Exquisite (35 page)

He’d hung up from speaking with
Lena and called his mother back but she hadn’t answered, a man named Edward
Scott had. He couldn’t get the words;
Son I’m sorry to tell you but your
mother suffered a massive heart attack around twenty minutes ago. There was
nothing they could do
, to stop playing on repeat in his head. After that it
was all a blur.

He knew he’d gone down to the
hospital but he couldn’t remember getting there. He remembered a young lady in
a lab coat, much like Lena’s, take him into a small room with stainless steel
tables and he remembered a sheet being pulled back and seeing his mother lying
there, as though she were asleep, but he just didn’t believe any of it. His
mother wasn’t dead, it was impossible, they’d just talked this morning on the
phone and he’d told her he was going to ask Lena to move in with him, she’d
been thrilled.
She had been fine
. He slouched back on the couch and laid
his arms on his legs. Staring through the dark to the lights below he couldn’t
fathom a world without here there. Without her Monday night dinners and her
smile as he would walk through her store. Sitting forward he hung his head low
and felt the tears start to roll down his cheeks.

The minute Lena stepped in the room
she could feel the sorrow. This was a feeling she knew intimately. Looking
around the dark condo she spotted him on the couch hunched over with his arms
resting on his knees and his head hanging down. She placed her bag on the floor
and walked over to him coming to a stop at the end of the couch He looked up at
her and she felt her heart break in two. His face was streaked with tears and
his eyes were swollen from what looked like hours of crying, although she knew
it’d only been around thirty minutes.

Not knowing what to say and feeling
her own eyes start to fill with tears she said nothing, and just sat down
beside him holding out her hand. Reaching over he took it in his and squeezed
then proceeded to cry into the night. The pure anguish coming from within him
was so strong Lena felt it pulsing off him in waves and crashing into her
almost knocking her over. She too had lost a loved one tonight. True, Catherine
wasn't her mother, but she’d become such an important part of her life she was
almost as important as a parent, but this moment was his. She needed to be
there to support him in this loss. So she sat beside him quietly, with as much
courage as she could find, when everything inside her was screaming to run.

 Finally after what seemed
like an eternity he turned in the chair and faced her. He reached up wiped his
eyes and sniffed as he let go of her hand. Swallowing deeply he took a breath
and spoke.

"She was at the shop."

Reaching out Lena stroked her
fingers down his cheek then took her hand back to her lap.

"Oh Mason. I'm so sorry. I
don't even know what to say or where to begin."

He nodded as though he understood
and blinked wet eyes at her. He turned and stood walking over to the large
window overlooking the park. The lights twinkled below and Lena was taken back
for a moment, to a night where he’d helped her forget her troubles right here
by the window. Tonight though, there was nothing that could help this. She
stood and walked up beside him placing a hand gently on his arm and stared out
at the lights. Still looking forward he spoke softly.

"They said at the hospital
that she knew her heart was weak. She knew after her first heart attack that
this could happen and she never said a thing."

"I know." Lena whispered
before she’d even thought it through. Suddenly she felt the arm under her hand
tense and then watched in the window's reflection as Mason turned toward her
and asked very softly.

"What do you mean,
you know
?"

Turning to face him she went to
reach out and he took a step back, something he’d
never
done before.
Dropping her hand to her side she started to explain. "I looked in her
chart when she was in hospital."

He didn't seem to like that
explanation by the narrowing of his eyes, and the pure animosity he was
directing at her was making her uncomfortable. She’d never seen Mason really
loose his temper and although they’d argued back and forward over things the
anger radiating from him felt different. He looked so removed she was almost
frightened, but she continued, needing him to know everything.

"She also spoke to me about it
one night at her house."

"What?" he demanded.

Lena rushed on, "I urged her to
tell you Mason. Both you and Rachel. I told her it would be easier to know
there may be a chance of,"

"Wait a minute," he
interrupted in an icy cold voice. "You're telling me that you and
my
mother
talked about her dying and didn't think to include her kids?"

Lena swallowed and gripped her
hands in front of her, not really knowing how to handle him at this point. So
she decided her best bet was to just answer him. "Yes."

She watched as he clenched his
teeth and his jaw flexed. He raised a hand and rubbed it over his eyes. Turning
back to look out the window he dropped the hand back down and whispered in the
coldest tone she’d ever heard. "Get out."

Lena felt like he had reached out
and slapped her. She winced at his words and swallowed. She moved to take a
step forward. "Mason."

"Don't touch me." he said
enunciating every word. "Go get your bag and get out."

"Please let me,"

"Let you what?" he
demanded spinning around to face her. She took a step back looking up at him
with tears running down her own cheeks, but he was beyond reason and beyond
caring. "Lie to me? Hide things from me?" Shaking his head he spat
out, "I'm so fucking stupid! I thought you trusted me. I thought you felt
the same way about me as I do about you!"

She tried again to reach out but he
just glared at her.

"I thought you fucking loved
me!"

She flinched back and took a step
away feeling everything inside her come crashing down. Tears flowed freely from
her now. Tears for Catherine, her sudden death and the unfairness of it. Tears
for Mason who was so hurt he couldn't even stand in front of her and
understand, and tears for them. For what could’ve been before it was torn away
and she’d even been able to tell him what he meant to her.

"Why are you still here Lena?
Get out!"

Turning she ran to the door and
grabbed her keys, fumbling around with the handle she finally got it opened and
turned back to see him facing the window. She let out a strangled sob and fled
his condo.

Mason was livid. He couldn't believe
what Lena had just told him and although he was still in the middle of even
beginning to understand his grief, this anger felt good. It felt easier to take
a hold of and to drown in.

Staring out the window he saw Lena
crossing the street below and he clenched his teeth remembering her words,
I
know
. Two little words and his whole world had fallen apart.
How could
she have not told him? How could she have kept something like that a secret?
If only he had known. If he had known he could've. Could've what?
He
thought, and then before deciding there would’ve been nothing he could have
done, he went back to his anger.

She was wrong. She’d fucked up and
done something so tragically wrong he didn't think he could ever forgive her
and with the way he felt right now he honestly never wanted to see her again.
He pushed aside her face and the pain he’d seen on it when he’d told her to
leave, and refused to feel sorry for her. He had other things he needed to do,
other people to think about. Bringing a hand up to his face he turned and
walked to the phone knowing the next thing would be the hardest.

He needed to call Rachel over in
Italy and tell her to get on a plane and come home, and she was going to want
to know why, and he would tell her, and then she would spend eight hours on an
airplane in agony and alone.

The next day Lena was still curled
up in her bedroom. She’d called in sick and decided to stay home. Away from
questions, away from people and away from Shelly. He hadn't called. For some
reason she’d thought he would, but he hadn't. She was starting to realize that
he’d meant every word he’d said to her last night. At first she’d thought it
was the grief talking, after all she’d literally wandered the streets after
Carly's death, until Catherine had taken her in. That was not the case though,
she was now coming to understand. Mason really had broken up with her. He had
cut all ties, she knew that because she’d tried calling his phone only to
discover it had been disconnected. Rolling over in her bed she squeezed her
eyes shut and cried again, she was starting to wonder if she would ever stop.

M
ason was trying really hard to hold it
altogether. He was standing by Rachel and on the other side of him was Wendy
and her husband. Everyone else was just a blur. In front of him was a dark
mahogany casket that was covered in bright tulips of every shade. He’d picked
them because they were his mother's favorite and the wood of the casket was
what she would’ve wanted. She had always commented on the bar in his restaurant
and how lovely and smooth the wood had felt under her hands.

He felt Rachel squeeze his fingers
as the minister started the service. Mason's eyes stayed on the flowers the
whole time. He couldn't bare to look at anyone else, he didn't want to feel
their pity or their sorrow, so he just focused on the tulips. He listened as
the minister spoke of what a wonderful and warm soul his mother had been and
how kind and open she was with everyone she met, which brought to mind Lena. He
pushed her out of his thoughts and gripped Rachel's hand harder.

It’d been a week now since he’d
told her to leave and he hadn't seen or heard from her and that had been the
longest stretch of time they’d been apart since they had started seeing one
another. Feeling Rachel sob and hearing the minister now give his mother over
to the earth he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her in tight, in
a way it was helping hold him together to hold her close. Finally the funeral
was over, and everyone was walking back to their cars to make their way to the
restaurant where they were holding a small gathering for friends and family.

"Do you want me to wait for
you?" Wendy asked looking over at him.

He shook his head and looked down
to Rachel, "No but can you take her back with you?"

She reached out and took Rachel's
hand in hers, "Sure. Come on hon."

He watched as they linked hands and
walked over to one of the remaining cars. When he was left standing next to the
fresh dirt he finally let himself cry again. He’d known he would but he’d
wanted to be strong the last few days for his sister, and to get the necessary
things done. His heart ached with the burden of things to come and the loss of
his beloved mother.

Shifting a little to the left he
caught some black out of the corner of his eye. Believing himself to still be
alone he was surprised when he turned to see Lena standing at the back of the
rows of chairs that had been lined up. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun
that sat low on her neck and she was wearing a long sleeve black dress that was
cut just below her knees. In her hand she held one sunflower and she stood
frozen to the spot. He couldn't see her eyes because they were covered by
sunglasses but he felt them on him, watching warily as though she wasn't sure
of the reception she would get.

Turning back without saying a word
he felt her move closer. It seemed like an eternity when he felt her finally
stop beside him. He didn't turn and didn't say anything so when she spoke he
was surprised.

"I know you don't want me
here." she paused as if waiting for him to confirm her statement, but he
could neither confirm or deny it, because he couldn't answer it himself.

"I just wanted to pay my
respects and bring her the one gift she has always given to me."

How could he possibly argue with
that?
He’d known Lena had shared a distant but loyal friendship with his
mother for years before becoming almost a part of their family. Watching her
bend down, to place the bright yellow sunflower on the brown dirt, he sucked in
a deep breath. He knew how hard it was for Lena to visit cemeteries. He knew
she didn't deal with death well, especially of loved ones. He knew that right
now his abandonment in the face of losing Catherine had to be killing her, but
there she was placing the flower down for his mother. He was about to say
something, he didn't know what, when she stood back up and faced him.

"I know you're angry at me but
I'll be here when you're ready."

Looking down at her he wanted to
tell her that may be never. How could he forgive her for not telling him his
own mother was sick? Instead he stayed silent and watched for the second time
as she walked away.

Three weeks passed and Lena found
herself going through the motions of living but deep down inside she felt as
though she were dead. Not only had she lost Catherine, who was probably the
only person in the world who had understood her before Mason, she had lost him
too. She hadn't heard anything from him, not a single word. Really she hadn't
expected to but knowing it and then living it were two totally different
things.

He was gone, Shelly would tell her,
you need to accept it and move on. Lena wanted to do just that, the problem
was, she didn't know how. Brushing past Brandy, who was already at her desk this
morning, Lena noticed she’d gone back to wincing whenever she looked at her.
For awhile there Brandy had smiled back, that was during the period of time she
now referred to as,
The Mason Period
. Slouching down in her chair she
opened her email and read one from McKinney about cocktail hour for
Thanksgiving, groaning Lena clicked it open and winced when she saw the
location, of course, 8pm at
Exquisite
.