Authors: Morris Gleitzman
Hiding here in Ayo's locker probably isn't the best idea I've ever had.
I did it in case training finishes and the rest of the boys come into the changing room before Ayo does. That way at least I'll be hidden and I can have a chat with Ayo through the door.
That's if I'm not unconscious.
It's not Ayo's fault. Everyone's locker probably smells like this. It's natural with all the sweaty socks and pongy deodorants that get stored in them.
I concentrate on keeping my breathing good.
Mum and Dad, I wish you could see this. It's what I've been trying to tell you. Even in tricky and slightly smelly situations I can look after myself.
What's that sound?
It's soccer studs clacking on the floor.
That's a relief. Ayo must have finished his chat with Mr Nkrumo and come in here to get changed early so he doesn't have face the other boys after being sent off.
I'll just gently open the locker door so I don't startle him too much, and we can have a little chat.
Except the locker door won't open.
There's no handle this side. When it swung shut behind me I didn't notice that. I can't believe it. What idiot would design a locker with a door that can't be opened from the inside?
OK, Mum and Dad, if you were here now you'd be seeing that even when situations get slightly trickier, I still don't panic. Even though there's just a chance Ayo got into the minibus with Mr Nkrumo to get changed at home and it's somebody else who's come into the changing room and they've got earphones in and won't hear me and I could be discovered next week as a skeleton.
I'm still not panicking. Not totally.
Someone pulls the door open.
Relax Mum and Dad, it is Ayo.
Eeuw. Why would a person take all their clothes off before they open their locker?
âSorry,' I say.
âArghhh,' yells Ayo.
He grabs his soccer shirt and wraps it round his waist.
I'm not too shocked. You're not when you've had older brothers and parents who are too busy for weeks on end to fix the lock on the bathroom door.
âWhat you doing?' Ayo yells at me.
âI just wanted a chat,' I say, stepping out of the locker.
âI know you,' says Ayo. âYou're Matt's sister. You a maniac or what, girl?'
I'm tempted to point out that he's the one who's just been sent off for unruly behaviour. But I don't. Instead I ask him if he remembers how much fun soccer used to be when he was a kid.
Ayo stares at me like I'm talking another language.
âYou know,' I say. âKick-arounds in the street or next to the cattle yard or in the supermarket carpark.'
âNo supermarket,' says Ayo. âNot in my village. I'm West Africa, not West Bromwich.'
I ask him if his village is affected by wombats.
He says no over his shoulder as he puts his shorts on. Then he starts to relax as we talk about how wildlife can make soccer even more interesting.
âDo you miss it?' I say. âWhere you grew up?'
Ayo thinks. And nods a bit unhappily.
I tell him about the council estate.
âIt's kind of like a village,' I say. âNo elephants, not that I know about. But fun.'
âMatt,' says Ayo. âHe playing there too?'
âThat's the plan,' I say.
âAgainst the rules, though,' says Ayo.
âThat's why you mustn't tell Mr Nkrumo,' I say. âCome over to Mrs Jarvis's and we'll take you.'
Ayo thinks about this. I can see he likes the idea of doing something without Mr Nkrumo breathing down his neck.
âMaybe,' he says. He grins. âAlright, it's a plan.'
Brilliant.
I give him a high handshake.
Then not so brilliant.
All the other boys come in.
It's a bit chaotic for a while, but you'd be pleased to see, Mum and Dad, that I handle it pretty well. I apologise to them all, and warn them about the lack of handles on the inside of their locker doors.
While I'm doing that, and Ayo is flicking some of the rude ones with a towel, I notice that Matt isn't in the changing room yet, so I hurry outside to find him.
He's over by the pitch talking to Uncle Cliff and Mrs Jarvis. Terrine is with them, but not Gazz.
âHi Bridie,' says Terrine. âI've been hearing how well Matt's doing.'
âThe trainers are very happy,' says Mrs Jarvis.
âPure rock 'n' roll,' says Uncle Cliff. âHome-sickness, constipation, nothing slows him down.'
Matt looks a bit embarrassed. I don't blame him.
âThanks for the tea the other day, girls,' Terrine says to me and Mrs Jarvis. âGot to choof now. We've got fourteen for dinner and one of them's a royal.'
We say goodbye and watch Terrine get into her yellow Lamborghini.
Matt can't take his eyes off it.
I bet he's thinking of buying one for Mum. I know she wouldn't want it. Not if it cost her the only son she's got left. I reckon if she knew, she'd say I'm doing the right thing here.
I hope.
âPoor Terrine,' says Mrs Jarvis. âGazz sends her down here to check up on the trainees. Make sure none of them looks like taking his job this week.'
âGazz sounds really stressed,' says Uncle Cliff. âI should offer to lend him my iPod. It's got some really relaxing Grateful Dead on it.'
âWhat Terrine really wishes,' I say, âis that Gazz could rediscover the joyful spirit of the beautiful game. And play football as football should be played. Like he used to, growing up on his council estate.'
I think I got all the words in the right order.
I look at Matt.
Matt doesn't say anything.
âWhich is a coincidence,' I say. âI was just talking to Ayo and he grew up on a council estate.'
Uncle Cliff and Mrs Jarvis give me a look.
âSort of a council estate,' I say. âIt was more like an African village really, but Ayo's very keen to have a game on the estate here. I think he's feeling lonely being so far from home.'
âNice kids on that estate,' says Mrs Jarvis. âHe'll have fun.'
Matt is frowning.
âIt's against the rules,' he says.
Mrs Jarvis gives Matt the sort of look she often gives Uncle Cliff.
âMatt,' she says. âBreaking rules is like breaking wind. You don't do it all the time, but occasionally you have to.'
Uncle Cliff gazes at her. He's definitely in love.
Mrs Jarvis leans towards Matt and speaks in a whisper.
âI'm not meant to make fishcakes,' she says. âThey're not on the club diet. But I do because Mr Merchant likes me to bring them in for him sometimes.'
She gives Matt a naughty grin.
Matt looks doubtful for a moment, then grins back.
When we arrive at the council estate, there are about ten kids already having a kick-around.
I get out of the car first. Lola is pleased to see me and wants me to go in goal again, which is really nice of her.
âNot today, thanks,' I say.
For a moment I think Lola is going to argue, but then she meets Matt and Ayo and gets distracted.
I'm feeling too stressed to go in goal. I know I'm not a manager any more, but sometimes it's just as stressful being a sister. Specially when you're trying to save your brother and he doesn't even want to be saved.
While Uncle Cliff gives some of the estate kids high-up handshakes to show how friendly we Aussies are, Mrs Jarvis gives me a quick squeeze.
âYou've done all you can,' she says. âIt's up to Matt now.'
I know she's right. But I wish there was an easier way of saving him. Hypnotism or something.
The game starts up again with Matt and Ayo playing one on each side.
Matt starts having fun almost straight away.
Me and Uncle Cliff and Mrs Jarvis grin at each other. It's so good seeing Matt doing cartwheels down the whole length of the council estate pitch after the goal he set up was booted in by a boy in a Chelsea shirt. Who's blowing him kisses.
A couple of times Ayo forgets the difference between a game and a match and grabs other kids' shirts. Uncle Cliff gives him a whistle from the sideline and Ayo remembers and lets go and says sorry.
When Ayo is relaxed, he plays really well. Skilful and fast. Not as skilful and fast as Matt, but almost. I can see why he was the top under-fifteen player before Matt came along.
It's starting to get dark.
The estate kids don't seem to care. They play on in the gloom. When they can't see the ball or each other, they just laugh more.
Uncle Cliff turns the car headlights on and aims them towards the pitch.
âThanks,' yells a boy in an army greatcoat.
He gets tackled by Ayo. Who gets tackled by Matt. Good clever tackling without any holding, turning or elbows.
Which is why the angry car horn we hear, loud and going on and on, seems a bit out of place.
âWho's that?' says Mrs Jarvis, peering at a pair of headlights flashing towards us.
I recognise the vehicle. Mr Nkrumo's minibus.
It drives off the road and onto the pitch, horn still blaring angrily.
âHey,' yells Uncle Cliff. âWe're having a game here.'
The minibus stops in the middle of the pitch and Mr Nkrumo gets out. He yells at Ayo. Ayo stares at him, shoulders slumping. Mr Nkrumo yells even more angrily. Stuff about how Ayo is a very stupid boy. Ayo walks slowly over to the minibus. Mr Nkrumo pushes him inside, glares at us, gets in and drives away.
As the minibus revs past us, I see Ayo's sad face against the glass, his eyes closed.
We're all a bit stunned.
âIs it his bedtime?' says one of the younger boys.
I can see Matt looking concerned. About Ayo, but maybe also wondering if he's being a stupid boy himself.
âCome on,' I say to them all. âDon't let dopey old Mr Nkrumo spoil the fun.'
âThat's right,' says Uncle Cliff. âI'll have a word with him at training tomorrow. Tell him he's not doing Ayo any favours, behaving like a prawn.'
Mrs Jarvis doesn't say anything.
She keeps glancing down the street in the direction the minibus took. I know how she feels.
Poor Ayo.
âCome on, Matt,' says Lola. âYour sister's right. Play on.'
Matt plays on. But it's not the same.
He tries to be fair. He doesn't score for several minutes. And when he does it's with his left foot. While he's lying on the ground.
âYes,' yells the boy in the Chelsea shirt, who's happy because he's on Matt's side.
âFluke,' yells the boy in the army coat, who's not.
âMatt,' I say. âTime to change sides.'
âHang on,' protests the boy in the Chelsea shirt. âWe don't change sides here.'
âYes we do,' says the boy in the army coat. âWhen Liam used to play with us he changed sides all the time.'
âHe was three,' says Lola. âHe didn't know what a side was.'
All the other kids start arguing and nobody listens to me as I try to explain how changing sides is perfectly normal in Australia. Matt tries too, but they ignore him as well. The argument just gets worse, right up to the moment the yellow Lamborghini arrives.
Then nobody says anything.
We all just stare as the Lamborghini parks next to Uncle Cliff's car.
Me and Matt and Uncle Cliff and Mrs Jarvis are a bit more prepared than the others for what happens next. So we don't actually do any squeaks or say any Horns And Tail Hotel words when one of the most famous footballers in the world gets out of the Lamborghini with his beautiful girlfriend.
âFlippin heck, Terrine,' says Gazz. âIt's a bleedin' estate.'
âSo what,' says Terrine. âDon't be rude. Anyway, you had fun growing up on yours, you're always telling journalists that.'
Gazz isn't sure what to say.
He glances at Mrs Jarvis, who's smiling at him.
Then he sees all the open mouths and all the big eyes staring at him.
âAllo, kids,' he says.
âWotcha,' Terrine says to the rest of us. âThanks for suggesting this, Mrs J. It's just what Gazz needs.'
Gazz is walking onto the pitch, giving a car parts hole a wary kick.
âYou'd have to be well skilled to play on this,' he says.
âThat's lucky,' says Terrine. âCos you are.'
Gazz flips the ball into the air with his foot and does some ball juggling with his knees, shoulders and head.
âCome on then,' he says to the kids. âTackle me.'
Nobody moves.
âThey don't know whose side you're on, you wally,' says Terrine.
The boy in the army coat clears his throat. He does it several times before any words come out.
âWe need an extra player on our side,' he croaks.
âIs that right?' says Gazz.
âYeah,' says Matt, stepping out from behind the other kids. âThey do.'
Gazz looks at Matt.
âAllo, Nipper,' he says. âSo this is your secret, eh? This is where you get it all from. Dribbling round the old car parts, eh?'
I can see Matt isn't sure what to say.
âGazz,' says Terrine. âBe nice.'
âGiven this one'll be wearing my shirt in a few months,' Gazz says, ruffling Matt's hair, âI think I'm being very nice. OK, which way am I kicking?'
The game starts again.
At first nobody wants to tackle Gazz. Matt shows them how. Even I hold my breath the first time he does it. But an amazing thing happens. Gazz doesn't mind. Well, he does, but not in a cross grown-up way. In a laughing kid way.
Then Lola and the others tackle him too. You can see they can hardly believe what their feet are doing. But only for the first couple of minutes. Then it's just a normal game, only with slightly more dazzling footwork and a couple of players who are a bit better than the others, but just as hopeless when they laugh too much.
Uncle Cliff's headlights start to fade, so Terrine switches theirs on instead.
I'm not kidding, a Lamborghini lights up a soccer pitch better than the floodlights at Wembley stadium.
Mrs Jarvis puts her arm round me, and Uncle Cliff puts his arm round her.
The kids play on, giggling and falling about, with Gazz the biggest happiest kid of all and Matt not far behind.
After a bit, Mrs Jarvis sighs and shakes her head.
âWhy would anyone give all this up,' she murmurs, âfor a measly two hundred thousand pounds a week?'
Terrine nods sadly.
I don't think Uncle Cliff heard her, because a few minutes later, after he finishes cheering a goal, he turns to me.
âThis plan of yours is Judas H brilliant,' he says. âMatt's happier than a pig in porridge. Now he's cheered up, I reckon he'll crack a place in the first team before you can say fat wallet.'
I don't reply.
I glance at Mrs Jarvis and Terrine. They don't say anything either.
But I can see we're all hoping Uncle Cliff is wrong.