Expecting...in Texas (15 page)

“Mine and the doctors who’d be treating me after I collapsed from exhaustion,” Savannah added dryly.

He was right, of course. It was her business. Hers and his. But she wasn’t the type to live in a vacuum, and other people’s opinions did matter. At least, the opinions of people she liked.

Ruben had already been up for hours and was hard at work when he saw his son and Savannah ride in. Pausing, he smiled to himself as he watched them approach.

They looked good together, he thought, she with her hair the color of sun-kissed gold and he with his the color of midnight. Their children would be beautiful when they came.

All that was needed was for his son to open his eyes and see what was in front of him for the taking. Not dreams that might not happen, but reality that could.

Even from where she was, Savannah could see a wide smile lifting Ruben’s features, making him look younger. She could detect a little of Cruz in the older man, or was that the other way around?

Ruben said nothing to them, only nodded. But Savannah had the definite impression that he was pleased to see them together.

It was a far cry from the way her parents would have reacted had they seen her with Cruz. Though there was no outward display of affection from them, she was their daughter, and thus, in their eyes, an extension of them—of the family name. Certain things were not permitted and were severely frowned on. That included fraternizing with the help.

The word
fraternizing
made her smile briefly.

Because of her parents, she understood Cruz’s feelings about being prejudged and found lacking simply because of an accident of birth. She had known people like that, lived with people like that. People who judged others by family tree, by station, by the size of a bank account or an address, rather than by the only thing that mattered: their true inner worth.

But she was not her parents’ daughter in anything but genetic composition. She had her own rules, her own heart to follow.

Except this time, Savannah thought. She couldn’t go where her heart wanted her to.

Aside from a nod in greeting, Cruz said nothing to his father as he dismounted. He looked at Savannah. “Maybe I’ll see you later.” He stepped
back as she dismounted, then took the reins from her hand. “I’ll take care of the horse. You go on.”

She’d already told him that she was late for work, and Cruz didn’t want her getting into trouble on his account. It was his fault they were as late as they were, he thought. And hers for being so damn desirable. She’d spurred him on to a greater level of endurance and performance than he’d ever dreamed of achieving. There was something about the woman that left him forever wanting more.

And that wasn’t good.

Savannah nodded her thanks as she surrendered Pixie Dust’s reins. She made no response to his comment about seeing her later. Though he had been the one to say it, she felt it was probably just a throwaway line. She didn’t want to seem as if she were eager to be with him again.

Right
. As if the man couldn’t have guessed from what had happened last night and this morning, Savannah thought sarcastically. An idiot would have been able to figure that out, and Cruz was far from stupid.

If only…

There was and would be no “if only,” and she was just going to have to make her peace with that, Savannah upbraided herself. The fact that she now knew she was in love with him only strengthened her resolve not to marry Cruz and ruin his life.

Though it might never even be mentioned, Cruz would never forgive her for that, and neither would she.

Without a backward glance, she hurried away from him and toward the house.

There was a moving van parked in the driveway. The driver, a short, well-muscled man, was just loading something in through the rear doors as she approached. Devin’s car was parked several feet in front of the van. Behind his car was the one that Vanessa drove.

Realizing just how late she was, Savannah hurried into the house and almost collided with Vanessa.

Vanessa grabbed both Savannah’s hands to steady her. “So there you are, finally,” she declared, breathless from running around. “Out for an early morning ride?”

Savannah started to correct the lie, then decided to leave it alone. There was no point in telling Vanessa that she’d spent the night with Cruz. Vanessa wouldn’t understand how she could do that and still refuse to marry him. It would make no sense to her friend.

Sometimes, Savannah thought, it barely made sense to her.

“It was so pretty this morning, after the storm,”
Savannah said evasively, leaving Vanessa to draw her own conclusions.

Seeming preoccupied, Vanessa nodded as her eyes swept over two large boxes that had yet to be loaded into the van. Turning, she smiled warmly at Savannah. “I didn’t want to go without saying goodbye.”

The word had such a final, dismissive sound to it. Savannah had never realized how much she hated it before. “Goodbye?”

“Yes. Well, it’s more like ‘so long,’ but you know what I mean.” She laughed. “You forgot, didn’t you? I can understand. Being with Cruz will do that to anyone.” She shifted the conversation quickly. “Today’s the day Devin and I are finally moving to his place in San Antonio.”

It all came back to her now. She’d completely forgotten about it last night when she’d gone to see Cruz. And after she saw him, everything had slipped her mind.

Savannah felt an overwhelming pang taking hold. Vanessa was leaving. Granted, over the last few weeks she’d made friends with many of the people who were involved in keeping the Double Crown running so efficiently, but it was Vanessa’s presence that she treasured. She was going to sorely miss seeing Vanessa every day.

Just when she was getting used to the way things were, they changed on her.

“You’re right,” Savannah admitted. “I did forget—”

Vanessa took her hands in both of hers. “Oh, don’t look so sad. I’m going to San Antonio, not outer space. I’ll still be coming back to the ranch. We’ll still get together.”

Savannah knew that Vanessa believed what she was saying. But between her new husband and her work as a psychologist, not to mention setting up housekeeping in San Antonio, Vanessa was going to be extremely busy. The pace would leave little time for visiting.

“And you,” Vanessa said pointedly, still holding her hands as if she were waiting to extract a promise from Savannah, “can always come out to our place and see San Antonio.”

Savannah had had more than enough of large cities. Life on the Double Crown suited her far better now. “I’ve seen San Antonio. This is nicer.”

Vanessa slipped an arm around Savannah’s shoulders. “You can’t beat it for peacefulness,” Vanessa agreed. “And almost anywhere you ride, there’s a view that makes you want to cry—”

“What’s this about crying?” Devin asked,
coming up behind them. He laid a hand on each woman’s shoulder.

Laughing, Vanessa turned her head to look at him. “Nothing. You wouldn’t understand.” She inclined her head toward Savannah, pretending to share a secret in a stage whisper. “Men never understand about tears.”

“Yes, we do. It’s a woman’s deadliest weapon.” Affection graced Devin’s eyes as he looked at his wife. “She uses it to get her way.”

Vanessa shivered. “That’s politically incorrect, my love.”

“But not without a germ of truth.” Another warm glance passing between them, he kissed the top of Vanessa’s head.

Savannah felt her chest tighten in envy. She was happy for Vanessa, for both of them. But it would have been nice if…

There it was again.
If
. The word was going to be the death of her.

Devin glanced at his watch. “We’d better get going, Vanessa.”

She nodded, but made no effort to move. “In a minute.” She looked at Devin. “I just want to talk to Savannah before we leave.”

The mover angled a dolly under the last of the boxes in the hall, then headed out. Devin followed
behind him. “I’ll see if they’ve loaded all five hundred pounds of your clothing into the van yet.”

“Smart aleck.” Vanessa tossed her head. “There are only fifty.”

Devin’s look shifted to Savannah. “She has a gift for understatement.”

“Only when I tell you how much I love you,” Vanessa pointed out. “Now get out of here.” She waited until Devin walked out the door before turning back to Savannah. The amused expression on Savannah’s face caught her off guard. “What?”

“You two are perfect for each other, you know that?” Savannah said. It was true: there was affection in every word that passed between the couple.

“You think?” Vanessa poked her tongue in her cheek and her eyes shone. “And so are you and Cruz.”

Savannah sighed. She’d gotten very little rest last night and even less sleep. She didn’t feel up to a discussion on this again. “Don’t start.”

“Oh, but I have to,” Vanessa teased. “I won’t have another chance for a few days.” Suddenly, Vanessa grew serious. “Listen to me, Savannah. He needs a good woman in his life. I grew up with him. I know Cruz, and I’m one of the very few women in this world who can look at him objectively. He’s drop-dead gorgeous, but he’s lonely.”

Lonely? Right. The man couldn’t make a move
without stepping on a woman who was throwing herself at him. “The two don’t go together.”

“Yes, they do,” Vanessa insisted. “Sure, he’s been with a lot of women and they all flock to him, but he’s right in what he thinks.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s the cowboy they want to be with. The handsome wrangler who gives them something to fantasize about when they go back to their pricey worlds and their polished crystal stemware and their socially acceptable suitors with spreading waistlines. Cruz knows this, and he hasn’t let anyone close to him.” Vanessa smiled affectionately at her. “Until you.”

Afraid she would begin to believe her, Savannah started to turn away.

Vanessa caught her by the shoulders, holding her fast. “I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you,” she insisted. “You don’t want him for a fantasy, and he has no idea what to make of you or what to do with you.”

Savannah thought of the night she had just spent. “Oh, I think he has some idea what to do with me.”

Vanessa laughed just as Devin peered in through the front door. Vanessa help up her forefinger. “In a second,” she called out. Looking at Savannah,
she hurriedly continued. “I think that the best thing that could happen to him is if you married him.”

Savannah knew Vanessa meant well, but this wasn’t helping the situation. There were only three words she needed to be convinced to marry him, and they wouldn’t be coming from Vanessa. “You’re my best friend. You have to say that.”

“No, I don’t,” Vanessa said firmly. “And I never say anything I don’t mean. My point is that Cruz needs someone like you in his life. I’ll go one step further. He needs
you
. And I think you need him.”

Vanessa was right. She did need him, but that too was something she wasn’t about to share. Not until she was convinced that he wanted her—and not just a clear conscience.

“What I need right now,” Savannah announced, “is a shower. And you need to go to Devin before he takes root over there, waiting for you.” She gestured toward the entrance.

Vanessa glanced toward her husband. “All right, all right, I’ll go. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on this.” And then she hugged Savannah tightly. “Stop thinking of everyone else for a change, and just think of you.”

Savannah only smiled in response as Vanessa released her. She
was
thinking of herself. She was remembering herself as a little girl. A little girl
with an enormous burden on her shoulders. She didn’t want that happening twice in her life. More than anything, she didn’t want to ruin two more people’s lives the way she had ruined her mother and father’s.

Though they spoke on the telephone almost daily, the house seemed incredibly empty to Savannah without Vanessa there. Ryan had assured Savannah that she was welcome to remain at the house for as long as she wanted to. He urged her to think of the Double Crown as her home now. With the furniture from her former apartment now housed within the two spacious rooms that comprised her private living quarters, the Double Crown could very well have become her home.

But a feeling of restlessness wouldn’t leave her. Savannah felt as if she was in transition, as if she hadn’t found her real place yet. She figured it was probably due to the pregnancy. She hadn’t gained any weight yet, but because her stomach had finally settled down, she was no longer losing it either.

Without Vanessa to share her thoughts with, Savannah found herself spending more time with Cruz’s sister Maggie and her five-year-old son, Travis. She adored all children, and Travis was no exception. Sensing a kindred spirit, the boy
gravitated to her, and she enjoyed playing with him and reading to him when Maggie was through housekeeping for the day.

“You’re really great with kids, you know? All he can talk about is you.”

Savannah grinned as Travis ran to her, crying out, “Sa-hanna!” She figured it was close enough. In her arms, Travis snuggled against her. He smelled of the outdoors and cookies. “He’s learning to be a real ladies’ man, like his uncle.”

“His uncle could take a few pointers from him,” Maggie said, sitting down on the front steps of her parents’ house. Maggie looked at her. “You know, you could have a real gentling effect on him.”

“Travis is great just as he is.”

“I was talking about Cruz.”

Savannah laughed as the boy made himself at home on her lap, presenting her with a picture book.

“I really doubt any woman could have a gentling effect on Cruz. Besides, I wouldn’t want to change him. He’s perfect just the way he is.”

“Perfect?” Maggie hooted. “Please, if you have an ounce of compassion in you, don’t ever let Cruz hear you say that. His head is big enough as it is.” She rolled her eyes. “Perfect, ha!”

“But he is.” Knowing it was what Travis
wanted, she began to slowly bounce him on her knee. The little boy started giggling and clapping his hands. “He’s sensitive and exciting, and after you get used to how good looking he is, he’s easy to talk to.”