Face Time (24 page)

I flip through the book and an ache grows in my gut. I want her so badly I may die if I don’t touch her or kiss her ever again. I stop on a photo of Laura on her bed, on all fours, her hair fallen across her face, lips parted, and blood starts to race through my body.

Back on the kitchen table, my iPhone buzzes twice with a text message so I run to it.

Cori Winslow

Whenever you’re done talking to Laura, can you come by?

Lee Park

I’m coming down in a minute.

I need some advice.

I throw on jeans, socks, and shoes and make it down to Cori and Chris’s apartment in less than five minutes. She opens the door and the living room is in chaos behind her, boxes everywhere, and two rolling suitcases stand ready. Evie is dancing to some children’s television show with a giant red and bumpy one-eyed monster singing about food.

“Lee, thanks for coming down so quickly. I didn’t expect you to be done with Laura for another hour.”

“The phone call ended unexpectedly. I think Laura tried to break up with me?” I ask a question because I’m not sure.

“What?” Cori exclaims and pulls me into the kitchen. “Tell me what happened. Everything.”

I explain all the details of what I can remember, her sad greeting, the way we joked about sex, and how she grew pale and distant before she told me not to come visit her. Cori nods through the whole explanation, her fingers either drumming on the countertop or playing with the cord on her loose yoga pants.

“You need to go to her, Lee. Now.” She grabs me by the arm and starts pushing me out of her apartment. “I don’t care what she said. She needs you. If you were there, she would tell you everything, I’m sure of it.”

“Really?” I stop and push her away from me for a second.

“Yes, I’m one hundred and fifty percent positive. I think she thinks you’re going to break up with her if you find out whatever’s bothering her, so she would rather push you away than tell you. But if you go to her, the situation will be different because physical presence changes everything. If she could look you in the eye, she’ll know you won’t dump her. Because you won’t, right?” Cori pokes me in the chest with her index finger, hard.

“Ow! Cori, it would have to be something truly devastating. But even if she had cancer or something, I would still want to be with her.” Cori is right. Laura can’t see me and doesn’t know how in love with her I am. I haven’t even told her yet. I can’t let this end without telling Laura how much I love her.

Cori smiles and shakes her head. “See, Lee? I knew from the moment you texted me her photo, she’s the right one for you. Don’t blow it now. Go home, pack your bag, and get to Incheon for the next flight out.”

She turns me and pushes me towards the door, but I stop myself in the hallway. “Wait! What’s going on here?” I turn and gesture at the bags.

“Lee,” she exclaims, jumping and throwing her arms around my neck, “I’m pregnant again. Chris and I have been trying for a year, and I’m finally fifteen weeks along.”

“That’s great, Cori.” I squeeze her back and let go. “Congratulations.”

“I’m taking Evie for a quick trip to Chicago to visit my parents and friends before I’m too big to fly again. We’ll be back in two weeks. I was going to ask you to apartment-sit for me while you were here but…” She smiles and squeezes my arm. “You’ll be gone too. Want me to ask Jim at the front desk to come in?”

“Yes,” I say, opening the door and slipping my shoes back on. “Give him my key and ask him to watch the place until I return.” I race to the elevator, checking flight times along the way. There’s a flight that leaves in three hours. I can just make it.

I tap on my phone to call Min-Yung, my assistant.

“Mr. Park! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you for another few days. What can I do for you?”

“Book me first class on the flight from Incheon to JFK leaving in three hours. I’m heading to New York early and won’t be in the office.”

A moment of silence stretches on the phone as the elevator rises to my floor and I fear the call has dropped.

“Okay, Mr. Park. I have you booked on the flight. Why are you leaving early?”

I sigh as I walk down the hall back to my apartment. “Personal business, Min-Yung, and…” I debate whether or not I should even say anything but, “please do not mention my whereabouts to anyone, especially Sandra. Sandra and I broke up two months ago. I don’t want her calling or texting me while I’m away.”

“Hmmm, Mr. Park. She calls here once a day. What would you like me to do?” She sounds skeptical, like there’s no way Sandra and I would ever break up.

“Please take a message and don’t tell her anything. All right?”

“Okay, Mr. Park.”

Sure, but for some reason I don’t think it’s going to be easy for Min-Yung not to gossip about me.
 

I end the call, open my apartment door, and head straight for my suitcase.

(>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)

The news doesn’t quit this Tuesday. My father calls as I’m standing in line at the gate to board my flight to JFK. I packed like a madman, got a cab, and made it to the airport in record time. Laura still hasn’t written me back. If everything goes well, I’ll be in New York by the late morning, and we can talk this out face to face.

“Verdict is in, and we won, Lee. The papers went crazy with baseball references. You owe me a bottle of Scotch.”

“That’s great news, Dad. You must be so happy.” I sip from my bottle of water and inch forward in line another two steps. Looking out the window, I watch a plane lift off and take flight into a sunny, blue sky. I hope the weather in New York is the same.
 

“Your mother is happy. I’m retired as of tomorrow. Farewell party at the office this evening, dinner out, and tomorrow I wake up a retiree.”

“What’s first on the list?”

“Reading the whole paper, not just the front page, local section, and financial news.” He laughs the barking laugh I’ve known since I was a kid. I haven’t heard it in a while.

“Sounds like a promising start.”

“When are you coming home, Lee? We’d like to see you.” Translation: your brother and I would like to see you. I sigh, but hold the phone away from my face so he can’t hear me.

“I was thinking mid-July when the weather in Seattle is better. I’m going to bring Laura as long as we’re still together.”

“Okay.”

“I’m on my way to New York right now to visit her.”

Looking down at my feet, I hug my arm across my chest and wait.

“Okay, Lee. I’ll do my best to prepare your mother. Maybe in July, you’ll want to stay in the city and show your girlfriend around. Has she ever been to Seattle?”

“No,” I say, surprised. This is the first time my father has suggested I stay in a hotel instead of staying at home. I got a hotel room for one night last time I was in Seattle so Sandra and I could have sex, but we didn’t even use it for more than an hour. “No, I don’t think she’s ever been there.”

“Then I think that would be best.”

“Okay.” Shit, I don’t know whether to be happy or sad about this. I’m being kicked out of the nest, but, hell, I’m thirty-five years old. I should have a nest of my own by now, a wife and kids. It would be nice to stay in a hotel with Laura instead of her staying in the city and me being out in the suburbs. That is, if this grand gesture of flying to New York after she told me not to call, text, or come to her works. “Sure, Dad. Not a problem.”
 

My phone buzzes next to my head, and I pull the phone away to find a text from Sandra.

Sandra Kwon

I had dinner with your mother last night and she tells me you’re dating some woman in New York. I hope you realize this means we’re over for good.

Oh my god, she does not get the hint.

“Dad, I’m really happy for you. You deserve this win, but I’ve gotta go. I’m boarding my plane.” I hand off my paper boarding pass to a flight attendant who scans it and waves me towards the gangway.

“Have a safe flight, Lee.”

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Sure. Call again soon.”

“Bye, Dad.”

I switch over to iMessages and decide it’s time to deal with Sandra instead of deleting her texts over and over.

Lee Park

We’ve been over for two months.

Done.

Fuck off, Sandra.

You contact me again and I’ll tell every last friend of ours in Seattle that you’re stalking me.

She starts to reply to my text but the bubble vanishes and my phone stays silent. Good. I think I finally got through to her. We’re over. We’re done. And I’m on my way to find out why the woman I love won’t talk to me.

I hope I can sleep on the plane.

“I can’t believe I broke up with Lee! Why would I do such a thing?” I wail into my hands at Theresa’s apartment. After I puked my guts out and cried in bed for an hour, I cleaned myself up, called Theresa, and ended up on her couch. Mike is in the kitchen pouring me a glass of seltzer.

“I don’t think you broke up with him, Laura. You freaked out on him and hung up the phone.” Theresa’s hand is warm and comforting on my back, rubbing in circles. Mike appears in front of me, a glass of bubbling water in hand, and I take it gratefully. He yawns, his wavy, unruly hair standing straight out from his head. He just got off a shift at the restaurant, and I invaded his home.

“I’m going to get ready for bed since this is girl stuff.”

Theresa smirks at him, and he shuffles off to their bedroom.

“Laura, it’ll be okay. Why didn’t you tell him? I think he would have understood.”

“I wanted to see him so badly,” I moan, clutching my hand to my aching chest. My heart is hollow. “But I couldn’t bear the thought of him coming all the way here, telling him, and having him turn around and leave. I remember the way Rene turned on me and left, and I couldn’t do it. I just… I saw my life from someone else’s perspective for once and thought about what a complete fuck up I am. I can’t do anything right.”

“That’s not true,” she says, squeezing my shoulders. “You are the most independent, kind, thoughtful, funny, adventurous person I know. When things were bad for you, you were always smart enough to trust the right people and get back up again. Most people in your situation would have died, you know that?”

I shake my head. “I got myself into that situation. It hardly seems noble I got myself back out again.”

Theresa’s eyes widen, her mouth dropping open. “Are you kidding me? Your family should have helped you, stood by you, but they abandoned you.”

I shrug my shoulders at her. “I couldn’t expect them to do much for me.”

“That’s bullshit, Laura. You should never have gone to New Orleans. I worried about you for five years. Five years of silence, Laura, and every time I went to church, I prayed you weren’t dead.” I avert my gaze from her watery green eyes. I had no access to a phone or computer for years, yet I still feel guilty for not staying in touch. “Your mother and father should have taken you in and cared for you. Look, I’ve never judged them or you, but that whole situation is the stuff of nightmares. If I ever do that to my own children, may God strike me down. It’s one thing to expect your kids to be independent and it’s another to leave them to die.”

A fresh wave of tears falls from my eyes. I did almost die and there was no one to help me but myself. Theresa passes me a box of tissues. I never looked at my life from Theresa’s perspective, but, unfortunately, it’s as bad as my own view. I’m just less at fault. Still, it’s all completely fucked up.

“You…” She pokes me in the arm with her index finger. “…are brave, Laura. You went into this relationship with Lee knowing full well you may not see him for some time. Yet, you still did it because you followed your heart. Most people would have moved on. Not you. And Lee is the right kind of guy for you, I know it. What did he text you after you freaked out on him?”

I take a moment to absorb what Theresa has said about me while I wipe my face. I don’t feel brave right now. I’m a coward for running away from Lee. I pick up my phone and look at his messages.
“Please talk to me. I promise I’ll listen. Laura, I’ve missed you so much. Just text me back when you’re ready to talk.”
I show the phone to Theresa and she nods.

“See? Most asshole guys would have said something like, ‘What the fuck is your problem?’ or whatever. He’s concerned about you. Text him back. Now.” She points to my phone and stares me down, hard. Eek. I can do nothing but obey. Her kindergarten students must all be scared to defy her.

Laura Merchant

I’m sorry I freaked out on you, Lee. I hope you’ll talk to me again.

I hit send and the bubble hangs on the screen. I stare at the progress bar but nothing happens. After several gulps of seltzer, I check my phone again and the text is green indicating it sent as a text message instead of an iMessage. This has happened only twice in the past month Lee and I have been dating. He never turns off his phone because he has clients all over the world and he wants to be available for them or his family. But when he travels, he can’t always be reached. What does this mean? Did I freak him out enough for him to go back to work? He said his next client trip was to Tokyo, but he pushed it back so he could come see me.
“Don’t come. Don’t call me. Get on with your life,”
rings through my head. I was so final about it. Maybe he took me at my word?

“It sent as a text message. I have no idea why.” I throw the phone onto the couch behind me and sit forward to cry again. “What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m tired, broken, and I have major trust issues. Lee could see through all of that. He’s probably already moved on.”

“This is nonsense.” Theresa stands up, slowly straightening her legs and leaning back as her belly comes up first. Damn, she’s big. She’s due in four weeks now. “It’s past ten o’clock.” She grabs a blanket from the chair across from us. “Sleep here on the couch, and when you wake up tomorrow morning, I want you to go home, pack a bag, and get on a flight to Seoul. Your fucking waste of a mother is gone. God, you know, I always thought she was selfish for the way she turned into herself and ignored you for years, but I was willing to give her a break because of the nervous breakdown. Now I honestly think she faked it, faked it all, to get attention from your dad and from you. Bet she’s a narcissist.”