Extol of Agnatic Dreams (The Extol Series Book 1) (18 page)

Glais was a gentleman of many unique attributes had never been real. She mourned him, and nightly she would struggle to find one good characteristic in Glais, a single positive that might be the starting point for them. Instead, she was greeted twice a day with a stony silence and no attempts to lighten the tension that would befall the family meals. Baxter had been so adamant that Glais was prone to skipping the family meals whenever he could. However, she was yet to witness these absences.

Opening the library doors, Evangeline was glad to see that Sigourney was sitting there and she could put a stop to the frazzled design of her own thoughts. Did Glais come to breakfast just to see her and torment her further? The only answer she had did not feel entirely accurate and so she had gone back and forth, sending herself crazy until Sigourney had become a welcomed distraction from her torture.

Sigourney was sitting in a high-backed chair, dressed very much like she had been the first time they had met. Evangeline was starting to recognise that the staff within the castle wore uniforms fitting to their station and jobs. The uniforms only made the elaborate costumes of the royals seem even more eye-catching.

Hunched over some papers that looked like maps, Evangeline approached carefully. “Sigourney,” Evangeline said her name just loud enough to get the other woman’s attention.

“Miss Evangeline.” She smiled and closed the book she had been looking at. “How can I be of assistance?”

“Would you like to come join me for tea?” Evangeline asked.

Sigourney frowned as if she had heard the request wrong or perhaps Evangeline had spoken another language. “Whatever you need me for, we do not need tea to keep us busy.” She was quick to decline the offer. She did not have the patience or dealing with Royals even though her job kept her in close contact with them.

“I don’t need your service.” Evangeline was embarrassed but she powered through, believing this would someday be something they laughed about. “I was hoping we could talk. Perhaps we could become friends.”

Sigourney settled back in her chair, taking the moment to collect her thoughts and consider her words carefully because this was quite tricky. She bothered with the maps before her, shuffling the papers and straightening her small stack of books. Evangeline was hopeful that this was a good sign, that Sigourney was packing up so she would be free to leave the library with her. That was dashed quickly with Sigourney’s next words.

“Evangeline, you are a lovely girl but we are not friends.” She didn’t mince words or try and sugar coat it at all. It was simply facts and she delivered them as kindly as she could.

“But in the carriage…” Evangeline tried to fight for their possible future but Sigourney shook her head and Evangeline knew whatever argument she had would fall on deaf ears because decisions had already been made without her consent.

“I am sorry if I ever gave you that impression of friendship.” At least, that sounded sincere and it was. Sigourney didn’t want to hurt Evangeline. She also did not wish to become the replacement for whatever friends Evangeline had left behind in Crimah.

“I understand.” Evangeline even managed a small smile after she spoke even though it did not reach her eyes which were already pooling with tears from the rejection. She had not realised how desperate she was for this friendship to work until suddenly it became impossible. Turning to leave Sigourney stopped her.

“Stay.” Sigourney really was apologetic, and somehow her kindness only made Evangeline feel worse about the whole situation. “Release this frustration and those tears. And when it is done, clean yourself up before anyone sees you.”

Evangeline nodded dumbly and with a final glance at her, Sigourney left the library without even a glance back in her direction and Evangeline was still as alone as ever before. She took the seat the other woman had vacated, sitting heavy on the plush cushion. Then tears did come but they were slow and barely even worth the energy it took to summon them. Evangeline had run out of tears that first day with Glais in the barn. She had nothing to waste on these new misadventures.

She had been rejected by the court. The women here did not wish to know her further then the oddity of being Glais’ soon to be wife and stranger from the south land of Crimah. She had been rejected by Glais himself. She had no home here and not from lack of trying. If she continued down this path, it would only end badly. Only weeks in Braykith and Evangeline already doubted she would last the rest of the month. She shuddered to think of how she would survive the rest of her years here. She would soon be speaking to her own reflection.

She needed friends and since the people of Braykith had rejected her, she would reject them and bring the only two people in the world to her. They would complete her security circle. Viviana and Teagan would not desert her, and perhaps they would enjoy the change of scenery. It wasn’t as easy as getting them to arrive at the gates. Evangeline needed to ensure they would be allowed entrance. Quintus needed to have his hand on this, and Evangeline prayed that he would give her this one request. She would do this properly, hoping that by doing so she would be showing Quintus the respect of his position and not undermining his authority in court. This was no whimsical request but needed for her survival.

T
he throne room was the logical place to begin her search since it seemed that Quintus spent much of his time there. He was a busy King. However, it became apparent that something could be going in her favour when she came upon him in a quiet moment with no more than two guards at his side. The room itself was very bare and holding only the necessary of items needed. Three steps showed the way to the chairs for the Royals to sit. Banners hung on the walls, in the Braykith Black and gold, sharing the same cloth with the Eoboven blue. The lands that Kyleigh was from. Evangeline had been schooled lightly in this before coming to Braykith. When she married Glais, her own home colours would be added to show the uniting support from all three nations.

Seeing the colours side by side was a solid reminder of why she was here and the reasons she needed to stick with the current course. Her land needed Braykith. Evangeline spoke a small prayer to Iloh, to give her strength and faith in Xado and his great plans for her. Blinking slowly, bowing her head in the direction of the sun Evangeline paid her respects.

Around the space, strategic lighting was used to illuminate the room. There were no windows here. Instead, upon the wooden panels that made up the walls, there were numerous carvings, delicate and purposeful in their intentions and seeming to tell the story of how Braykith came to be. Every section was used and not an inch was spared. The tiny depiction of a budding empire caught Evangeline’s eye and she could not bring herself to look away.

Although she couldn’t focus on a single image. Her eyes seemed to be pulled in all directions, desperate to get the full story and reach the ending. Only getting snippets of the illustrations meant she would return back to it, but still not fully appreciate it then and so a third look would be needed. She had never seen anything as beautiful as this and felt like she needed to sit and study the architecture. Much of the castle had been seen by the elements and this showed in all areas of the castle, except here. The walls were immaculate and obviously cared for. She suspected that the carvings would be replaced with a perfect replica if they ever needed it.

The King’s chair was empty at the moment and so Evangeline was able to admire it in the way she had not been able to do before. The wood was the darkest shade she had ever seen, and in this lighting, it appeared black. Evangeline dared not believe her eyes and was sure if the sun were to shine on it, the wood would show to be the darkest of browns. As she approached, it was clear to see the red and gold that decorated the wood. They seemed like veins, thoughts that made Evangeline sick to her stomach.

Surely this pattern could not occur naturally. Instead, she believed that this design was approved and monitored by some keen observer. Evangeline had no example to pull on from her experience, and yet the crisscross pattern of solid ribbons of colour was so seamless that it seemed to be the only explanation. Unnerved, she was glad when Quintus finally spotted her and brought her out of her own thoughts.

“I am sorry about disturbing you Quintus…” Evangeline paused after using his name, eyeing his guards but it seemed that Quintus did not mind her using his name, just as he had insisted that first night. “I was hoping to speak to you and instead got lost in the beauty of this room.” Evangeline was expecting to be told to return later but Quintus only beckoned her to come closer.

“If this is about Glais, I am afraid I have said to him all that I can regarding his current situation and actions against you.” Quintus apologised, really not able to see an end to this particular problem until Glais came to his senses.

Evangeline blushed, although she quickly realised that she should not be surprised that Quintus was aware of the tension between herself and Glais. Glais was taking every opportunity he had to prove his disinterest and at times anger at the very idea that she was even here. “This isn’t about Glais.” Evangeline murmured, still embarrassed but this was not the time to obsess over Quintus and his involvement.

“I am voting for you Evangeline.” Quintus sounded so sincere in his statement for support that Evangeline was shocked silent for a moment. It was hard to meet his eyes, his features so like his son’s and looking at her in ways she wanted Gaius to see her. Anyone showing her support right now was favourable, as Evangeline was sharply reminded why she was here.

“The reason I am here is I was hoping we could speak about your conditions set before my arrival.” Evangeline was going for diplomatic, again mimicking the pose and tone of her mother in the mild belief it might win her some kind of favour from the King. She supposed she could always hold her breath until she passed out, but maturity seemed far more persuasive at her age now. However, if things grew more desperate, it might seem like a more attractive display to win over the King and acquire the things Evangeline felt that she needed.

Quintus could only guess what ban she wanted to be lifted. It was easy for anyone to see that she was not adjusting to Braykith as well as he had hoped. “I made those stipulations for a reason,” Quintus warned her, hoping that Evangeline would take it and ask nothing more of him. One look at her face though and he knew that she would not be silenced so quickly, “They are measures of protections for my family, and that includes you as well.”

Evangeline shook her head. “These rules are hurting me Quintus. I am sure you felt very much that you needed those restrictions but I am not thriving here.” She felt the tears threaten and she took a moment to regain control of herself. “I feel less alive with every passing day. It is only a matter of time before I feel nothing.” It was the first time she had really voiced her opinion on the subject, and to do it here and with such emotion was shocking to her. The wording felt dramatic but also truer than any other words she had spoken.

“Evangeline…” Quintus motioned to his guards and they took small steps away from the pair. It was all an illusion of privacy. Evangeline was aware they would still be listening to every word that was being said but she appreciated the effort all the same. “I know that Glais is stubborn.” He started on a small speech he had been preparing for this situation, but Evangeline wouldn’t let him get further before she interrupted him.

She wanted to scream but held back from that. “This isn’t about Glais. It is everyone turning against me. Their friendships and gossip circles are too stable and my attempts to entice even a real conversation with anyone are too subtle to make an impact. I am unsure of the reasons why. The maids are terrible gossips, Wick is silent as I am sure you are aware and Kyleigh…” Evangeline stopped herself before she insulted the queen of the city and got herself beheaded. If Quintus were made aware of how Evangeline truly felt about Kyleigh, that she was a bore and had nothing to contribute, he would, at least, dismiss her and remove his support quickly.

“There is very little Kyleigh and I have in common, and while we both try there seems to be a distance developing.” Evangeline said lamely and Quintus nodded. He did not speak to her though as Evangeline waited for some other response from the King. She felt foolish and childish for her ramblings but she couldn’t take them back now.

Quintus was hoping that Evangeline would lose some of that light in her eyes, the hopeful glance that maybe she had said enough to change his mind. In truth, he felt for her and didn’t want to give her more reason to hate her life here. Quintus had noticed the same things she had, maybe more so since he had ears reporting back to him. He had hoped that with some patience the staff would stop gossiping about her, but it seemed every day she was the subject of discussion. Glais didn’t help the situation.

“I am sorry Evangeline but my answer remains as I told you in the beginning. No.” Evangeline deflated right in front of him and Quintus reached out for her. Too surprised to refuse Evangeline moved into the hug. He embraced her and Evangeline fought very hard not to break into tears. This was the only real human contact she had experienced since getting here and standing with her eyes closed she could almost believe it was her father. She clung to the King for an extra moment before finally they parted.

“I understand,” She said, sniffing but there were no falling tears.

Quintus nodded. “You don’t Evangeline.” She frowned in response but Quintus wouldn’t share with her particulars. “It is nothing to be ashamed of. It just is what it is. I wish I could say more except the reasons are personal and not negotiable. I need to protect my Kingdom and the comings and goings of this place. Even from our closest allies.”

“Do you plan to go to war with my father?” Evangeline asked, very suspicious of Quintus suddenly.

“One day, in the future, your father’s Kingdom and mine will be all that remains. We would have worked through the other provinces of this country and there will be no one else left to fight. I hope we can find peace then together, I really do Evangeline, but if we went to war I would like to have a few surprises remaining.”

Evangeline stood there, trying to process the very idea of killing her own people and it hurt her to even speak of it. She needed to take a deep breath and a hard swallow before she could find some kind of answer. “Do you really think such things?” she asked.

Quintus shrugged. “Your father wonders the same thing. You are his leverage. His reason not to invade, and my reason not to attack. You are essential to our alliance. Not just now, but for as long as your bloodline remains.”

“If such a thing ever happens.” Evangeline spoke softly to herself but Quintus heard her.

“Glais will perform his husband duties. We all value an heir.” Evangeline couldn’t imagine how such a thing would be with Glais in his current mood. She had been so concerned about his expectations in the bedroom, and yet now she was so disgusted with him Evangeline didn’t want Glais to touch her. Quintus had watched her process his actions before he gestured to the door. “If you excuse me I have to return to work.”

“Can you think on it?” Evangeline asked, a last desperate stab at perhaps gaining something from this meeting beyond being reminded that she had yet again failed at a task she had been so stubborn about before. Quintus shook his head no and turned his back on her. Picking up the hems of her skirt, Evangeline could only make a hasty exit before she did break down into tears.

Evangeline had never felt so humiliated, and she could not imagine a worse day than the one she was experiencing now. She felt the need to hit something, scream until her lungs gave out. Evangeline wanted to collect up her belongings and leave this place. She would never do such a thing because Evangeline knew that she was bound by a promise that had been made on her behalf when she was barely old enough to understand. A promise that had already brought Crimah great things.

For all of her sacrifices that had been made and would be made in the future, she seemed to want so little. Clearly Quintus would not be agreeing with her assessment of the situation. For the King of Braykith, it appeared to be such a terribly big thing to consider. In her rush to flee the judging eyes of the castle, she didn’t see Kyleigh until she was stopped by the Queen.

“Evangeline, what is the matter?” Kyleigh asked the girl, trying to catch her line of sight but Evangeline was avoiding her. “Is it Glais?”

Evangeline’s shoulders slumped at the mention of her fiancé again as the purpose of her moods once again. “I have an emotional range not dictated by the attitudes of a man.” She had snapped at Kyleigh before she regained control of herself. “I apologise. It has been a terrible day.” She was beginning to feel that she could not exist without Glais’ name haunting her, and it was not something she was accustomed to. Perhaps Braykith would be better suited for her if she had been sent here when she was young, but to be so inexperienced with the culture and missing her own securities, Evangeline felt easily overwhelmed most days.

Kyleigh nodded, trying not to take the vicious tone to heart. “Come outside with me. The air will do you good.” Evangeline followed along beside Kyleigh, not hopeful but instead trying to find some kind of positive interaction for today. Walking out to the gardens was still breathtaking, even in her sour mood Evangeline would never tire of looking at the lush greens of the gardens.

Evangeline felt compelled to comment. “The gardens here are beautiful.”

Kyleigh smiled and looked out over the grass. “They are now.”

“There was a time when the greens weren’t not so bright?” Evangeline found it hard to believe. This kind of beauty could not be cultivated quickly, but it seemed so glorious that she refused to image anything less than this perfection.

Kyleigh nodded but didn’t elaborate on it and Evangeline didn’t pressure her. “How much do you know of Braykith Evangeline?” Kyleigh asked as the women started walking slowly along the path.

Evangeline was unsure what had prompted the change in conversation but she went with it. “The same rumours that most people know. I must admit you did a good job in maintaining a fierce reputation when you came to visit my home.”

“Reputation is paramount to my husband. Most of the rebels against us are unaware if they banded together, they would overwhelm our numbers and our allies.” Evangeline stayed quiet. She didn’t think such a thing was possible, but if Kyleigh said it was so then she would believe her. “So you are aware of the regular debaucheries. Tales of the Braykith dragons, demon worship, blood sacrifices…” she prompted.

Evangeline nodded. “Men who know no pain and never feel the need to stop until all lay dead at their feet. Your horses fuelled most of the proof of demon worship are the myths I know.” Evangeline smiled and Kyleigh joined her.