Exposing Alix (19 page)

He groaned and flipped her over so their bodies aligned,
his hardness searing the space at the juncture of her thighs.

Dual, competing sensations of glorious pleasure and aching
regret seized her. Was this what her vow had come to? A couple of weeks with a
handsome movie star and she was ready to throw it all away?

She held her breath, heart pounding. Vow be dammed. She couldn’t
push him away.

But he didn’t make the move she feared. He simply rocked
against her, the tip of him rubbing against her clitoris.

“Don’t worry,” he said, as if he understood exactly how
she felt. “I just want to feel you.”

Mutely, she nodded, letting her body float away from his
for a second. He caught her hips, pulled her back down against him. The water
kept their bodies in motion, the current pulling them up and apart and then
releasing them back into each other. It was unlike anything she’d experienced;
the force of the water was almost like a third person, with its own gentle
caress.

He reached between them and positioned his penis so it
would ride more perfectly between her legs. Her hips developed a mind of their
own, bucking and thrusting as if determined to force him inside.

Ryker’s arms tightened on her. He claimed her mouth, his
tongue taking her prisoner, showing her no mercy even while he stayed
mercifully still below. She could feel how much that control cost him, the
muscles in his buttocks and back tight and hard. She started to move her hand
lower, wanting to feel him like he felt her, but he grabbed her and pulled her
arms to her sides.

“Don’t,” he said, his voice rough.

With tiny, almost imperceptible movements, he began to
thrust his hips. He moved gently between her legs, rubbing against her clitoris
but never going deeper. The pleasure inside her built, sharper and more
powerful than anything she’d felt before, and a mix of fear and pleasure drove
her to a deep, low moan. Her entire body throbbed and burned. All her
convictions about sex and all her reasons to say no paled in comparison to the
driving, physical need.

“We can’t…” She gasped at the pleasure he was inflicting.

He held her hips against him. “I know. Trust me.”

A barrier inside her dissolved. She did trust him. However
crazy it was, she trusted him with everything she had.

She slid her legs apart and wrapped them around his hips,
feeling his cock sliding back and forth against her flesh. As vulnerable as she
was, Alix felt safe, sure he would protect them both from her irrational
behavior. He did, holding tightly to her hips and moving just inches, back and
forth.

He groaned into her neck. She pushed against him, feeling
herself drive toward the edge of orgasm, her clitoris burning and her hips
driving hard against him.

“Oh yes,” she moaned. “Please.”

He moved faster and harder, finally pulling away
completely and positioning himself higher, their bellies and hearts touching,
his cock resting against her stomach. She slid her body up and down, the
pressure landing precisely at the center of her pleasure. He gasped, and his
hands tightened reflexively. She felt herself tumbling toward a crescendo,
every muscle in her body tightening. Faster, harder, their muscles fought their
brains, their bodies dancing in a fury of control and passion.

And then she exploded, pleasure shooting from her groin to
her fingers and down to her toes. Alix and Ryker cried out at the same time,
his body shaking and seizing against her. Her body suffused with pleasure so
sharp and overwhelming she collapsed against him in sweet release.

When the shudders finally stopped
and her mind seemed once again in control of her body, Alix tentatively pulled
away from Ryker. Clumsily, she set her feet on the ground, was buffeted by a
wave, and fought to regain her balance. She couldn’t speak, didn’t want to ruin
the moment that felt so tenuous and fragile, so she started to slowly make her
way back toward shore.

Liquid warmth still pounded through her limbs, along with
a quiet, heavy feeling that left her wanting to relax back into the water’s
embrace. But the realization of what they’d almost done—what she wanted
to do—kept her moving, shock just beginning to settle over her shoulders.

Alix had never intended her celibacy to last so long. She
loved men’s bodies, their taste, smell, and heat. Even though her teenage years
had left deep scars, they hadn’t erased her need for physical contact. If she
hadn’t started photographing sex, she probably would have given up her vow long
ago.

But once she started watching couples in love, things
changed. She’d discovered that for her subjects, the moment of climax
demonstrated vulnerability, caring, and absolute surrender. It was
beautiful—and terrifying. In the past, she’d released that vulnerability
to the wrong person, over and over again. She’d known the devastation that came
when they turned away, minutes after climax, to smoke a cigarette and turn on
the TV. She’d shed all her defenses and barriers for men who didn’t care, and
it cost her her pride, her self-respect, and almost her life.

Yet somehow, Ryker Valentine had convinced her body to
open when life had taught her to keep it closed. She wanted, even now, to let
him bury himself inside her, even though she knew with absolute certainty that
he wouldn’t be doing it because of anything other than lust.

Her thoughts spinning, she forced herself to put one foot
in front of the other until she was splashing through the shallow water back
onto the shore. Ryker broke through the water behind her. Without looking in
her direction, he grabbed her hand and gently squeezed.

It was absurd, but that gesture soothed the torrent of
thoughts cascading through her mind. Perhaps she wasn’t entirely crazy. Perhaps
there was something more to him than desire. Perhaps her body was responding to
something he would never have admitted he felt. Unlikely, of course, but even
the thought that he understood, on some level, how intense this moment was,
meant something to her.

Gratefully, she squeezed back.

They walked to their clothes in silence. He handed her his
shirt. “You should dry off.” His voice was low, gravelly, as if it hadn’t been
used for a long time.

She wiped the smooth cotton across her breasts and belly,
and then handed it back. It smelled like him—spicy and masculine.
Impossible to define.

The air had turned cool, and goose bumps stood out on
Alix’s arms and legs as she slid Maria’s clothes over her damp skin. She
shivered and wrapped her arms around her waist.

“You’re chilled. We should get inside,” Ryker said.

That was when the first note of panic pierced the sensual
haze that lingered in her mind. Inside? Inside meant his house, and his house
meant his bed, which meant…

“Ryker, I need to get back to my hotel,” she said.

He touched her cheek briefly with the back of his hand, a
careless, intimate gesture that had her resolve melting in an instant. “Why
ever would you do a thing like that,” he breathed, placing a kiss close to her
ear. “When there’s a bed right upstairs?”

Alix closed her eyes and shook her head. She should tell
him now, again, that she wasn’t going to sleep with him. Reassert herself. Make
her intentions plain.

But what were her intentions? Hadn’t she just opened her
legs, in the most literal of ways, to this man?

He doesn’t care about you, her mind screamed.

Or did he? Did some part of him care?

“I didn’t mean that to happen,” she blurted out. “It
doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a tease. I really like
you, but I’m not going to sleep with you.”

Ryker stopped. A frustrated sigh emerged from tight lips.
“I don’t mean to question you, but why the hell not? I mean, I understand being
safe. God knows I get myself tested and make sure I don’t spread any little
Rykers around. But after what happened out there”—he gestured toward the
water—“is sex all that different?” He laughed a trifle nervously. “You
aren’t a virgin, are you?”

“No,” she said quietly. “I’m not. But I decided a long
time ago that casual sex was off-limits. For reasons I can’t really explain.”

He studied her silently. After an interminable pause, he
shrugged. “Fine.”

“Fine? What does that mean?”

“It means fine. We won’t have sex. I can handle that. I
like you, Alix, and we’re finally making some progress with the movie. I’d hate
to do anything that would jeopardize that. So we might as well decide now to
leave the sex out of the picture. It will make things easier down the road.”

She didn’t like the way her heart dropped at the casual
way he had agreed with her. “And,” she said slowly, “we pretend this night
never happened?”

Ryker shook his head. He leaned forward and took her
breath away with a kiss as thorough and intense as any she had ever
experienced. “Oh no. I’m not forgetting anything.”

He headed toward the house. She blinked and watched him
go, unable to move, thanks to the rush of desire that turned her legs to jelly.

The sand squeaked under her feet as she struggled to catch
up with him. “Ryker! Ryker, you bastard, what the hell is that supposed to
mean?”

He started up the multi-tiered stairway back to his house.
She was a few feet behind when she heard the first chuckle.

“You can’t just kiss me and then walk away like that, you
know,” Alix demanded. “We’ve got to settle this thing between us.”

He laughed again.

She started to seethe. “We aren’t going to do this again,
right? You agree?”

“Alix,” he said, his voice thick with laughter, “you are
an original. You know that, don’t you?”

“Don’t you patronize me! I’m serious. You touch me again,
and I’m out of here. Got it?”

“Whatever you say. Now hurry up; tomorrow’s going to be a
busy day.”

#

Lena glared at the tiny dictator she had come to hate over
the past two weeks. Alix Z stood in the far corner of the set, busily setting
herself to fade into the background as the cameras were positioned for another
take. She didn’t sit in a chair beside Ryker, prominently displayed in the
center of the room. She didn’t follow the cameras with her viewfinder and
mumble under her breath or swear when the scene didn’t go as she pleased.

Sometimes you would forget she was there for minutes at a
time.

But then she’d resurface, like a damned ghost, and whisper
something in your ear. “Caress him, Salva,” she’d say, “don’t stroke,
caress
…”
Or, “yield to him, Salva. You keep fighting and seducing. It’s time to
yield
.”
It was like having a sexual Jiminy Cricket on your shoulder, telling you
exactly what you already knew you should be doing.

And her eyes, they were so…knowing. She looked at Lena and
then looked at Jake, and Lena had the painful feeling that she was being
watched from the inside out.

Jake was eating it up, the bastard. He’d spent the two
weeks mooning around after her, lapping up her direction like she was Steven
freaking Spielberg. But of course Alix had nice things to say to him. When she
whispered in his ear, it was only to ask him for more. More inner struggle.
More suspicion. Lena, on the other hand, never seemed to get it right.

“One more time,” Ryker called. “From the top. It’s getting
better, but we’re still not there. Lena, you know what we need, and we’re going
to keep shooting until we get it.”

Lena wanted to scream. Of course, Ryker wasn’t happy with
her. He hadn’t been happy for weeks, so that was nothing new. Having Alix there
hadn’t changed a thing. He still wanted to blame anything that went wrong on
Lena.

But there was something different about him today. He kept
giving Alix these moony, steamy looks when he didn’t think anyone was watching.
Something had happened between the two of them the night before, Lena would
bet. Hard to believe, but looks like that didn’t lie.

Well, they could screw like bunnies, for all she cared.
Maybe that would get Ryker off her back.

“Ryker, we’ve got a hair in the gate on the A Camera,”
Frank called. “I need a few minutes.”

Ryker glared at him. The gate was the opening on the
camera where the film was exposed to light. A hair on the gate meant that a
dark line would be visible on any film they shot until the gate was cleaned.
“All right, short break everyone.”

Lena sighed with relief. She eyed the piles of food on the
back table, her gaze lingering on the glazed donuts, and waged a brief inner
struggle. Black coffee, she decided, would have to do.

“Lena, why don’t you come for a little walk with me?” Alix
appeared at Lena’s side without making a sound.

Lena jumped. “What are you, some kind of witch?”

“Sorry,” Alix replied, corners of her mouth turned down in
a rueful smile, “it’s a habit I picked up from working weddings. They don’t
like it when the photographer is louder than the priest.”

“Sure, whatever. I suppose it is stuffy in here.” Lena
grabbed her purse without waiting for Alix to follow. She pounded across the
soundstage to the exterior door. The sun was almost directly overhead, and she
immediately wished she had her sunglasses. She began to pace up and down the
concrete path. It had been three years since she’d had a cigarette, but the
desire to smoke had been burning a hole in her gut ever since she’d started
this damned movie.

She pulled a stick of gum from her purse and began to chew
vigorously.

“Tell me, Lena, how many movies have you made?” Alix
asked. She leaned against the building, her loose jeans sliding down somewhere
near her hips. She wore a thin blue T-shirt that clung to her generous breasts.
Alix had one of those curvy bodies that looked like crap on the screen but in
real life, men seemed to like. Or at least, they like to screw. Who knew what
men really liked. Jake’s little tramp had had a body like that. Back then, he’d
always told Lena she was too skinny. But he knew as well as she did that
gaining weight wasn’t an option. Not if she wanted to keep making movies.