Eye of the Beholder (25 page)

She looped her arms around his shoulders and raised her face to his. His lips brushed her cheek. He spread soft kisses over her temple, her forehead, her nose and her chin. By the time he kissed her mouth, she was the one who was shaking. His body was hard, but his actions were filled with a tenderness that brought a moan to her throat.

He shifted his grip to her waist and lifted her higher. “I promised myself we’d go slow if we ever got the chance to do this again,” he murmured. He dragged his mouth over the top of her breast. He kissed his way downward. “But so help me, Glenna, if I don’t taste you in the next second—”

He closed his lips over her nipple. This kiss wasn’t soft. He used his tongue and then his teeth.

Glenna cried out, not from pain but from pleasure. She gripped his arms to steady herself. Muscle corded and quivered beneath her fingers as he held her suspended in front of him. He switched to her other breast and kissed her until the room began to spin.

No, it wasn’t spinning, he was moving. Rafe swung her up in his arms and carried her through the darkness, maneuvering her past the bulky outlines of large pieces of furniture toward a doorway on the other side of the room. He turned sideways to carry her through.

The moon hadn’t yet risen, but the light from a streetlight outside the window seeped through the louvered shutters to cast a muted glow over the bed. He laid her down in the center and knelt on the mattress by her side. His hands were warm and sure, skimming up her legs, over her thighs, lingering on her breasts, curling around her shoulders and down her arms until she felt too restless for her skin. When she reached for him, he caught her wrists, stretching her arms over her head. With his free hand, he started stroking her all over again.

She tried to hold back. It was impossible. He knew where to press and where to squeeze and how far he could push. When he leaned over her and nudged her thighs apart, using his mouth to send her over the edge, Glenna turned her head into the pillow to muffle her scream.

Rafe rested his head on her stomach and curled his arms around her hips. He didn’t say anything, he just held on as the aftershocks crashed over her.

She put her hands on his shoulders. Distantly she realized he was still fully dressed. “Rafe?”

He flicked his tongue into her navel. “Yeah?”

“Don’t you want…” She tried to focus her thoughts. It wasn’t easy. “Your clothes…”

“We’ve got all night, princess,” he said.

“But…”

“Don’t worry, it won’t be like the first time. I’m a long way from done.” He got to his knees and straddled her legs, then sat back on his heels. “And I’ve got no intention of letting you go until we finish what we started.”

Finish. She didn’t like that word. She didn’t want to think about endings or afterward or what would happen tomorrow.

“Besides, I could get used to having you like this.” His voice roughened. “Naked. On my bed.” He placed his palms over her breasts. “You’re so beautiful.”

So are you,
she thought. But she didn’t say it aloud. He wouldn’t understand. She inhaled deeply, lifting herself into his caress. “Rafe…”

He traced lazy circles with his thumbs, then bent forward and followed his thumbs with his mouth.

She whimpered. She couldn’t believe the sound, even as she heard herself make it. She couldn’t believe the tremors that were beginning again, either. “Rafe, please.”

“Tell me what you want

His question set off a flurry in her heart. She wanted him to be happy. She wanted him to be safe. She wanted him to love her.

But this was reality. She’d settle for what he was willing to give. She reached up and caught the edges of his shirt. She tugged it over his shoulders and down his arms. Then she opened his zipper and slipped her hand into his pants. “You, Rafe. I want you.”

He took off his clothes, stretched out beside her and gave her what he thought she wanted. He gave her his body.

She wrapped him in her arms and did her very best to pretend it was enough.

Rafe sifted his hand through Glenna’s hair, feeling the curls flow around his fingers like water. She mumbled something and snuggled her head against his chest. Her arm was draped limply across his waist, her leg flung over his thighs. He knew she was tired, but he didn’t want to let her sleep.

It was only three hours until dawn, and he hadn’t had anywhere near enough of her. That was no surprise. He’d been thinking about making love to Glenna for so long, he’d known he wouldn’t be satisfied with only one time. Or two. Or whatever happened to be the number of empty condom wrappers that were scattered on the floor around the bed.

He squeezed her shoulder. “Glenna?”

She sighed. Her hand drifted downward. “Again?”

He laughed quietly. “Maybe later.”

She lifted her head and looked at him. In the dim glow from the streetlight, her eyes were heavy lidded, her lips appeared swollen and well kissed. He ran his thumb across the lower one, feeling a rush of male satisfaction. He’d put that look on her face. He’d been the one to hear her cries and make her writhe.

She swirled the tip of her tongue over his thumb and smiled. “I wasn’t sure you could do that.”

“Hey, if anyone was keeping score—”

“No, not
that,
” she said. “You laughed.”

“What?”

“Just now. You hardly ever laugh.”

“Then we’re even.” He rolled to his back and settled her on top of him. “I never heard you laugh until last week.”

She folded her hands on his chest and propped her chin on her knuckles. “We haven’t had much time for laughter, have we, Rafe?”

“Yeah, we kind of skipped some of the preliminaries.”

She tilted her head. “The preliminaries?”

“You know, dinner and a movie.”

“Not unless you count mangoes. You brought me plenty of those.”

He chuckled again. “That’s something I definitely didn’t want to count.”

She hesitated. “If we had met under different circumstances, do you think you would have asked me on a date?”

“Considering that we live more than five hundred miles apart and don’t exactly work in the same field, I doubt if we would have met any other way.”

“But if we did,” she persisted. “Would you have asked me?”

He probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere near her, he thought. He would have judged her by her cool and elegant exterior and passed her by, never knowing the warm and passionate woman she was inside. “We can’t rewrite the past, Glenna.”

“You’re right. We can’t. We can overcome it, though.”

He couldn’t see her eyes clearly enough to tell whether she was talking about more than their dating history. He suspected she was. He reached for the lamp on the bedside table.

She squinted at the sudden illumination in the room. Rafe smiled at the picture she made. Her face was bare of makeup and bore a rosy flush. Her hair was a tousled cloud brushing her shoulders. Her hands looked slender and feminine where they rested on his chest.

He remembered in vivid detail how those delicate fingers had explored every inch of him. He skimmed his hands down to the dip at the small of her back. “I’m glad you did.”

“Did what?”

“Overcome the past.” He cupped her buttocks. “We’re good together. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I’ve wanted you.”

She was silent. Her hands on his chest curled slowly into fists. “Yes,” she said softly. “The sex was good.”

“Like I said, I could get used to this.”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I get thirty days paid vacation every year,” he said, spreading his fingers. “Maybe we could get together sometime.”

“Get together sometime,” she repeated.

He could feel tension seep into her body. He realized it wasn’t from arousal. “Glenna, that’s the only promise I can make. I respect you too much to lie. I thought you understood.”

“Yes, I understand perfectly. You’re glad that I’ve overcome my hang-up about needing to be in love to have sex. You enjoyed our evening together and you hope to have more of the same whenever you happen to be in Manhattan. Is that about right?”

“You’re making it sound—”

“Sordid?” she asked. She pushed herself off him. “Ugly?”

He reached for her, but she pulled away and sat up, drawing her knees to her chest. He followed her across the bed and knelt on the mattress in front of her. “No. It wasn’t ugly.” He tipped up her chin to meet his gaze. “What we did here was natural and healthy. It was special.”

“That’s right, Rafe. It was special.”

“I’m sorry, Glenna, I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve tried to be honest.”“I know. That’s why I have to be honest with you now.”

“I felt your honesty, princess. I tasted it.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t know why I came here tonight. I let you think I had changed my mind about us, but I hadn’t. We didn’t have sex, Rafe. We made love. I love you.”

It still hurt, the sudden spurt of hope he felt when he heard those words. He dropped his hand.

She caught his fingers and hung on. “I want you to hear this. I know I said this before. You were right not to believe me then. Not that I was really wrong, but because I didn’t know you.”

“You didn’t.”

“I do now. And I do love you. Not because you saved my life, not because you’re a skillful lover but because of who you are in here.” She moved their hands over his heart.

It was the same gesture he had used last week in anger, he realized. Why, then, did it feel so different?

“We are what we make of ourselves, Rafe. And you’ve made yourself into the kind of man any woman would be proud to stand beside. But you’re not perfect. None of us are. There will always be some ugliness mixed in with the good.”

“Glenna—”

“You have to forgive yourself, Rafe. And you have to forgive John.”

“What?”

“Forgive him for the envy and resentment that robbed you of your childhood. Let him go. It wasn’t his fault.”

“I hated him.”

“No, you didn’t hate your brother. You hated yourself for being human.” She dropped her hand to his thigh. Her palm rubbed over the healing patch of skin where he’d taken a bullet for her. “I believe in you. You’re too good a man to have been guilty of the things you fear. Because if you’re the monster you think you are, then how could I love you?”

“You don’t.”

She tightened her grip on his thigh and shifted to her knees. “Think about it, Rafe. If I didn’t love you, then how do you explain what we’ve been doing on this bed for the past six hours?”

He couldn’t reply. Not because he didn’t have an answer, but because he wasn’t ready to accept it. He’d already known that Glenna wouldn’t give her body lightly. He should have realized she hadn’t changed her mind about needing to be in love to make love. That wasn’t the kind of woman she was.

“I do love you, Rafe,” she whispered. “And as far as reasons go, it’s the best I can do.” Her breath hitched on a sob. She leaned over quickly, pressing a kiss to the scar on his thigh before she climbed onto his lap and hooked her legs around his hips. “But you can call it whatever you want just as long as we do it again.”

Chapter 14

“S
tealth and secrecy are our greatest assets. To reduce the risk of security leaks, the Rocaman government will be informed of this mission only on a need-to-know basis. We’ll be using Fort Buchanan, Puerto Rico, as our jumping-off point.” Major Redinger tapped the tip of the pointer to the map of the Caribbean that was tacked to the wall. “Once the plane reaches thirty-five thousand feet it will assume a southeasterly course that will intersect the territorial limit of Rocama here,” he said, moving the pointer down and to his right. “At that point, we will exit the plane and deploy our canopies.”

Rafe felt his pulse move into the familiar slow, steady throb of anticipation. This mission was going to begin with a HAHO, a high-altitude high-opening jump, one of the most effective—and the riskiest—methods of infiltration that Delta used. They would need navigation and night-vision equipment, oxygen systems and special gliding ram-air parachutes that would take them the fifty miles from the drop point to their target. They would arrive in total darkness and complete silence.

It was a good way to start. With the local authorities out of the loop, there would be no surprises like the reinforcements who had come to the hijackers’ aid at the airport. Leonardo Juarez would never see Delta coming.

Redinger walked to the table at the front of the room. “We will divide into two groups. Chief Esposito will take five men and land in this area to the east of the loading ramp.” He pointed to a spot on the model where the forest growth was relatively thin. “While group A secures the area and cuts off retreat, the rest of us, group B, will land here, on the roof.”

There would be twelve men altogether. Twelve against a heavily armed force of at least three dozen. The odds didn’t bother Rafe—they were exceptionally good odds for a Delta Force mission.

Esposito joined Redinger at the model to continue the briefing. As the enlisted men posed questions and offered suggestions, the plan of attack was gradually fleshed out. Rafe would be in the group that would land on the roof with the major. They’d split up from there, entering the house simultaneously through three strategically chosen windows.

Rafe focused on the house. Having a scale model of the target was invaluable to the proper coordination of a mission. Occasionally a team would build a life-size mock-up in order to practice the timing of an assault, but that wouldn’t be necessary this time. Sarah and Glenna had done a good job.

Rafe flicked his gaze to the clock on the wall, confirming the time in his head. The team had switched to night hours to adjust their body rhythms for the mission. It was forty minutes before midnight. Glenna had taken the morning train, so she would have arrived in New York over ten hours ago. She’d said she would be going straight to the office because there would be work to catch up on, phone calls to return, meetings to attend, a life to get back to…

She should have gone home first. She needed sleep. They’d been up most of the night. She’d been exhausted when he’d driven her to the station. Yet she’d smiled at him anyway. She’d kissed him and wished him luck with the mission and told him to call her whenever he was in Manhattan. She’d pretended that neither of them noticed the tears on her che.