EXPECTING HIS CHILD (11 page)

Her heart and body protesting, she moved backward unsteadily. Noah's arms shot out to stabilize her, sending her emotions into another tailspin. She lifted her hands and took another step backward.
G'night
, Noah.

When Martina awoke the next morning, she opened her eyes to a bowl of fully ripe homegrown tomatoes on her dresser. On them perched a note in Noah's bold handwriting. "Tomatoes for you every morning. You with me every evening. Fair trade? Yours, Noah."

Martina didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She had no intention of telling Noah he left homegrown tomatoes in the dust even if it was an absolute fact. If he wasn't so nearly perfect, she'd kick him. She had to leave soon or she would give in to him.

That evening, Noah was edgy as hell. He was getting better and he couldn't fake it, and Martina was going to leave. He could feel it in his bones. Why couldn't he get through to her?

After dinner, he reviewed some stock charts,
then
returned downstairs. He heard Martina and Jonathan laughing in the living room. The sound drew him. He walked closer and heard her voice.

"One, two, three. One, two, three," she said. "See? You can do it. Who told you that you can't dance?"

"My leg isn't helping much, but it's not as bad as it would be if it were raining. This is the waltz? Damn, I never thought I'd see the day I'd be waltzing."

"With a very pregnant lady, no less," she said with another chuckle that made Noah's nerve endings crinkle.

"We're some kind of pair. The limping horse whisperer and…"

"The pregnant porcupine?" she suggested.

"I wasn't gonna say that."

"No." Martina's voice bubbled with amusement. "You were just thinking it."

Noah felt his gut twist with an emotion he couldn't immediately name. If Martina was going to pair with anyone, it was going to be him. Jealousy? Shock raced through him. He was jealous of his brother? He must be losing his mind, he thought, but the feeling didn't fade as he heard their continuing banter. Why was it so easy for Martina and Jonathan? Why did she smile and laugh with Jonathan when she avoided Noah as if he were the evil dragon from
The Hobbit?
Why?
he
wondered as he listened.

"Let me know if you get tired," Jonathan said. "Are you sure pregnant women are supposed to dance?"

"Pregnant women can do anything their doctors tell them they can do."

"You're sure about that?" Jonathan said.

"I'm sure. Are you afraid I'm going to have the baby in the middle of the living room just because I waltzed with you?"

Jonathan blanched and stopped
midstep
. "You wouldn't do that, would you?"

Martina shook her head and laughed. She had learned that Jonathan was the most easygoing of the Coltrane brothers. He provided a welcome break from all the tension she felt with the other brothers, including Noah. "I imagine it's going to take more than a waltz to pry this one out of me. You have to remember this baby has inherited stubbornness genes from both Noah and me."

"You and Noah are gonna have your hands full," Jonathan warned her.

"I didn't know dance lessons were on the schedule," Noah said, entering the room. "Where do I sign up?"

Martina stiffened and stepped on Jonathan's foot.

He winced.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm not the best teacher."

"The best I ever had," he said.

From the corner of her eye, Martina saw Noah's frown deepen.

"The best you ever had," Noah echoed in a deceptively mild voice.

Jonathan did a double take. "Best
dance
teacher," he said to his brother, and slowly stepped away from Martina. "Thanks for the dance lesson." He shook his head at Noah. "I think I'll get a beer."

He left and an uneasy silence descended. "Would you like to go out on the porch?" Noah asked.

Confused and uneasy, Martina shrugged. "Okay."

She followed him outside, not standing too close. It was a warm, cloudless night, but the breeze made it more bearable. She drew in a deep breath and gazed up at the big Texas sky. "I like being able to order pizza and Chinese food and have them delivered in Dallas, but I sure do miss the stars. The city lights detract. Every now and then it's nice to look at a sky full of stars."

"Are you a city girl or country girl, Martina?"

"Both," she said. "I enjoy the conveniences of city life, but I need the quietness of the country at times."

Noah was in an odd mood. She could sense it, and it made her tense and uncomfortable.

After a long silence, Noah finally spoke again. "You and Jonathan seemed to get along well."

"He talks to me."

"What do you mean?" Noah asked, studying her.

"Your other brothers don't speak to me. I know they wish I wasn't here. Especially Adam. I can't say I blame them, but Jonathan doesn't mind talking to me, and he doesn't really expect anything of me."

"I saw you laughing in his arms when I came downstairs," Noah said.

Realization and surprise raced through her. "You can't think there's anything going on between Jonathan and me. Not if you have half a brain."

He leaned against a railing. "Maybe I don't where you're concerned," he muttered. "He's just a man. He could fall for you."

Martina stared at Noah in disbelief. "Do you have a screw loose? Look at me," she said. "Really look at me and tell me, what do you see?"

He looked at her for a long time. He looked at her so long Martina resisted the urge to squirm. "I see a beautiful woman pregnant with my child," he said quietly.

Martina groaned. "I appreciate the beautiful part. That's very nice, but the truth of the matter is, I have a lot in common with the
Titanic
at the moment. I am not
gently
pregnant. Most men who look at me are either filled with horrified curiosity or fear that I'm going to give birth any minute. I can tell you they are not looking at me with lust. And the only reason you might have any lust is because you are the
fa
—" She cut herself off, not wanting to say the words, not wanting to reinforce the connection between them.

"Because I am the what, Martina? Finish what you were going to say." Noah moved closer to her.

Her heart jumped. "I … I was just going to say something about you donating genetic material."

"No, you weren't," he said, gently backing her against the wall. "You were going to say something else. Tell me, Martina."

"I … I…" She swallowed at the fierce expression on his face.

"What were you going to say?"

Trapped, she glared at him. "Okay, I was going to say you're the father. It doesn't change anything for me to say it. I'm still leaving tomorrow."

Chapter 11

«
^
»

"
T
his cigar sucks," Noah said, tossing the stub of one of Gideon's cigars over the porch railing.

"I
coulda
told you that," Jonathan said, strolling onto the front porch. "Gideon could see you were miserable as hell and in his ignorance he thought a cigar would make you feel better."

Noah knew Jonathan and Gideon were holding an ongoing battle over Gideon's cigar usage. Ever since Jonathan had permanently hurt his leg in the rodeo, he'd become a different man, leading a cleaner life and taking more pleasure in simple things. More than ever, he was the peacemaker among Noah and his brothers. In fact his battle with Gideon was conducted with a more mild, verbal reproach, rather than stinging insults.

Noah longed for the easy, reassuring relationship he'd always shared with Jonathan, but at the moment, he wasn't sure if his brother was carrying a mile-high crush on Martina.

Jonathan joined him at the railing and inhaled the night air. "You've come up with some harebrained ideas before, but this one takes the cake," he said as if he could read Noah's mind.

Noah glanced at his brother in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"You don't really think I'm after the woman you intend to marry, do you?" Jonathan asked.

Noah shrugged. "Martina's a beautiful, challenging woman. It would be hard for a man not to fall for her."

Jonathan shook his head. "You must be so
ga-ga
over her that you can't see straight."

Noah resented the implication that he was out of control. "I can see just fine. You were dancing with her, and you two were laughing. Sounded pretty damn cozy to me."

"
Ga-ga
," Jonathan repeated. "Totally
ga-ga
. For Pete's sake, Noah, the woman is so pregnant with your baby she looks like you could say boo and she'd have the child on the spot."

"So?"

Jonathan groaned. "Can't you see that she feels totally out of place here in no-woman's-land? If one of us doesn't talk to her a little, she's gonna think we all hate her guts. Adam is convinced her brothers are going to ride over here and try to burn down the house, and Gideon is convinced she's got some kind of voodoo power, since she's able to make you act so crazy."

"Crazy," Noah echoed. "I'm not acting crazy."

"Thinking I'm after the woman who's carrying your baby isn't crazy?" Jonathan asked. "Think about it."

Noah reconsidered and felt a trace of foolishness trickle through. He glanced at Jonathan. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. Love makes fools of us all."

Noah shifted uncomfortably. "For the most part, I've kept a clear head about Martina. I'm committed to her, but I wouldn't say I'm in love with her."

Jonathan laughed aloud. "Well, you'd damn well better be, because nothing else is gonna work with her."

Noah frowned. "What do you mean? You know I've never gotten too worked up over the idea of being in love with a woman. I'm not even sure I believe in it." He felt an odd twinge at his words, as if they didn't adequately cover his feelings on the matter as well as they once did. "Besides," he continued, "Martina and the baby are too important to let emotions cloud what I need to do."

"Hate to tell you this, bro, but your emotions already have. Maybe your problem is you've been trying to keep your heart out of this."

Noah fought a wave of uneasiness. "I still don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Do you really think Martina's the kind of woman who is gonna respond well to a calculated play for her?"

"Well, no." Noah rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "Maybe not."

"You know her a lot better than I do, but I've always thought women were a little like
horses
. With some of them, you follow every rule in the book and it all works out fine. But if you've got a Thoroughbred, the regular rules won't necessarily cut the mustard. Sometimes you've got to follow your gut, your instincts,
your
heart. It sounds to me like you've been leading with your head. If you're gonna get Martina, you might just have to lead with your heart."

Noah prized intellect and passion and held little faith in human emotion. He'd watched too many people get hurt from too much feeling and not enough thinking. Jonathan might as well have told him he would have to jump off a cliff in order to win Martina.

There'd been no more chapters read from
The Hobbit
last night, and Martina had tossed and turned before she'd fallen into an uneasy sleep. When she awoke this morning, she felt lost. Determined to get back control of her life, she showered and began to pack. Midway through her task, a knock sounded at the door.

Martina opened it to Noah. "I'm leaving today," she blurted before she fell under his spell and found another reason to stay with him.

His expression inscrutable, he nodded. "Okay. If you don't mind waiting until lunch, I'd appreciate it. I've got something I need to show you."

Surprised at his lack of protest, she agreed and felt her sense of loss deepen as he left her room. She sank onto the bed and fought the urge to cry. She looked out the window onto the Coltrane ranch and saw a land that needed flowers, a home that needed a woman's touch. Surely she couldn't be that woman, she thought. Not with all the history between her family and Noah's.

She closed her eyes and the truth pounded her like a relentless tidal wave. Although she had fought it, she was in love with Noah Coltrane, and her love for him was going to hurt her and her brothers. It was right for their baby to have two parents and to experience the privilege of having Noah as a father, but it was wrong for Martina to betray her brothers. Her brothers had loved her when her father had not. Logan loyalty ran deep, and she feared that if she stayed with Noah, she would feel guilty for the rest of her life. More confused than ever, she knew she needed to return to Dallas to make her decision.

By lunchtime, Martina was ready to bolt, but she made herself bide her time. Noah met her in the living room and led her out the front door. "Patch, make sure you hang around for the delivery," he called. "I'll be back in a little while."

He turned to Martina and offered his arm as they walked down the steps to the truck. "It occurred to me," he said, "that whatever happens between you and me, our child will spend some time on the ranch, and that means you should know a little about it, too."

His acceptance of her plan to leave rubbed at a raw spot inside her. Had he given up?
she
wondered. She should be relieved, she told herself. Wasn't that what she had wanted?

She listened as he told her about the various buildings and pastures as he drove throughout the ranch. He showed her the new bunkhouse for the fencing and roundup weekends. Although the Logan ranch possessed a more finished look, Martina was impressed with the size and layout of the Coltrane ranch. The unpolished nature of the ranch held the promise and excitement of fresh possibilities.

Noah pulled to a stop in front of a building under construction. "Let's take a look," he said, and helped her out of the truck.

The spacious two-story building boasted a large number of windows and an elegant, but casual Southwestern-style exterior. Walking through the front doorway, she nodded at all the light from the windows. Martina had always preferred plenty of light in her living quarters.

"It's lovely," she said. "What is it going to be?"

"It was originally going to house a new office, but plans change," he said thoughtfully. "Come upstairs."

They climbed the stairs to the second level, which boasted five rooms and large closets. Two of the rooms featured skylights with shades. Noah led her into one of the smaller rooms. "I thought this could be the nursery. When I found out about the baby, I wanted to make a place for both of you here."

Martina's heart stopped. "Oh, Noah, I can't. I … I…"

He pressed a fingertip to her lips. "You can stay and you can go. It won't change what's between us. If we didn't lose it when you left Chicago and stayed away all those months, it's not going to disappear now, no matter how hard you may want it to." He stroked her cheek and held her gaze. "No matter how inconvenient and scary it is for you, I'm not going anywhere."

His words cut through her confusion with sword-like precision. But Noah didn't understand the war going on inside her, jerking her from one side to the other. "I still need to leave," she said in a voice that trembled, despite her best intentions.

"Okay," he said. "Let's go back to the house." They rode in silence and Martina's tension grew with each breath she took. When they arrived, she noticed an unfamiliar car parked in front of the house. "Visitor?"

"Yep," he said, but didn't explain.

Lost in a sea of conflicting emotions, Martina got out of the truck and went back into the house with the intention of quickly gathering her belongings so she could leave.

Patch met them in the hall with a broad grin. "Delivery was made and your guest is in the den chatting with Jonathan."

"Good," Noah said, and glanced in the living room. He chuckled.

Curious, Martina peeked into the room. "What was the
deliv
—" She gasped in shock when she saw a baby grand in the middle of the room. "
Omigoodness
!"

"Yeah, those suckers are pretty big considering they're called babies," Noah said. He glanced carefully at Martina. "What do you think of it?"

Surprised, she walked closer to the piano and shook her head. "It's beautiful. Just beautiful. I didn't know you played."

"I don't," he said, his jaw ticking with discomfort. "But I thought if you wanted to learn, it would be nice to have one available."

Overwhelmed, she gaped at him. "You bought this for me?"

He shrugged and leaned over to touch one of the ivory keys. "I thought it might be a way to make you feel a little closer to your mother."

Martina's chest filled with emotion. Her eyes burned with tears. "But don't you think this is a bit much?"

"I didn't get the impression you'd take a ring," he said, lowering his gaze to hers. "Try it out."

She was so moved she was incoherent. Sitting down on the bench, she tinkered with the keys. "I don't know how to play. How could you do this?" she asked in a voice wobbly to her own ears. "Why?"

"This was an illogical, emotional decision," he said. "You miss the mother you never had. I can't bring her back for you. But maybe I can do something that will make you feel like she's not so far away." He stepped into the hallway. "Hey, Patch, would you bring the visitor in?"

"Visitor?" Martina said, still overwhelmed.

An elderly lady with fluffy white hair entered the room and gave a soft little gasp. "Stars! You look just like Anna."

Confused, Martina looked to Noah for help. "Pardon?"

"This is Helen Lowry and she was your mother's piano teacher when your mom was a little girl. Helen is still teaching piano and she'd be happy to take you on as a student."

One moment ago, Martina hadn't dreamed she could be more overwhelmed, but he'd topped her. "You knew my mother?"

"Most of her life," Mrs. Lowry said with a smile. "She was a sweet girl who occasionally got into mischief. When she first started taking lessons with me, her mother would dress her in the prettiest little dresses. But Anna liked to climb trees and she was always showing up with skinned knees. She hated the finger exercises I assigned, but soon enough she made friends with the piano. By the time she met your daddy, she had received a scholarship to attend a music conservatory."

Martina felt as if she'd traveled across a desert and found a fountain of the sweetest water on earth. She'd known so little of her mother because her father hadn't wanted to speak of her, and her brothers only knew what little they remembered.

"Did she go?" she asked. "Did she go to the conservatory?"

Mrs. Lowry shook her head. "No. Your daddy bought her a piano and she was as crazy about him as she was her music. When the babies started coming, she was crazy about them, too."

Martina's throat grew tight. "I really don't know if I have any musical ability, but even if I can't learn to play, I would love for you to tell me about my mother."

Mrs. Lowry's eyes softened. "Now don't you
worry.
I've taught kids who were tone deaf." She patted Martina on the shoulder. "And I'll be happy to tell you all kinds of stories about your mother."

Martina glanced up to find Noah, but he was gone from the room. She needed to talk to him. She needed to thank him. But how could she possibly?

"We really should begin, dear," Mrs. Lowry said.

Martina blinked. "Begin what?"

"Your first lesson, of course. Let's start with middle C. It's right here," she said, hitting a key. "Now, the proper position for your hands is…"

Martina gamely tried to accept instruction from Mrs. Lowry, but her head was in a whirl. In the past thirty minutes, Noah had delivered one surprise after another. And now, heaven help her, she was attempting to learn to play the piano. Another thirty minutes passed and Mrs. Lowry left, and Martina was staring at the beautiful piano.