, telling himself it wasn’t creepy at all that he tried to make sure she didn’t see him.

He didn’t have to follow her for long. She pulled up to a Taco Bell and hopped out of the car. She waved at someone, but he couldn’t see who. Taking a deep breath, he put on a cap, parked, and got out of the car.

Roxie laughed her throaty laugh, looking toward the window of the restaurant. Beckham stepped beside Roxie and started walking in with her like it was no big deal. When she noticed him, she stopped walking in the middle of the parking lot.

“Beckham? What are you doing here?” Roxie said sharply.

“I … followed you. Sorry.” He tried to judge how mad he’d made her this time. “I wanted to know where you go when you disappear, maybe surprise you.” He tried to smile, but it came out lopsided and guilty. “Now I realize what a bad move this was. I just-I want us to get along, Roxie … I thought maybe away from everyone else, you’d talk to me? Maybe tell me what I can do to make it better?”

“I’ve made it a point not to tell you anything,” she said, but without her usual anger.

The words stung, but she looked so distraught he couldn’t be too upset with her. He put his hand on her arm.

“Please, hear me out. I know you hate me. I want to know everything that happened, everything that I screwed up before with you. But first, can you … try to get to know the person I am now? Trust me, I don’t follow every dancer home from rehearsal,” he said with a laugh. When she didn’t laugh, he wiped the smile off his face. “I don’t want all this tension between us. It’ll show when we’re dancing. We need to find a way to work past this.”

“I think we’re working together just fine. Do you not think I’m doing a good job?”

“You’re doing an amazing job,“ he conceded. “But imagine how much better it would be if you didn’t despise me.” He laughed lightly and when she still didn’t, he looked at her helplessly. “Help me make it right,” he pleaded.

“You can’t make it right,” she whispered.

A few cars drove around them. One honked and Beckham took her elbow and guided her to the sidewalk.

“What did I
do
to you?” He turned around and put his hands against the brick. Before turning around again, he said: “Roxie, you have to tell me what happened.”

“I can’t.” She held her lips together to keep from crying.

“Then why did you come? Why did you agree to do this tour with me?” His stare pinned her to one spot.

“You and Anthony—you’re the best there is. I didn’t think I would make it! And then when Anthony called and I saw how much I’d make … I couldn’t turn that down! My sister had this obsessive, abusive, jerk boyfriend. She was with him for years and needed to get away from him, and … we’ve both struggled for a long time. I just … I should have, but I couldn’t say no.”

He turned and put his hands on her arms. “I’m glad you couldn’t. So your sister is staying in town too?”

She nodded.

“I’d love to meet her. She’s welcome to come hang at the warehouse anytime.” He took a deep breath and then went for it. “Can we call a truce? I’m not so bad…” His voice trailed off and he lost his thought. Her lips looked so perfect. If he could just get a little closer to her mouth…

He nearly stumbled when she took a step back.
Such
an idiot. Holding up both hands, he took his own step back and shook his head. He put his hands on his head and left them there.

“I don’t know what my problem is. I’m sorry. I can’t stop blowing it with you. Look, I will stick to keeping this professional … even though I feel something with you that I don’t want to … ignore,” Beckham paused, but when Roxie still didn’t speak, he continued. “I won’t cross the line with you anymore, Roxie. No more following-you stunts…”

“That would be good, thank you.” She gave a small smile to counter some of her sarcasm.

Her smile fell before he could blink. Dammit, she was so hard to read.

She took a deep breath and blew it out of her mouth. “Professional, you said.” Her voice shook at first, but grew stronger. “Yes, that’s the only way.” She nodded and avoided looking him in the eye. “We have to keep it professional. Deal?” She held her hand out.

He shook it and tried to ignore the heat he felt in her touch as they stared each other down. He should have been disappointed by what she’d said, but he saw warmth in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. It almost made him … hopeful.

Beckham lifted Roxie’s hand to his lips and planted a soft kiss on it.

There was the tiniest flicker of a smile before she scowled and pulled her hand away. “We made a deal!”

He raised his eyebrows and couldn’t stop the smile that covered his face. “What?”

Her hands were on her hips and her forehead was all scrunched up.

“
What?
” he repeated, laughing.

She waved her hand in the air, dismissing him. “Go home already. Use your Beckham Woods charm on someone else.”

“There’s the Roxie I know.” He laughed. “See you tomorrow, Rox. Wait—so you think I’m charming?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Lose the hat, never get such a short haircut again, and you might improve on the charm factor.”

“You don’t like my new haircut?”

She just continued to stare.

“So basically how I was before I got this new haircut, minus the hat?”

He took the hat off and threw it in the garbage can, then made a slight bow in front of her. When he stood back up, he raised his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes. “Right. I’ll get started on growing the hair. Got any good tips for that?” He backed away, still smiling and unable to look away from her.

She looked so cute angry.

Almost as good as she’d look in his bed.

Shit. Hopeless.

There had been additions to the wall. Several, in fact. She learned quickly that Beckham’s manager was worthless in providing any information; he was more of an annoyance. Beckham’s bodyguard, Howie, looked like a block but had ruined her plans more than once. Chloe, the airheaded brat who was just
always there
. The girl needed to get a life and do something irresponsible once in a while. Like, look away, or better yet, walk away, so trouble had a chance. And it angered her every time she looked at her masterpiece dart wall and saw the little boy. She had a larger picture of him and he was covered with tacks.

She’d known to be cautious of that bitch, Roxie. Having a cute little boy like Leo was even more of a draw than a puppy, although she hadn’t seen Roxie utilize that yet. To add salt to the wound, she’d seen Beckham and Roxie at the show the night before. They were like pure sex together. She’d been so angry by how turned on she got just watching them. Beckham was
hers
, and she didn’t share.

Roxie had some secrets. It was a good thing she was the only one who seemed to know them. She just needed to make sure it stayed that way.

The goody bird bitch Sparrow was always around Roxie now too. It was starting to seriously piss her off. One more person interfering with her target. If it became too big of a problem, Sparrow might have to get hurt just enough to go home. Ian deserved a little fun on the tour anyway. He was way too much man for that twit.

It was all a matter of spacing it out … one hit at a time.

She picked up her bow and shot a dart in the center of Roxie’s heart. It would feel good getting her out of the way.

But, first things first…

Leo.

She just had to bide her time.

The week before they left for three days at Christmastime, Anthony stepped everything up about a dozen notches. He worked them non-stop. They were
ready
for the tour. He gave them a list of instructions of what they could and couldn’t do while they were gone. Roxie was surprised they were even allowed to go home at all. Anthony made them swear they wouldn’t gain an ounce and to dance at least four hours every day to maintain their strength.

Being paired with Beckham so much isolated her from the rest of the group at times. It hadn’t been a problem—she got along fine with everyone, just had to work a little harder to keep it that way. She’d danced her whole life and was used to the competitiveness that drove the profession, so she wasn’t too worried about it. The only one who hadn’t warmed up to her at all was Brooke, but Roxie assumed that was just because Brooke wanted Beckham so badly she couldn’t see straight. Or Ian. Roxie wasn’t sure which man Brooke wanted the most.

She tried to not take it personally when Brooke was rude to her, which was often, but Brooke didn’t really like
anyone
but Beckham, Ian, and Anthony. The tour would be interesting when the six dancers were all crammed together in a bus—without anyone to soften the blow.

She’d gotten fairly close to Sparrow in a short amount of time. Sparrow was quiet at first, but once she was comfortable, the girl was hilarious. Roxie had never had so much fun with any girl, besides Chloe. They’d gone Christmas shopping a few times and hung out whenever Sparrow came to rehearsals, which was frequently once she met Roxie and Beckham’s sister, Sierra. Roxie really liked Sierra too—the three of them just clicked. Vanessa was okay, too, but it was hard to have much of a conversation with her. So Roxie was glad Sparrow and Sierra would be on the tour—friends would make the separation from Leo and Chloe a little easier.

Roxie had managed to maintain a friendly distance from Beckham, even though their bodies were in close contact all day long. He’d grown his hair out, like he said he would, and the thought that he would do that for her secretly thrilled her. She didn’t say a word about it, of course. He also
mostly
did what he promised, keeping everything professional, but in reality, every time he touched her it did things to her insides that got her all tangled up like old Christmas lights. Each day they were together was a steady buildup, until it was all Roxie could do to not wrap her legs around him and never let go.

The minute she would think a thought like that, she became stiff as a board and Anthony would yell at her to loosen up. She knew Beckham felt her weirdness, but he didn’t show it. It seemed as if he became even nicer and more fun to be around. He gave her space during the breaks, he was unfailingly kind and attentive, but no more so than he was with everyone. It was only when they danced that she thought he might still feel that … electricity. Everything else faded and it was just the two of them in their own little world.