Authors: Michelle Betham
‘Sorry, have I missed something here?’ Gary frowned, his expression more than a touch confused. ‘Amber’s gonna be a mum? How? I mean…?’
‘I’ll explain later, babe,’ Debbie said, running her fingers through her hair. ‘Ugh. I so need to wash this!’
‘Yeah, okay, but… did you just say Ryan’s the father?’
‘I said, I’d explain it all later,’ Debbie sighed, reaching over to the bedside table to retrieve her make-up bag, which made Amber smile. She’d had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before the old Debbie returned. Motherhood wasn’t going to change her
that
much.
‘No, hang on. Amber, is that true? You’re pregnant? And Ryan’s the dad?’
Amber looked at Gary, and for the first time since she’d heard the news herself she felt a glimmer of happiness start to push its way through the confusion. A miracle had happened, despite the one flaw she couldn’t change. But if that was the price she had to pay in order for her dream to come true, then she’d pay it. She had no choice.
‘Yeah, it’s true. Who the hell would have thought, huh?’
‘You okay, Dad?’ Brandon stood in his father’s office, arms folded as he leaned back against the wall, watching Jim at work.
‘I’m fine, Brandon.’ He threw down his pen and looked at his son. ‘Look, it’s for the best, okay? I can’t say I’m happy at the way things have turned out, because I’m far from that, believe me. But I can’t change it, can I? Not all of it, anyway.’
Brandon narrowed his eyes as Jim turned back to his laptop. ‘What do you mean, not all of it?’
‘Nothing, Brandon. I didn’t mean anything.’
Brandon wasn’t so sure, but he’d quickly learned not to question his dad on certain things, and his relationship with Amber was one of them.
‘You finished training early today,’ Jim commented, without looking up from his laptop.
‘We’re flying down to London later for the match on Sunday.’
‘You’re on TV.’ It wasn’t a question. Why would it be? Jim knew full well his son’s match against one of the big London clubs was being televised Sunday teatime. Red Star’s home game against West Midlands club Langdon Rovers was also being televised on Saturday afternoon. And it was a big game, an important one for Newcastle Red Star – if they won the match, taking all three points, then it would give them an extremely high chance of regaining the league title. Something Jim was determined to do. If he could prove to everyone that Newcastle Red Star didn’t need Ryan Fisher, then his life would be a whole lot easier.
‘Yeah. We’re on TV. Dad…’
Jim looked up at him, sliding his reading glasses down onto the end of his nose.
‘What’s happened with Amber…?’ So much for his not pushing the subject. Sometimes he just couldn’t help himself.
‘I don’t want to talk about it, Brandon.’ Jim dismissed the subject immediately, turning away, back to whatever it was he’d been doing before.
‘But you’re acting like it doesn’t matter, Dad. And I think it does. I mean, does it
really
have to spell the end for you and Amber? Couldn’t you just…’
‘That’s enough, Brandon. Do you hear me?’ Jim looked straight at his son, his expression stern and deadly serious. ‘There are things you don’t understand…’ He let the words trail off, not wanting to get into this conversation. It was nobody else’s business.
‘Then explain them to me.’
‘There are things you don’t understand. Things that happened, things that… It’s over, Brandon. What Amber and I had, it’s over. It has to be.’
‘Yeah, you keep saying that, but I don’t get it.’
‘You don’t need to, because it’s got nothing to do with you. It’s got nothing to do with anyone.’ Jim fixed him with another serious look. ‘So drop it. Right now.’
‘Do you love her?’
‘We’ve already been over this, Brandon, so just drop it, okay?’
Brandon sighed, pushing both hands through his hair. ‘I’m outta here.’
‘Good. I’ve got work to do.’
‘You’re burying your head in the sand, Dad. So she’s having Ryan Fisher’s baby…’
Jim looked up sharply, his eyes narrow, his expression hard. ‘Can you leave now, Brandon? Please.’
‘If you love someone, Dad; if you really, truly love someone, then you can get over anything. That’s what Mom always says, and I believe that. I believe that if you really can’t live without that person, no matter what they’ve done, there isn’t anything that can’t be resolved. Don’t you believe that, too?’
Jim said nothing, he just turned away, instantly dismissing Brandon’s question.
‘Jesus, Dad!’ But it was pointless trying to get through to him, that was becoming increasingly obvious. If Jim didn’t want to help himself be happy, then why should
he
bust his balls trying to get through to him? He’d leave him to it.
‘You okay?’
Brandon turned round as he closed the door of Jim’s office behind him, a smile forming on his face the second he saw her. ‘I am now I’ve seen you.’
She returned his smile, leaning back against the wall, clutching the pile of files she was holding against her chest. ‘I’ve got my lunch break in ten minutes. You busy?’
Brandon grinned, moving a couple of steps closer to her, reaching out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Not at the moment, no. Is that an invitation?’
‘An invitation? You need an invite now? I thought we were past all that.’
He leaned forward, kissing her gently, sliding an arm around her slim waist, pulling her against him. ‘Oh, I think we are, don’t you? It’s just that, I’m a nice guy. And I don’t want to sound too – pushy.’
‘You can be as pushy as you like,’ she breathed, looking up into his dark eyes. He had to be the most incredibly handsome man she’d ever laid eyes on. Even sexier than Ryan Fisher, and that was saying something, because he could get her hot just by looking at her. Until he’d turned into the biggest bastard there was. He didn’t deserve her, but she’d still drop everything if he told her he wanted her back. She’d still go running. ‘And if you come back to my flat for lunch, you can push me until I cry out loud.’
‘Jesus, baby, what are you trying to do to me?’
‘I’m trying to convince you that a naked lunch is the best kind.’
He grinned again. ‘I don’t need all that much convincing.’
‘You’re coming, then?’
‘Not yet,’ he whispered, moving his mouth close to hers until they were almost touching. ‘But I sure plan to. I’ll wait for you outside.’
She smiled, hugging her files closer to her chest as she watched him walk down the corridor. He had a swagger to him that was gaining him one hell of a fan club amongst female football fans, and he was hers. For now. He was all hers. She’d made sure of that. She might not have Ryan Fisher anymore, but she had the next best thing.
‘Ms. Taylor… Is there something I can do for you?’ Jim asked, coming out of his office and standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets, his expression cold.
Ellen shivered. She hoped Brandon wouldn’t turn out to be like his father, although, in the looks department she wouldn’t complain. For an older man Jim Allen was still sexy as hell, in a George Clooney kind of way.
‘No. I’m sorry, Mr. Allen, I was just… I was just on my way over to the admin block.’
‘Well, I’m sure they’ll be wondering where you are.’
She nodded, making her way down the corridor as fast as her four-inch heels would carry her.
‘Oh, and Ellen?’
She stopped, turning round to face Jim.
‘You be careful with my boy. He’s very precious to me.’
She waited until he was back inside his office before she continued her escape back into the main reception area. Of course she was going to be careful with Brandon. He was very precious to her, too. She didn’t hurt people. Unlike Ryan. She didn’t hurt people. And, when the time came, she was going to try very hard not to hurt Brandon.
Jim closed the office door behind him and leaned back against it, closing his eyes and breathing in deep. Ever since news of Amber’s pregnancy had hit the headlines he’d slowly felt as though, as each day went by, he was losing more and more control. And it wasn’t a feeling he liked. It didn’t make him feel comfortable. But he was dealing with it. In his own way.
The one thing it
had
done was bring him and Freddie Sullivan closer again. Their shared mistrust of Ryan Fisher had become the main topic of conversation between them over the past few days, and it had made Jim realise how much he’d missed his one-time best friend. Jim Allen didn’t have many friends, he didn’t like to get too close to people in case – well, he just didn’t. It wasn’t his style to let emotions take over. He’d let that happen with Amber and look at the outcome. So it was best to steer clear of all that now. Even if it wasn’t the easiest thing to do when Amber’s face was everywhere, stories of her and Ryan’s rumoured romance in every paper he picked up.
Walking over to the sideboard, he poured himself a large whisky. It had only just gone midday but he needed it. He needed to get his head straight. His beautiful wife was having another man’s baby. That still cut through him like the sharpest of knives, slicing away at his heart in the cruellest of ways. It wasn’t something he was dealing with all that easily, even though the image he gave off to the public was one of a man completely in control and getting on with his life.
But he knew that if this baby had been anyone else’s – if it had been Ronnie White’s – he could have dealt with that way better than he was dealing with this. But Amber was carrying Ryan Fisher’s baby. And that was a whole different ballgame.
His phone ringing pulled him back from the brink of darker thoughts, and he walked over to his desk, sitting on the edge of it as he answered the call.
‘Jim Allen?’ He sipped his whisky and listened as the voice on the other end spoke. ‘And you’re sure about that?’ He took another sip of whisky, a smile slowly starting to creep across his face as he listened. ‘Okay. Thanks. I’ll be in touch.’
Placing the receiver back down on his desk, he finished his whisky, clutching the empty glass tight in his fist, that smile still there. Because his day had suddenly just got a whole lot better…
‘It’s rumours, Ronnie. That’s all.’
‘You sure?’ Ronnie asked, pulling into a car parking space at Tynebridge.
‘Of course I’m sure. I haven’t seen Ryan since we were in Tenerife, and that was weeks ago, so how could we possibly have had a chance to
“rekindle our relationship”
as the press are so nicely putting it?’
‘There’s such a thing as the telephone now, you know. And the internet. Have you heard of email, or Skype?’
‘Yeah, you’re funny,’ Amber said dryly, climbing out of the car and slamming the door shut behind her. ‘There’s nothing going on, okay?’
‘You’ve spoken to him though, surely. To let him know about the scans.’
Amber nodded, walking alongside Ronnie as they climbed the steps up to the main entrance, the sound of a match-day crowd already filling the air. ‘I’ve emailed him photos. There’s no reason why he shouldn’t be as much a part of all this as he possibly can, even if he
is
thousands of miles away.’
‘And are you doing all of this because you think it’s what you
should
be doing? Or is it because you
want
him to be a part of it all?’
‘He’s the father, Ronnie.’
‘That’s not answering my question.’
‘You’re digging for information, and I don’t have any to give you. I’m only doing what anyone else would do under the same circumstances.’
‘I doubt anyone’s circumstances are anything like yours, kiddo.’
‘You’re not helping, do you know that?’
‘Sorry.’ Ronnie grinned, kissing her quickly on the cheek as they stepped inside the huge and airy entrance to Tynebridge. ‘I’m off to ring the guys back in the studio, see what’s happening back at base.’
They were there to report on the televised game between Newcastle Red Star and Langdon Rovers, or rather, Ronnie was. Amber was having a weekend off for hospital appointments, and to come home and see her dad. Their relationship was slowly getting back to some sort of normality, and Amber was glad of that, because she needed Freddie. He was the only real family she had, and she missed her dad, more than anybody, since she’d started to spend more time down in London.
‘Amber!’
Amber swung round to see Debbie standing there waving wildly at her, her new hair extensions immaculate, her make-up perfect, and her heels just as high as they had been pre-pregnancy.
‘You look amazing!’ Amber smiled, walking over to her friend, enveloping her in a huge hug.
‘I should do,’ Debbie said, flicking her hair back over her shoulder. ‘All this cost me a small fortune. Gary thinks it was well worth all the money, though.’
‘Yeah, well, I have to agree with him,’ Amber laughed. ‘You really do look incredible. But where’s Jodi?’
‘My mum’s got her. She just adores her new granddaughter, even if the idea of being called Nana isn’t one she’s particularly happy with. She still thinks she’s far too young to be a grandma, but one day she’ll wake up and realise you can only keep knocking years off your age for so long. People are already starting to question the fact it would appear she had me when she was nine.’
Amber smiled again, absentmindedly placing a hand on her slightly swollen stomach. At four months pregnant she had the tiniest hint of a baby bump, and she was growing to love it. In fact, she couldn’t wait for it to grow bigger so she could finally start to believe this was really happening.
Debbie looked down at Amber’s tummy, not missing the tiny bump just visible beneath Amber’s hand as it pressed lightly against her dress. ‘Oh, hello, baby! Finally starting to make an appearance I see.’
‘Just.’ Amber smiled, something she couldn’t really seem to stop doing lately – smiling. Despite everything she was still feeling. Despite the nights she still cried herself to sleep, and those quiet hours when she had far too much time to think. Those hours when she’d still allow herself to briefly imagine what all this would have been like if the baby had been Jim’s. But she really was trying to do that less and less. For the good of the baby. She really was trying to move forward, even if being around Jim still hurt with a pain she sometimes found unable to bear.