Exposure (26 page)

Whether pushing limits or just making love,
there was always a fever, a need. He was patient and understanding.
History told her their heat would cool over time. Except the desire
wasn't waning or depleting, as she'd expected. He still wanted her
just as much as their first night together.

Hope bloomed in her chest. She'd always
trusted him and the attraction was obviously there. Because of him,
she'd experienced unimaginable pleasure. Normal was possible now.
Every time he touched her, she fell deeper and deeper for him. Not
just the idea of a relationship, but theirs. Them, together.

It was exciting and frightening. Beautiful
and scarred.

She tested the binding around her wrists,
cinched above her head, still loose enough for her to escape. But
she didn't want to escape him. The blindfold took away the ability
to see what he would do, but she wasn't afraid. Not of him. Her
heart pumped hard and fast in anticipation, knowing he'd bring her
to the brink and they'd plunge together.

The situation forced her other senses to
kick in. His scent of cinnamon and arousal was strong. The heat
from his body enveloped her. His breathing was slow, measured, as
if forcing himself into control. He still straddled her hips, but
no weight fell on her as he held himself above her body. She ached
for him to touch, the apex of her thighs throbbing.

His lips brushed across hers, feather light
and warm. "I love you, Raven."

She stilled, trying to process how she felt
hearing the words. He'd told her before, but not using that actual
phrasing. At the time, a surge of happiness and trepidation shoved
around in her chest. He'd told her not to say it back unless she
meant it, that he'd wait. The words were on the tip of her tongue.
She did love him, was quickly falling in love with him, yet
something held her just over that edge, not ready to plummet.
Suspended in air.

I love you.

The warm whisper of his words caressed her.
She shivered, liking the way his emphatic voice rang true. Noah
didn't throw words around, didn't say things he didn't mean. Her
heart beat faster.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he closed
his lips over hers. He kissed her with determination and purpose,
as if needing her to believe him. Stroking his tongue with hers, he
commanded submission, not of her body, but her heart. She gave him
all she could.

He broke away to speak against her mouth. "I
love you so goddamn much I can't think, I can't breathe unless
you're near me. You have me, all of me. Don't give up on us."
Tension coiled his muscles when he eased his body down to hers.

All at once, like a blow to the chest, she
realized just how scared he must've been back at the gallery
tonight. He feared losing her to herself and to the man senselessly
after them. She'd been numb with shock until he'd put the
restraints on her wrists and the blindfold over her eyes. He'd had
to take her sight away for her to see him.

Wanting to touch him, to soothe the worry,
she made to slip out of the binding, but his hand pressed down over
hers, stopping her attempt.

"Please, Raven." His tone was quiet,
desperate. He rested his forehead to hers and sighed.

She forced a swallow. "I'm not giving up on
us. I'm here."

He stilled for a moment, as if absorbing her
words.

When he shifted, the light dusting of hair
on his chest rasped her nipples. Heat flared over her skin. She
drew in a breath, biting her lip. With his hands at her sides, he
kissed her cheeks, her mouth, then her neck. His tongue traced a
path from her shoulder to her collarbone. She shivered. Moaned.

"You like that, baby?" When she nodded,
unable to speak, he said, "Where to next?" His fingers inched down
to race circles on her breasts, the coarseness of his skin
deliciously contrasting hers.

She'd never been so grateful for an
outdoorsman who worked with his hands. The artistic side of him
seemed to know where to draw the most response.

"My baby likes that." His fingers circled
closer to her nipples, but never quite reached where she needed him
most. "Would you like me to touch them?"

"Yes," she moaned.

The pads of his thumbs brushed over her
erect peaks. His breathing grew as ragged as hers. Without being
able to move, to see, every touch was heightened, setting her on
fire. She arched, the air trapping in her chest.

He shifted, sliding down her body to kneel
between her thighs. So frustratingly good. His fingers moved lower,
over her naval and grabbed her hips. Then he paused, and she
imagined he was staring at her with that intense expression of
hunger. She grew more wet, the slight chill in the room drifting
over her drenched folds.

Without warning, he ran his finger over her
clit. She cried out, but he was moving down, over her sex, not
staying where she ached for him. Lower yet his finger moved, to the
tight ring of her puckered hole. He rotated his finger, massaging,
but not penetrating. A nervousness she was unaccustomed to feeling
charged, sending trembles of need straight to her core. She gasped,
pressing down on him. Heat flared.

"Soon, I'll take you right here. Do you want
that?" His voice was hoarse, tight. She loved him like this, when
he was all consumed with her, with need.

She thought about his question and decided
she did want him there, where no man had attempted to take her. He
was large, so they'd have to go slow, but Noah would know that.
Knew her. Biting her lip, she nodded.

He groaned, palms spreading her thighs
wider. "Not tonight, baby. Soon."

Shifting, he eased next to her on the bed
and encouraged her to turn on her side away from him. He pulled her
back to his front, and the binding around her wrist tightened.
Taking stock, she realized it wasn't painful and relaxed.

Nuzzling her hair, he ran his hand up her
waist, her arm, to her bound wrists. His erection pressed between
her cheeks, rocking into her. She pressed back, the desire for him
so high that frustration mounted. As if sensing her need, he
splayed his hand over her belly and moved south.

"Yes." She spread her legs.

He positioned his thigh between hers and
opened her folds with his fingers. "This what you like, baby?"

She nodded. He removed his fingers. But the
whimper died in her throat. He aligned himself with her opening,
wetting the soft crown before plunging all the way inside. Her
walls clamped around him, trying to draw him deeper.

He thrust from behind, his pelvis slapping
against her ass. She choked out a gasp, arching her back. Cradling
her to him, he pumped in a steady rhythm that drove her insane.
Unhurried, so that every glide of his shaft filled her more and
more. It wasn't the frantic pace he'd set before. It was a slow
build. Tension knotted her muscles, seeking release.

Just as she was about to beg, to cry for
mercy, he pressed a finger to her clit and she exploded. Lights
burst behind her lids. The binds on her wrists cinched as she
shuddered. Air trapped in her lungs. Tucking her chin, she screamed
his name as wave after wave unfurled through her. He soon followed,
pumping twice more before going rigid. Mouth wide on her shoulder,
he roared through his orgasm.

She was still trembling when his shallow
thrusts ceased. He moved behind her, stretching. A hand came down
over her wrists and released the tie, freeing her. He lifted the
other from her eyes.

Then, without a word, he drew his arms
around her and hauled her closer, as if wanting to crawl inside
her. He wrapped his leg around hers, caging her in. He didn't seem
to breathe for several moments, until finally, he relaxed his vise
and nuzzled his face in her hair.

***

B
y the time Monday
rolled around, Noah seemed to have a tangible hold on his rioting
emotions and could at least look at Raven without remembering Max
shoving her to the floor. Most of the time. They'd stayed the
weekend and hung out with Aubrey, decompressing. Raven's gallery
was still in lockdown until the forensics team was through, so Noah
did some work from his laptop at home to keep her company. They'd
called the hospital to check on Max about fifty times per Raven's
request, and their bodyguard was recuperating nicely. McCannon
thought it unwise to visit the hospital until they could get more
on Soreno. Max was set to be released today anyway.

From the kitchen alcove, Noah eyed Raven
pushing her dinner around her plate, having barely eaten any of the
baked chicken she'd made. She'd been quiet most of the day, too,
only speaking when asked a direct question.

After they'd made love at the castle, she
appeared to relax, but now he was worried about her depression. For
years, she'd fought it, winning. She was the strongest damn person
he knew. But that didn't mean he couldn't be concerned. It was like
she'd crawled inside him, where every action, thought, or mood
resounded through him, so that he was right there with her. Stupid
as it sounded, they felt like one damn person. As her best friend,
he'd known how to reach her when she'd gone dark, but as her lover,
he had no idea if he was holding on too tight.

He set his fork down, losing his appetite.
"What's on your mind, Raven?"

Her lips twisted in thought. She picked up
her wine and took a sip before answering. "Do you want to get
married?"

Forcing the wine past his throat, he set the
glass down before he dropped it. "Was that a proposal?"

Smiling, she closed her eyes and shook her
head. "I mean in the general sense. You never struck me as a
forever guy." Her gaze leveled on him. "We haven't discussed…the
future. You said you wanted us to stick, but…"

"But you don't know what that entails." He
nodded, the clamp around his chest easing. Raven was a planner by
nature, always needing to know what came next. The organizational
side of her, the one that needed control in all things, had to be
going batshit inside her skull. Neither of them had been in a long
term relationship. She didn't know what to do, and it was obviously
making her crazy.

Leaning forward, he took her hand, linking
their fingers. "I'm not against the idea. I love you, and I can't
stand the thought of this ending, so marriage seems like the next
logical step. But we don't need to rush things." Hell, she hadn't
even said she loved him back yet.

Staring at their linked fingers, she sighed.
"What about kids? Do you…want them?" This particular question had
her the most worried, because she wouldn't look him in the eye and
she didn't seem to be breathing.

He thought hard over his answer because this
wasn't a conversation to have in passing. Aubrey had been his whole
world. He loved her as a father might, putting her needs before his
own. The situation may have been forced on him, yet he wouldn't
take back the decision.

But to have his own children? He'd never
entertained the idea. At once, an image of Raven came to mind,
belly swollen with his child. Fraternal desire kicked him hard in
the ribs as he imagined a little boy or girl, with her dark hair
and chocolate eyes.

He swiped a hand down his face. "Yeah," he
grated. "I think I do." He met her gaze. "Again, not something we
need to decide right now. After the trial, we'll have to get Aubrey
settled and we can discuss it more." He couldn't read her reaction,
but when she opened her mouth to speak, he instinctively cut her
off. "Here's the thing, Raven. All I want, all I really want, is
you. Whether that's as my wife, mother of my child, or just a life
partner, I don't care."

Her eyes widened a fraction. "Noah, you
can't give up on what you want, even if those plans don't include
me--"

"I don't make plans that don't include
you."

She seemed stressed over his remark as she
pulled her hand away, her brows wrinkling and gaze darting
away.

"Let me ask you this. Do you want marriage
and kids?" Because something made her think about it enough to
bring it up.

"I don't know." She pressed her hand to her
forehead. "Three months ago, I would've said no. It's just…"

"Just what, baby?"

"I guess I…" She slapped a hand down on the
table and huffed. "This is going to sound so stupid, but I don't
feel like I have anything that's mine." Her gaze met his, shining
with unshed tears. "Everything is up in the air. My apartment is
gone, and this is your home. There are people who want you dead.
Want me dead. I can't go to the gallery."

Hell. This he could handle. Relief had him
expelling a breath. Her freak out had nothing to do with them. The
circumstances around them weren't giving her any power.

He dipped his head, forcing her to look at
him. "Closing arguments in the Rizzoli trial are this week. It's
almost over. McCannon will find Soreno and we won't need so many
guards. The police should be done with Elements by tomorrow. And…"
As he trailed off, he took her hand in his again. "We'll go house
hunting this week. Find us something that's ours."

They'd need to anyway after the trial
because of Aubrey. They'd still have the castle, but his condo was
no place for her. She needed a home. So did Raven. A place to start
over.

Raven stared at him so long his heart
stopped beating with worry. Her face was an unreadable mask, until
eventually something clicked and her eyes rounded. A myriad of
flickering emotions hit her expression, there and gone too fast for
him to keep up. Pain. Joy. Fear. Nerves. Concern. Happy.
Resolution.

He involuntarily squeezed her fingers and
forced himself to relax. "What, Raven? Just tell me and we'll
deal--"

"I wouldn't say no if you asked." Her tone
was confident, if not a little distant, as if she was still trying
to wrap her mind around something.

He shook his head, not connecting the
dots.