Eyes on You (20 page)

I fumbled in my purse for my phone. My hand was still trembling, and as I stared at the screen, unsure what to do, the phone jerked back and forth.

“Actually, why don’t we grab a cab,” he said. “Considering how they’ve acted, they’ve probably already closed your account with the car service.”

Out on the sidewalk, I waited numbly as Richard stepped off the curb. My stomach had started to churn, and I gulped a few breaths in defense. A woman did a double-take at the sight of me.

After flagging down a taxi, Richard practically hoisted me inside. The stupid cab TV was playing, and I punched several times at the off square until it went silent.

“Robin, I know it’s hard, but you have to try to calm yourself. Let’s stop by my office, and we’ll figure out our next steps.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I need to go home. I feel ill.”

“All right.” He gave the driver my address and then directed his attention back to me. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to jump on the phone now. I have to find you a lawyer.”

“Aren’t
you
a lawyer?” I asked.

“I’m not the kind you need at present,” he said.

I turned my head and stared out the window, seeing only a blur of motion. Everything was gone now.
Everything
. Even if the full story didn’t leak out, people would assume I was guilty of
something
—of being a cokehead or embezzler. Someone had squealed about Carter and me. And someone, someone who knew me well, had blabbed about Janice, dragging that nightmare story into my job. The only people at work who knew were Ann, Maddy, and Carter.

My stomach was roiling, and I pushed my hand against my mouth, trying to fight the nausea. Next to me, Richard droned on the phone, but I could barely make out what he was saying.

As soon as we were in my apartment, I raced to the bathroom, ran a washcloth under icy water, and dabbed at my face with it. There had to be a way to
fix
this. Richard would help me, I told myself. So would Ann.

“Okay,” Richard said when I stepped back into the living room. “I’ve left messages for Steve Katz at his office and his cell. He’s an employment attorney—the best there is.”

“The main thing he’s going to have to do is convince Oliver to continue the investigation,” I said quickly. “And share information. Someone clearly sneaked into my office and did those searches. If I knew the times, it might provide a clue.”

Richard nodded and announced he was returning to his office, promising to be in touch when he heard from Katz.

“Is it true about you and Carter Brooks?” he asked at the door, his tone somber.

“Yes. But a lapse in judgment hardly makes me a psychopath. And my contract doesn’t actually forbid fraternizing with coworkers.”

“I know. But it gave Potts a clear advantage today.”

As soon as Richard was gone, I called Ann. I reached only her voice mail, so I left a message, saying it was beyond urgent.

For the next hour, I mostly roamed between rooms in my apartment. Two calls came in, one from my book publicist and one from Jake, my ex, but I ignored them. I left a message for Keiki, asking her to messenger over my belongings, and I sent an email to Tom on his Gmail account. Surely he’d be able to see the absurdity of the accusations and would be willing to urge Potts to look further.

There were moments when I felt flooded with determination and others when it seemed as if the floor were about to cave in, and any second I’d find myself gripping jagged edges of concrete. I couldn’t help but think about money. I’d been making a sweet salary for the past few months, but it wasn’t as if I had huge resources to fall back on.

My phone rang again. I felt a surge of relief when I saw that it was Ann.

“My God, Robin, what’s going on?” she asked.

“What have they told you?”

“For now, just that you’ve been let go. But Potts wants to meet in a few minutes about the press release.”

“They think
I’m
responsible, that I did all those horrible things to myself.”

“How could they possibly believe that?”

“Ann, you’ve got to talk sense into Potts,” I begged. “Help him realize the truth, please.”

“I’ll do whatever necessary, you know that. When can I see you?”

“Any time. I’ve nowhere in the world to go at the moment.”

“Why don’t I duck out early and come by your place around six? By then I will have heard more and can better assess the situation.”

“All right. What’s the release going to say?”

“He suggested announcing that you’ve resigned to pursue other interests, but I told him we absolutely had to clear it with you.”

“That makes it sound like I’m going into fucking drug rehab.”

“Stay strong. There’s surely a way out of this.”

“Wait—” I yelled out as she was about to sign off. “There’s something I need to ask you. You didn’t say anything to anyone about my stepmother, did you?”

“Of course not. How could you think that?”

“Sorry, I—I’ll see you later.”

Who had told Potts? Carter? Or had Maddy gossiped, and it had worked its way back to him?

At about five, the employment lawyer phoned, with Richard conferenced in to the call. I went through the entire situation with him. As I spoke, I kept waiting for him to break in, express his outrage on my behalf, but except for a few questions, he listened in maddening silence. I might as well have been describing a problem I had exchanging a pair of pants at Bloomingdale’s.

“So what’s the first step?” I said, having raced through all the salient facts.

“You need to get your hands on the so-called evidence,” he said. “That’s the only way you can begin to refute their charges.”

“But how do I do that?”

“One approach to is to sue in civil court for unjust termination. Since it’s a legal process, it would give you the opportunity to discover and learn all the evidence against you.”

“I have to
sue
them? Isn’t that horribly expensive?” What was I supposed to do? Launch a Kickstarter campaign for the cash?

“It is,” he said grimly. “And no lawyer will take it on a contingency basis. Another option is to commence an investigation of your own. But with no subpoena power or the power to compel testimony, it would be difficult. Coworkers will be reluctant to cooperate for fear of losing their jobs or their standing.”

“So then I
should
sue?” I asked, frustrated. “Is that what you’re saying?”

He sighed. “Not necessarily. Ms. Trainer, I’m going to be blunt here. Even if you wanted to spend the money, once you sue, the genie is out of the bottle, and it’s impossible to put it back in.”

“Wait, are you saying there’s no other recourse? That I should just suck it up and watch my career be crushed like a grape?”

There was only silence.

“
Hello
?”

“Yes, I’m here. Ms. Trainer, these situations are vey difficult. As unfair as it seems, it’s within their rights to fire you if they feel they have cause. Sometimes the best course of action, the best thing a good lawyer can advise, is to do
nothing
. Richard tells me that they plan to keep the reason for your termination under wraps. And offer compensation. That may actually be better for your career than having the situation explode into the open.”

“Who do you think would possibly hire me with a big fat cloud of suspicion over my head? The ratings have been great, so people will assume I was fired because I did something ghastly.”

“Robin, let’s take this one step at a time,” Richard interjected, though I had no freaking clue what he meant by that.

“Why don’t you give yourself a day or two to think it over,” Katz said. “We can speak again midweek.”

“Should I get another lawyer?” I asked Richard after Katz had signed off. “I can’t just stand by and let them roll over me.”

I heard him sigh. “Sit tight for now. Let me investigate the matter further.”

I tossed the phone down. I began to pace again, raking my hands through my hair. It was clear I was going to have to work from the inside, using Ann to help make my case.

I glanced at my watch. 5:33. I texted Ann and asked if she’d meet me in Central Park. I was feeling like a caged animal inside my apartment.

“Sure,” she wrote back. “Where?”

I suggested the entrance at Fifth Avenue and Seventy-ninth Street, just south of the Metropolitan Museum.

I stuffed my hair under a baseball cap, threw on a pair of sunglasses, and set out. Ann arrived at the spot two minutes after I did. We hugged tightly in greeting.

“Why don’t we walk a bit and find a more private place,” she suggested.

She had a point. The area was clogged with dog walkers, mommies, nannies, and kids. We headed into the park, uphill past a lawn strewn with Frisbee players and late-day sun worshippers. Farther west, along a shaded path by the turtle pond, we agreed wordlessly on an empty bench. Sitting down, I tugged the sunglasses from my face. “Have you heard the full story by now?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, her expression pained. “Potts filled me in.”

“Can you
believe
it? I feel like I’m in some absurdist play.”

“I want to talk to you about everything. First I need to know if you’re okay with me sending out the release, the one claiming you’re leaving to pursue other interests.”

I looked off, my mind a jumble. “I haven’t even had a chance to think about that yet.”

“I understand. If we don’t issue it quickly though, the rumor mill will be out of control.”

“Um, okay. I trust your judgment. But the rumors will be out of control no matter what the release says.”

She nodded and rested her hands in her lap. “Have you talked to anyone about what’s going on?” she asked.

“You mean in the press?”

“No, no, I know you’d never do that. I mean for advice, for guidance.”

“My agent. And a lawyer, which was next to useless. He says I could sue, but it might damage my career even more. He thinks I should just move on. I can’t do that, though. I can’t just let my career become some epic failure.”

“Have you talked to anyone else?”

“You mean another lawyer? I’m thinking about it.”

“I meant someone who’s more of a counselor, who could help you with all the stress you must be feeling right now.”

“It would be useless to wallow in my misery.”

“Robin, this is a lot to wrestle with. Especially with what you went through when you were younger.”

“I need to
do
something, Ann. And right now it seems my only course of action may be working on the inside with people like you, and maybe Tom, to help make my case. Tell me what Potts had to say.”

She glanced away, as if she found it too hard to look at me as she uttered the words. “It was what you told me earlier today. That he and Oliver believe you did all of those things yourself.”

“Ann, I need to make a confession before we discuss my situation any further.”

On my walk to the park, I’d made the decision to come clean to her about Carter. I couldn’t depend on Ann to help me if I weren’t honest with her.

“That’s what I’m here for,” she said softly.

“I had a brief fling with Carter over the past week or so. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t go there—and I know I assured you I wouldn’t—but I felt so distraught, I ended up turning to him. I’m sorry not to have been straight with you.”

She smiled wanly. “I know.”

“Are you furious at me?”

“No, of course not,” she said. “It was your choice, Robin. But you see, don’t you, how it’s added to this terrible mess?”

“You’re right,” I said ruefully. “I know what guys like Carter are all about, but I let myself feel a connection to him. I actually thought he cared.”

I looked off toward the pond. There were several boys standing on the large flat rock at the edge, tossing torn slices of bread to the turtles. I would have done anything to change places with them at that moment.

“Right now I have to focus on the bigger problem,” I said, turning back to Ann. “I can’t believe that meeting today, the way Potts wouldn’t even let me defend myself. They seemed caught up in the idea of me wanting to take down Vicky. I’d raised Vicky’s name with Oliver, but only after he pressured me about whether I had any reason to suspect anyone. It was as if they decided I was obsessed with the woman.”

“I think Carter might have said something to Potts about that,” Ann said. “That you kept focusing on her.”

Her words felt like a wrecking ball swinging into my chest. “I can’t believe he’d do that,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting true romance with Carter, but why would he undermine me like that?”

“My guess? It’s Carter covering his ass. Most likely Oliver questioned him, maybe Potts, too, and they must have let on that they were privy to your relationship with him. He’s smart enough to know they wouldn’t be happy about it, so he compensated by being super-cooperative, throwing them a bone about you.”

“That validated the view that I was gunning for Vicky.”

“It certainly helped.”

I covered my face with my hands, trying to summon strength.

“Can I ask you a question?” Ann said. Her voice was barely audible over the rustle of the tree leaves above us. “About the night we found the Barbie doll?”

“Of course,” I said. “Has something occurred to you?”

“There’s just one point I’ve wondered about . . . When I ran into you that evening, you were on your way out of the building. You had your tote bag with you. And then you remembered you needed to go back to your office.”

“Right,” I said. “I’d left a file back there, something I needed to review that night.” I wondered what she was leading to. Was she trying to figure out the timing for when my tormenter had left the doll?

“In hindsight, I realized you never
did
take a file with you,” she said.

I looked at her, puzzled, trying to grasp her point. “I was completely stressed and forgot it,” I said. “What are you suggesting? That I’d seen the Barbie already, but I lured you back to my office so you could get the full impact and recognize that I wasn’t paranoid?”

She didn’t respond.

“Is that what you think?”

“I didn’t say that, Robin. It was just something I always wondered about.”