Facing Me (2 page)

This is the
funny thing about controlling the scene.  If, at any time, I think she is having
it too easy, I have the ability to distract her from what she’s focusing on.
 
Hey, I am all for presenting a challenge
.  Dropping to my
knees, I latch onto her clit with my lips, and suck hard.  Her hips jolt,
attempting to buck against my mouth.  Her moans are matched with Hunter’s,
as I graze her go button with my teeth.  I grab her thighs hard with my
hands, digging my fingers in as I feel her reaching for her release.  
Not
so fast honey. 
She’s soaking, which only makes me smile.  I
stand to my feet and walk over to the mini-fridge.

“What the fuck
man?” Hunter shouts when she whimpers. “Her moans were totally vibrating my
cock.  Get your face back in that pussy, Momma didn’t raise a quitter.”

“Chill the fuck
out.  You don’t want this over too quickly.  Everything isn’t about a
fuckin’ quick bang.”

Grabbing the ice
bucket, I slowly stroll back over to the table.  I run a cube along the
red marks on her ass.  She cries out around Hunter’s cock, arching toward
the ice for more.  Hunter's thrusts becoming harder, more frantic, but she
never falters.  His hands dive into her hair, pulling on the dark strands
as he shoots his load down her throat. “Damn, your mouth is like that fuckin’
vacuum on TV.  Never loses suction.”  Hunter walks over to the sofa
on shaky legs then sprawls across it. “I think she took a layer of skin with
her.  Holy shit, that was incredible.”

“Well, if you’re
done.” I tease, arching my pierced eyebrow at him, letting the bucket drop to
table with a loud thud.

“I’m far from
done, bitchboy.” He snaps, blowing out a breath. “Just need a little recovery
time.  She’s not goin’ anywhere right now anyway.”

Sliding my hand
down her hips, I run my fingertips along the backs of her thighs.
 Watching the goosebumps rise on her flesh with every teasingly feather
light touch. “Please.  Please.” She begs, making me smile wickedly at my
brother.

Grinding against
her again, I chuckle when she gasps. “Is this what you want?” I ask, teasingly.

“Fuck me!” She
screams.  Blood roars through my veins.  If Camaron had said
something like that I would have spanked her ass raw and give her orgasm after
orgasm until she begged me to stop.  
This isn’t Cam though, she left
you asshole.
 Shoving my jeans down my legs, I grab a condom out of my
bag. Tearing the foil with my teeth, I roll it up my cock and, without warning,
I slam into her pussy balls deep.

Rolling my hips,
I yank her back onto me, pulling the entire table with her.  My grunts
matched her cries of pleasure, as I picture Cam beneath me.  Cam’s tight pussy
wrapped around my dick, those sexy blue eyes watching me while I drive into her
again and again.  Not even that one night in New Orleans was enough, I
craved her more with every taste, every touch.  Surprising me on the tour
early, running up and wrapping those amazing legs around me.  The
beautiful innocence she possess, and her ability to push my limits just as much
as I pushed hers.  My cock swells as visions of Cam riding me in the
‘Burban the night she joined us on tour fill my head.  Always so skittish
about being caught, she shocked the hell out of me that night.  But the
best feeling in the world, was to watch her come alive.  The only night I
ever
gave control over to another person...the night I knew, without a doubt, I
began to fall in love with Camaron.

I couldn’t
control my cock around Cam.  Just the sight of her had me pounding fuckin’
nails.  The smell of her perfume would drive me crazy with lust.  If
she ever left, she would rub all over me leaving that shit on me.  That
scent alone would leave me in a constant state of crazed and horny; which
always lead to some interesting sex when she got back.  The pillow I use
still smells faintly of it: peach and cherry blossoms, she had said but I knew
it as
MINE.
 

The bitch tied
to the table is forgotten.  Instead, I picture her our last night
together.  Cam throwing her head back, crying out in pleasure,
haunting
me
, making me explode.  I collapse
against the chick as my orgasm rips through me. “Goddamn it!” I scream, pulling
out of her.  Turning to Hunter, I tell him to untie her and massage her
wrists and ankles. “Have some more fun man, but give her cab fare when she
leaves.  I’m goin’ to bed.” Then, turning my back on them and whatever
else they have planned, I leave the room.      

In the bathroom,
I turn the shower on to let the scalding hot water wash away what I’ve done.
 I haven’t touched a fuckin’ groupie in over six months.  It was
about Camaron for most of that time and now that bitch haunts me.  I can’t
shake her.  No matter what I do, she's always there.

I lean against
the tiles, arching into the water.  This battle that my head and heart are
having with my cock has gotta end.  Shaking my head, I grab the shampoo,
Cam didn’t want me enough to fight for us.  She got what she wanted from
me and walked.  I’ve haven’t heard from her since Tad attacked Daisy.

“Well, if this
is what you want baby, I guess I’ll be fuckin’ you outta my system.” I say to
the memory of the only woman who ever got my heart.  Camaron is the only
woman who will always have a piece of me even if no one ever knows.  No
way
I’ll
be telling anyone how badly I miss Cam
because Aiden Chesterfield is not weak. When you let them in, they just fucking
leave anyway.  Every woman I’ve ever loved always turned their back on me
and walked away when I needed her. 
That’s right, asshole; you turned
your back on her before she could hurt you, and you are miserable anyway.

  Strength
Blooms

  
*Camaron*

I have loved.
 I have lost.  I gave it all up.  Not strong enough to make the
leap because I feared giving myself over fully to anyone.  Being
vulnerable, emotionally, is something I cannot do.  

Submitting to
Aiden’s dominating ways, sexually, was the easy part.  Opening my heart to
him was what was hard.  He had it from day one, I think, just stole it
when I wasn’t looking.  It scared the shit out of me.  Who falls for
a guy at first sight?  Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Aiden consumed
me, and I burned alive in the heat.  I was his, still am.  Not one
man I’ve ever been with made me ache just for the touch he gave. Aiden knew
exactly what I needed.  It was like he knew my body better than I ever
did.  He could read me like a damn book, word for word and letter for
letter.  

I am petrified
of the spotlight; which is why we never could have worked.  Aiden is a
rock star and I’m just
the nobody
he was fucking.
 Groupies talked shit because my ass and tits weren’t plastic or because I
actually eat between blow jobs.  I started losing it, tearing into a bitch
over things she’d say about him or me.  Aiden reassured me that I didn’t
need to be jealous, but I couldn’t help it.  A bitch made a comment about
sharing Hunter and Aiden with me at a strip club and I nearly ripped her hair
out.  

That shit isn’t me.
 I’m passive, a damn wallflower.  Aiden Chesterfield brings out the
green eyed monster in me, which is why I had to leave.  I just couldn’t
compete.  There was no way I could give myself to someone who I knew would
leave me eventually.  Just as soon as a perfect, plastic piece of pussy
came along on her knees, ready to submit to him, he would have kicked me to the
curb.  Leaving him in Vegas was for my protection, survival.  Growing
up in foster care, you learned that rocking the boat was a no-no. 
If you
make scenes, they won’t want you, Cammie
.  So, I was quiet, and I
never learned to fight for anything in life.  No stability, no roots.
Moving and not getting comfortable with people or places was just a fact of
life.  

Until I realized
my heart didn’t beat when I didn’t have him.  Aiden brought me to life in
so many ways, but when I left him all that was gone.  I’d lay in bed,
begging for just one more moment with him.  Desperate to feel his skin
against mine or the sound of his voice commanding me, giving me the security I
always needed.  He was in control and took care of everything.  Aiden
is the only man I’ve ever submitted to, but it immediately felt right.

For the past few
months, I’ve settled here in Vegas.  Originally, my intention was to visit
‘
family
,’ as well as see Aiden again.  Only, the lead to my birth
mother didn’t pan out.  Chase went with me and has been supportive in
helping me pick up the pieces, since the fall out with Aiden and not finding
any trace of a relative.  Luke has taken me in as well; although, maybe a
little bit differently.  I get the sense he wants more from me than just
the friendship that has grown between us. 

Deciding that I
needed to keep my mind busy and since I had nowhere else to go, Chase set me up
to work for Luke.  When they learned of my business degree, he gladly
handed over his books for me to fix.  It’s not a normal job, as he doesn’t
have regular business hours, but it’s one that I can do and do well.  I
have a strong business sense for making things run efficiently and
profitably.  Keeping the weird hours of the shop has given me most days to
do whatever, although, Chase and Luke work to keep me busy then as well. 
I’ve really begun to build confidence in myself as I find my place here.  None
of this fills the void left by Aiden, but it definitely has helped me find my
strengths in the day to day.

The dynamic
between Luke and I shifts continually.  At first he was asking me out all
the time, but I couldn’t get Aiden out of my head or heart.  He went with
me to Minnesota, a trip which ended in a lot of tears and Aiden sending me away
for good.  I couldn’t fight for Aiden then. Hell, I don’t know if I could
even now.  Luke has been a source of comfort and security.  Some
days, I can tell he wants more than just the label of ‘friend’.  Right
now, I just don’t know what I have to give anyone.

Since Luke knows
everything, about my childhood and my relationship with Aiden, he doesn’t push
for labels between us anymore.  He simply turns the radio off when a Shaft
song plays and pushes me to do things for myself.  Lately, Luke and I go
to the gym, where he works out like a madman, in the mornings before the shop
opens.  He says it’s freeing.  I find my freedom in running.
 Fitting isn’t it?  I run on the treadmill until Luke taps my
shoulder, reminding me not to overdo it.  

Project 'Rebuild
Camaron Allen' is a slow go.  Working again is building my confidence, and
standing on my own feet. For the first time in my life, I feel great.
 Plus, I have great friends.  Chase and Luke forbid me to sink back
into the hole I was in.  Daisy made me a list of all things.  Her and
her damn lists.  Now, I have a notebook page of 'fun shit' to do.  So
here I am doing number one,
'Ink yourself up bitch'.
...  Yeah
that's what it says.  

“Are you done
yet?” I ask when the gun stops buzzing.  Luke wipes excess ink from my
side and gives me a nod.  I have always wanted a tattoo, but nothing meant
enough to have there that I’d have to see forever.  Until Aiden.
 Luke wasn’t happy about my sketch, but it couldn’t have been more perfect
for me.  

Without a word,
Luke helps me to my feet toward the mirror.  I stare in awe, taking in my
sketch, now inked in detail along my ribs. The orange blossoms stretching from
my bra, down my ribs, nearly to my panty line.  The words ‘
For
The One To
Whom I Belong
’ scrawled in black script.
 Aiden will always own me; it’s strange since it is over between us, but
having it inked on me is calming.  It drives it home.  I belong to
Aiden.  The reminder doesn’t hurt, it brings closure.  Aiden opened
my heart to loving someone, trusting someone.  Things didn’t work out, but
a part of me will always belong to him.  The design took hours, but I welcomed
the burn.  The little bites of pain seemed fitting to associate with
Aiden.  Pain bringing such pleasure, just as he always did.  

“Now that it’s
done, can you tell me why orange blossoms?” Chase asks, walking in the room
with ointment and bandages.

“Orange blossoms
mean eternal love, I googled it when the words came to me.” I mutter, angling
in the mirror to see it from the back.  My eyes hitting Luke’s pained
expression in the mirror but he quickly masks it.  

Rolling his
chair closer, he applies the ointment then carefully bandages my side. “Can we
go fuckin’ eat now?  You broads would starve a man to death.”

Easing into my
shirt I glance at Luke, his eyes trained on my chest. Jeez, men! “What are you
hungry for Luke?” I ask.  His lips part, his tongue darting out, running
across his bottom lip.  His hazel eyes not moving off my tits until I
finish buttoning my shirt. “Luke!” I shout.  

Jerking up his
hooded eyes, he smirks at me. “Chicken?  I’m suddenly hungry for a juicy
breast.” He murmurs making me blush.

Chase slaps him
on the back of the head, “You’re such a pervert!”

His eyes snap to
her smugly, “And that Hunter dude is a perfect gentleman?  What was that
nickname again?” Luke asks, rubbing the stubble of his blonde goatee, feigning
concentration.

“They call him
Cunter, Luke.” I bite out in irritation and sadness as I not only
miss
Aiden, but everyone; even Hunter. “We all called him
Cunter.” Shaft became the closest thing to a family unit I’ve ever had, even if
only short lived.

Choking back the
emotion, I push by them and run down the hall to what is now my office.
 My thoughts are consumed by Aiden and my time with him.  My time on
tour and those months before were filled with so many memories.  My best
friend is on that bus, pregnant with a baby and I can’t even talk to her on the
phone without crying if I happen to hear Aiden’s voice.  I now screen my
calls, sending her texts saying that I can’t talk.  Giving her some vague,
bullshit excuse.  I just need more time.  Slowly, I feel like I’m putting
my life together without Aiden and, in time, I will be strong enough to hear
his voice, and maybe even face the reality of seeing him.

Of course, Daisy
is friends with Luke and Chase too; Luke has done ink for Gray.  She knows
what’s going on, I just can’t bring myself to say it out loud.  If I say
it, then it’s real.  Aiden and I are over.  Just thinking it makes me
shudder; soon I will find the strength to say it.   

Where does that
leave me?  Crying myself to sleep every night, unable to shake him from my
thoughts, that’s where.  I can still feel his caresses on my body, his
lips on mine, but he’s moving on; Daisy has so much as told me so.  I
have a chance to be happy.  Luke is an amazing man and he adores me…
 I just can’t let go...can’t move on.  Daisy has attempted her
violent shoves to put Aiden and I back together again.  Sadly, she’s
having a hard time accepting that it isn’t working.

“You okay
Cammie?” Luke asks, leaning against the door watching me.  Trying hard to
reassure him, I smile.  Reading me just as he always does, he spreads his
arms wide, and I burst into tears then run into his arms.  

Sitting on the
leather sofa against the wall, Luke carefully pulls me onto his lap, letting me
cry.  His hands slipping through my hair, soothing away my agony.
 The pain in my chest is unbearable.  How do you even look in the
mirror when the person looking back at you is responsible for shattering your
heart?  That’s right.  If I had insecurities and self-loathing issues
before, I’ve multiplied them times infinity.  I could move on and try to
be happy with someone else.  I should.  Instead, I spend my nights
yelling into the mirror.  Because it’s all my fault that I'm broken.
 I’m fuckin’ weak.  I couldn't keep him, but I can’t let him go.
 

When my tears
finally slow, Luke tips my chin so that our eyes meet.  His adorable hazel
to my tear stained blue. “Cammie, you have to quit punishing yourself.” I start
to speak but he covers my lips with his thumb.  My eyes flutter closed so
I don't meet his eyes anymore.  The way that Luke sees right into me,
crushes me.  His eyes cut through it all, he sees everything and it scares
me. "I care about you too much to let you destroy yourself like this
anymore.”

My eyes fly open
as I struggle free from his lap.  Grabbing my wrists, he pulls me back to
him but angles me so that I’m sitting on the sofa next to him. “Watching you
for months, baby, I’ve seen you broken like shattered glass.  I sat by
while you have slowly put yourself back together as best you could.  But,
you’re still not whole.  You deserve to shine, Cammie.”

Luke leans in,
running his nose along mine sending shivers down my spine.   Before I
can say a word, he presses his lips to mine, silencing me with a kiss.
 The warmth shock of the moment makes me tense against him, but I force
myself to relax.  Giving in to the moment, I move my mouth against his.
 I feel a pang in my chest because this isn't Aiden; but shove it back so
Luke doesn't recognize my struggle.  It isn’t him making me feel this way,
it’s all me.

Parting my lips,
I welcome his tongue into my mouth.  Luke groans in relief, pulling me
onto his lap so that he can deepen the kiss.  It’s not a powerful,
consuming kiss like Aiden and I would share.  It’s sweet and it gives just
as much as it takes.  His hands skimming down my sides, reminding me of my
newly bandaged tattoo.  The fact that I’m betraying my heart along with
the ink that isn’t even an hour old is too much, making me pull away to the
other end of the couch with a wince.
         

“I’m sorry
Cammie.” Catching his breath, Luke stands and shakes his head. “I just…” Is all
he gets out before he jumps up and leaves the room, slamming the door behind
him.

Burying my face
in my hands, the tears stream once again.  What the fuck am I doing?
 I can’t let Luke think that I could ever care about him like he deserves.
 I just don’t think I could ever be that girl for him...or anyone.  
You
could have been for Aiden…but you weren’t and he sent you away like everyone
else did.

The door flies
open, making me jump when it slams into the wall.  Luke stands there
staring at me, his chest heaving for breath.  His eyes wild, as he walks
over pulling me flush against him, my toes barely touching the floor. “Listen,
you don’t want to hear this from me, or anyone, for fuck’s sake but you’re
gonna listen.  Aiden’s gone, goddamn it.  He doesn’t want you.
 I saw the whole thing with my own fuckin’ eyes in Minnesota.  I’m
sorry you’re hurting, baby, I am.” He says gripping my arms. “But, I’m here
with you Cam.  Me!  I’m standing right here!!  Call me a selfish
prick but I fucking want you!  I could be the best fuckin’ thing that ever
happened to you if you would just open your damn eyes and let me.  If
you'd just let yourself be happy.  I can be what he can’t.  Your
rock.  Let me protect you, adore you, and treasure you, Cammie.  I
don’t live in that world that he does.  You won’t have to question shit
with me.  I just want you.  You.  Exactly.  As.  You.
 Are.”