Eye of the Moon (28 page)

T
he four of us sat on the bank of the river in silence. The noise of battle had long since ceased. Behind us the desert had turned to shimmering gold in the evening light. Anoukhet and I each had thick bandages around our hands. We'd drunk the herbal mixture the old man, Kha, had brewed for us before he stitched our wounds closed with a horn needle. And we'd used the bee-sting ointment made
by him to reduce the swelling and pain, but still my hand throbbed.

Anoukhet squinted into the last rays of the sun. I could tell she was seething. She narrowed her eyes at Katep and Tuthmosis. “Are you
both
cowards? Why did you wait so long to kill the Egyptian captain, Katep, and why, Tuthmosis, have you given up your crown?”

Tuthmosis kept silent. Katep gave her a look. “I killed him in the end.”

“Only as he was about to bring his khopesh down on me. Why not before? You had the chance to kill him but you shot at his feet instead. Why? He was worse than a horned viper. He didn't deserve the chance to live.”

Katep shook his head. “When I pinned his feet, I wasn't giving
him
the chance to live. I was giving
you
and Kara the chance to live.”

“How so?”

“I couldn't risk killing him while the two of you were tied up. His soldiers would've slaughtered you. To rescue you we'd have had to kill everyone simultaneously.”

“So why didn't you? You said you had arrows aimed at all their hearts. Why didn't you carry out your threat and kill them all? Why did you wait?”

I saw Tuthmosis exchange glances with Katep. “I asked him not to.”

Anoukhet sat forward sharply and stared at him. “
Why?
This was a battle! These were People of the Bow who had their arrows trained on the soldiers of the Egyptian army who'd come south to vanquish them and capture
you
! This was your chance, Tuthmosis, to defeat Egypt with the whole Kush army behind you. Your chance to show Wosret your power. But you didn't take it.”

Tuthmosis scratched in the sand with the tip of a reed across the pathway of a shiny green metallic beetle.

“Why did you stop Katep from giving the command to kill them all?” She turned her blazing eyes on Katep. “And
why
did you listen to him?”

“Because Tuthmosis is the rightful king of Egypt.”

Anoukhet snorted. “It seems he has given all that up. Besides—he's not
your
king! You're Kushite now. You don't have to take orders from him. Least of all from someone who doesn't stand up for his rights!”

Tuthmosis glanced up. “I didn't
order
him. I
asked
him not to shoot.”

“But why?”

“For the same reason I gave up my throne.”

“Ha!” Anoukhet jumped up and looked down at him through narrow eyes. “Why did you give up so easily? You let the Kushites down. You let us
all
down!” She stamped her foot in the sand as if she wanted to rid herself of the thought. “Why? For what reason?”

Katep reached out and tried to pull her down next to him. “You're such a fighter.”

She snatched her arm away. “What's wrong with being a fighter?”

“There's nothing wrong with it. You fight to stay free and true to yourself. You're fiery and independent. It's what makes you strong! It's not always easy to stay true to yourself. I had to leave Thebes to stay true to myself.”

Anoukhet looked back at him with furious eyes. “You haven't stayed true to yourself, Katep! You let Tuthmosis overrule you with his princely ideas that have no meaning or place on a battlefield!”

“That's unfair, Anoukhet!” I was ready to do
battle to defend both Katep and Tuthmosis. I stared from one to the other as Anoukhet glared back at us. Around us the afternoon was filled with the sharp cry of waterfowl and the discordant croak of frogs.

I sat back and sighed. It felt as if all the air had been punched from my lungs. “What's wrong with us? How can the four of us be fighting? We've come through a fierce battle and we're alive. The Kushites proved themselves. They stood up to the power of Egypt and beat them back. The Egyptians have scuttled back to their boats as hurriedly as cockroaches looking for cover. And we weren't killed. We could've been prisoners marching back to Thebes. But we aren't. We escaped. We should be celebrating, not fighting among ourselves!”

Anoukhet scowled across at me and then at Tuthmosis. “
No!
I
can't
celebrate! I need to know why Tuthmosis gave up his right to the throne.”

Tuthmosis looked back at her. “Why did you and Kara sacrifice your bow fingers?”

“We had no choice!”

He shook his head. “In the
end
you had no choice. But in the beginning, why did you go into battle in the first place?”

“You already know the answer. We fought for you. We wanted justice done for you.”

“I wanted justice as well. I know you suffered. Many people suffered and died in this battle, wanting justice done.”

“Their deaths stand for
nothing
now! Why?”

“When I stood on the cliffs and looked down, I was sickened by what I saw. There were bodies lying everywhere. I realized that to be the pharaoh, I'd have to spend the rest of my life in battle. Always plotting and vanquishing. The only way to fight fire
is
with fire. I'd have to send men to war, not because
they
wanted to do battle but because of
my
desire to stay in power. I'd have to plot and counterplot to keep ahead. To wrest and wrench my power from everyone around me like a hunter wringing all life from a waterfowl. As ruthless in my ways as my father and as Wosret.”

Anoukhet narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

Tuthmosis broke a tiny piece from his reed and balanced it across the back of the beetle. “It's simple. Think of this beetle. If I pack too much on its back, it won't be able to move across the sand. When you're too greedy, you fail. Our quest was to grab back power. But not at such cost. I looked around me. I
realized that to grab back power by violence is not a noble quest.”

“It's what Egypt has
always
done!” Anoukhet snapped. “She's vanquished all the lands around her for their wealth.”

“That doesn't make it right. You can't fight violence with more violence. That sort of power corrupts. I don't want to be an overlord recognized only for the power of my chariots and sword. Power is no good when it comes at the expense of others.”

Anoukhet whipped around. “Ha! When did you decide
that
?”

“When I saw you and Kara have your fingers taken off. I vowed then. I held my pectoral in my hand and knew the heart scarab on it stood for nothing unless . . .”

“Unless what?”

He shrugged. “A stone heart is just that—a stone heart—whether it's of lapis lazuli or emerald. It's not the real heart. It's only a symbol, like any amulet placed in mummy wrappings to prevent the real heart from being stolen from the body.”

There was silence as Anoukhet sized him up. Then her words came out like sparks spitting from
a fire. “So you gave it all up! Our sacrifice was for nothing! We lost our bow fingers. You lost your kingdom.” She snapped her thumb against the fingers of her left hand. “Just like that! All because you had a change of heart.”

Katep pushed his hands down on her shoulders to calm her. She sat again. “You can't say the sacrifice was worthless. We each came to Nubia searching for something more.”

“Like what?” she rasped.

“Freedom, perhaps?”

I looked around at their faces. Something nagged at me. I looked across at Katep and took a deep breath. “Can you find freedom when you've killed someone?”

Katep glanced at me without answering.

“I've killed a man.”

I expected to see a startled look in his eyes. But instead he nodded. “I know. Anoukhet told me. You were protecting her. And she killed the charioteer to protect you. We've each killed for the love of one another.”

Tuthmosis looked across at me. “Katep's right. It's behind you now.” Then he laughed as if to break the
tension. He picked up the beetle and held it toward me in the cup of his hand. “Here—I swear by my heart in the form of this living scarab, it's behind us.”

I took the beetle. “Your heart?”

He shrugged. “Isn't a scarab more alive than a heart of any emerald?” He smiled broadly. “We've found our freedom. But if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have had the courage to be free now.”

The beetle in my hand reminded me of the drawing on the Senet board. Suddenly everything fell into place. I jumped up. “Wait! I've just remembered something.”

“What?” They looked at me strangely.

“I know the secret of the Senet board!” I fumbled in my girdle pouch and took out my father's board. “Don't you see? Look, there's a scarab beetle. Here's a frog . . . etched into the squares on the board.”

Anoukhet clicked her tongue. “Scarabs and frogs are everywhere in Egypt and Nubia!”

“No, look again. Look at the other symbols. Think of the journey we've made.” I glanced at Tuthmosis. “Remember in the labyrinth we found our way out because of the thirty turquoise tiles. We discovered the exit tile of Ra.”

They were staring blankly at me.

“My father was right. It's a game of passage. Except we've gone the other way around. We've traveled in the opposite direction on the board.”

Tuthmosis shook his head. “Opposite? What do you mean?”

“We weren't
exiting
at the Ra square. We were
starting
the journey. Entering our new life. Everything we've done since matches up with a marked tile on the board.” I held it up. “There's the symbol of the net for the labyrinth and the wavy lines for the waters of chaos. Even you are here, Katep, in the boat.” I shot a look at him. “See! Your outline is marked by stars. You're the hunter constellation, Sah.”

Katep shook his head. “Senet is just a game!”

Anoukhet eyed me. “He's right. It
is
just a game. You told us the turquoise tiles in the passageway were unmarked.”

I nodded. “They were unmarked because our journey was unknown. We didn't know what was ahead. We had to discover our journey.”

Tuthmosis smiled. “You mean we had to devise our own game of Senet?”

“Exactly. Every square is a test, whether you move
backward or forward. The symbols are different for each of us. We pass through labyrinths, get sucked into the waters of chaos along the way, and call on the gods to rescue us. Everyone does the journey in his or her own way. The only thing that matters is that we make the journey.”

Anoukhet looked across at me. “If we've made the journey, does that mean we've won?”

“I suppose it does.”

“So now? What next?”

I shrugged. “To our freedom?”

Anoukhet jumped up and did a whirling dance around us in the light that was turning soft and milky over the river. “To freedom and new adventures!”

Katep caught her by the arm. “Will you stay here in the land of Kush?”

She stood still for a moment and seemed to dare him with her eyes. “Will you teach me to handle a bow and arrow with my left hand?”

“Yes!”

She tossed her head. “Then I will!”

“And you, Kara? Will you stay?” Katep was watching my face. His glance seemed to polish the thin silver thread that I knew still ran between us.

I shrugged. We all three turned to Tuthmosis. He shook his head. “I can't stay. I must go back to Thebes.”

“Why?” Anoukhet demanded.

“To face Wosret properly.”

“But you sent your warning. You said you'd given up.”

“I need to face him—not with a sword but man to man. Justice needs to be done. I must defend my name. And the name of Kara's father.”

Later the sun dropped. Katep and Tuthmosis went back to the camp to organize the dismantling of it. A full moon rose. It was a gigantic glowing moon that sent gold skittering across the river. In the glow that still lay in the west, a long skein of cloud turned turquoise. It floated low on the horizon like a fine transparent robe, touched at one end with orange cornelian.

I glanced at Anoukhet and saw she'd seen it, too. It was Hathor floating across the sky in her turquoise robe with the moon resting on her head and the last sunlight flaring on the cornelian of her cobra earrings.

I found myself smiling. I'd been so terrified of
those rearing cobras. But not anymore. They were our protectors. They'd spit venom on our enemies. And now Hathor had come to give Anoukhet and me her blessing. Hathor—eye of wisdom, truth, and secrets, protector of women, eye of the moon.

I felt for the warmth of my mother's moonstone at my throat and the cowrie shell as well. I saw Anoukhet do the same.

“You'll leave soon, won't you?”

I nodded. “I must. My father's honor must be restored. The Temple of Sobek waits for me.”

Anoukhet raised an eyebrow. “The Temple of Sobek? Do crocodiles hold no fear for you?”

I picked up a flat pebble and held it awkwardly in my left hand, weighing it for size and smoothness as I thought about her question. Eventually the stone lay comfortable and calm in the cup of my hand. Then I held it between my finger and thumb, flicked back my wrist, and threw it as hard as I could across the water.

I held my breath, waiting for it to stutter and drop below the surface. But it jumped and skipped like a fish coming up for air—as good a throw as any I'd ever made with my right hand.

I shook my head. “Not anymore! None at all!”

Anoukhet smiled broadly. Then she searched for a flat stone and with a swift flick of her wrist sent it leaping after mine. “Every time Hathor carries the full moon between her horns, I'll throw a pebble and know you'll be doing the same. That way we'll never be parted.”