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Authors: Melody Carlson

BOOK: Face the Music
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Friday, April 29

“I hear you kids are all going to the prom together,” Jeremy said to me after the concert tonight. The two of us were already starting to pack things up offstage. As usual, the rest of them were still out there gabbing with the fans.

Something about the way he said “kids” kind of aggravated me, like he saw us as a bunch of toddlers playing in the sandbox together. As a result, I felt seriously irked. But then I reminded myself that Love doesn’t react like that.

“Yeah,” I said calmly. “Isaiah really wanted to go to a prom, and Allie and Laura talked me into it.”

“Sounds like fun.” He smiled as he snapped his guitar case closed. “I still remember my prom.”

“You went to the prom?” I said, instantly feeling stupid and false since I already knew this bit of information. What a hypocrite I can be sometimes. Still, I wanted to hear his version—and hopefully he’d mention the mysterious girlfriend as well.

He nodded. “Yep. It was about five years ago as I recall. I think we’d just signed our first recording contract.”

“But you still had time to go to prom?” I wanted to keep him talking, extracting as much information as possible.

“I probably wouldn’t have gone, but I’d promised my girlfriend before we’d signed the contract. And even though it was inconvenient, I wanted to be true to my word.”

“Girlfriend?” I said in a teasing tone, instantly regretting this too. What was wrong with me?

He laughed. “Yeah, even we famous rock stars are allowed to have girlfriends.”

“So, are you still going with her?” I diverted my eyes from his as I pretended to focus on stacking some sheets of music.

“Yeah, but it’s kind of tricky.”

“Tricky?”

“You know, dating someone while you’re almost constantly on tour. It’s not the best for maintaining a good relationship.”

“What’s she like?” I asked, no longer concerned that I probably appeared overly interested as I shamelessly attempted to pry out all the varied details of his personal life. By then I was telling myself, “Hey, he thinks of me as the kid sister here.” And “These are just the kind of questions I would ask Josh about him and Caitlin.”

“She’s a very sweet Christian girl,” he told me. “She’s about to graduate from Bible school with her teaching degree. She really loves kids and wants to get a job in an inner city.”

“That’s cool.” By now the others were starting to trickle in, and I no longer had any desire for Jeremy to go on about his love life.

“Hey, Chloe,” Isaiah said with a friendly smile. “Am I supposed to wear a tux to the prom or not? Laura says yea, but Allie says nay. What says ye?”

I shrugged. “I guess I don’t really know.”

“Is this about the tux again?” Allie said as she came backstage. “Brett and I plan to go casual—”

“But it’s a prom,” Laura insisted as she and Willy joined us. “You’re supposed to get dressed up.”

And so it went. Finally Allie and I won by majority and pure stubbornness, and it was decided that our foursome was definitely going casual. Retro even. “But you can dress however you like,” said Allie nonchalantly.

“And hey, if you don’t want to be seen with us—”

“No, it’s okay,” Laura said in a sober tone. “Maybe my mom can return the dress since it’s never been worn.”

I had to control myself from cheering out loud about this. Now, I don’t mean to be disrespectful of Mrs. Mitchell, but sometimes it seems as though she’s a little too controlling of Laura’s life. On the other hand, I guess it’s understandable after the way things have gone with Laura’s older sister, Christine. Still, parents should know that they can’t really control their kids. Shouldn’t they? Man, I sure don’t look forward to ever becoming a parent. I think I’ll probably wait until I’m about forty before having any kids. And be married first, of course. It’s just as well since I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon.

Anyway, to finish up the what-to-wear-to-the-prom dilemma, Allie came up with a brilliant solution, which we’re all hoping will work out.

“Why don’t we hire our personal designer?” she said suddenly. “She could coordinate all our outfits.”

“You guys have a personal designer?” said Michael, obviously impressed with our little ragtag band.

“Not exactly.” I didn’t want to put on false airs.

“Yes, we do,” insisted Allie. “Her name is Beanie Jacobs, and she’s going to work out of New York and be very famous someday.”

“Cool,” said Brett. “You girls always look so together. I guess I just assumed you did it all yourselves.”

“Does your designer friend do guys too?” asked Isaiah hopefully.

“We can ask,” offered Laura.

“I’ll e-mail her tonight,” said Allie.

And so we’re all hoping that Beanie won’t be too busy to help us out.

YOUR DESIGN
perfectly, You plan my day
seamlessly, You weave the way
You go before me and behind
creating wonders that i find
You always know what is the best
when to run and when to rest
i am Yours and You are mine
sewn together by design
cm

Five
Saturday, April 30

Beanie e-mailed Allie right back, offering to coordinate outfits for all six of us. Now all we have to do is get the guys’ measurements sent off to her, and she’ll meet up with us the day of the prom to hand off our outfits. We didn’t give her much time, but she’s certain she can pull it off anyway.

“Beanie says that she’ll have to take photos of us,” said Allie, reading aloud from her e-mail. “It says here, ‘I need to get a lot of shots of the six of you together so I can use these as well as sketches for my final project in my textile design class. So if you all agree to that, I’d love to do this. And if you don’t mind, I’d like to do a retro fifties thing. Let me know. Love, Beanie.’”

“That’s great,” said Laura.

“Really?” I asked. “You’re okay with this?”

“Yeah. My mom might actually like that it’s fifties retro. She’s always saying that’s one of her favorite eras for clothes.”

“But your mom’s not that old.”

“I know. She just likes it.”

So it’s settled. But to be honest, I’m not that
thrilled about this whole fifties thing and am frankly surprised that someone as cool as Beanie would even suggest it. I can’t really see myself in a pastel-colored dress with a tight waist and full skirt, not to mention those spiky high heels. I mean, my spiky hair is one thing, but shoes? Give me a break.

Well, at least the guys seem to like it, or so Allie informed us after e-mailing Brett with the news. I think they’re just relieved that someone else is handling the clothes issue for them. Allie said they refused to give her their measurements, but e-mailed them directly to Beanie instead. Allie suggested we might bribe her for this information. Yeah, sure! Anyway, I suppose I’m actually getting into this whole prom thing after all. And in a way, I guess I’m getting into Isaiah too. I mean he’s not Jeremy, but he’s not exactly chopped liver either!

Naturally, Allie (the love cupid) is trying to make more of this than it really is. Exactly what I was afraid of in the first place. Since she’s madly in love with Brett it only makes sense to her that I should fall head over heels for Isaiah. But today I had to tell her to lay off. Privately, of course. Even so, she got mad.

“Man, Chloe, what are you becoming anyway? The mind control police? First you’re on my case for saying that thing to Willy about his love life,
which by the way, I did apologize for and he told me was absolutely no biggie.”

“I didn’t tell you that so you’d apologize to him, Allie. I just thought maybe you’d be more sensitive to his dilemma.”


His
dilemma?” she shot right back at me. “For your information, he’s interested in MY mother.”

“I know.” Suddenly I wished I’d just kept my big mouth closed.

“And how do you think it makes me feel?”

I studied her. “I don’t know, Allie. How does it make you feel?”

She frowned. “To be honest, I’m not sure.”

I nodded. “But you like Willy, right?”

“Of course. I mean, he’s a little old, but I do think he’d make a totally cool dad. I even pretend that he is sometimes.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Mainly my mom.”

“Oh.”

“Every single time I’ve asked her about it, she gets kind of upset and just closes up.”

“Upset like she has absolutely no romantic interest in him and just wants you to shut up? Or upset like she likes him but it makes her uncomfortable to admit it?”

“I can’t tell. But it almost makes me think she might still have feelings for my dad.”

“But I thought he was remarried.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “Not really. They’re just ‘shacking up’ as my mom likes to say.”

“Even so, it sounds like your dad’s pretty involved with another woman.”

“It seems like that to me too. I just wish my mom would get the message and move on. I mean, I love my dad and everything, despite the fact that he’s been a total jerk to us, but I really wouldn’t want to see Mom go back to him even if his old lady—who’s actually only twenty-four-left him high and dry. I just think my mom would get hurt all over again. And I don’t think I could handle that.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“You know what I mean?” She frowned at me with obvious skepticism. “How’s that? Your parents seem pretty happily married to me.”

“Okay, maybe I don’t know exactly what you mean. But I can understand how it feels when someone you love is hurting over something. Whether you like it or not, you get involved, and before you know it, you’re hurting too.”

“Like how it was with your brother Caleb last winter?”

“Yeah, kind of like that. I mean I realize now that I can’t do anything to change things for him and that he won’t give up drugs until he’s ready. But I still love him so much that I wish I could do something—anything. But sometimes all we can
do is pray for them. Even so, it hurts.”

“Okay, I guess you do get it.” Allie smiled.

“Man, doesn’t it just make you wish everyone was a Christian so they wouldn’t mess up their lives so much?”

She nodded. “But Christians mess up too.”

“But not quite as badly as others. Or maybe it’s just that they go to God quicker to get fixed up.”

“Doesn’t it make you glad that we’re doing what we’re doing?” said Allie.

“Huh?” I guess I was spacing just then.

“You know, singing songs about God and telling everyone about Jesus, silly. It just might make a difference.”

“Yeah.” I had to laugh at myself. “You’re right. God can definitely make a difference.”

A DIFFERENCE
what’s the difference?
what does it matter?
what’s your defense?
what makes you shatter?
who really cares?
who gives a rip?
when someone shares
what made them slip?
what is the point?
what is the good
of rocking the joint?
just cuz we could
the difference is clear
between life and death
it’s fleeing from fear
and feeling God’s breath
it’s knowing you’re loved
and feeling God’s grace
it’s help from above
and seeing God’s face
cm

Monday, May 2

My mom e-mailed me today! Man, I was pretty stunned. But I was even more surprised when reading her words made me feel like crying. I don’t mean sad tears, no way. I felt like crying tears of real joy. This is what she wrote.

Hi. Chloe, your dad told me about your plans to attend the prom, and I wanted to write you personally and say how very special this is to me. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking that, as usual, “Mom is only thinking of herself again.” I’ll admit that I am a rather self-centered person and it would thoroughly delight this somewhat superficial mother to know that her
only daughter is going to her high school prom. But there’s something more.

As Dad has probably mentioned already, we’ve been going to church more regularly lately. This is all your fault, Chloe, because you and your music and your diligent commitment are making us think. Making me think. I guess your dad’s been thinking all along. Count on me to come in last again. Well, other than Caleb, I suppose. But that’s another story.

Suffice it to say, I am very, very proud of you, Chloe. And I am challenged by your life. And, yes, it’s true, I’m glad that you’re going to the prom. Is that all right for me to be happy about that? Mostly, I just wanted to say I love you, honey. You’re the best daughter a mother could hope for. And I’m so sorry I’ve been such a lousy mom.

Well, you can just imagine that I e-mailed her right back and assured her that she has NOT been a lousy mom at all. Oh sure, we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but the fact is, I was a pretty lousy daughter too. I was a totally mixed-up mess before I let Jesus come into my life and straighten me out. Anyway, I can’t wait to see Mom
again and give her a great big hug. Oh, God is good!!!

TRIPPING ON GOD
You are so awesome, God
the way You made me, designed my life
You are so amazing, God
amid the joy, amid the strife
You are my everything, God
You’re all i want and all i see
i go tripping on You, God
i love the way You live in me
You are totally cool, God
the way You let me live Your story
You are so fantastic, God
shine through me and show Your glory
amen

Six
Tuesday, May 3

Okay, this makes absolutely no sense. But this is the deal: I think my heart is grieving. It’s like I’ve been wearing this invisible cloak of sadness all week. I mean, I was okay about going to the prom, and I’m really happy about how things have gone with my mom. I even sent her a pretty cool Mother’s Day present. But underneath all that cheerful veneer is this layer of dark gloom.

I actually thought that no one had noticed until Laura and Allie cornered me back in the bedroom on the bus today. We’d already done our schoolwork and I was hanging back there, supposedly working on a new song, but really just moping around and feeling sorry for myself because of Jeremy.

“Okay,” Allie said as she flopped down on the bed next to me. “What gives?”

“Huh?”

“Come on,” Laura said as she sat on the other side of me. “Tell us what’s going on.”

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