Express Male (21 page)

So she made the most of it. Over and over, she sucked him deep into her mouth, then released him to treat him to the combined motions of her hand and her tongue. She loved the guttural sounds he emitted, the way his fingers convulsed in her hair, how his entire body succumbed to a few simple touches from her. Until he urged her away with the soft warning that if she didn’t stop, there wouldn’t be enough of him left to offer her the same courtesy.

She couldn’t have that. She wanted as much of Noah tonight as he would give her. She wanted all of him, quite frankly. But she knew better than to ask. For a man like him, that would be asking too much. Still, she would take anything—anything—he had to offer her.

He wrapped both hands around her wrists and pulled her to standing, then stood to finish removing his clothes and roll on a condom he had fished from his pocket. Marnie undressed as he did, then stretched out on her side in bed to watch him, her entire body humming as she noted the elegant motion of every muscle. When he was naked, too, Noah joined her in bed, lying alongside her, draping his heavy leg over both of hers, throwing his arm across her breasts. He covered her mouth with his and thrust his tongue inside, and for long moments only kissed her and kissed her and kissed her. Then he dragged his open mouth over her cheek and her jaw, down her throat, over her collarbone to her breast.

There he lingered, flattening his tongue over her nipple before drawing it into his mouth, deeply and insistently, the way she had sucked him inside her own. He covered her other breast with his hand, catching her nipple between the V of his index and middle fingers, scissoring gently to generate even more heat inside her. She maneuvered one leg over his strong thigh and rubbed herself against his leg, her hot center demanding as much attention as the rest of her had received.

Noah seemed to understand, because after a few more maddening flicks of his tongue against the lower curve of her breast, he was moving downward again, tasting the dent of her navel and the skin beneath. Then lower still, pushing open her legs as he ducked his head between them, running his tongue over the hot, wet flesh of her sex without a second’s hesitation.

It quickly became evident that he liked this part of sex very much. Because he licked and laved Marnie like a man possessed, devouring her with a fierceness that left her helpless to do anything but lie back and enjoy herself. He lapped leisurely with the flat of his tongue, then drew generous circles with the tip. He pushed his hands beneath her fanny and lifted her higher, driving his tongue into every fold of flesh, lingering at the sensitive little bud of her clitoris before diving lower, parting her with his thumbs so that he could penetrate her with his tongue. Over and over and over. Then he was using his finger to penetrate her, too, deeper now, slower, again and again and again.

With his hands in the action, an orgasm begin to shake her, starting low in her belly and shuddering outward. For long moments, her body quaked with her climax, until she cried out at its culmination and fairly melted into the sheets beneath her.

But before she’d even recovered, Noah launched himself inside her—deep,
deep
inside her. He lowered his body over hers, braced both elbows on the mattress on each side of her and thrust himself forward. Marnie bent her knees to facilitate his entrance, and he bucked his hips against her again. She cried out once more at the depth of his penetration, wrapping her fingers tight around his steely biceps. As he heaved himself forward, she circled his waist with her legs, pulling herself up to meet him.

Then he was crying out, too, thrusting one final time with enough force to lift Marnie off the mattress. For a long moment, they clung to each other, his body shuddering the way hers had before finally stilling as his climax ebbed. Then he was relaxing, falling to the bed beside her, one hand draped over her waist, the other arcing over her head.

And it was only in that moment that Marnie realized what a mistake she had made to invite Noah over tonight. Because she knew in that moment she would never make love to a man like him again. Worse, she would never
want
another man but him.

I
T WAS NEARLY
2:00 a.m. by the time they finally ate dinner. Without bothering to reheat it. Sitting naked in Marnie’s bed. She’d surprised Noah in a lot of ways tonight, but her complete lack of inhibition had been most surprising of all. He’d always been fairly adventurous in bed, had always thought there was no room for restrictions when it came to sex. But he hadn’t met many women who felt the same way. Marnie had not only been audacious in her lovemaking, she’d even taken the lead at times. Which was something else that had surprised him. Usually, he liked to be in charge in the bedroom. With Marnie, he’d had no qualms at all about relinquishing control. Mostly because doing so had resulted in a mind-blowing—among other things—climax.

Within minutes of stowing the remains of their dinner in the fridge and opening a second bottle of wine, they were back in bed, feasting on each other for dessert. But this time afterward, they seemed to be at least a little satisfied, and for a long time, only lay in each other’s arms, growing accustomed to each other’s presence and trying to get a handle on whatever was happening between them.

As if Noah thought he’d ever get a handle on that.

Finally, Marnie pushed herself up on one elbow, settling one hand on his chest and anchoring her head with the other. Her silky hair tumbled over her naked shoulders and breasts, both concealing and revealing the even silkier skin beneath. He wished she would wear her hair like that all the time. Of course, that would necessitate her being naked all the time. Not that there was anything wrong with that….

He didn’t think he’d ever seen a more beautiful woman. And he knew he’d never enjoyed more explosive, more potent sex. What was really strange was how comfortable he felt in Marnie’s bed. Normally, once sex with a woman was over, Noah didn’t like to hang around. That was the reason he preferred hotels instead of going to a woman’s home. And he
never
brought a woman to his own house. Houses—homes—were too suggestive of permanence, of family, of intimacy. And Noah had never wanted any of those things with a woman.

Yet Marnie’s house was the worst for all of them. She had deep roots here. Memories of her entire life with the only family she’d ever known. The house oozed love and affection and tenderness. Her girly-girl bedroom alone should have had him running screaming in horror, his hands cupped protectively over his manhood. Instead, he found himself wanting to pull her closer and cover their bodies with the bedclothes, and burrow there for days.

A ribbon of some strange, unfamiliar emotion unfurled inside him, seeping into parts of him he hadn’t even realized he could feel. His heart seemed to beat more slowly, and his blood seemed to flow more comfortably. Worry, fear, anxiety, all slipped away, to be replaced by well-being, fondness, affirmation. He finally recognized the feeling as satisfaction. Not the physical satisfaction a man felt after the completion of sex, but an almost unearthly, soul-deep satisfaction that all was right in the world.

Which was nuts. He knew better than anyone that the world was one seriously mucked up place. But here with Marnie, in her too-cozy bed, in her too-cozy bedroom, in her too-cozy house, he felt nothing in his life—or anyone else’s—would ever go wrong again.

Until she said, in a sober voice, “I need to ask you a question.”

Something about the way she said it made that agreeable ribbon inside him begin to curl up tight. He ignored the sensation as best he could and met her gaze. “All right.”

“It’s a very important question,” she said.

He lifted a hand and touched it to her hair, letting it drape over his fingers before pushing it carefully back over her shoulder to completely reveal her naked breast.

“Okay.”

“It’s a question I need for you to answer honestly,” she added.

He skimmed the back of his knuckles along the line of the collarbone he had uncovered, then down over the top of her breast. “That sounds kind of ominous.”

“Not ominous,” she said. “Serious.”

But there was a catch in her voice, and he knew she was as affected by his seemingly careless touches as he was himself. He was trying to be serious, really he was. She was just so beautiful, so irresistible, he couldn’t help himself. He turned his hand so that his palm was touching her and dragged it down more, over her nipple to the underside of her breast, which he caught in a gentle grip.

“Noah,” she said on a half groan. “Please. I mean it. This is an important question.”

Still cradling her soft flesh in his hand, he told her, “Then I guess you better ask it.”

“And you’ll answer honestly?”

He nodded.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

She’d settled her hand over the middle of his chest, her palm pressed to his flesh as if she were trying to gauge every heartbeat. She fixed her gaze on his, her eyebrows knitting downward. Very quietly, very somberly, she asked, “Were you and Lila lovers?”

“No,” he replied immediately, honestly.

She closed her eyes, and expelled a long, lusty sigh of relief.

“But she and I had sex,” he added, likewise honestly. If Marnie were any other woman, he could have lied to her effortlessly and without an ounce of remorse. But Marnie wasn’t any other woman. That, if nothing else, had become clear tonight. And not only was Noah
unable
to lie to her, but he didn’t
want
to lie to her. Which, he supposed, was the most surprising thing of all.

Her eyes snapped open, darkened by confusion. “But you said—”

“I said Lila and I weren’t lovers,” he repeated. “What happened between us had nothing to do with love. It just…happened.”

She narrowed her eyes. “How many times?”

“Once,” he replied, again quickly and honestly.

“A one-night stand?”

“It really wasn’t even that,” he said. And really, it hadn’t been. It had just been…sex. A physical demonstration of profound relief that had come on the heels of a very dangerous situation. A way to work off an excess of adrenaline and rejoice in being alive. Had Lila been a man, Noah probably would have wrapped an arm around his shoulder and gone in search of a good bar fight with him. But because she was a woman—a very sexual woman, much like her sister—he’d put an arm around her shoulder and something else had happened instead.

Not that he wanted to dump the blame for that night on Lila, because he’d responded to her with equal need, equal hunger. But that was the point. It had been need and hunger. Physical need. Physical hunger. It hadn’t been…anything else.

At least, he hadn’t thought so at the time. But over the years since, there had been times when Noah wondered if maybe there had been more to it than he allowed himself to concede. There had been times when he’d seen Lila afterward when he’d felt…strange. About her. About himself. About what had happened. And he’d wondered if that strange feeling had been affection. Or something.

Eventually, though, he’d made himself stop thinking about it. He’d been promoted again and moved to Cleveland, and Lila had been assigned to report to someone else. It had been years since Noah had seen her. Years since he’d given her any thought. But since her disappearance five months ago, he’d found himself thinking about Lila a lot. Inescapably, those thoughts had included memories of that night. And inescapably, he’d begun to wonder again just what that night had been.

Seeing Marnie dressed like Lila, looking so much like her, had only confused him even more, since his response to her had been so quick and so profound. Because although she looked exactly like her sister, she wasn’t like Lila at all. And Noah just wasn’t sure if his response had been for Marnie or for Lila. Nor was he sure if it was just physical or…something else.

He’d hoped tonight might clear that up. Had hoped that by having sex with Marnie, he’d be able to identify the source of his response to her. Instead, he was more confused than ever.

“Will you tell me what happened?” she said, stirring him from his troubling thoughts.

He’d really hoped she wouldn’t ask him that. He just wasn’t sure he could explain that night in a way that would make any sense. Even if he understood it himself. If Marnie had known Lila, it would have been easier. But trying to explain Lila to someone who’d never met her was like trying to describe fire to a piece of wood. While the wood was on fire.

Then again, it probably wasn’t Lila’s motivation that night that Marnie most wanted to know about. And like so much else, Noah wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

So, “Long story short,” he began.

Marnie shook her head. “No. I want the long version.”

Noah bristled at that. She was within her rights to ask about his relationship with Lila. She wasn’t within her rights to have an answer that involved more than he wanted to give her. In spite of the heat the two of them had generated together, he and Marnie didn’t have a personal relationship. They’d both known the reason for being here tonight was to have sex. Period. Neither was looking any further into the future than getting to work in the morning and being halfway coherent enough to do their jobs. Neither owed the other anything but physical gratification. Marnie had definitely given him that. And, all modesty aside, Noah knew he’d fulfilled his part of the bargain very well.