EXONERATION (INTERFERENCE) (12 page)

“Keep watching! It gets much better!” Parker slurred from the doorway.

I did what he said and the next scene was of Shane at the front of the store. He was standing at the cash register. He opened it and counted out a couple hundred dollars and stuck it in his pocket.

“So, what do you think of Lover-Boy, now?” Parker said, leaning up against the wall for support.

“I um…I don’t know what to think. Maybe he had a good reason…”

He sighed. “God, you’re so pitiful! How can you not see it? He’s a crook!
A common criminal. I don’t blame you for believing his lies then…but, you’re a grown woman now. Don’t fall for his crap again! I’m going to bed. You can have that copy. I have others…” he said and stumbled off.

I stared after him, completely shocked.

The next morning I got up early. I needed to talk to Parker before he left for work. The second my head left my pillow, I found myself running to the bathroom. I was sick. I’d been feeling queasy for a few days, but I assumed that I was fighting off some bug and didn’t pay much attention to it.

I brushed my teeth and started to head downstairs to see Parker, only to find him standing in my room.

“Oh, Parker.
I was just coming to talk to you.”

“Are you sick?”

“What? I don’t know! I’m fine! Um, I wanted to ask you why you were watching that video last night?”

“I watch it all the time,
Beccs!”

“Stop calling me that!
And, WHY? Why would you watch that?”

He sat down on my bed and said, “I just can’t figure it out.”

“What?”

“Why you look at him like you did…like you still do.”

“Parker…please don’t…”

“Don’t what? It’s obvious I don’t! I don’t make you blush, I don’t make you shine…I’ve never made you…cry out like that…well, except the last time we were together.” He looked up at me and said, “I made you happy last time, didn’t I?”

I looked away, not wanting him to see the guilt in my eyes. “Yes, it was…fine.”

“Fine?
A trip to the mall is fine. I want you say it was more than ‘fine’ when we make love. You seemed…into it the last time.”

I nodded, still afraid to say anything.

“What did I do different? Please, tell me, so I can do it again? I’ve watched that video a hundred times. I know the things he did that you liked. Is that why it was good last time? Did I remind you of him?”

“Parker, don’t do this.”

“You never once looked at me that night,” he said, looking down and rubbing his jaw. “You were there in body, but your mind, your heart; they were with him, weren’t they? He was already back, clouding you mind. It was him you were making love to that night, wasn’t it?”

“NO!” I lied.

“Swear it!”

“Parker, what’s it going to take to get you to stop this? I’m here! I haven’t left.”

“But you won’t sleep with me. You’re here in body, but not spirit or heart.  How are we supposed to make it as a couple if we have separate bedrooms? How can we make another child if you’re in here and I’m in there,” he pointed out my door.

I started to get nauseous again. I dropped my head into my hands, trying to ebb away the dizziness and queasiness. It didn’t work, seconds later I was running back to the bathroom,
throwing up the remains of my stomach contents. I sat there, staring at the porcelain bowl, wondering what was wrong with me.

“What’s that all about? Do you need a doctor?” he asked, standing over me with a wet washcloth.

“No, I’m fine. I don’t know what it is…maybe I ate something I shouldn’t have.”

“Well, do you need anything?”

“No. You can go to work. I’ll be fine.”

“I um, I’m sorry about…what I said before. I know you’re with me. I just, I wish it was every night. I miss you Rebecca. I do love you…so much.”

I stood up and said, “I know you do. I’m trying, Parker. I really am.”

“Well, maybe we can try for a baby? I don’t even care if it’s a boy. I’ll be happy either way.
As long as I have you!”

I managed a small smile. “Are you sure you’re prepared to go through that again? You almost passed out when I had Shannon,” I
actually smiled, remembering his terrified expression.

“Well, I was a little shocked. But, I’ll be prepared this time. And, I’ll be there from the beginning. I’ll run and get you whatever you’re craving, at any hour of the night. I’ll tie your shoes when you can no longer reach or see your feet. I’ll rub your aching back…”

“Sounds enticing,” I laughed.

“Sounds wonderful,” he said, looking nostalgic.

“Well, I guess you’ve already proven you can handle me throwing up. I did a lot of that when I was pregnant with…” I stopped talking and started thinking…counting days… “Oh, my God!”

“What?”

I looked up into Parker’s eyes. “What’s the date?” I asked.

“The 20
th.
Why?”

“No, no it can’t be!”

“It’s the 20
th
. Look,” he said, holding out his cell phone.

My face went pale.

“What’s wrong?”

“It…oh, um…I just forgot to make the house payment!” I lied. My head was spinning.

“It’s okay. I can drop it off at the bank on my way to work, if you want.”

“What?” I said, my head reeling.

“The payment? I’ll drop it off.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay. I haven’t written the check yet. I’ll probably just pay online. I have some errands to do once I get Shannon off to school anyway. Have a good day,” I said.

“Are you sure that you’re okay?”

“I’m fine…really.”

Signs and Symptoms

The second he left, I headed to my day planner.
“29, 30, 40…oh, no, 55 days since my last period. Fifty-five days since…How could you be so stupid!”
I was too old to deny the signs and symptoms this time. Nausea, vomiting, sore and swollen breasts, and a period that was late by over three weeks…there was no denying it! I was pregnant.

I dropped Shannon off at school and ran to the drug store to confirm my suspicions. I was racing back home, and suddenly I decided I wasn’t in a hurry to face it. I drove up to my favorite
coffee hut and ordered a decaf vanilla latte. I looked down at the drink.
You know it’s true or you sure as hell wouldn’t have ordered decaf!

My hands were shaking as I reached down to pick up the test stick. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I saw a big
+
sign in the test window.
Oh, God! This can’t be happening…again.  Why can’t I remember to use birth control? But, I had used birth control the night I was with Parker, which meant only one thing; I was carrying Shane’s baby…again!

I was determined to take good care of my baby this time, so I immediately walked over and called Dr. Emory’s office and made a prenatal appointment. Then, I looked around, thinking I should keep busy…or something. I had to take my mind off of it for a while. I started cleaning windows, but found myself back in the bathroom vomiting again. I was exhausted, drained from the stress in my life and now that I was pregnant, I knew it was only going to get worse. I put my hand on my tummy and said, “It’ll be okay. Even though your daddy and I aren’t together, we’ll still be there for you. He’ll love you, I know he will.”

As I listened to my own words, I realized I was right. He would be there, but not just for Shannon and this baby, but for me as well. I couldn’t tell him last time, but I sure as hell would tell him this time! I stood up and brushed my teeth again. I grabbed my purse and walked out the door.

I drove to the clinic intent on telling him about the baby right away. He missed ou
t last time, and I wasn’t going to let it happen again. I didn’t care about the consequences, I loved him and I was determined to work something out.

I walked into the clinic and the receptionist obviously remembered me, “Hello Mrs. Hayes.
Is Snowball doing okay?”

“What? Oh, yes, she’s fine. I um, I need to talk to Shane…Dr.
Ramsay for a minute, please.”

“Well, he’s with a client. It shouldn’t be too long.”

“Okay. I’ll wait.” I walked around the reception room, getting more and more nervous every second. I knew the longer I waited the harder it was going to be, so I finally just walked through the door that led to the exam rooms, spouting something about needing to use the restroom.

“But…it’s out of …”

But, I was gone and not listening. “Shane!” I called.

“Rebecca? What are you…are you okay? Shannon?” he asked, walking over to me.

“Shannon’s fine, but um, I’m not okay…I’m…” Just then Annette Williams walked out of his apartment in the back, adjusting her skirt and looking flushed.

“Hi Rebecca.
How are you? I missed you at the last fundraiser,” she smiled while sidling right up next to Shane.

“Oh, um, yeah.
I didn’t um…volunteer at the booths….um, I did the flyers…what, what are you doing here?” I asked, irritated to see her anywhere near him.

“Oh, I was just getting some advice from the good doctor here.”

“You don’t have any pets.”

“I know, but I’m thinking of getting one,” she smiled up at him with obvious longing.

She had just come from the back…the room where his bed was. The bed we slept in and probably conceived the child I was now carrying. Suddenly I was sick again. I ran outside to get some fresh air. Shane followed after me. “Rebecca, what’s wrong?”

I was bending over by the car, trying to keep my latte down and catch my breath.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” I lied, standing upright.

“What was that all about? Why are you here? Not that I’m not happy to see you.”

“It was a mistake,” I said, breathlessly. I was desperately trying to quell the nausea tumbling in my stomach. “I have to go. You’re picking Shannon up today, right?”

“Of course.
It’s Wednesday.”

“Yeah, okay. Um, can you drop her by the club tonight? We’re um, we’re going out to dinner with my parents and my sister…and um…celebrating,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, okay. I can keep her late…if you want.”

“No. Just drop her off at six. I’ll meet you by the front door.”

“What are you celebrating?”

“Sam’s getting married, and she’s um…she’s pregnant.”

“Oh, that’s great. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I um, I have to go.”

He grabbed my arm, gently. “What is it? Why did you come?”             

“I just…wanted to tell you…where to bring Shannon tonight.”

“Rebecca…?”

“I have to go. Go on back…to Annette,” I said, unable to keep the jealousy from my voice. I got in my car and drove off, wondering how I could ever have believed he still loved me.

I showered and dressed in a new blouse which I noticed seemed to be pulling on the buttons, making them gape in spots. This made me angry. I had fallen for him again, only to be betrayed by him
once more. I knew he hadn’t left this time, but I thought it would have been easier if he had left me instead of taking up with that woman.

I pulled out a dress, opting to try and hide the evidence of my adultery from my family. I knew I couldn’t hide it for long, but I needed to think about what I was going to do. I knew I couldn’t stay with Parker, whether or not Shane
was in the picture, or not. I didn’t love him and it was time I stood on my own two feet. I had a good job, even if it was one I didn’t like. But, it gave me the option of raising my children on my own.

“You look…radiant,” Parker said from the doorway.

“Thank you.”

He walked up to me and leaned down and kissed me. It was quick, so quick that I didn’t have time to even think of turning away. “You’ve made me so happy. I love you, Rebecca. Are you ready to go?”

“Um, yes. I just need my purse.”

Parker was non-stop jabber all the way to the club. I tried to pay attention, and I must have mumbled and nodded at the right times, so he just kept talking animatedly. My thoughts were on Shane…Shane and Annette. I couldn’t get the picture of her coming out of his room out
of my head. I knew I shouldn’t be angry. I had no right to expect him not to have a lover. He was a man, and as Parker always said, men have needs. I was foolish to think he would be true to me when I was offering nothing in return.

I was completely lost in my thoughts and didn’t notice Parker pulling into the club parking lot until my door was opened by the valet. I walked inside and Parker immediately put his arm around me and led me to our usual table in the back of the club. I looked around at all the people I’d known for years. I noticed Annette was in the opposite corner with her parents. The sight of her made my nausea return full force. She smiled and waved as if nothing had happened, as if she wasn’t stealing the only man I had ever or would ever love.