Authors: Bonnie R. Paulson
Tags: #ya apocalypse, #ya dystopic, #ya romantic suspense, #ya thriller, #YA survivor fiction, #survivor, #survival, #survival fiction, #end of world
“Well, wait now. I’m not saying that exactly.” He shifted on his seat, glancing beyond my shoulder to the man at the door. “Ethan, can you wait outside, please? Give me five and then come back in.” A soft click signaled Ethan’s exit. Rowan rested his forearms on the edge of the table. “I’m not sharing this with many people, even my family, but I go out every two to three days looking for another safe place like this for our community to stretch into.”
Pride lifted Rowan’s chin and he smiled. “Yes, sir, we are matching young men and women to be later united for the most high calling of procreation.”
“What does that mean?” Bodey was smarter than most boys. When he didn’t understand something, it was pretty clear that whatever was being said needed clarification.
Affable, Rowan spoke smoothly. “It means, Bodey, that once we get another community to expand into, we will be sending the couples there to have babies and reproduce. With few people left in the world, it’s our job to make sure things are carried further.”
Like a baby-making farm? Gross.
John studied the three of us as we spoke, his eyes narrowed and his lips taut.
“What does that have to do with Bodey and I staying together?” The concept was slipping past me. Bodey and I could be considered a stepping stone in Rowan’s plans to increase the population.
“Well, there are a couple things impacting this and it makes for difficult decisions to be made every day.” Rowan lifted his hand, fingers splayed. He ticked off a digit with each point, bending a finger toward his palm. “We don’t allow children in our town. Not right now. Children being defined as younger than thirteen, of course.” Next finger. “We also don’t allow anyone over the age of fifty.”
No one older than fifty? I didn’t glance at John, but I wanted to. Only a few days ago, he’d been laughing because he was still out camping at fifty-four. He wouldn’t be allowed in anyway. I wouldn’t need to stay there. We could go.
“That seems harsh.” Bodey’s forehead scrunched and he pushed his lips to the front as he perused Rowan.
“Let me finish and then I’ll explain. Sex is not allowed. Not until we have room to grow. If you and Bodey are just recently married, let’s say, I know I was your age once – you can’t control the hormones. If you have sex, your chances of pregnancy are pretty high which puts you on the short term occupancy list. I’m not interested in investing time and energy into you when you’ll be leaving soon.” He rubbed at a spot behind his ear.
I kind of wanted to kick him under the table.
We stared at Rowan as he stared at us. We’d reached a stalemate and no one seemed to know what to do.
As much as I wanted to stay there and be safe from the men hunting us, I wouldn’t be separated from my husband. John and Bodey were my family. I couldn’t be one thing and then do another. I’d said my vows. That was it. I stood, just as the door opened and Ethan returned quietly to his post.
“I think that’s my cue.” I glanced at Bodey, our eyes meeting. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be away from you. If that’s the cost for us to live here, I’m not willing to pay it.” Inside I shook, but I maintained my calm façade. How did no one see my shaking legs and the goose bumps on my neck?
I bent and lifted my backpack. Ethan waved his hands at Rowan like a poorly done pantomime. What was going on? I turned my gaze on Rowan who watched us, flicking his gaze from us to Ethan repeatedly.
Finally, he focused on me and half-stood, holding out his hand. “Now, let’s not get hasty. Let’s compromise. We can do that, right?” He stood and walked around the table to me. John stood and moved to my right side, close enough to push me behind him should I need it but far enough I didn’t feel penned in.
I glanced at Ethan again by the door. What kind of pull did he have?
If I needed John to, he’d rush to my aid immediately. But he let me have my independence – especially when he agreed with my answer.
Bodey moved beside me, crossing his arms. But he was closer, almost touching the rear of my shoulder.
Appreciation for the Christianson men filled me. I didn’t feel threatened or even like I needed to be on the defensive. I calmed down and waited to hear his offer.
“We can make a deal. I’m not going to acknowledge your marriage.” He held a hand when I half-turned on my foot toward the door. “But if you want to live with John and Bodey, you’re going to be given your own room. After we finish the interview process to see if you’ll even fit in here, I’ll explain the ins and outs of the community and how we get things done. Does that sound fair?”
John spoke up, stepping abreast of me. “If you’re the leader here, why can’t you just marry Bodey and Kelly now? Then it’s taken care of in this town, right?”
“Yeah, I could, but I’m not going to. Kelly needs a little bit more time to see what her options are. We have plenty of young men she might pair up nicely with. If you join our community, I would ask that since you’re not married, you abstain from intercourse. If you get pregnant before it’s time...” Shrugging, Rowan chuckled softly. “It’s like I said, John, compromise.”
I couldn’t completely wrap my head around his insinuations. What happened if I got pregnant before he said I could? More guys my age didn’t matter. I’d been in high school and the multitude of boys hadn’t appealed to me over Bodey. Why was he so intent on me choosing for myself? The power he insisted pushing on me was daunting and hard to reject. Its temptation was stronger than I’d thought it would be.
“This turned into a heavy conversation before I’ve even had a chance to interview you and see if we even fit. I apologize for my rudeness. Please, sit. It’s very nice to meet you all. I’d like to ask some questions.” He steepled his fingers, tapping his thumbs together. “This shouldn’t take long.”
Reclaiming our seats, we stared at him, waiting. I didn’t know what I wanted yet. I could stay with Bodey and John. In our own place, if we were a fit. I’d said that was what I wanted. Just because Rowan didn’t observe our marriage, didn’t mean we didn’t.
Assuming he’d stick to the deal, what else did we need to say or do to get in? What would it take? We were being tested without any idea what the material was.
“First of all, do you have any expectations of our community?” He waited, his eyes open and guileless.
I couldn’t look at the two main men in my life. What were my expectations? I couldn’t figure out what I wanted from myself, how did I know what I could expect from a community?
John lifted his hand just a few inches into the air and then dropped it. “That’s a difficult question since we don’t know what you have to offer. I think I can speak for us all when I say safety and a chance to help provide solid resources.”
“Can I add, too, though, that I don’t want to get raped or be sold? I think those are fair to mention, right?” Heat flooded my face, but I couldn’t back down. He wanted to know our expectations. Mine were cut and dry.
Bodey patted my arm, waiting for the next question. Maybe we could skate through all of them while John answered for us. If I kept my mouth shut, it’d be less pressure. I wouldn’t be opposed to that.
Rowan met my gaze, his eyes piercing across the small expanse of table separating us. “We don’t allow that kind of activity, Kelly, if that helps calm your mind. We are pretty tight here. What would you do, if things don’t work out and we send you on your way?”
“Thank you for that.” What would I do? I answered his question, as if his gaze commanded my participation. “We would keep going like we have been. Life hasn’t been terrible or even the worst it could be. We have each other and we’ve had fun. Our group does well together.”
I glanced at John, his “good-job” smile reassuring my insecurity.
Rowan nodded. “Okay.” He didn’t move his head but shifted his gaze from Bodey to John and then back to me. “What are your ages?”
Bodey spoke first. “I’m twenty.” He hadn’t spoken much since Rowan denounced the importance of our marriage.
“I’m forty-eight.” John didn’t even blink at the bald lie. Nothing on earth would make me call him out for it.
Rowan locked his gaze with John’s who sat calmly by my side. Neither one flinched.
The moment dragged on. Hardly anyone breathed.
“That means you would’ve had Bodey when you were eighteen.” Rowan quirked an eyebrow, challenging John.
Chuckling with an embarrassed flush on his cheeks, John nodded. “Yes. My wife and I made some poor choices in high school. Her parents chased after me and we got married about three months before Bodey was born.”
John hadn’t met his wife until college. I leaned forward, cutting off the story-telling. “I’m nineteen.”
Rowan shot a glance back to Ethan. I wanted to ask who he was so bad, but only because I needed to know how much power he had. I didn’t really care other than that.
Turning toward a table I hadn’t paid attention to when I’d entered, Rowan held his face expressionless and issued an order. “Go ahead and restock your items and then we’ll talk more.” He waited for us to move toward the table.
I stood first. Shyness didn’t exist in my world anymore. He offered to replenish some of my resources and didn’t mention if we were in or not. I wasn’t going to wait for him to go back on his offer.
The table was a standard eight-by-four fold-down with a blue vinyl tablecloth. A varied assortment of items had been randomly placed on the surface. I started at one end, studying each thing carefully. While the temptation to take everything was strong, I also recognized John and Bodey hadn’t picked yet, and I didn’t want to have to carry everything. If Rowan didn’t let us in, I didn’t want to be stuck with so many items.
A large roll of gauze caught my eye. We’d run out of first aid items about three weeks before. Not many people stocked those things, surprisingly. I picked up the soft light roll and studied the rest of the items. A small bottle of peppermint extract sat unassumingly beside a small braid of twine. The bottle fit my palm, the cool glass surface warming quickly in my grasp. Most people didn’t know the value of peppermint or mint of any kind.
But I did and I wanted it.
Turning from the table, I smiled at Bodey and John. Returning to my seat, I held up my items and said to Rowan, “Thank you.”
He nodded. Bodey and John left for the supplies. Rowan leaned forward, his hands folded. “Can I ask why you chose those?” He pointed at my hands.
I held up each item as I addressed. “We need gauze. I used the last one on a cut Bodey had a while back and the extract can do a lot of things we used to use medicine for – headaches, nausea, stuffy sinuses, all kinds of things. Too many to list, really. Is it okay that I took two?” Which would I choose, if I was only allowed one? The peppermint probably had more uses, but the gauze was invaluable when we needed it.
“No, please, that’s actually very conservative of you. Why only two?” He tilted his head to the side, as if my answer could solve all the problems of the world. His interest puzzled me. I couldn’t grasp why someone who led an entire group would want to know what I thought. I didn’t feel manipulated, but Mom always said to question people and their motives and not to trust anyone. A very important rule.
I didn’t like rules but they were hard to ignore. “It seems selfish to take too much. I know Bodey and John will get things to benefit our group and there’s no point in overloading ourselves, if you decide not to let us stay.” Shifting, I almost yawned, but contained the urge. I didn’t want to be rude. Fatigue would color my opinion on staying or going. Right then, I didn’t care one way or the other. I’d find happiness in another juice and laying my head down on the table.
Glancing over my shoulder, I found Ethan watching me with Rowan. He met my gaze brazenly, winking at the last second. I flicked my gaze forward, flushing – and not in a flattered way. How dare he? He didn’t know me. I didn’t want to know him. There would be some serious anger, if Ethan wanted me to stay and had played a role in the games.
Nothing about the guy was attractive, at least not compared to Bodey. He had too lean of a look, his shoulders the same width as his waist. I wanted to stand and run to Bodey’s side, hold onto his hand and mark myself as his in a stronger way than a slim ring did.
Men didn’t see anything when it came to women unless they were claimed. Apparently even that might not work. I didn’t know. I’d never been claimed as someone else’s. I clenched my jaw. Would I be in danger inside, if I wasn’t claimed?
Rowan watched the exchange. “Ethan’s my son. Good man.” His small smirk took me back, like he knew a secret I wanted to keep to myself. What? What secret?
I was tempted to throw my items at him and run from the room, but I didn’t have any real reason to. He’d been upfront so far and hadn’t pushed Ethan on me.
But he wanted to keep me there for Ethan. It couldn’t be more obvious when he glanced at Ethan as he made such a strong suggestion that I’d fit with a better man. Really?
John and Bodey sat down with their items, breaking up my conversation with Rowan. John had chosen a small tool kit and duct tape. Bodey had chosen a hatchet and binoculars. All good choices. I was confident we’d be fine outside of the walls, if we needed to be. We’d rather not have to make it, but we could.
Rowan glanced at their items as well, and then stood. He didn’t react beyond a slight nod. “I’ll be back in a moment. Please, make yourselves comfortable. There’s more to drink in the fridge and we have some homemade cookies on the counter by the sink in the room just that way.” He pointed off to the right at a small door which led into a closet-sized kitchen.
Was he going to tell us if we were staying or not? Were we being let down easy?
We didn’t move from our seats. Bodey reached out and grabbed my hand. “We’re okay, don’t worry. Everything is fine.” He leaned over and kissed my lips softly, the movement much more welcome than any attention from Rowan and his son.
I appreciated his comment, his attempts to keep me consoled, but what if everything wasn’t fine? What if we were being shown the door because of the items we’d chosen?
Swallowing, I pulled from his grasp and wiped my suddenly moist palms on my pants.