Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2) (27 page)

The
Black Water began to swirl and ripple as colors passed over it, the sights from the Drak reflecting onto the water so that Ilyan could see them. Flashes of red began to move together before forming a tangible image of fire, of destruction.

“There is one among us
…”

The Drak spoke together, the
ir voices so precise it sounded like one loud voice. The power of it filled me. Even though I knew this was a memory, I could feel my own Drak blood calling to them.

“
…who seeks to change the magic. Someone who seeks to kill the magic.”

As the Drak spoke
, the fire in the vision was joined by the faint sounds of screaming, the image within the pillar changing to running feet, explosions, and above all, Edmund’s laugh.

“He seeks to kill the magic for his own personal gain. We see him as he fights, as he sheds the blood of us, as he sheds the blood of other
s. We see him as he stops the reign of magic, as he stops the time of ours.”

As the Drak spoke, more si
ghts of the early destruction caused by Edmund flashed through the water. The screams of children and families rang out around us as the flashes of misery continued. I cringed away from them all, I had seen enough of what Edmund was capable of in my own life.

“Is this now?” Ilyan asked, his voice raised above the constant noise that filled the chamber.

“The time is now, My Lord,” The Drak said together. “You alone will be brave enough to fight him. Where others will lose their lives, you will prevail.”

More sights flashed before us as the Drak continued to mumble. Ilyan and I looked
at the pillar as images of him fighting against unknown foes were replaced by his stripped body strung up on a tree as he was beaten, and then returning to a sight of Ilyan and his strength. I looked to Ilyan curiously, surprised to see his shoulders squared and jaw set, almost as if he was ready to plunge into battle at any moment.

Looking at him right then, I could understand why he always fought, why he relished battle. It wasn’t a thirst for blood as Edmund would have me believe. It was pure desire to help, to be good, to protect. It was
light.

“
In a time far ahead, near the end of the world…” Flashes of war after war, all raged by man, filled the pillar of Black Water. I ached at seeing all the destruction humans had waged in such a raw way.

“…in a time when everything is changing and everything is new…”

T
he water showed us visions of my time and I watched Ilyan’s eyes bug out of his head at the sights of high-rise buildings, cars, and the everyday modern life he was being shown.

“
…there will come a child.”

The same sight from my own vision flashed on the
water – that of my Mother being handed an infant, me. My heart beat rapidly as I began to put it all together.

“
A child, an infant, a child that we see. We see her when she’s born. We see her when she’s grown. We see her now, and we see her then.”

Visions of my childhood flashed through the water in quick succession, I recognized moments of triumph sprinkled through the many images of loss, pain, and anger that made up my childhood. Ilyan clutched his heart, his sadness at my life evident on his face. I had to look away as the
images continued, each heartbreaking memory hurting more. But then, they began to change. I was smiling more. I was laughing. And I knew why. Each of these sights were when I was with Ryland. Even though he was never shown, I knew without a doubt he was there. My spirits soared thinking about him as he used to be, before the pain of his insistence that I break the Zȇlství crushed my joy. I shook off the feeling, focusing on the smile that filled the water before it too began to fade.

“She is of
The Chosen. Marked by the sign of the creature of fire, she has smoke in her eyes.”

More visions, they flashed by quickly showing us snippets of when I received my mark, my eyes before and after, of how I tried to hide the mark over the
years. I reached up and covered my neck, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

“A
Chosen Child just for you.” Their voices ricocheted through my head as the pillar showed a sight of Ilyan and me. His arms were entwined around me, his body soft against mine, his lips pressed firmly against my own.

“No,” I gasped silently. My stomach turning at the sight I was seeing.
I had known from the beginning what was going to happen, but I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to accept what Cail and Ryland had said as truth.

The vision continued and I looked toward Ilyan, his hand extended longingly toward the passionate kiss we shared. I could see all the longing in his eyes
. He had waited so long. This wasn’t supposed to happen, it wouldn’t happen. And yet, I was pained for him.

“For in this child is power, power beyond belief.”

The sight of our kiss faded to
an image of me, strong magic flowing as I fought several Trpaslíks at the same time. I was shocked to see that I was winning.

“
She is the most powerful. She will be The Silnỳ, the one who protects us all.”

The sights continued, one after another
, of me fighting, my power prevailing. More often than not, Ilyan was by my side, his magic battling right beside me. The visions continued before ending with Ilyan defeating an unseen assailant, his arm wrapped around me securely. I recognized that one because it had already happened. It was from the night we fled the LaRues’ mansion, the night we failed to rescue Ryland.

“
Her life is nothing but misery, for everything she touches is ash and in her heart is only pain.”

More images of my childhood
. My heartbreak as my Father left. My pain as I was bullied through every year of school. My misery at finding my Mother dead, only to be thrown out of a window. I gasped as I saw my fall, the impact never shown, and the pain on my face heartbreaking.

“
Only you can help her and fill her heart with love.”

They spoke as more sights filed
through the water. I looked, expecting to see some startling way that Ilyan would make me love him, but all of these had happened. I felt my heart loosening toward him now as it had then. They showed Ilyan caring for me as I pined, holding me as I was minutes from death, tenderly making shoes for me, and holding me every night as I had cried. Seeing it from this angle, seeing his actions as I slept and screamed, changed my perspective. I saw the tears I never knew he shed over me, and the love he kept hidden.

“O
nly you can save her and keep her for her true purpose.”

A sight formed again
of Ilyan gently laying me on the bed in the attic, his finger running along my jaw as I fell asleep. Showing him then lean down to kiss me. A forbidden kiss, a kiss I never felt. I gasped as I saw the action. I was angry, angry that he had kissed me, and yet... and yet...

“
For you were born and you were bred only to protect her.”

More images of Ilyan and I
floated past, his arms always around me, his body protecting me from those who would hurt me. Some I had lived through and some I had yet to experience.

“
It is your future, Ilyan. Now is your time to see her. Then your place will be near her. It is your purpose to protect her. But beware, even as your heart longs for her, she will love another.”

My heart
clenched as the sight replayed my first kiss with Ryland, our magic exploding as Ryland sealed himself to me, completing the Zȇlství. This time it was not my turn for heartbreak. This time Ilyan reached longingly out, his voice calling out in disbelief. I could hear his heart break and it broke something inside of me too. I shook my head, basking in the memory of the kiss and not the trauma I was now facing.

“
Your heart will long for her, but she may not be yours to take.”

More sights, more visions of secret kisses, intimate moments when we sat with our arms around each other, as we laughed and joked. And finally
, when he tried to teach me to Salsa dance. I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. Even though I didn’t want to accept all that was being shown, I couldn’t keep out the joy that tried to seep its way into me.

“
You must find your strength to protect her, to be near her, for it is only by your side that she can find her true purpose, that she will find the strength to kill those that would end the magic of the world.”

The
images in the water changed again, this time to show Ilyan standing by me as I fought, his presence strong as he supported me from a distance. I could tell what was happening. I was using his magic. The knowledge of that rocked through me and my jaw dropped. There were only two ways that that could happen, through a bonding, or through the Štít. I clutched my hand to my shoulder. He had known.

I understood the look now, the look he gave me when he spoke of the
Štít for the first time. It was heartbreak. His heart had broken because he knew he could never have me and that the Štít was the only way he could be close to me. And then, when I could hold his magic, all of it, he knew that a bonding was possible, but also that it would never happen.

I had co
me to love Ilyan, maybe more than I could ever fully accept. I felt my soul rent with the realization of his pain and heartbreak. I longed to help him, to protect him, to make it okay. But I knew I couldn’t. I was bonded to Ryland. And Ryland had protected me too. Ryland loved me too. And even though Ryland’s protection may end by a severing of our bond, I didn’t know if I could ever move beyond that.

“
It is only when she is with you that she will be able to accomplish all that she must. And it is your place to protect her, until the day that she passes from this world and into the next."

“No.” Ilyan and I
said together at the sight of him holding my body, his arms wrapped tightly around me as he howled and cried in agony, explosions filling the space surrounding us.

“
This child is power.” Sain spoke alone, his voice loud and powerful. “Power that is strong enough for you.”

More flashes
of my ability raced across the pillar. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. I couldn’t comprehend that I could be so strong.

“
For you,” the Drak repeated together, “for you, for you.”

Their
voices reverberated eerily as image after image of Ilyan and I together filled the space. Sights of intimate kisses, intertwined bodies, beach houses, and children flashed one right after another. They came faster and faster until they were a blur. The blur continued for a moment before the water went black, the pillar falling into the pool again. I ran to it, gasping at the smooth surface and the reflection of myself that was now staring back at me.

“
You will love her,” Sain said with the deep deadpan voice of a sight. I looked up to him, unsurprised to see him standing, his eyes covered with blackness and lit only by the glowing embers the Black Water gave him.

“
But you cannot have her.” The Drak spoke as one, each of their eyes also covered. They stared out, unseeing, the glossy blackness calling to me.

“
You will protect her,” Sain said.

“
But you will fail,” the Drak continued, their voices coming in quick succession.

“
The one bred to change the world of magic,” Sain lifted his hands as if he was seeing something, but the hall stayed still.

“
The one bred to die.” I froze at the words of the Drak.

“What?” I
said aloud to the empty space, even though I knew no one could hear me.

“
She is the only one who will come to this world,” they continued together, “the only one your heart can hold.”

“The only one?” Ilyan asked, my insides tightening to hear how defeated he sounded.

“She is here,” Sain announced, his voice deep and reverent.

“Do you feel her?”
They all spoke together again, the addition of Sain’s voice doubling their intensity. “Do you see her?”

“I do.” Ilyan’s voice was right in my ear
. His arms came around from behind me and pulled me into his newly scarred chest.

Twenty-Five

I
froze at the contact so foreign and yet so welcome. My heart thumped in my chest at what I had heard. It screamed for Ryland. It screamed for me to run away from Ilyan. But even here, he comforted me.

Some
how I had crossed over from being inside of a memory to being a part of it.

Ilyan’s
arms tightened as he pressed his cheek softly against mine. I did not lean into his touch, but neither did I shy away. I stayed still, trying to make sense of everything that had happened, everything I had heard.

“Do not be afraid, mi
lasko.” I relaxed at Ilyan’s voice, so soft and familiar in my ear. “I know you have seen everything, and I know you are scared. But do not be. I can feel you inside of me; I can feel your soul inside of mine. Know that I am here to protect you, to save you, and to love you. Even if you will never love me, I will still be here, right by your side.”

H
e turned me in his arms, his hands pulling me gently around, his arms still holding me against him. I looked up to him, he was so different, and yet so much the same.

“You’re beautiful
.” He sighed the words like a prayer, his fingers coming up to trace the lines of my face.

He leaned down and
my heart froze, but instead of kissing me, he pressed his lips against the kiss on my neck, his lips soft and gentle.

The touch
of his lips against my mark sent a jolt through my whole body. I had only felt that electric response to Ryland before; it was the jolt that preceded bonding. He sighed as he felt it too, his heart rejoicing at feeling something he had been longing for.

M
y breathing accelerated into a panic. What did this mean?

“I love you
.” He said softly, his words true and honest. I could tell he meant what he said. But I didn’t shy away from it, not as much as I should have, and it scared me.

“No!” I yelled out in a panic
. My voice echoed around the great stone chamber as I pushed my hands against Ilyan’s chest, pushing myself out of the memory and into my usual chair in the cave.

It was obvious that a whole day had passed; the light from
the skylights in the ceiling was coming from an angle that suggested it was already night. Thom’s partially eaten lunch still lay on his couch, but neither Thom nor Dramin were anywhere to be seen. Even though I had done nothing but sit all day, I could feel the exhaustion of a full day seeping into my body, begging me to sleep.

I
exhaled deeply, my chest shaking a bit before I reluctantly looked toward where Ilyan lay. I was glad Thom and Dramin had left me to myself for the moment. Although I was worried about where they had gone to, and even about being alone, I knew I needed the time. Dramin must have known too. After all, he knew from the beginning all that was said, all that was seen.

Ilyan had know
n too.

Ilyan had known for eight hundred
years about me, he had known my face, known some semblance of a future. And yet, he said nothing. Even when I struggled and pined for Ryland, even as he trained me. He said nothing of the future he longed to have, the future he dreamed of with me. He never tried to talk me out of it. He never tried to place himself in a better position. He had let me do what I had longed for.

Suddenly, the look that Ilyan had th
e very first day I saw him – standing against the wall in English class – made sense, his intense gaze, his look of frightening awe. After eight hundred years of waiting, I was sitting right before him. I cannot imagine the heartbreak he must have felt, or how the knowledge that he could never have me must have eaten him up inside.

I stood
to face where he lay, still and calm on the bunk, his long hair falling gently over the side. I couldn’t decide if I was angry with him, agreed with him, or accepted what he had done. Everything lay numbly inside of me, as I stood staring at him.

My
Protector.

He was born to protect me, born with magic strong enough to do so, and yet
, too strong to give him companionship. And he bore it willingly, his actions showing his strength. Although he loved me, more than he could ever love any other, he held his tongue and let me follow my own path.

He was truly a better man tha
n I would have guessed. How could he ever worry that I would hate him? I shook my head before walking toward him, my steps slow and controlled. Thom’s words of his imminent awakening sounded in my head. Now was not a time I needed him to wake. Now, I needed to think. I needed to figure out what was going on.

I was born to defeat Edmund, born to usher in a new
age of magic. Ilyan was born to protect me and bring me to serve my true purpose, even if it ended with my death. An image of him from the pillar, his heartbreak as he held my dead body, entered my mind and I stopped a few steps away from him.

I clutched my hand to
my chest as the pressure in it built. I knew the second heartbreak was coming and I knew why.  I had fallen in love with Ilyan, but the love was wrong. It was a love and devotion in and of itself, but beyond that...

“I’m sorry, Ilyan,” I whispered to his sleeping body, my voice catching on my tears
, “but I can’t give you what you want.”

I turned and ran before I had finished speaking. My feet stumbl
ed as I tore across the large space in tears, only to lunge myself into my bunk. I covered myself with as many of the large furs as I could, hoping to dampen the sound I knew was coming before it escaped my lips.

I felt
my chest tightening as I fought against it, but I knew it was no use. The tears had reached a peak, and my body curled inwards as I screamed within the shelter of my blankets. I writhed with the overwhelming pain of my emotions, with heartbreak and with loss.

The sight had said that everything that I touched would turn to ash, and this seemed to be no
exception. I was in love with, and bonded to my best friend. A man who had been tortured by his Father for loving me, who may or may not remember me, whose very bond with me terrorized my waking and non-waking existence. Ryland meant the world to me, and yet he had begun to actively attempt to break our bond. Even thinking about his words, about his promise to sever the Zȇlství, sent more panic through me. I screamed again, desperate to get the emotions out of me.

Nothing about my bond with Ryland brought joy, and that in itself was painful for me. I longed for him, and yet
, I was scared of him.

I screamed in an attempt to release my fear
and my pain, shoving the blankets into my mouth as I did, hoping to muffle the sound.

The scream opened up a further chasm
in my heart. It rent open the feelings I had been hiding, even from myself. The feelings I now knew Ilyan shared.

Everything around me was crumbling again, the weight on my shoulders too much to
bear. Bred to die, born to fight, raised to be broken, and always the cause of pain for those I cared about most in the world.

I
howled as it all came crashing down on me. I could no longer do it on my own.

“Ilyan!” I called his name as I had
become accustomed to doing. I needed his strength, his song. I needed someone to tell me it was going to be okay. Feeling like this, he was the one my heart called to. I don’t know if it was because he was the only one that was left or because he was the only one I felt could truly help me. But he was my Protector, and right then, that was what I needed.

“Ilyan!” I wailed his name knowing he would not come. Knowing that even if he did, I could not give him what he truly wanted.

I wailed louder, his name mixing with my tears, my sobs becoming an uncontrollable monster inside my chest. It clenched, and clawed, and burrowed into me, increasing my howls and my pain.

Everything inside of me was breaking. It was not fair for me to feel so much pain
. Not when so much was already placed upon me.

I writhed my body in a foolish hope
of getting rid of the pain, but it did not help. I could find no comfort. The blankets of security I had placed around me had become a prison.

I had not even felt the covers lift until I felt long sinewy arms I knew all too well wrap around me, a strong chest
coming to rest against my back.

I turned in his arms, my tears changing from those of despair to some of hope. Ilyan laid right next to me,
his arms wrapped around me tightly, his magic flaring through me as he calmed me. I looked into his bright eyes, my heart beating much faster than it had ever done before.

He smiled slightly as he carefully moved my tangled hair out of my face.
His eyes never left mine. They had that look I had seen during the sight, a burning love that incapacitated me.

My tears had slowed to nothing as
I reached up, carefully placing my hand against his face. His skin was soft and smooth. I had never touched him this way before.

“You’re alright
,” I gasped out, the words almost washed away with my tears.

“I’m alright,” he affirmed
, his accent thicker than I had ever heard it. Ilyan pulled me to him, his lips pressing roughly against my forehead before he buried me into his chest. The scarred chest.

“I will never leave you,
Silnỳ.” His voice caught and I could tell he was crying too.

We stayed like that
, my tears falling over his chest, his in my hair, our joy at seeing one another again settling in.

Slowly I began to come back to myself, the rough scars
on his chest coming into my line of sight.

I reached up to trace the lines with my fingertips, my heart unsure about such close
and intimate contact. The white scars zigzagged over his chest, no longer as angry as the red they had originally been.

“I am sorry, Ilyan
, that the water hurt you.” I continued to trace the raised scars, the skin rough under my fingertips. He stiffened at my words.

“So they showed you then?” His voice was
taut and I could hear the fear behind it. I didn’t want him to be scared. I pushed my head against his chest, the wild thumping of his heart fluttering in my ear.

“Yes.”

His heart continued to pound as he hesitated, as he decided what to say to me.

“I am glad I have them, the scars. They have always been a reminder of what I may someday have.”

“I know
.” My voice was soft.

“
And... you are not mad at me?”

I hesitated
. I wasn’t sure how to phrase this, how to say what needed to be said. I pulled away from him, my eyes meeting his as he searched mine for any signs of what was to come. I reached up, my fingers hesitant to touch his face, to trace his features, before withdrawing again, leaving him untouched.

“I’
m not mad,” I said simply.

“But why
not?” I could understand his confusion, but there was something very important that I needed him to understand.

“Because I love you too, Ilyan
.” His face lit up at my words, but my heart only cinched tighter at what I was about to say. “But it doesn’t change anything. We can never be together.”