Facing the World (14 page)

‘As you wish,’ Rick said, and turning to look at Sally he shrugged as though puzzled.

The slight action changed the mood. Amy stood and reached for her handbag, preparing to leave, and others followed suit. Within ten minutes everyone except David, his mother and Valmai had gone. Wordlessly Valmai stood Sadie on her feet and came to hug Sally. Then she went into the kitchen with a few dishes, where Mrs Gorse was starting to wash up. Sadly, wondering what had gone wrong, Sally followed.

‘It’s been a lovely day, thank you, Sally,’ Mrs Gorse said. ‘Strange isn’t it that when someone leaves it’s like a signal for all the rest to do the same.’

‘I had hoped they’d stay to finish the cakes you brought,’ Sally replied.

‘Never mind, they’ll keep for a day or so.’

When everyone had gone Sally sat and hugged Sadie and wondered what it was about David that he managed to spoil things. Alone he was a kind, thoughtful man but when anyone else was present he ruined the occasion with a hint of – jealousy? But why? There was nothing between them that could cause such a destructive feeling.

She went for a walk to the park and in the fading light she saw David watching the house. He didn’t acknowledge her and turned a corner before she could speak. She gave an involuntary shiver. Was he a friend, or an enemy? That was a dramatic thought and she walked faster as though to run away from it, but it remained. She had the feeling that with David Gorse, she had to be either friend or enemy; with him there was no middle ground. The thought played on her mind as she drifted into sleep and caused troubled dreams.

The landlord came back and fixed curtain rails in all the rooms and as he was leaving he brought in a very large Christmas tree.

‘Thank you,’ she said politely, wondering what she would find to fill it. He went to the car again and came back with an assortment of tinsel. ‘This will make a start,’ he said as though reading her thoughts.

In fact the tree was fun to decorate. Sally made stars which Sadie helped to colour and place among the branches and hair ribbons were used too, much to Sadie’s amusement.

Amy called while the work was in progress and advised uselessly on the position of some of the better of Sadie’s efforts. Sally smiled in relief that at least one problem had been eased. Amy was certainly more friendly.

‘I hope you don’t mind, Sally, but Rick and I have talked over this problem of yours. He told me about your not knowing where Rhys is living. I have to go to Bristol to buy some special material and I wondered if you and Sadie would like to come? I can leave you in the area you need to search and pick you up later.’ Once they had decided on the most suitable day for them both, Sally agreed.

The journey was pleasant and they talked mostly about the
forthcoming
wedding. As they drew closer to their destination, Sally went quiet, afraid of what she would learn. Amy went to deal with her business, having arranged a meeting place for later, and Sally took Sadie in her pushchair to the café.

It was with some trepidation that she approached the place to which she had posted her letters and the monthly sum of money. The man behind the counter was not the same as before. He was young and obviously new as he had difficulty finding what was needed when Sally asked for cheese on toast.

‘I’m just filling in for my uncle,’ he explained, having found the cheese in a second fridge.

‘You wouldn’t know anything about the man who used to collect his post here, would you?’ Sally asked, with little hope. To her surprise the young man looked away as though embarrassed.

‘I don’t know anything about post, Mrs. Now, cheese on toast, a pot of tea and orange juice for the little girl. Will that be all?’

Since she had asked her question he hadn’t looked at her. Softly she asked, ‘Can’t you tell me where to find him? I really need to talk to him. Please?’

‘Sorry, Mrs, I don’t know him.’

‘Does he live near here? At least tell me in which direction to look. I don’t wish him any harm. I just need to see him.’

Lowering his head, the young man said, ‘I didn’t tell you, all right? But if you watch at the school gates when the children leave you
might see him.’ Paying for the food which she didn’t stop to eat, she thanked him and left.

After buying a couple of currant buns to compensate for missing their lunch, she played with Sadie for a while then found the school. She stood in sight of the gates and prepared to wait. Thankfully, Sadie had fallen asleep.

Her heart was racing as mothers began to arrive, some with pushchairs, some rattling car keys, some loaded with cheerfully patterned bags of Christmas shopping. Of Rhys there was no sign. She moved further along the road and stood once again watching the arrivals. Then the doors opened and the children ran out, searching the group at the gate then running to hug their mothers. Then she saw Rhys.

She moved towards him, about to speak, words racing through her mind as she tried to decide on the best thing to say to him. Then a girl aged about seven approached him and he picked her up and hugged her before moving away from the diminishing crowd. Her mind in complete confusion, Sally followed him.

He didn’t go far, just walked around a corner and up some steps leading to the front of a neat terraced house. As he and the little girl reached the door it opened and a smartly dressed woman came out, smiled at Rhys and kissed him on the cheek. Sally could hear them laughing as she stood, undecided, a few houses away. Then Rhys went inside.

She continued to stand watching the door, wondering whether to knock or walk away. If she did knock, what could she say to him? She gasped as the door reopened and he came out and ran lightly down the steps, turning to wave as he reached the pavement. She remained frozen to the ground wondering which way he would turn. He was whistling as he turned towards her and he was staring down at a piece of paper in his hand. She said, ‘Hello, Rhys.’

‘Sally!’

‘You haven’t forgotten my name. That’s nice. And your daughter? D’you remember her?’

‘This isn’t what you think.’

‘You mean this isn’t you living with someone else, meeting their daughter from school? That is a shopping list in your hand, isn’t it? Very domestic, meeting the daughter, shopping for your evening meal.’ 

‘It isn’t like that. I can explain, but not yet. Please, Sally, you’ve been so patient, just a few more weeks and I’ll tell you everything.’

She shook her head. ‘You’ve just run out of time.’ She turned and hurried away, pride and anger preventing tears, and went back to where Amy had arranged to meet her and take her home.

When Amy asked if she had learned anything, she replied, ‘Yes. I’ve learnt that it’s time to restart my life. That’s a good lesson to learn, don’t you think?’

The mystery of what Rhys had been doing all this time deepened, but later that day another mystery was cleared up. She went to the post office. Walter was standing nearby and he called to her, ‘I hear you didn’t think much of my wallpapering, then,’ he said.

‘What d’you mean? Your wallpapering? You can’t mean the work in Greenways, David Gorse did that.’

‘No, it was me. Paid me to do it he did. Trouble is, my back isn’t up to it. I couldn’t get it finished in time.’

‘Just as well. There was enough of a mess to put right as it was!’

A bad back was just an excuse for laziness. Someone had once told her that a lazy man is the worst. Even a drunkard would work even if only for his drink. The thought brought her thoughts back to Rhys. What was he if not lazy? There was no evidence of him doing anything for all the months he’d been away.

Christmas came and went and at least Sadie enjoyed the thrills and even Sally got caught up in the excitement. It had been Valmai who carefully asked her if she realized it was the day before Christmas Eve and asked if she’d done anything towards Sadie’s stocking. The misery of finding out about Rhys’s dishonesty had left her in a daze into which Christmas hadn’t entered. All the plans and excitements were for other people, not for her and Sadie.

The memory of her second child wouldn’t leave her at this time, the loss of Samuel overlaying every happy thought. She hadn’t the right to enjoy the family celebration. Then she watched her daughter’s face as she stood near the school children singing carols near the shops and with a shock reminded herself that Sadie was the important one. Sadie was her wonderful daughter, the most precious gift. She was alive and deserved all she could give her. Samuel would remain in her heart as a sad and beautiful memory.

Leaving Sadie with the kindly Mrs Glover, she had dashed into
town and bought a few toys and colouring pencils as well as
wrapping
paper and gifts for Valmai and Gwilym.

Next year she’d do better. She and Sadie would have a proper home and they’d prepare properly and have the very best Christmas ever. She firmly built a picture of the two of them, just Sadie and herself sitting beside a tree very like the one in their room, but
properly
decorated with a fairy, some coloured lights and lots of glitter. They didn’t need anyone else. ‘Just you and me,’ she whispered to her sleeping child. ‘That’s all I want. No one else.’

SALLY HADN’T TOLD
Valmai and Gwilym about her visit to Bristol and seeing Rhys with the woman and the child. She was hurt and humiliated and needed time to nurse her wounded pride before revealing the truth to them. Partly it was her own realization that she had been foolish to just walk away. She should have sat on the steps and waited until he returned then demanded an explanation.

She also realized she had been foolish by not making a note of the address. It was as though she had been searching for an excuse to go there again, and, without telling anyone, not even Amy, she went by train to Bristol.

She dressed with care, choosing Sadie’s newest clothes, and set off with the pushchair and all that was necessary for the day, determined to stay until she had faced Rhys, and the woman he was obviously living with, and learn the truth.

There was no reply to her knock on the door and after waiting a few minutes she asked a neighbour if she knew where they could be found.

‘They’ve gone away. A little holiday I believe.’

‘All of them? The man as well as the woman and the little girl?’

‘Yes. Little Erica was so excited at going to stay with her
grandmother
.’

There was no point in staying. Dejectedly she walked away and after a snack in a café near the railway station, they went home. Now she had to tell Valmai and Gwilym what she had learned. She would leave any further contact to them. Rhys was no longer anything to do with her or Sadie.

She hesitated about talking to Rhys’s parents. She kept putting it
off and when she had finally made up her mind to face them with it, Amy asked if she would like to go to Cardiff sales to buy bedding and towels for the new home, and she gladly accepted the reprieve.

They had a successful spending spree and Sally managed to forget for a while the pain of losing Rhys and enjoy the atmosphere of busy shoppers searching for bargains.

She said very little on the way home. Amy asked a few questions but quickly realized that her companion was not in the mood to discuss what had so obviously upset her. Instead she talked to the little girl, pointing out things she thought might interest her but after a while Sadie fell asleep and the journey continued in silence. ‘Would you like to stop and have a cup of tea?’ Sally asked eventually, aware of her rudeness in ignoring Amy, who had so kindly given her a lift. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet but I have a lot to think about. That’s no excuse for my rudeness though. A cup of tea and I’ll tell you a little of what has happened.’

Smiling, Amy shook her head. ‘There’s no need for any
explanations
, but if you want to talk, can we talk about my wedding dress? It’s beautiful but I think the train might be a bit too much for little hands to manage.’

They stopped in a small village where a row of shops boasted a café that advertised homemade scones. Sally carried Sadie and Amy went to find a table. Amy pulled a face when they saw the place was filled with men, whom she guessed were delivery men from their clothes and overalls. The tables were covered with plastic cloths and the steamy atmosphere didn’t auger well for a tasty snack. But Sally was already sitting down and she reluctantly followed.

In her loud, imperious voice she asked for scones and tea and a drink for Sadie. A huge red-haired man dressed in overalls with a clean, open-necked shirt showing at his beefy neck, scraped back his chair and stood up. Sally stared in alarm. Then the man smiled, showing perfect white teeth and said, ‘I’m afraid you have to go to the counter to order and pay, miss.’

‘What? How ridiculous!’

‘Tell me what you want and I’ll ask them, shall I?’

‘Thank you.’ He went to whisper something to the woman behind the counter, who came, with an amused look in her eyes, took her order then held out her hand for the money. 

The scones were very good and there was a generous amount of jam and cream. Sadie ate all of hers with Amy’s help and, when they stood to leave, to Sally’s surprise Amy went to the counter and thanked the woman for a delicious snack. She also thanked the man who had helped her to order.

Amy was laughing as they went back to the car. ‘Shout loud enough and someone will help, even if it’s simply to shut you up,’ she said as she unlocked the car.

Sally’s mood was lifted by the brief incident and she chattered to Amy for the rest of the journey while Sadie slept. They were almost home when the car began to make strange sounds. It spluttered, moved, slowed down and finally stopped.

‘I can’t believe this,’ Amy gasped. ‘I’m out of petrol! How can that be? I always fill up each month and I rarely need to bother between times.’ She looked up and down the road. ‘No phone box, of course. Typical!’

A lorry rumbled into view on the same side of the road and, seeing Amy standing beside her car, he stopped. ‘Blimey, miss, you do seem to find trouble, don’t you?’ It was the red-haired giant from the café.

He parked his vehicle and strode over. After discussing the problem he said, ‘There’s a garage not far ahead. Stay here and I’ll take a can and bring some petrol back.’ He reached into the cab and brought out a two-gallon can and, waving it, he strode off and was soon out of sight.

Sally slid the sleeping child on to the back seat and stood outside with Amy. They heard a car approaching and stepped back between the lorry and the car. The car driver slowed and seemed about to stop and offer help but then he put his foot down, the tyres squealing as he drove quickly away.

‘Did you see who that was?’ Amy asked.

‘I thought it was David Gorse, but it couldn’t have been him. He doesn’t have a car.’

‘I didn’t see the driver but I’m sure the car belongs to the
hairdresser
. Christine, she calls herself although her name is Margaret. How very odd.’

‘Perhaps we were both wrong,’ Sally replied doubtfully.

‘I’m sure about the car – it has a stupid curtain in the side window. Dangerous. According to Rick, anything that impedes the driver’s
view is a silly idea. I don’t go to her of course. My hairdresser is Olivier’s, in Cardiff.’

‘Very expensive.’

‘If you settle for second best that’s what you always have!’ She looked at Sally thoughtfully. ‘Like cleaning floors when you could do something more interesting – and better paid.’

The lorry driver returned with the petrol for which Amy paid him, and a bar of chocolate, ‘For the little girl when she wakes,’ he said, handing the treat to Amy.

‘She isn’t mine!’ Amy protested, horrified, and Sally took the chocolate and thanked him.

It had been a tiring day and once Sadie was settled into bed, Sally sat for a long time wondering about Rhys and why he had failed her. She tried to think about her future which was all up to her; she was on her own and had to face it. Amy’s words about accepting second best wouldn’t leave her mind and at 1 a.m., when she was still sitting beside an electric fire in the silent house, she came to a decision.

Before Rhys and Sadie, she had lived in a smart flat in a pleasant area and had earned enough to live comfortably. Surely there was no reason why she couldn’t go back to what she did best? She had been a buyer of fashionable clothes and accessories for a chain of stores in South Wales and beyond. The job had taken her to many other towns as exhibitions and clothes shows had led her to find new and exciting additions to her ranges. Nothing had changed apart from her own attitude. She smiled then as she remembered another of Amy’s rules for life. Speak loudly and with confidence if you want to be noticed.

Wide awake, she reached for the newspaper and began thumbing down the vacancies column. There were very few vacancies in the fashion business apart from sales ladies and she knew that, as Amy had advised, she needed to avoid accepting second-rate choices and aim high. She was still buzzing with excitement an hour later but eventually slept. When the morning alarm woke her, her mind was filled with ideas.

Firstly she had to talk to Valmai and Gwilym. They were entitled to know what she had learned even though her news was disturbing. Leaving Sadie at the nursery, she went to a phone box to rearrange her calls and at eleven o’clock went to find Valmai. She was due
home after an early start so she waited. Gwilym was sitting in his usual place near the workbench, with his legs tucked out of sight.

‘I’ve seen Rhys,’ she said, as soon as Valmai arrived. ‘He appears to be living with a woman, and there’s a child, a girl about six or seven years old.’ The words had burst from her and now she stopped and waited for their reaction.

‘Oh, no,’ Gwilym murmured.

‘I’m afraid it’s true.’

White faced, Valmai was staring at her as though she were a stranger. ‘Tell us exactly what happened. Where is he?’

‘In Bristol. I asked around at the café where letters were sent and was told he might be at the school. I saw him there, meeting a little girl. I followed him to a house and as he reached the front door it opened and a woman came out to greet him. She was smiling and they hugged and she kissed his cheek. He followed her inside and I stood there wondering what to do and he came out again, with the woman, who handed him a piece of paper which I presumed was a shopping list.’

‘Then you spoke to him?’

‘He was so shocked to see me. He spluttered in a confused way and promised to explain, said it wasn’t what it seemed, but I ran away. I couldn’t stand there in sight of the house he shared with someone else and listen to more lies.’

‘Tell us the address. I’ll go and find out exactly what’s going on.’

‘If you wish, but it’s no longer anything to do with me.’ She handed Valmai a note bearing the address. ‘I think the little girl’s called Erica but I don’t know the woman’s name. Mrs Rhys Martin perhaps?’ she added bitterly.

She walked with Valmai to where she worked but refused to discuss it further. Two years and more she had given him, years in which he had taken her money and lied about why he needed it. The request for more time was just more lies. It had to end here and now.

She worked particularly hard that day and the days that followed, using physical exhaustion to stop herself thinking about Rhys’s lies and her own gullibility. Instead she thought about how she could change her life around. There were still a couple of hundred pounds in her savings and that would be for a new flat and a new life. But first she had to convince an employer that she was still capable of
doing the job she had abandoned more than two years ago. That wouldn’t be easy.

Over the following weeks, between her various jobs and working on finishing the decorating at Greenways, she applied for several positions, giving details of her previous work and explaining that she had given up for a while to look after her daughter. She carefully said nothing about her non-marital status. Three weeks later, in early March, she had still not found anything suitable and it was almost time to leave Greenways. She’d had the offer of two jobs but not what she wanted and what she was trained to do so, remembering Amy’s words about accepting second best, she had decided to be strong and wait for the right one.

The decorating was finished and that meant there was little time left to find accommodation. Without a better paid job she would be moving into the awful boarding house where Eric lived. Surely she deserved a bit of luck? Then she met Amy again.

‘Only two weeks for your wedding, isn’t it?’ she called as Amy stopped her car and lowered the window to speak to her.

‘Yes, and everything is frantic. The house isn’t finished, and Rick and I have argued about stupid things and I wish we’d married last year like he wanted to. A quiet wedding, no fuss.’

‘I’ve just finished for the day. I have to meet Sadie then I’m making tea if you have time?’ Sally suggested.

‘You aren’t still cleaning, are you?’

‘I have tried to find something better but no luck I’m afraid. The trouble is I’ll have to leave Greenways soon. The work there is almost finished.’

‘Jump in. We’ll meet Sadie then you can make me that cup of tea. I think we both need one.’

She stopped at the bakers and came back with a box of cream cakes, then they collected an excited Sadie with her arms full of the paintings she had done that day, and went back to Greenways.

While the kettle boiled Amy looked around the house, admiring the neat and clean rooms. ‘I’m impressed,’ she said. ‘The place is transformed.’

‘It’s been hard but I’m very pleased with the result. It’s earned me money and kept a roof over our heads.’

‘But now it’s time to move on.’ 

Sally shrugged. ‘But where? And how? I have to consider Sadie in everything I do. She has to be happy and safe.’

‘Will Rhys’s parents help?’

‘Gladly, but I don’t want them to be involved. I have to keep away from Rhys and that means his parents too. I will let them see her as often as they want – she is their granddaughter, after all – but only when I’m sure Rhys won’t be around.’

‘Did you try to find work in the fashion industry?’

‘I applied for several positions but I didn’t get through the
interview
.’

‘What did you wear?’

‘A suit I bought two years ago. Expensive, but not at its best.’

‘Your clothes are probably a mess. Out of date, well worn, shoes and tights not matching – you have to look the part, Sally, and if that means spending some money then that’s what you have to do. Speculate to accumulate.’

‘I need all the money I have left to get us a home.’

‘Splash out and look the part of a successful fashion expert. I’ll come with you and help you choose some decent clothes. After all, I’ve always been able to afford the best, as you could once.’

‘Until the Rhys era!’

The following day Amy was waiting for her, bobbing with
excitement
when she went to meet Sadie. They drove home with Amy obviously bursting to tell her something. ‘I won’t tell you until you’ve made tea and sorted little Sadie out,’ she teased.

With Sadie settled with her midday snack and the three of them sitting down beside the electric fire – Sally too curious and impatient to start lighting the coals – Amy said, ‘You have an interview in ten days’ time!’