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“Oh jeez, not another one,” Danny muttered.

Mike immediately tensed up and Lisa gave Pop a shaky smile. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have another granddaughter to offset all these grandsons?”

His father hadn’t even opened his mouth to answer when Mike cut in with a curt, “No.”

“But we have four—”

“No.” Mike stood and tossed his paper plate into the fire. “We’re done with that, Lisa.”

“Maybe we should—”

“I’m done. And since everybody else already knows you’ve lost your damn mind, they may as well know I haven’t.”

He started toward his RV, and Joe was surprised when Lisa stood and followed him. They usually stuck pretty close to the Cleaver routine in front of the kids.

“I miss having a baby, Mike. And now that they’re older, I…”

“Now that they’re older
what?
What part of them getting older and more independent and giving us more freedom are you seeing as a bad thing?”

“You won’t have any reason to stay with me.”

Joe winced. The fact Mike had married Lisa because she was pregnant with Joey wasn’t some deep, dark family secret, but it wasn’t exactly lunch conversation, either.

“Are you kidding me?” Mike was getting loud, and their mother stood, ready to intervene. “You think I’ll leave if you don’t have a baby on your hip?”

“You didn’t
want
to marry me. Everybody knows that.”

The campsite suddenly became a flurry of activity, and youngster-distracting freeze pops appeared as if by magic in Terry’s hands. Their parents were both making a beeline to Lisa and Mike, and it was a toss-up as to who was going to slap whom upside the head first. Keri was working her way out of the group, trying for invisible. And poor Steph crying silent tears, no doubt traumatized by watching another of the stable, role-model relationships in her life crumble.

But everybody froze when Mike made a frustrated growling sound and plowed his fist into the side of his camper. Joey was on his feet in an instant, freeze pop dropped in the dirt as he stepped in front of Lisa.

Joe watched the boy—so tall, skinny and scared shitless—facing off against his dad, and felt an odd tightening in his chest. Lisa wasn’t in any danger. Mike had a bit of a temper, but he’d throw himself under a bus before he raised a hand to his family.

But his oldest nephew had just taken a giant, irreversible step toward the man he’d become, and it was an awesome and yet incredibly sad moment to watch.

Nobody intervened when Mike turned and walked out of the site and up the dirt road. They all knew from years of experience he’d walk it off and in ten minutes be back with an apology and a better attitude.

So Joe had no idea what to say when he heard his truck start up and then watched it drive past them and exit the campground.

“Where’s Daddy going?” Bobby asked, melted freeze pop running down his chin and staining his shirt green. “He didn’t give me a kiss goodbye.”

Lisa looked totally stricken, so Terry stepped in with a half-assed explanation of Daddy putting himself in time-out for being cranky.

“He should do some timeses.”

Lisa, obviously shaken beyond her ability to front for the kids, started to cry. “Is he coming back?”

Nobody knew, but they all said yes.

She got up and cleaned the cabin, then tried to read some more. The book still didn’t grab her, so she took out her steno pad and pencil. She may as well get some work done while the Kowalskis were busy with their family crisis.

Reworking the answers he’d already given into paragraphs that
might
pacify Tina without violating any of Joe’s rules was a grueling, on-going process. And she was still debating whether or not to use the drunken, Carrie Danielson-writing chapter of his life.

Formulating each progressive question was also getting harder as the questions she wanted to ask Joe were diverging from the kind of questions
Spotlight
readers would want answers to.

With a sigh, she turned to a fresh page and scratched out a throwaway question. Then, disgusted with herself, she leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, the weak evening sun barely lit the cabin and Joe sat on the edge of the bed, her notebook in his hand.

Keri sat up and scrubbed at her face. That was the first nap she’d taken in years, and she remembered now why she hated them. They left her groggy and disoriented, with no sense of time.

“Is this your next question?” he asked, flashing the page at her.

Why didn’t you ask me not to go?

“No. I was playing hangman with myself.”

“Where’s the gallows?”

“I do that in my head. Makes it easier to cheat.”

“Good point. I should try that.” He took her pencil and wrote something on the page. “I win.”

He tossed the pad on the bed next to her and walked over to turn on the gas fireplace.

Because I wanted you to be a happy zebra. Why didn’t you ask me to go with you?

“A happy zebra?”

“I had to get a Z in there off the top of my head. Tried to stump myself.”

Keri grabbed the pencil.
I couldn’t eXpect you to leave your Family, Joe
. “X, F
and
J. I win.”

He took it and sighed before writing something and handing it back. “I lost a long time ago.”

I loved you.

She wrote
I loved you, too
under it, then flipped the cover closed and jammed the pencil through the wire spiral. “How is Lisa?”

“Convinced her husband left her.”

“And the boys?”

“Pretending to be distracted just to make the adults feel better.”

“Do you think he’s coming back?”

“Since he took my keys and stole my truck, he pretty much has to.”

“Would it help if we took the kids out for pizza or something?”

“You’d do that?”

Keri laughed. “I know they’re a handful, but I’ve read that children can sense tension, especially in their family, and that it throws them out of whack. As rowdy as your nephews are, I can’t imagine them out of whack.”

Joe smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes or make his dimples pop. “Do you want kids?”

The question flew at her from left field and she didn’t even have time to get her glove up. “I don’t know. I guess I stopped thinking about it at some point. By the time I meet the career goals I set for myself and then go daddy shopping, I’ll have to deliver in the geriatric ward. How about you?”

“I guess not.”

“Why not? Family’s always been everything to you, and you’d make a great dad.”

He shrugged. “I was pretty self-involved for a while. Drinking and writing were my entire world. And then, after Lauren, I… I’ve got Steph and the boys, and being Uncle Joe’s been good enough for me.”

But there was an unhappiness in his eyes that she’d never seen before, and it went deeper than concern for his brother’s woes.

“They’re growing up,” he said abruptly, pacing in front of the fireplace. “Joey tonight…I was so damn proud of him. And it hurt that he’s not mine to be proud of. I almost hated Mike right then, for getting to be Joey’s dad.”

She had no idea what to say to that, and eventually the silence stretched on to the point the moment was gone.

“So, the pizza thing?” she asked after it was obvious no more was forthcoming.

“I appreciate the offer, but I was actually sent here to bring you back for dinner. I got distracted by hangman. Also, I think we covered the fact Mike stole my truck, we won’t all fit in your rental and it’s a long walk to the pizza place.”

Keri stowed her notepad and donned a sweatshirt before following Joe out the door. The extra fabric helped keep the hardiest of the mosquitoes at bay, plus the temperature had a way of going down with the sun.

The entire family—minus Mike—was seated around the campfire, breaking out the ingredients for s’mores. Clearly the Kowalskis had already inhaled their suppers while she and Joe were depressing the hell out of each other.

“I made you each a plate,” Mary called over. “Hurry and eat before the chocolate’s gone.”

Keri was licking barbecue sauce from her fingers when a vehicle pulled into the campground. The others must have recognized the sound of Joe’s SUV, because their heads all swiveled in that direction and the tension level shot up into the stratosphere again.

Mike parked across the front of the site, then tossed Joe his keys. After lifting the back hatch, he pulled out a gigantic gift box, which he barely managed to carry in Lisa’s general direction. Once it became obvious he couldn’t see and could feasibly end up in the campfire, Kevin gave him a hand.

“I hid it at Ma’s,” Mike told Lisa, a little winded and sounding nervous as hell. “It’s your birthday present.”

“My birthday’s not for two months.”

“I know. But I’m giving it to you early.”

Bobby dropped his marshmallow into the coals, nearly tumbling in after it in his rush to get to his father. “Can I have mine early, too? Is it a Wii? Can I have it now?”

“No, not telling, and no. Open it, Lisa.”

Keri couldn’t help inching closer as Lisa painstakingly untied the pink ribbon. Being a paper tearer by nature, she itched to reach over and yank hard on the wrapping paper. But she didn’t let herself get close enough because it was, after all, a family moment.

Finally, just about the time Keri was starting to twitch, Lisa sliced through the last piece of tape and ever so carefully folded back the paper and lifted the lid. By standing on her tip-toes and craning her neck, Keri could make out another gaily wrapped and beribboned box, identical to the first, only smaller.

Three boxes later, Bobby had a fresh marshmallow dangling about three feet too high over the fire, Kevin was nodding off in his chair, and Lisa’s smile wasn’t nearly as bright.

“This was a lot funnier in my head,” Mike mumbled.

It only took another two boxes before Lisa started snapping ribbons and shredding paper, much to Keri’s relief. By the time she got down to one the size of a shirt box, Lisa had to stop and have a drink.

Inside that box was a navy blue folder with gold embossed script on the front. Keri edged forward, trying to make it out in the increasingly dim light.

“A travel agency?” Lisa opened the folder, then pressed her hand to her mouth.

“A two week Caribbean cruise,” Mike told everybody who’d managed to hang in there through the unwrapping. Lisa was still speechless, slowly turning the pages. “Our honeymoon. Finally.”

Lisa stopped about halfway through the packet and pulled out a sheet of creamy beige paper. “What does this mean?”

“It’s a reservation for a sunset wedding ceremony on the cruise ship. I thought we could get married again, just the two of us. No kids—in utero or otherwise. I’ve been saving money for three years for this and waiting for Bobby to start first grade so taking the kids for two weeks wouldn’t be too much of a burden on Terry and Ma. That’s…that’s why I’ve been so freaked out by you wanting another baby.”

“Getting married again? But why?”

“Because I want to. Not because I have to or because it’s expected of me. Just because I
want
to.”

Almost totally unsupervised at this point, the kids were making monster s’mores and melted marshmallow was congealing on every surface for twenty feet, but Keri didn’t care. She was too busy looking for a tissue. It seemed Terry and Mary were hoarding them.

“I wanted to do this a little more privately,” Mike continued, “in case you turned me down, but it seemed like the time had come.”

Lisa paused in furiously wiping her face to keep her tears from wrecking the papers in her lap. “Turn you down? What are you talking about?”

“Did you ever stop to think if I wondered if you’d only married
me
because you had to? Or if the only reason you’ve stayed with me is because it’s easier than being a single mother of four kids?”

“I…no. I’ve always loved you, and I thought you knew that.”

“And I thought you knew I’ve always loved you, too.”

“Oh.” Lisa clutched the folder to her chest and smiled through her tears. “I’ll need a new dress.”

Mike rolled his eyes as the guys in the crowd laughed. “Like I can afford one now.”

Lisa launched herself into her husband’s arms and—while one of the boys made gagging sounds—everybody went back to what they were doing before Mike had rolled in.

Except Keri. With everybody laughing at the melted marshmallow on Kevin’s ass and the smeared chocolate in Bobby’s hair, thankfully nobody noticed her step into the shadows and slip away to the cabin. If Joe wanted to claim she’d forfeited a question by leaving the campfire early, so be it.

Without turning the lights on, she climbed into the bunk and pulled the covers up over her head.

The envy was going to eat her alive. How crazy was that? Never for a second had Keri ever thought she’d be envious of a woman who was a bundle of insecurities—whose career consisted of laundry and carpooling, and who had given birth to four walking, talking weapons of mass destruction.

Hell, right now she was even envious of Terry. Sure, her husband might have walked out on her, but for thirteen years she hadn’t slept alone at night. She hadn’t stood at her kitchen counter—alone—choking down frozen gourmet meals fresh from the microwave.

Keri could have had all that with Joe. She’d given it all up to make something of herself. To build a career. She was successful, respected, financially comfortable, and
this
close to achieving her goal.

It was all Joe’s fault. All that talk about love and children earlier had weakened the tick-dampening wall around her biological clock and now this?

Closing her eyes in a wasted effort to keep the tears from leaking out, Keri hated questioning the path she’d taken, but she couldn’t help it. Maybe, when she’d been sitting there so confused in her white cap and gown with the tassel tickling her cheek, she’d made the wrong choice.