Fade to Black (45 page)

“But, Grammy,” Manny says, “what if you can’t take care of me on your own? Who’s going to help us? There’s no one …”

Now that Elizabeth is gone
, he thinks bleakly.

And despite her promises to keep in touch, he knows he can’t count on her. She’s a world away. Pretty soon she’ll forget all about Manny.

But I’ll never forget you
, he tells her silently.
And I’ll never stop wishing that somehow, you could have been my mom
.

G
retchen stands in the lobby of the inn, motionless, listening for the sound of running footsteps belonging to Mallory and Rae.

But all she can hear, drifting in the open window, is the sound of Mallory’s mother outside.

She’s hysterical, ranting, shrieking. “Cindy! You come back here to your mama! Don’t you turn your back on me again. Don’t you make me come looking for you. This was your last chance....”

And, of course, the cameras will be focused on the pathetic figure; maybe the reporter in her expensive designer suit will even be doing a subdued voice-over, shaking her head sympathetically at the tragic scene: a mother offering too little, too late, and a daughter who can’t find it in her stone-cold heart to forgive.

None of that has anything to do with Gretchen.

And she has no intention of being captured on film, a hideous human monster adding to the drama of Mallory and her mother’s plight.

Here, in the shadows of the sleeping inn, she simply stands, her ears trained, waiting …

A creaking floorboard somewhere nearby rewards her.

She moves stealthily through a doorway and down a hall, then stops and listens again.

Nothing.

But she won’t move.

She won’t give up until she and Mallory Eden are face-to-face once again.

M
allory stands at the very edge of the land, the toes of her new hiking boots flush against the rocky dropoff.

Gulls swoop overhead. The air is scented with pine and salt and flowers. In front of her is nothing but vast azure sky, dazzling with sunshine that’s already burned off the early morning fog. And below—straight down, a sheer drop—is the foaming surf of the Pacific Ocean.

She can’t help being reminded of another time, another place, when she had stood, very much like this, poised high above white, thrashing water.

She leans her head back, closes her eyes, and breathes deeply, then, hearing a footstep behind her, she spins around, startled yet careful not to lose her footing.

“Sorry … did I scare you?”

It’s only Rae, who had gone into the underbrush along the trail to answer nature’s call.

“I’m just jumpy,” Mallory tells her, and glances back at the view.

“Don’t worry. We’ve covered miles. They’ll never find us up here. They’re probably still looking for us back at the inn.”

“But we have to go back sooner or later.”

Rae doesn’t reply to that.

“I can’t believe my mother is here,” Mallory says after a moment. “I can’t believe she thinks she can show up with some reporter and a camera crew and expect me to … can’t believe it.”

“I’m assuming you haven’t had any contact with her since your sister died?”

Mallory shakes her head. Rae knows the whole story, of course. She had witnessed Elizabeth’s visit, had seen how Mallory had struggled to establish some bond with her half sibling. But how did you bond with a lying, wasted, selfish junkie?

Elizabeth had stolen money from Mallory, had embarrassed her in front of her friends, had nearly OD’d in the guest room. Mallory had thrown her out the day she’d come home to find her living room filled with drug paraphernalia and spaced-out strangers—and several valuables missing.

“I’m having a party, sis,” Elizabeth had slurred.

When Mallory had tried to kick people out of the place, her sister had flown into a rage, slamming things around, breaking furniture, finally putting her fist through a plate-glass window.

Mallory had paid for her emergency room treatment and tried to force her into rehab. When Elizabeth had refused, she had bought her a ticket back to Chicago. One way.

“What was my mother thinking?” Mallory asks Rae, shaking her head and staring at the sky. “Did she expect me to welcome her into my life with open arms? I can’t do that. She beat me, Rae. And then she left me.”

Her voice is tight. She can’t look at her friend.

But Rae knows. She knows every detail of Mallory’s past. About her teenage mother running off. About Mallory’s guilt over leaving Vera, and about Vera’s sudden death. And about Brawley …

Brawley, who had smothered her with everything but love.

“Everybody in my life has always wanted something from me, Rae,” Mallory says bleakly, her gaze on the horizon. “Everyone except you. Even Gretchen now …”

“I know. She’s a mess.”

“All this time since I left L.A., I’ve been trying not to think about her. Not to wonder … But now I know. I have to help her.”

“Mallory … how?”

“Like she said … I have to pay for a surgeon. Someone who can do something about her face.”

“Do you have that kind of money?”

“No. Not anymore. But I can get it.”

“How?”

“You know how.” Mallory sighs and watches a gull swooping up off the water, arcing across the sky. “I have to come back. I have to start acting again.”

But even as the words spill out of her mouth, she regrets them. She doesn’t want to go back to being Mallory Eden. She doesn’t want to live the rest of her life that way, surrounded by opportunistic hangers-on, and the press always probing.

“Are you sure?” Rae asks quietly.

Something in her tone causes Mallory to turn her head, to look at her friend. She can’t read anything in Rae’s expression, and her eyes are concealed by black designer sunglasses.

But Rae knows her so well. Rae must sense that the decision isn’t an easy one. That she has doubts …

But what choice does she really have?

She owes Gretchen …

And what about herself? She had worked so hard to build a career …

Anyway, she had always loved acting—the actual art. Just not everything that went with it.

But maybe this time it will be different. Maybe this time she can avoid the Hollywood hoopla.

Besides, what else is there for her? Where else is there?

Her thoughts dart fleetingly to Windmere Cove. To Harper. And Manny …

“God, it’s gorgeous,” Rae comments suddenly, looking out over the majestic scenery. “I haven’t been up here since you …”

She trails off.

Mallory shifts uncomfortably and looks at her friend, wishing she could see her eyes.

“Since I supposedly killed myself,” she finishes for Rae, who nods and looks away.

“I’m sorry, Rae. I’m so sorry I did that to you. I know how furious you must be, that I put you through all that. But … if there was anyone I considered telling, it was you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Mallory longs to see what’s in Rae’s eyes, needs to discern whether she’s more angry or hurt. Then she wonders if it even matters. Rae has always been a loyal friend. Her only loyal friend.

She’ll get over it. Maybe she already has.

“I didn’t tell you,” Mallory says carefully, truthfully, “because I didn’t want to put you at risk. I was afraid that whoever was after me would turn to you, thinking you might know something. Or that if you knew I was alive, you wouldn’t truly seem like you were grieving.”

“What you’re saying is that you didn’t think I was a talented enough actress to pull off the role of the grieving friend.”

Mallory frowns, surprised at Rae’s brittle tone. “That’s not what I meant, Rae.”

“Come off it, Mallory. Of course it’s what you meant. You never thought I could act. Neither did Flynn. Nobody in this town ever thought I could act.”

“Rae, come on …”

“But I did it. I pulled it off.”

“Pulled what off?” Mallory feels as though she’s missed part of the conversation. Where had this tension, this resentment come from?

“I played the grieving friend for five years,” Rae is saying. “And do you know what? I’m the best goddamned actress anyone ever saw. I deserve an Oscar for that performance.”

Mallory stares at her in disbelief. “What are you talking about, Rae?”

“Do you actually think I mourned the loss of someone who stole every role I ever should have gotten?”

There’s a rushing sound in Mallory’s ears, blood pumping to her racing heart, panic surging through her veins, disbelieving questions roaring through her mind.

In shock, she can only stare at Rae, feeling as though she’s seeing a stranger.

She looks like Rae—perfectly coiffed despite the long hike, her clothes unrumpled, her bare arms and legs tanned and lean and muscular, her makeup in place.

But Rae wouldn’t talk like this. Rae wouldn’t say …

“If it weren’t for you, I would have made it, Mallory.” Her voice is carefully modulated, the way it always has been. Clear enunciation, East Coast Ivy League inflections and all.

The stranger looks like Rae, and she
sounds
like Rae.

But her eyes …

They’re still hidden behind the dark glasses.

And Mallory wonders what she would see in them if she could.

“Rae, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mallory says, her voice trembling. “I tried to help you.”

“You never tried to help me. You stole every opportunity I ever had. Nobody ever looked past you to see me.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this. I never knew you had so much anger—”

“You never knew me at all. You never bothered to try to know me. It was always about you, Mallory. All of it. The focus was always on you.”

“That’s not true! I cared about you. I asked about your life, about your feelings. You were my friend. But you never wanted to talk about anything personal. You never talked about yourself.”

Rae gives a wintry laugh. “That’s because my life was about hating you.”

“This is—” Mallory breaks off, shakes her head. Her stomach is churning, her mind swirling. “You didn’t always hate me, Rae.”

“In the beginning, maybe I didn’t. Until you kept getting in the way. It would have been so simple if you hadn’t been in the way, Mallory. You should have listened when I tried to get you to leave.”

“What are you talking about? You never—”

“When I sent those letters. And made the phone calls. Do you know how hard it was for me to get that voice box for my phone so that you wouldn’t recognize that it was me? I had to date an asshole of a sound technician just to get access to that equipment. But did you listen? No.”

The impossible, appalling truth is creeping over Mallory like a killing frost.

“It was the perfect plan. And I never realized how well it would work. I knew that all I had to do was scare you into fading away—”

“It was
you
.” Mallory’s voice is barely a whisper. “
You
were the stalker. You tried to kill me. Oh my God. Oh my God …”

“I never tried to kill you, Mallory. You killed yourself, remember? At least, that was what I thought. Very clever, faking your death that way. Anyway, I had no intention of killing you. I just wanted to scare you. And it was so easy. You gave me access to every part of your life—even the keys to your house. You trusted me.”

Oh, God. Mallory remembers the way Rae had first insisted on coming to stay with her after what happened to Mallory’s dog.

Being alone isn’t healthy … I’m coming over
.

“You killed Gent,” Mallory says incredulously, desperately wanting Rae to deny it.

But Rae is nodding, her mouth curling into a grim smile. “I never liked that dog. He smelled. He slobbered all over my clothes.”

“I was heartbroken over what happened to him. And you were the one who sent those flowers that blew up in Gretchen’s face. And you broke into my bedroom with the gun....” Mallory wraps her arms around herself, trying somehow to shield herself from the terrible knowledge “My God, Rae … how could you …?”

“I had only planned to shoot you in the legs,” Rae says matter-of-factly. “But you woke up and moved at the wrong moment. I never meant to hit you in the stomach. And I was sorry about that … I mean, I know you always wanted children. That was what you should have done in the first place. Gone back to Nebraska, married a farm boy, and had a bunch of kids.”

Her voice is mocking now.

This can’t be happening
.

This is a nightmare
.

“I knew that as soon as you were gone, it would be my turn, Mallory. I never thought it would take five years for it to happen, but that doesn’t matter now. It’s finally happened.”

“What’s happened?” Mallory can’t stop shaking. Her hands are icy; her teeth are chattering.

“The new Mallory Eden. That’s me. I’ve finally taken your place. It’s my turn now. And I won’t let you get in the way,” she bites out, malice dripping in every word.